


Jolly Jersey Christmas

by Theonewhosawitall



Series: Very McDanno Days [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Airports, And how to steal them, Attempted crimes, Baking, Breaking and Entering, Childishness, Christmas Cookies, Christmas Decorations, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Lights, Christmas Presents, Christmas Tree, Competition, Dad Steve, Family, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Napping, Reindeer, Slow Build, Snow, Snowball Fight, So much guilt, Stubbornness runs in the family, Surprises, Traditional arguments, Visiting Santa Claus, air traffic control, airport chase, alls well that ends well, embarrassing parents, long distance, race through the airport, whats in the box
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:40:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 132,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25137826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theonewhosawitall/pseuds/Theonewhosawitall
Summary: Overwhelmed with responsibilities since Steve's departure, Danny has been finding it hard to adapt to life without him there to pick up the pieces. Especially when the kids are around. All they want is their uncle Steve, and Danny is too tired to help.All Danny can offer is a christmas trip to New Jersey to take their mind off of their troubles and maybe finally get some quality family time.Unless, yknow, Steve shows up to surprise them.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Series: Very McDanno Days [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1882621
Comments: 77
Kudos: 181





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted 1 short little one shot of Steve jumping out of a box to surprise Danny and the family and Danny being all ".... did you keep the receipts?" But now I have like 14 chapters to edit so. Yeah. I did that well did I?

When wandering the world it can be easy to forget time zones. While Steve usually remembered the differences between wherever he was and O'ahu, he couldnt account for whether Danny would be awake or not. Sometimes Steve would have to call at three in the morning so it was a half way decent time for Danny, and hed still miss him because Danny was busy with his kids or on a case. Meanwhile Danny couldnt keep track of where in the world Steve was at any given moment, so calling him was harder. Especially if he was on a plane. It wasnt really either of their faults, but they couldnt seem to catch each other recently. In the lead up to Christmas, they were really starting to miss each other.

Danny had been awake for half the night waiting for Grace to come back home. She had gone out under the guise of carolling with her friends, but five hours later she still hadnt come home. Despite the fact she still answered his calls, he couldn't help worrying. The carolling had turned into a party. Since Danny also had Charlie in the house he couldnt go out to find her, so she had to wait until she could find someone willing to give her a lift home. Danny found himself staring at his phone, waiting for her to text and let him know she was on her way home, safely.   
He was sitting infront of the tv, staring at his phone, when the doorbell finally rang. Danny instinctively glanced towards the gun case hidden behind the painting on his wall. He hated the part of him that could never trust an unexpected knock at the door, but he had been through too much to risk it. He was already concerned about Grace's safety and how he couldnt do anything about it, but right here and now, Charlie still needed protecting.

Danny kept his gun low and out of sight as he edged to the door. They knocked again. Danny tightened his grip as he opened the door a crack to peer through.   
Jerry filled the entire frame of the gap Danny had made. He tilted his head at Danny and waved. Danny's shoulders relaxed and he opened the door the rest of the way.

"Jerry, wh- what are you doing here so late?" Danny asked.

"Oh I'm just dropping something off," Jerry said.

Jerry was bringing by the first draft of his book for Five-0 to review later, and Danny couldnt help but assume that was what he was dropping off now.

"Couldnt it wait till the morning? I'll be at work in like-"

He glanced down at his watch and sighed. It was almost half one already and Grace was meant to take Charlie back to Rachel's in the morning when he went to work. If he didnt get some sleep soon he'd be too grouchy to appreciate the last of their time together, but he would never be able to get some rest if Grace didnt call soon.

"I figured you'd appreciate me delivering this now instead," Jerry said.

He took a step back and reached out an arm to call someone over. Grace ducked under his arm and gave Danny a sheepish smile.

"Hey Danno," she said.

Relief flooded through him, making his shoulders sag. "Gracie."

He opened the door fully to allow them into the room. They shuffled inside by they didnt move much further than the doorstep. Grace peeled off her jacket and hung it up next to Charlie's, and sat on the floor to pull off her shoes. Danny held the gun tightly behind his back so that Grace couldnt see it. When she stood back up she ducked past Danny to give Jerry a hug.

"Thank you for the lift Uncle Jerry, I really appreciate it," she said.

Jerry hugged her back. While her arms couldnt reach all the way around him, just one of his could reach around her. Danny chuckled to himself at that realisation. 

"Any time little one. Besides your dad would have killed me if I didnt make sure you were safe," Jerry winked.

"You are right about that, but thank you anyway Jerry, do you wanna come in for a drink or something?" Danny asked.

"Nah, I need to hit the hay. I was about to when I got the call. I couldnt leave Gracie stranded now could I?" Jerry said.

"No. No, I appreciate it though. Mahalo," Danny said, earnestly. 

Jerry nodded and gave him a small wave with two fingers. "See you in about eight hours."

Danny tried not to look disappointed, but he couldnt help it. In eight hours he was going to be at work in arguably one of the worst places to spend christmas holidays, but right now both of his kids were safe. All he had to worry about now was the big kid wandering the world alone. Danny shut the door behind Jerry and locked it. He thought Grace had already gone to her room, so he let his arm relax and the gun fall into view.

"What've you got that for Danno?"

"Well..." 

Danny considered lying to her to ease her mind. He didnt want her to be worried about every knock on the door when she went to college after all. But after all she had been though if theres one thing he knew it was that she was always going to be a target. People could get to him through her, so she would always be at risk. So he had to be honest.

"I wasnt sure who was at the door because I wasnt expecting anyone. If it wasnt someone to be trusted I wanted to be able to defend your brother."  
Grace tilted her head. "But you knew it had to be me right? Who else would come to our door in the middle of the night?"

Danny opened his mouth to respond, but he closed it soon afterwards. He didnt want to think about who else it could have been. Fortunately - or maybe unfortunately if you want to look at it that way - Grace was old enough to know how the world could be. 

"Oh... right..." she said.

The air changed between them. Danny wanted to say something to reassure her, but he wasnt sure what. Grace wanted to assure him she was responsible enough to look after herself, but she wasnt sure she could do it honestly. Instead the two of them just kind of looked at each other for a while, before Grace gestured towards her room.

"I'm gonna... im gonna go to bed," she said.

Danny nodded helplessly. He had no idea what to say to her. Grace hesitated, but moved towards her room anyway. Once she walked out of view, something in Danny's chest pushed him to stop her. To break the tension. 

"Gracie?" He called.

There was a pause before she appeared again. "Yeah?"

"Did you have a good time? Carolling, I mean?" He asked.

Grace smiled softly, and nodded. "Yeah."

Danny smiled back. "Good. Good night."

Grace just copied Jerry's wave and wandered back to her room. Danny let out a deep sigh.   
This parenting lark never got any easier. 

...

When Mary stepped out of the shower into the lounge she found her brother working out. He was doing press ups in the middle of the floor with Joan sitting cross legged between his shoulder blades and giggling brightly. 

"Do you even eat kid, I can barely feel you!" Steve teased.

Joan howled with laughter again as Steve bounced her playfully. Mary smiled wryly from the doorway. It was nice to see her look so happy, but Mary herself was just grateful that she could finally have a shower without being interrupted or worrying about Joan getting herself into trouble. 

"Mommy, mommy, look! No hands!" Joan laughed. 

"I see that!" Mary chuckled.

Steve paused mid-push up, and stayed in plank to look up at her. That was when she took the opportunity to snap a photo on her phone. Steve laid down to let Joan climb off of his back, and then stood up.

"Yknow you're old and retired now grandpa. You can relax and give up showing us up these days, it's not like youre a seal anymore," Mary teased.

"Once a seal always a seal," Steve countered.

Mary snickered affectionately as he reached for the towel he'd hung on the back of a chair to dab away the sweat.

"Hey, what time is it?" He asked.

"Its like ten, why?" Mary asked.

Steve didnt reply. He just grabbed his cell from the breakfast bar and headed out onto the balcony. Mary looked back at Joan. She was on her knees attempting to copy Steve's push ups. Unlike her uncle, her little arms were shaky and she couldn't keep herself up for long enough to complete one push up.

"Leave that to your uncle sweetie. You and me, we've got the jungle gym to keep us fit," she said.

She fell down onto her elbows and knees with an "oof" so she sprawled out across the floor dramatically. Meanwhile the moment Steve had stepped onto the balcony in his airy exercise gear, the warmth he had built up almost instantly evaporated. He didn't let that draw him back inside though. Instead he dialled Danny's number.  
Ten am in LA was seven am in O'ahu. Steve thought if he could get Danny to answer the phone after just waking up, maybe they could actually have a conversation before Danny had to go to work. Steve's grin grew when he heard Danny pick up.

"Hello?" That familiar Jersey accent grumbled sleepily.

"Morning handsome, long time no see," Steve grinned.

"Steve?" Danny sounded more alert already.

"Aloha Danno," Steve smiled.

Danny sat up in his bed, holding the phone to his ear.

The covers slipped away from his chest as he moved. As tired as he was, he perked up the moment he heard Steve's voice.

"How longs it been? Two weeks? Three?"

"Something like that," Steve agreed. 

It had been three weeks and two days to be precise - a fact Steve was keenly aware of - but neither of them were overly keen to dwell on that.

"How are the kids?" Steve asked.

"They're going back to Rachel's this morning," Danny explained.

"I thought they were spending Christmas with you this year," Steve said, confused. 

He rubbed his exposed arm to try and warm himself up now that the air was starting to bite. 

"They are, but they're staying with Rach until the twenty second," Danny explained mid yawn.

"That's good. They get to see both their parents over Christmas right? That's gotta make them happy," Steve said.

"I hope so," Danny nodded.

"Yeah..." 

Steve and Danny trailed off. It was odd to them both that when they were facing each other they couldn't get a moments silence, but on the phone they couldnt find anything to say. Neither of them were sure what they had said before and what they hadn't so they kept repeating themselves or forgetting to mention things. As stilted and awkward as it felt, both of them were desperate to keep the connection going for as long as possible.

"So what's the plan? Christmas traditions with the kids?" Steve asked.

"Actually were taking a vacation this year," Danny explained.

"A vacation? From paradise? Where are you going, heaven?" Steve teased.

"Sort of. We're going back to Jersey to see my parents," Danny said.

Steve snorted loudly. At the other end of the phone Danny's smirk grew to hear the joy in his partners voice. It made his chest feel warm. 

"If you're going to Jersey for Christmas who's going to make sure the ohana stay out of trouble?" Steve asked.

He was half joking when he said it, but only half. Part of him was constantly wondering who was looking after his squad since he left. Lincoln was a strong defence but Steve couldnt be sure his loyalties stuck with the team. 

"Everyones got plans man, its Christmas!" Danny said.

Danny was right. Adam was going to spend Christmas out in Moloki with Kono, and she was coming back to O'ahu for New Years. Since she had come home riding that high, having achieved such success with her task force, Kono had been given the choice of rejoining Five-O or heading up a task force to break up a drug smuggling ring in Moloki. She and Adam were slowly beginning to patch things up, so she was only consulting in Moloki while getting to grips with the new power system in Five-O. Lou was staying with his family. Quinn had mentioned Christmas dinner at La Mariana, but Danny was fairly sure she was joking. Although her additionally mentioned offer to spend Christmas on the Robin Master's estate raised some eyebrows. Tani and Junior were having their first Christmas together since their engagement and the bickering that was already creeping in at work didnt fill anyone with confidence, although it did offer Danny a strange nostalgia for New Jersey.   
Perhaps that's why he finally caved and agreed to bring the kids back to visit his parents over Christmas.

"So should I send the kids presents to Jersey this year instead of back home?" Steve asked.

"Well, um..."

Danny stifled a yawn to try and pretend Steve hadnt just woken him up. As he did he realised that he could hear Charlie through the wall playing races on his bed. It reminded him of their last argument, which hurt his heart a little. That pain in the bottom of his chest ached more when talking to Steve. Danny didnt want him to worry or rush back home just for him, but he really didnt have anyone else to talk to about this sort of thing. Who else do you talk to when your kid says they wish you were someone else?

"You still there Danny?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here. Have you got the Jersey address?"

"Yeah of course I do."

Danny furrowed his brow in confusion. "You do?"

"I t-told you I did my homework on you before we ever became partners. Besides, I spent a lot of t-time with your mother when she came to visit, she s-still sends me Christmas cards," Steve laughed.

He was regretting not bringing his jacket out with him now, but his mind had been so focused on finally getting in contact with Danny that he hadnt registered the cold. He tried to control his jaw so his teeth didnt chatter, because he didnt want Danny to catch on and make him go inside. He wanted some form of privacy to talk to Danny after all this time. He was dying for the intimacy of a drive together, for the speeding and the shouting and the laughter. Maybe they could do without the shooting this time though. 

"You alright Steve, you dont sound right," Danny said, concerned.

"Yeah, no, I'm fine. Its just cold here," Steve said.

Danny peeled back his curtain to check the weather outside. Hawaii was Hawaii. Even in winter the sun was out and sparkling on the sea. People were out surfing in Santa hats. Not for the first time, Danny was glad to have moved into Steve's old house while he was gone. This place had a much better view than his old apartment and so much more space. Evven so, there was one thing missing from it.

"Where are you?" Danny wondered aloud. 

Despite the fact he wasnt really asking anyone, he had forgotten he was on the phone.

"Me? Im-" Steve began.

Danny's bedroom door slammed open making him jump. Steve straightened up at the sound of the sudden crash at the other end of the phone. All of a sudden his chest was gripped with an ice cold alarm that he had felt far too many times before. The sickly fear made his stomach drop. 

"Danny?! Talk to me Danny!"

There was a hauntingly familiar crackle at the other end of the phone that took the air out of Steve's lungs... He could hear muffled conversation and the sound of crashing that he couldn’t place. It sounded less like fighting and more like bouncing.

"ARE YOU TALKING TO UNCLE STEVE?! HI UNCLE STEVE! HI!" 

Steve almost collapsed in relief. He leaned heavily on the railings of the balcony to support himself and let himself laugh away the fear in his heart.

He couldnt and didn't try to hide the delight in his voice as he said, "Hi Charlie! How excited are you for Christmas?!"

Charlie's voice was suddenly a lot closer to the phone and he dropped his tone to a normal volume. But he was a kid, and he was excited to talk to his uncle, and that shone through his words.

"Really excited! Im going on a plane uncle steve!" He cried.

"Yeah, I heard. T-thats gonna be really cool isnt it?" Steve grinned.

"Yeah!" Charlie beamed.

"Alright, come here, settle down. Have you brushed your teeth, let me smell?"

Danny's voice was muffled by distance from the microphone. Steve heard Charlie give a very heavy breath, presumably into Danny's face. His smile grew as he pictured the scene. That little family always warmed his chest. Especially when Danny groaned in disgust afterwards. 

"Aw you animal, go and brush your teeth," Danny said.

Charlie giggled manically, yelled goodbye towards the phone, and raced off towards the bathroom to brush his teeth. Steve's smile filled his entire face.

"He sounds like hes becoming a handful," steve said.

"Hes got buckets of energy and likes sugar, of course hes a handful. Hes the best handful in the world," Danny said.

Steve bit his lip, his grin was too strong to keep out of his voice as he chuckled. "Takes after his f-father."

Danny rolled his eyes but half of his mouth curled up into that stupid smirk that Steve always managed to raise out of him. 

"You're the handful army boy," Danny teased.

"Navy boy," Steve corrected. 

"Well neither one taught you to clean up your messes- the fire department sent a professional over to fix the electrics in the palace after your guy did them, and they found even more issues than the assessors picked up," Danny said.

"Oh everything worked, they're just being overly picky," Steve scoffed.

"The vent systems leading to your old office were still blocked up with some kind of powder they couldnt identify," Danny said, pointedly.

"Ah I'm alive so I'm s-sure it's f-fine," Steve shrugged.

"I'm sure it counter acted the radiation poisoning huh?" Danny snorted.

"Are you suggesting I'm danger prone?" Steve accused.

"I'm not suggesting it im saying it, you're danger prone," Danny stated.

"I- I cant believe you think so little of me! All I do is protect you -" Steve began.

"Protect me? Really?" Danny scoffed.

He bit his tongue there. Thinking _no_ _Steve, you have to be around to protect someone_ , is one thing, saying it is another. Unfortunately Steve knew Danny enough to know when he had something to say.

"Are you ok Danno?" He asked, concerned.

Danny considered telling Steve the truth. It might even have shifted some of the weight that was sitting on his shoulders. But then he glanced at the clock. If he didnt shower and get dressed now he wouldnt have time to feed Charlie breakfast before he left for work let alone take Eddie for a run.

"Yeah, but I gotta run, I've got things to take care of," he muttered.

Danny hadnt meant to sound bitter about anything in that sentence, but what you mean and what you do arent always the same thing. Steve felt his words sting straight through him, wiping the smile off of his face. 

He glanced at Joan through the window. She was sitting at the breakfast bar colouring pictures while Mary went to get dressed. "Yeah, me too..."

"Let me know wherever you go next so I can work out what time I can call you alright? We need to talk more, I miss you, the kids miss you - Eddie's forgotten all about you though so dont worry about him-"

"Hey, that dog has saved my life multiple times, he wont ever forget me ok, I love that dog," Steve laughed.

"I have too yknow, why don't I ever get the same praise?" Danny teased.

"You're just not the right kind of blonde Danno," steve smirked.

"Whatever. Talk soon. Stay safe," Danny said.

"Aloha buddy, give the kids my love," Steve said.

"Aloha," Danny muttered.

He hung up and tossed his phone onto the bed. It felt wrong. Hanging up without knowing when they would even speak again, let alone see one another, it just felt wrong. They were supposed to grow old and wrinkly together and drink beer on the beach in their weathered old chairs together. Now they felt like they had never been further apart.   
It just felt wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

"I know, I know, I promised to spend Christmas with you guys, but, I dunno what it is, i just feel like they need me yknow?"

That was a lie. Steve could pinpoint exactly which point in the conversation his plans shifted from Christmas with Mary to Christmas with Danny. It was the way Danny paused between words to hold in a sigh. That little sound, that pause for breath, told Steve how thin the thread Danny was holding onto was. It had been playing and replaying in his mind since he heard it. He had yo-yoed back and forth trying to decide if he should go or stay, but while neither decision felt comfortable, one of them didnt feel right.  
At the time Mary was standing in the middle of the room, holding her laundry basket on her hip so her plaid jacket rode up over it. Steve had already offered to do the laundry for her but she had refused. he was about to offer again when She moved her spare hand to wipe some sweat off her brow with a sigh. She was taken aback, clearly, but she didn't seem all that surprised. When she shook her head, her ponytail bounced, which Steve had teased her about when they were young. These days that bounce warmed his chest with nostalgia. It did not ease his guilt in any way though. 

"Alright," she said finally, "but you need to be the one who tells Joanie."

Steve squared his shoulders back and subtly gulped. Sure, he had faced nightmares as a navy seal, and he had seen horrors in Five-O, things he didnt ever want to talk about, things he could never forget, but the prospect of facing that little girl and telling her that he couldnt stay for Christmas like he promised, filled him with more fear than he had felt in years.

"You really gonna make me do this sis?" Steve pleaded.

"Dont sis me, if you're not gonna be here for her, you have to tell her!" Mary said.

"But shes so excited to meet santa," steve said.

"I know she is, and you're going to leave me with that!" Mary argued. 

Joan was very excited to meet Santa Claus. They had set up a plan for that to happen too. They were going to pretend to send Steve out to the store before it shut, and then send Joan off to brush her teeth. While she was out of the room, Steve was going to sneak back in dressed up like Santa (beard and all) to help Mary scatter powdered snow here and there and drink the milk. Mary would then hide in her bedroom and jingle some bells to lure Joan back into the room, to bump into Santa. Then she and Steve would share the cookies (store brought since Mary burned the last three batches) then they'd tell her that since she's been special enough to meet Santa, maybe she can keep this as a special secret so no one gets jealous.

Their own father had encouraged them to keep meeting Santa secret when they were young in this way. It was mostly to stop them from thinking about the story and finding the plot holes and realising that the santa they had met wasn't the real Santa, but it made them feel extra special. Joan would inevitably blab to steve in the morning, because this was going to be the first time she saw the "real" Santa in her house.

Plus, since she was getting older and had reached the age when she didnt believe mall santas were really anymore, she was beginning to reach the age she stopped believing in him altogether, so this year was their last big chance for the Santa Claus experience. Steve had been thrilled to carry the tradition on, even if it meant carrying the heavy sack of presents currently hidden in the trunk of Mary's car. Unfortunately if he wanted to get to New Jersey in time to catch up with Danny and the kids, he couldnt be here on Christmas eve.   
Steve's mind automatically went into planning mode. If he needed to let down Joan, he needed to do it gently. A plan formed instantly, but they would have to be quick.

"Alright, hear me out, I need you to get the cookies from the top shelf now-" steve began.

"Cookies from the top- you're like two feet taller than me!" Mary argued.

"While I get my santa suit ready. We can do this, we've got just enough time before she gets back from her playdate!" Steve declared.

"What are you talking about? Steve, what is the plan?" Mary asked.

"You'll see," Steve reached out to touch both of her arms at the same time and give her that mildly manic grin he always got when jumping into a plan, "We're gonna give Joanie her Christmas wish!"

With that Steve went bounding off towards Mary's bedroom where he had hidden his Santa suit on the top shelf in a boring old carrier bag so Joan wouldnt go snooping in it. Mary watched him go and blinked in confusion. 

"That damn fool is going to break that six year old's heart," she muttered.

With another sigh, Mary put the laundry basket down on the empty couch and pushed her fringe out of her eyes. She glanced over at the fake snow sitting on the mantle piece above the little pink stocking with Joan's name in golden thread embroidered onto it.   
Well if they were going to do it, they had to do it right!

...

If there was one thing Steve would remember about the moment he heard those keys jangle outside the door, it was the spilt second panic and the voice in his head urging him to remember _n_ _ot_ to say Aloha. Joan hadn't recognised Steve at the airport and had hidden behind Mary's legs when he appeared, but when he crouched down and said "Aloha Joanie" like he always had on the phone calls and video chats, she lit up and threw her arms around him.   
If he said Aloha now, he'd give the game away.   
Steve hurried over to the chair they had dragged across the floor to the mantelpiece so he could take his seat. He took one final scratch under his beard before the door opened and he had to lean back and give his best merry beam. Mary was holding Joan's had when she opened the door, but she went skipping in to take her shoes and coat off on her own.

"Hey now missy! Good girls put their coats on the hook! You want santa to know you've been good now, dont you?" Mary's voice came from the doorway.

They were just out of sight but if Joan was anything like Mary was at her age, Steve could picture what had happened. Excited to get in and get fed, Joan had kicked off her shoes, tossed them aside, and then dropped her coat on the floor beside them so she could get to the kitchen faster. Steve chuckled affectionately at the memory. Priorities was so much clearer when they were kids.   
He had to snap out of memory lane when Joan wandered into the room though. She was carefully stepping between the snowy boot prints that led from the door to the lounge. Each of his single steps were a small leap for her to follow. Her fascination was so tied to it, she walked straight past the plate of cookies without noticing. 

"Ho, ho, _h-_ _oh!_ Hello there little Joanie!" Steve boomed cheerfully.

Joan snapped upright and alert at the sound of his voice. Steve bit back a laugh at her surprise. Those bright blue wide eyes made her whole face look like a cartoon sometimes, but she was adorable. 

"Sorry to surprise you like this, I know I'm not supposed to be here for a few more days-" Santa began.

"Three," Joan stated.

"That's right! Three days! What a smart girl you are Joanie. Come here, sit on my knee, and let me tell you why im here," Steve smiled and patted his knee.

Joan didnt move. Mary laid a hand on her head gently so Joan looked up at her nervously. Mary smiled and nodded. 

"Go on sweetie, its Santa!" She said gently.

Joan was hesitant, but she wandered over to Steve. He ho-ho-ho-ed again as he scooped her up and set her on his knee gently. She stared at him still, like she was trying to uncover a secret. 

"Mary dear, is there any chance we could have some cookies too?" Santa asked.

"Actually Joanie made some cookies over at Michelle's today, didnt you sweetie?" Mary asked.

Steve gasped dramatically, laid a hand on her knee, and looked between Mary and Joan in amazement.

"You made cookies?! How wonderful!" He beamed.

"Can Santa have one of your cookies Joan?" Mary asked, smirking.

Joan squinted at the request as though weighing up her options. Mary hid a snort behind her hand as she did. She had seen steve make that face a dozen times at least, but never over something so small. After a long pause, Steve cleared Steve throat.

"It would be very _nice_ to share a cookie," he point out.

Joan looked at him very seriously and said, "You should never bribe an official, its not legal."

At that Mary burst into laughter. 

"Is a cookie a bribe?" Steve asked, trying to keep the laughter out of his tone.

"Uncle Steve says bribes dont always look like bribes," Joan said.

"When did you and uncle Steve talk about bribes?" Mary asked.

She shot an accusing look at Steve. Steve thought back to the conversations he had had with Joan in the last two weeks hed been staying there. Only once did he recall mentioning bribes. He had caught Joan drawing on the wall and she had tried to bribe him not to tell Santa. More importantly, she didnt want Mary to know. He had helped her wash the paint away and shrugged when Mary asked if the wall looked paler than ot should. If she found out now accusations would fly. 

"How good and law abiding of you Joanie! How about we have some normal cookies instead of your special ones? Yeah? Good," Santa urged.

Mary squinted suspiciously at Steve, but she wandered away to find the plate of cookies anyway. Joan took one from the middle, and Santa took one from the edge and both of them thanked Mary. Manners are very important to Santa after all. Steve had learned that from Danny. A whole decades worth of Father Danny Christmas had left its mark. That was partly why he wanted to be santa for Joan. Because he missed watching Danny delighting his kids over Christmas.   
That realisation sent a pang of guilt through Steve's chest. He wondered how difficult it would be for Danny without him there to help set up. Although at least he still had Adam to help like last time Steve couldnt. 

"Can I have two?" Joan asked.

"Two?!" Santa chuckled warmly, "why of course you can. Mary, could Joanie have another?"

Mary hummed dubiously. "Dinner isnt going to be very long."

"Well we dont want to ruin our dinners, do we Joanie? But maybe just _one_ more, if we say please?" Santa said.

"Please mommy?" Joan pleaded.

Mary glanced between Joan's wide blinking eyes and Steve's pleading pout. She smiled to herself.

"Alright, just one. But we have to save some for uncle steve remember," she warned.

"Yes mommy," joan beamed.

She took the one that mary handed to her and bit straight into it. The crumbs scattered themselves in Steve's beard which made him itchy but he fought it off. He couldnt risk giving the game away.

"That's very nice. Does uncle steve like cookies?" He asked. 

"Yeah he likes them loads! Especially home made, but we keep burning them on accident," Joan explained, grinning.

"Oh dear. Practice makes perfect though so we should just keep trying," Santa smiled.

Joan grinned back and nodded. Now she had settled down and accepted that Santa was here and not to be feared, she kept grinning at him like he was made of magic. Steve was warmed through and through by the wonder in her eyes.

"I expect you're wondering why I'm here Joanie. Well I'm afraid I have some bad news," Santa said calmly.

Joan's shoulders sagged. "Oh no!"

"Dont worry, it's not terrible news, it's just slightly sad," Santa assured her.

Mary shot him a look that said, _re_ _ally?!_ _You're gonna make santa let her down?!_ But steve ignored her.

"You see, your uncle steve loves you very, very much, and he was really looking forward to seeing you opening all of your presents on Christmas day. Unfortunately one of Steve's dear, dear, _dear_ friends, needs him a lot-"

"Is it uncle Danny?" Joan interrupted.

Mary snorted. Steve's eyebrows rose in surprise. He hadnt realised how often he talked about Danny, but looking back on the bedtime stories he told her he should have. Danny featured in every. Single. One. 

"Yes it is uncle Danny. Ho, ho, ho, I knew you were a smart one!" Santa laughed.

"Mommy says uncle Steve loves uncle Danny more than anyone else in the whole wide world, just like how she loves me!" Joan explained.

"Yes she does!" Santa agreed.

He chose to ignore the comment leading to that statement. Ignoring things that revealed the depths of his affections towards his best friend was something he had become very good at. 

"And Uncle Danny loves uncle Steve," Joan finished firmly.

"Lord knows why," mary muttered under her breath.

"Santa heard that," Santa warned.

"Then I guess im getting coal this year," Mary said.

She pulled a face at Joan when she said it to make her giggle. Hearing her joy warmed Steve's heart. It made dressing up in this ridiculous (and itchy) suit totally worth it.

"Anyway. As much as uncle Steve really wants to spend christmas with you, hes being a very, very good boy by going to help uncle Danny, which you know is very, very important," Santa urged gently.

But Joan's big blue eyes were already softening as she realised what he was going to say. 

"So uncle steve isnt going to be here for Christmas?" She asked sadly.

Steve's heart ached guiltily at the disappointment in her expression. Without thinking, he ran his gloved hand gently down her hair. 

"I'm afraid not sweetie. But, your mom is still here. And uncle steve is leaving his presents. Im sure this will still be the best Christmas you could wish for!" Santa urged.

Joan turned to look at Mary, with the same puppy dog eyes that melted Steve every time. Mary was more hardened to them than he was, but she pouted back.

"What do you wish for for Christmas Joanie?" Santa asked.

Joan lit up again and cried, "I want a puppy!"

Mary's eyes bulged as she silently declared that that would not be happening. Her allergies were never going to let that happen. She silently implored steve to convince her that anything else would be better.

"How about a cute plush dog?" Santa asked.

"But I want a real dog!" Joan whined.

"Sorry my dear but your mom is allergic. She can't breathe around animals," Santa explained.

Joan whined again, wriggling in Steve's lap grumpily. "But I want one!"

Steve adjusted his grip so that she was settled comfortably in his lap and not at risk of falling off.

"I know, but sometimes we have to compromise to get whats best for everyone. Do you understand?" He explained gently.

"So I cant get a puppy?" Joan said slowly.

"Sorry honey," Mary asked.

"And Uncle Steve isnt staying for Christmas?" Joan added.

"No," Santa said gently.

Joan looked back towards Mary again, and then back at Santa. Her dear little face fell into a heartbroken look of utter disappointment. Her eyes welled up slowly. Then, all at once, she broke into a loud cry and reached to rub her tears away. The guilt that flooded through Steve was worse since he was dressed as Santa. He tried to keep composed as he bundled her close to his chest for a hug. 

"Oh-ho-ho, no sweet joanie, please dont cry! Think about all the _good_ things that you can do instead! Uncle Steve wont be here, but mommy will! You can eat all those cookies you made today," he urged.

That did not help in any way, and now that she was pressed against his beard, the hairs were getting in her mouth and she was choking between sobs. Mary peeled her back gently and patted her on the back a couple of times to try and help her stop coughing.

"And we still have time to make new decorations before Uncle Steve leaves," Mary promised.

"And uncle steve will help?" Joan asked hopefully, between gasps.

"Of course he will!" Santa promised.

Joan didnt respond. She was too busy sniffing to try and get some air back into her lungs. Steve pulled a hanky from his pocket to wipe away her tears, but the snot was a bigger issue.

"Oh no, oh dear now! Come here Joanie sweetie, let santa give you a special santa hug!" Santa said.

Steve picked up Joan and tucked his arm under her legs to hoist her up like a baby in his arms. As he cradled her to his chest, he stroked her hair gently and rocked her back and forth. She soothed as he did, just like she did as a baby. Just like Charlie had too. Of course it was Aunt Deb who had taught him how to soothe children, partly because she was teaching Mary and told him to listen up because she wouldnt be around forever and it would be invaluable information when he had kids of his own. To her credit, it had been invaluable. One of Steve's favourite memories was the way that he had soothed Charlie into silence in about a minute after Rachel and Danny had been trying to settle him for two hours. The dumbfounded look on Danny's face kept Steve going for weeks. 

"Dont you worry Joanie my dear," Santa whispered gently, "I promise that you'll get what you deserve this year."

Joan nodded against his shoulder, and Mary rang the bells to make it sound like the reindeer needed him back. Reluctantly, steve pulled away from Joan and left with another ho ho ho before Mary shut the door on him.

You'd be surprised how many people in LA dont bat an eyelid at a guy in half a santa suit sitting on the steps outside of an apartment block, looking greif stricken.   
Guilt had become a constant companion in Steve's life recently. As much as he felt Joan deserved a family Christmas for once (it had been three years since their last christmas together in O'ahu and even then they had taken in Danny, Junior and Adam as strays) he couldn't ignore the siren call of New Jersey. He had been avoiding the general area since promising Danny he'd visit, but now it felt like something was drawing him there. Something was pushing him to see Danny in New Jersey and he just couldn't fight it.   
But leaving Joan felt like breaking a promise.   
Steve pinched the brow of his nose and let out a deep sigh. He couldn't shake the guilt, but he could do something to help ease it. He just hoped the stores were still open.


	3. Chapter 3

Danny could smell burning. Alright, the amount of explosions he had been in not to mention that forest fire had left him constantly getting whifts of burning, but this was more than that. Add to the smell the almighty clattering coming from the kitchen, and Danny didnt have to be fully awake to guess what was happening.   
He heaved a sigh, forced his eyes open, and peeled himself out of bed. Danny had been feeling increasingly like an old man recently, but now as he shuffled down the hallway in his fuzzy beige slippers, tying the belt of his dressing gown, he felt older than ever.

At the sound of footsteps, Eddie's ears pricked up. He also heaved himself up out of his bed and wandered over to follow Danny. He padded along the corridor at his heels. Eddie tended to fetch the paper in the morning these days, since he had restless energy that he usually spent running with Steve. If the paper had been delivered yet, Eddie would have run out to fetch it already. Given how sleepy the dog was, Danny assumed it had not yet come.   
Parts of his mind that were already beginning to creak back into action were wondering what people ever did before the invention of coffee, and was incredibly grateful he'd never have to know. As he shuffled closer to the kitchen he could hear that it was not one, but both of his children who had woken up before him. His chest heaved.  
One you can coax back to bed to get an extra lie in, but two? No chance.

"But I dont want bacon!" Charlie whined.

"You get what you get and you dont get upset!" Grace scolded.

Danny snorted. He couldnt help the bubble of pride in his chest to hear his daughter echo his words.

"The bacon isnt for you anyway, you've got fruit loops," she added.

"I want chocolate milk," Charlie said.

"I said no Charlie," Grace said.

"But-"

"You'll get a sugar rush!"

Charlie grumbled loudly as he sunk back in his chair to sulk. Danny smirked to himself. It wasnt often that he got to see his kids interacting without knowing he was there. It was nice to see this side of them. Sometimes it was easy to forget how much of a kid Charlie got to be, while Grace had grown up so fast.

"Danno always lets me put chocolate milk on my fruit loops!" Charlie lied.

"That is an incorrect statement, I have never - not once - let you put chocolate milk on your fruit loops," Danny said.

Charlie's nose wrinkled the way it always did when he was caught out on a lie. Much to his displeasure, it was also his tell in poker, so he could never beat Grace. Not unless she was feeling generous anyway.   
Grace on the other hand, looked just like her mother. With her hair swept back in a messy bun and no make up for a change and bare feet standing on her tiptoes, she was caught somewhere between the kid she had always been and the woman she was growing into. Danny felt time tapping him on the shoulder more and more when he looked at her. Although he had a feeling she was attempting to look threatening as she brandished the oily spatula at him and she might have, she she not been wearing the purple apron that Steve had left behind, untied so it just hung across her, flapping like a backwards cape.

"Danno! No! Go back to bed! We're making you breakfast in bed!" She warned.

The oil spat out of the pan, splattering the sides as well as the splash back and causing her to jump back on her tip toes as it did. Danny picked his way through the chaos of spilt milk, broken egg shells and dropped fruit loops scattered on the kitchen floor. He was sure he'd taught them the importance of cleaning as you go when in the kitchen, but they clearly didnt listen. 

"Well that's sweet, but in fact what you're making here is a big mess, so how about I take over, ok?" He said.

As he moved he took the spatula from her and moved past to lower the heat under the frying pan. Grace stepped back to lean against the table behind her and crossed her arms sulkily. As she did it knocked Charlie's bowl and spilt the milk over the edge. Eddie padded over to headbutt her affectionately in an attempt to cheer her up. She scratched behind his ears because he was a good boy and he always cheered her up.

"But we were trying to let you rest before the big day tomorrow!" She said.

The big day tomorrow already filled Danny with dread. He had already paid the money for all three of them to travel and arranged for someone to come and pick him up from the airport. To cancel now would be really inconvenient.  
But now he was going to have to take Eddie to Junior's today so he could double check everything was ready tonight and everything essential was packed in the morning for them to fly tomorrow.   
Eleven hours in a tin can with an over excited eight year old and an eighteen year old who just wanted to spend her last christmas before college, at home. She had eventually been persuaded not to stay here alone, or to go with Rachel, but to come to New Jersey with him and Charlie, as long as he promised she would be back to go to her friends party on New Years Eve. After all, chances were she wouldnt be able to see her family again for ages. 

"I know I said I didn't want to go at first but Im looking forward to it now. I haven't seen Pop-Pop in forever," Grace said.

"It has not been forever-" Danny began to argue.

"Have I met Pop-Pop?" Charlie asked, cutting him off.

Danny's argument died before it was made since he couldnt remember if Charlie had ever actually met his grandparents yet. Fortunately, Grace did.

"No. You've met Aunt Bridget though," Grace said.

"No that was Stella when she came to visit Eric. And I thought you werent here for that. You were staying at your mothers for the spa weekend. How'd you find out?" Danny asked.

"I follow Eric's insta," Grace shrugged.

Danny didnt have an answer for that. He also didnt have an answer for Charlie when he asked who would be at their grandma's house for Christmas. As much as he adored his mother, her planning skills left something to be desired and her communication skills were almost non-existent when it came to things that might matter. Danny could tell you the exact shape, location, colour, position and amount of hairs in a mole the neighbour had found on her leg since she'd told him about sixteen times - it wasnt cancer, it was just a mole, dont worry she got it checked out - but she'd utterly forgotten to mention Uncle Vito's heart attack for weeks.

As for who was coming to Christmas, well! It could be anyone. One time she invited the mail man to Christmas and he came. Brought his niece too. That was all good fun until her boyfriend turned up and tried to fight Eric for hitting on her.  
Danny was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of Charlie's giggling. 

"Eww, Eddie!" 

Danny suddenly became aware of the large labrador who had pushed his way under the table to sniff at the dropped food. He was currently scoffing down loose loops. Danny's shoulders dropped. If Steve had been here Eddie would never have dared. He had no power over that dog.

"Do me a favour will ya and clean this up. We dont live in a pig sty, were not your uncle Steve," Danny said.

Grace rolled her eyes and dragged herself like a marionette over to the broom. _We're living in his house_ , she thought to herself, but she wouldnt ever bring herself to voice it. She was very aware of her fathers financial situation, and plainly remembered halloween in the hotel, staying here was a huge step up for them. Besides, Steve never pretended this wasn't their home too. They had always felt welcome here, now it was just a little more permanent. 

"Will uncle steve be there Danno?" Charlie asked quietly.

Danny felt a pang in his chest. It had been days since he last heard from Steve, and it had taken him a while to realise what little had actually been said. He still had almost no idea where Steve was, but Charlie had been missing him a lot recently.

Late, a few nights ago, when Danny came home from a hard day's work (they had caught their perp but he had shot the hostage he was holding in an attempt to get away and as disastrous as that was, the paperwork was worse) Charlie was full of excitement since it was his last day of school.  
Charlie wanted Danny to stay and play races with him on his bed, like they used to. Danny was struggling to stay away though, so he refused. He struggled a little to get Charlie to lie down, and tucked him in. But when Danny paused at doorway to day goodnight, Charlie wouldnt look at him. 

Very quietly, he muttered, "Uncle Steve would have raced me."

His jaw dropped. He felt his heart break in a way that hurt more than any other could come close to. Danny couldnt even find the words to say goodnight. Instead, he just shut the door and laid awake in bed, thinking.  
Because he knew Charlie was right. If Steve had been there, he would have played. Exhausted or not, he would at least have tried one round, and he'd have promised to play in the morning instead if he couldnt. and as long as there wasnt a case the next morning, he would keep that promise.   
Truth was Danny missed him too for the same reason. He hadn't realised how much he leaned on Steve before he left. Without him, things were getting tougher than he had expected. 

"Uhh, I dunno kiddo. I dont think so though. I think he's busy this Christmas," Danny said.

"Doing what?" Charlie asked.

"Well its christmas. He probably wants to be with people who love him," Danny shrugged.

"If he wants to be with people who love him, why did he leave?" Grace muttered under her breath.

As quietly as she wanted to be, she couldnt help how bitterly it sounded. That was what caught Danny's attention. She ducked her head guilty when he glanced over at her. He didnt need to he a detective to see the way she clung onto Steve's apron.   
Grace had been hurt when she found out that Steve had left without saying goodbye to her. She had known him since she was a kid. He was a huge part of her life in Hawaii. She felt slightly upended without him in a way she hadnt expected to. That, Danny assumed, was what had caused her grades to slip at the end of exams, and why she couldnt settle on which college to attend. She couldnt make up her mind without over thinking that decision the next day.  
But Danny was still her father. He hated seeing her suffer, and he didnt want her to hold grudges. If she did, she might turn out like him. Danny reduced the heat of the frying pan even more and put a hand on his hip as he turned to look at her.

"Something you're gonna find out as you grow up Gracie is that people will never do what seems logical to you, alright? No one will ever do what makes sense because people dont make sense. Especially not uncle steve. But it doesnt matter, because if you love them and they love you they work out the logic for themselves and they come back, alright? You just have to let them go so they realise they want to come back," Danny explained.

"Like when you go away to school and then only come back for holidays," Charlie said to Grace.

"Exactly like that, thank you, exactly," Danny grinned.

"But only if they want to come back," Grace pointed out.

Danny turned his attention back to the frying pan to try and hide the way he worried his bottom lip. They needed to want to come back, sure, but what if they didnt?

"If you love something, you let it free. If it comes back to you, thats all that matters," Danny said, firmly.

Grace disagreed. In fact, she had proof that someone coming back because they love you didn't mean they were going to stay around and work it out. That proofs name was Charlie. But she didn't want to start an argument before the day had even started so she said nothing. Danny plated up the bacon and eggs and set it on the side.

"Grubs up, who's it for?" He asked.

"You," Grace muttered.

Danny wrinkled his nose. He had been distracted by the strange and slightly uncomfortable tension in this room, and the bacon had burned more than he wanted it to.

"Its, uh, it's very nice, thank you. But just because I say I like my eggs a little burnt-" Danny began.

"You get what you get and you dont get upset!"

Both kids spoke in chorus with the same kind of infliction that they had heard hundreds of times throughout their childhood. Danny found himself laughing and nodding in agreement. It healed some pain to hear them echo his own words back at him.  
Steve or no Steve, they were his kids and he was their Danno. Even if one of them did stubbornly ate chocolate sauce on their scrambled eggs just because he said he wouldnt like it. 

That stubbornness, that was pure Williams.

...

It always took longer to get though security to the office when Danny had Eddie with him. That dog was so friendly and cheerful that he always stopped to say hello to everyone, or they came to stay hello to him. But he was also a grown dog - with a badge for that matter - in a secure building where everyone knew who he belonged to. Danny kept walking to his office, leaving Eddie to catch up in his own time.  
Much to the dismay of the fire warden, Danny dragged the fire extinguisher over to the door to use it as a doorstop again. When Eddie was ready he trotted in and laid down on the bed Danny had moved from Steve's old office into his. Danny glanced up from his paperwork to meet his eye.

"Welcome back," he said.

Eddie raised his nose into the air, and then curled up on himself to settle in for the day. He didnt get to relax for long though because his head snapped to attention when he caught a whiff of a friend. His tail was already beginning to strike up a beat when the door opened. Tani practically ran into Danny's office like a kid, pausing in the door to tuck her hair behind her ear and check Eddie was actually there.

She gasped joyfully and cooed, "there's my boy!" 

Danny chuckled affectionately as Tani knelt down and Eddie practically climbed onto her lap. Tani's smile lit up her entire face. The joy shone out through her eyes. Add to that how shiny her silky hair was and how her dimples grew with her smile, and it was easy to see why Junior had had a crush on her in the first place. She was beautiful. Inside and out.  
Junior watched her with a warmth in his heart. The love in his gaze was undeniable. He was leaning in the doorway to the office, because he had the respect drilled into him directing him to wait to be invited in further. Eddie didnt and hurried right over to him when he realised he was nearby. He appreciated the fuss.

"Yknow Steve's gonna be pissed when he sees how much weight Eddie's put on while hes been away," Tani grinned.

"Yeah well hes an old man enjoying his retirement, hes entitled to weight gain," Danny shrugged.

"Don't worry, I'll try and trim some of that back," Junior said. He knelt down and cupped Eddie's face and cooed, "Do you wanna help me train buddy? Huh? Yeah you do."

"Dont listen to them Eddie, you're fine," Danny said.

"Yeah, you're still the most handsome boy on this island!" Tani said.

Danny titled his head. "Should I take offence to that?"

"What, facts?" Tani asked playful, "I wouldnt."

"And I'm sure you're going to help get him fit by slipping him treats when im not looking, right?" Junior said.

Tani flashed him that bright mischievous grin that melted that strong Navy boys knees. It was like sunshine. 

"You betcha!" She grinned.

Danny found himself zoning out staring at his phone as it laid on his desk again. When he didnt react to Junior asking if he had all of Eddie's things or if he needed to pick them up, the others looked over at him. 

"You alright Boss?" Tani asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm..." Danny trailed off.

It didn't pay off to take problems to work. Not in this career anyway. But when you have people around you who actually care about you, they pry. Especially if its something you don't want to talk about. 

"Come on. Talk to us," Tani urged gently.

Danny looked up at the pair standing infront of his desk. He had a good ten years on the two of them. They were far too young to understand the feeling of time slipping through their fingers. Neither of them would understand the fear of your child leaving home. But he also didnt have anyone else to talk to.

"The kids are missing Steve, and I'm too rushed off my feet between work and planning Christmas to talk to them about it," he sighed.

"We're all missing steve," Tani said.

"Yeah but it's not just that. I dont have time for them anymore. More importantly they dont have time for me. Charlie's getting to the age where he doesnt believe in santa anymore so that Christmas tradition's about to die, and Grace is still struggling to decide colleges. I couldnt even go to pick her up from a party because Charlie needed me. If I cant even make sure my daughter is getting home safe, what's the point of me being her father?" Danny sighed again.

"Danny, I dont think kids really worry about that stuff as much as you think," Tani said.

"Yeah, believe me, kids remember the times you were there before they remember when you weren't, and you're there whenever you can be," Junior promised.

While Junior was ernest in his remarks, he was also looking through rose tinted glasses. Things had been going well with his father recently and they were making up for lost time. He was choosing to forget the time they had lost. Tani on the other hand, well she looked up to the others at Five-O for her family. Parents didnt come into it for her.  
As much as Danny appreciated the effort, he wasnt sure they got the point in the way that he wanted them to. But really, he didn't want to drop his troubles on them, so he shrugged it off.

"No offence, but you dont have kids," he said.

"But I do."

Danny's attempt to end the conversation failed since none of them had noticed Lou entering. He pushed his way into the office, pausing to scratch Eddie's head, and looked Danny square in the eye. He always managed to find the right levels of empathy to make his point and make them feel heard.  
It was impressive to witness really. 

"I know what you're going through. They're growing up, and you're growing old. Now you've lost a pillar that held you up too, so its tougher now, But I'm telling you, you're not alone. We're still here for you when you need us. When you lose someone it just... it takes them a while to adjust. But they do. Kids are resilient." 

Danny had nodded along while tapping his fingers against his desk to help him take it in, but now he wrinkled his nose.

"They dont need to be resilient, hes not _dead,_ hes just..." Danny waved a hand as he looked for a word to explain.

"Not around?" Junior offered.

Danny wanted to give him the same sarcastic gripe he usually would, but it was hard to argue with his summery. Instead, Danny dropped his head. 

"Grace's acting like she did when Rach and I split up," he admitted.

Tani and Junior both looked over to Lou for him to offer advice. Both of them knew they were well out of their depths with that one. Lou wasnt sure what to say to console him so he offered a shrug instead. 

"At least theres no yelling this time," was all Tani could come up with.

There was an awkward pause before Junior offered, "At least you know that whenever something important happens you'll be the first person she calls."

Tani managed to bite back a sarcastic remark about Danny being the first port of call for many people when important things happen, being a cop and all. Fortunately the next thing said was Lou changing the subject. 

"Not to belittle your emotions, but set em aside for a while. We got another case."

Danny was relieved to have a new topic to focus on anyway. He sat up in his seat. "Right, lay it on us."


	4. Chapter 4

Mary blinked in surprise when she saw Steve standing on the doorstep. "Where have you been? You were meant to get changed and then come and help me in the kitchen. Dinners already done."

"I know, I'm sorry, but I'll explain later," he promised.

Mary gave him an unimpressed look. While Steve was a man of his word at every opportunity, off the cuff promises like this one tended to slip his mind. She stepped aside to let him back in anyway. 

"Uncle Steve!" Joanie cried when she saw him. 

"Hey there’s my little girl!" Steve beamed.

Joan leapt up and raced over to him. Steve bent down and scooped her up. He grunted as he lifted her up to sit on his hip though. His body was getting grumpy about all the wear and tear he had put it though and now he couldn’t help the little grunts when he moved. 

"How was your playdate?" He asked.

"Good, we made cookies, and I decorated them all by myself!" She beamed.

"You did?! Wow! And you didn’t burn them like mommy?" He whispered.

"Don’t listen to him baby, I don’t burn everything, do I?" Mary said.

Joan just giggled, which made a mischievous light brighten her eyes. She nodded to Steve while Mary wasn’t looking so Steve glanced over his shoulder to make sure she wasn’t looking, and high fived her.

"Be careful of her head Steve, we cant afford to go to A&E right now," Mary warned.

"Don’t worry, Joanie cant even reach the ceiling, can you Joanie?" Steve challenged.

"Yes I can, look!" Joan said.

Joan threw her arms up in the air and the sudden shift of weight made her slip. Steve instantly adjusted to catch her. Her fingertips were just too short to reach. Steve hoisted her a little higher so she could flatten her palm against the ceiling. She laughed in victory when she did.

"Whoa you're getting so big! Where’s my little girl gone?! I remember when I could hide you in a hat like a rabbit!" Steve beamed.

Joan giggled again as Steve let her slide back down his arm again. He set her back down on the ground and patted her head gently.

"Hey, you wanna see what I got you?" He asked.

"What you got her?" Mary repeated, tentatively. 

"Yeah!" Joan beamed.

"You do?! Ok! Let's have a look-see here."

Steve sat down on the floor next to the coffee table so Joan could kneel beside him. He put the bag on the table and pulled a curious face at Joan, as if he didn’t know what was inside.  
What was inside was some coloured card, a couple tubes of glitter, and a bunch of golden foil stickers with dogs printed onto them.

"I heard you like dogs so I thought you might like some dogs to put on the Christmas decorations this year. Is that a good idea?" He said.

"I love puppies! These ones are cute because they're fluffy, but I prefer these ones," Joan pointed from a Yorkshire terrier to a Rottweiler. 

Steve furrowed his brow and tried not to look concerned that the small child liked dogs known for being vicious. 

"These one huh? Whys that?" He asked.

"Because they're bigger!" She beamed. 

"Good choice! the bigger the dog, the more of it to love, right?" Steve grinned back.

Mary bit back a remark about big idiots having less to love. As much as she wanted to tease her brother, it was important not to let Joan see her do it. Steve's mind moved to Eddie. He felt a tug on his heart strings as he did. He missed that dog. He felt sure Eddie missed him too. Of course he'd given him a very important mission before he left, so all he could do was be grateful Eddie was there to do it.

Someone needed to protect the Williams family while he was gone. Who was better for the job than Eddie?

His mind was pulled back to the moment when Mary knelt down on the floor on the opposite side of the table from them.

"Yknow Joanie, when your uncle Steve and I were kids we used to make all the Christmas decorations ourselves," She explained.

"All of them?" Joan repeated in surprise.

"Yep, every last one. Right the way to the star on top of the tree," Steve nodded proudly.

"That one we always made together," Mary smiled.

"Your mom used to cut out the shape with card, and it never looked right," Steve added.

Mary whipped around with a look of utter offence on her face. "What?! I made stars!"

"They never looked like stars, they were just pointy," Steve shrugged.

"They were stars! Stars have points!" Mary argued.

"Stars have five points, all even from each other and the same size-"

"I cant believe this. You really didn’t like my stars?"

"No, I never said I didn’t like them-"

"You don’t?"

"I do! I did! They were really pretty."

"Thank you!"

"They're just not stars."

Steve gave Joan a smirk as she tried to hold in a laugh. Mary pursed her lips and wrinkled her nose in annoyance. Joan reached across the table and put her hand on Mary's forearm.

"I like your stars mommy," she said.

"Thank you sweetie," Mary said.

She pulled a face at Steve that made Joan giggle.

"Well you didn’t see them, they weren't stars," Steve muttered, pointedly.

Mary leaned forward and reached out to cup Joan's head in her hands and kiss the top of her head. As she did she made sure Joan couldn’t see her kick Steve under the table. 

"Ow!" Steve frowned. He wrapped his arms dramatically around his leg like he had been mortally wounded and pouted at Joan. "Did you see that? She hit me! Her own brother!"

"Mommy wouldn’t hit you, don’t be silly uncle Steve!" Joan laughed. 

"Yeah uncle Steve," Mary said, smugly biting into a cookie, "don’t be silly."

Steve scooped up Joan so she sat on his knee. "Joanie, you sit here so she cant hit me again, okay? You're big and strong, you can protect me right?"

"I'll protect you uncle Steve!" Joan giggled.

"I know you will, because you're big and tough," Steve agreed.

"Yeah, look! I’m really strong!"

Joan wriggled off of his lap, leapt to her feet and started showing off her muscles. Steve watched her raise her biceps up level with her ears to show off her strength. Steve lit up.

"Wh-h-hoa, look at that! Wow you're gonna be able to lift me up soon!" He joked.

"Then you can touch the ceiling too!" Joan beamed.

"Yeah? You think you can get me all the way up there? I dunno, its pretty high," Steve said.

"Well when I'm older I'll be taller so I can do it then," Joan said.

"Brilliant point. You're a genius, yknow that kid?" Steve beamed.

Joan let her arms swing to her sides like a monkey and shrugged. She said, very plainly, "Well actually it's a pretty obvious idea uncle Steve, everyone knows you get taller when you grow up."

Mary snorted and sneered, "Yeah Uncle Steve!"

Joan sat back on Steve's knee so he wrapped his arms around her again and said, "Well don’t tell anyone but I'm not as smart as I pretend to be. I don’t have to be because I have very smart people who I work with who make me look smart. But that's a secret ok? Don’t tell anyone." 

Joan tilted her head back against his chest and looked up at his chin to say, "I wont tell anyone you're stupid uncle Steve."

Steve had walked into that one like a fool into a glass door and he couldn’t back out now so he just nodded.

"Thank you, I appreciate it," he said.

Mary picked up a piece of card and turned it over in her hand.

"Who's gonna make the star this year?" she asked.

Steve glanced at his watch again. He was keeping track of the time in his mind anyway and didn’t really need to, but double checking was always important. 

"I'll cut it out so it actually looks like a star-" he began.

"I can make a star!" Mary argued defensively. 

"Joanie, who do you think-"

"Mom."

Steve's jaw dropped to argue but couldn’t. Mary took the scissors smugly. She started cutting out a shape. To Steve it wasn’t a star. It was a long and pointed interrobang kind of shape, with spindly points rather than a short chunky starfish type shape that he would have gone for. Mary set it in front of Steve with a smug look. Steve suddenly realised why Danny always looked at him like that. Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should.

"Its very nice," he lied.

"Its not sparkly enough!" Joan argued.

"That's alright sweetie, we're going to decorate it now," he said.

"Together," Mary added.

After around an hour and a half of crafting, they had a nice little collection of decorations to hang on the tree, as well as the star. Whether they'd admit it or not, each of them had a personal favourite. Steve had made one which had a printed photo of Eddie in a Santa hat (which Charlie had put on him and Danny sent him a photo of because it was cute) that he had glued a green and red striped pipe cleaner around the edge to frame it. Mary had scrunched up a piece of foil into a ball and added a couple of additional foil sweet wrappers to decorate it. Joan's was the star.   
the Christmas lights bounced off the yellow card to give it a soft glow, and they had lined small dots of glue along the legs which were now covered in silver glitter that sparkled brightly. She had drawn orange circles around the circles of glitter to make them stand out even more. They looked a little like targets now, but she adored it.   
Mary nudged Steve to draw his attention to Joan. The utter admiration for the star she adored lit up her entire face. Completely wonderstruck. Steve smiled affectionately and reached out to lay an arm around Mary's shoulders. She rested her head on his shoulder.  
For a splendid, magical, quiet moment, they were a normal, happy family, together for Christmas. 

"Right, come on you, time for bed," Mary said.

"Oh but mom!" Joan whined.

"Hey, don’t but mom her this close to Christmas Joanie, we both know he knows when you're awake," Steve said.

"That's right. Give uncle Steve a hug and let's go," Mary said.

Steve squatted low so Joan could wrap her arms around his neck to cuddle him tight. When he hugged her back he was careful not to be too strong so he didn’t accidentally hurt her. Steve was always so worried about hurting her because she was so small she seemed so fragile. This totally ignored the fact that he had watched her fall from the monkey bars four times unscathed before he finally set her on his shoulders and helped her across. She was tougher than he thought. 

Mary then took her off to bed to tell her a story before she went to sleep. Steve waited by the door listening in to her for a while.  
Mary had matured a lot in recent years. Ever since she had opened up to Steve about feeling abandoned and gone back to LA alone, she had come into her own. Working in care had really given her a chance to be grow up and Joan had given her a sense of responsibility. When he thought back to that day in Hawaii when a baby carriage had been left on his doorstep, he always thought of that conversation with Danny.

" _Mary didn't adopt a kid, you did, and it's only a matter of time before you will have to look after her_."

That was a long time ago now. They were different people back then. That version of him wouldnt even have recognised Mary now. Steve smiled affectionately. Pride filled his heart to see the woman she had grown into, and at the same time, he couldn’t wait to see who Joan became.   
Steve's watch beeped a warning, so he slipped back towards the spare room to pack. As he did, Mary wandered over to lean in the doorway and watch him. Had any outsiders witnessed interactions between the McGarretts they would had wondered why they spent so much time watching each other from a distance rather than joining in together. Maybe sometimes they just needed to step back and actually see the people that they loved were there for them. 

It wasnt exactly something they were used to.

"I wish I had recorded you calling yourself stupid earlier. I could have sent it to Danny for Christmas. He would have loved it," Mary said softly.

Steve chuckled and nodded as he folded his trousers. "He would have, it would have made his year. Fortunately you didn’t."

"He would have made it his ringtone," Mary chuckled. 

"He doesn’t know how to do that, he’s an old man," Steve said.

"You both are," Mary pointed out.

"Hey!" Steve said. He whipped a jacket into the air towards her playfully so she laughed, "Watch it, you're not that far behind."

"I'm feeling every minute of it too but I'm allowed to, I have kids. Well, kid," Mary let out a huge puff of air as she muttered, "Danny must be exhausted... will you send him my love when you see him?"

Steve shrugged. "Probably not."

"Steve!" Mary complained.

"I’m kidding, of course I will. Of course," Steve smirked.

"I’m gonna finish cleaning up and then I’m gonna try and wash the glitter out of my hair. Thank you very much for all of it by the way."

"You're welcome."

Steve gave her a smug grin, raising his chin as he did. Mary raised an eyebrow at him, unimpressed. 

"Come on, every kid needs glitter at Christmas," steve said.

"But not every mom," Mary said.

"You love it really," Steve said.

"I love you too, doesn't stop you being irritating."

Steve chuckled affectionately as Mary slipped away. He could hear her humming in the other room as she hunted for the dustpan and brush. For a short time Steve was left alone to pack in peace. Then he heard a quiet creak of the door.

"Uncle Steve?"

Joan's voice was quiet but attention grabbing. He looked up in surprise. He had to crane his neck to see her in the doorway. 

"I thought you were in bed," he said softly. 

Joan pressed a finger to her lip. "Shhh, don't tell mommy."

Steve smirked. He waved her in. Joan crept in as quickly and quietly as she could so her mom didn’t catch her. Joan climbed onto his bed to sit and watch him. He continued to pack around her.

"What are you doing up?" Steve asked.

Joan wrinkled her nose. Quietly, she asked, "Do you have to go?"

Steve glanced up at her tentatively. "If I don’t go my friend will be very upset. Then I'll feel bad. He needs me."

"But you don’t _have_ to go. You could stay here with us, cant you?" Joan said.

Steve folded his shirt slowly as he watched her. Steve set his shirt in his case and knelt down to her level, resting a hand on her knee.

"Let me tell you something Joanie. You never, ever, ever have to do anything that you're told to. Truly, you don’t. It's your choice what you do. But everything you do has consequences, and some consequences are a lot worse than others. Dyou understand so far?"

Joan's bowed her head sadly but she nodded.

"Good. So, I have a choice. I can stay here with you and Mary, and Danny will be upset and I'll be sad because he’s upset, or I can go and help him and he'll be happy and I'll be happy because he’s happy. But I promise, I _promise_ I'll come back soon," Steve urged.

Joan kept her head bowed as she glanced up at him. They were brimming with tears now as she blinked.  
"You promise you'll be happy?" 

The simple question knocked the wind from his sails. His mouth fell open as he reeled back in surprise and confusion.

All he could muster in response was, "What?"

"You're always so sad Uncle Steve. You looked so sad on the balcony," Joan said quietly. 

Steve frowned and tilted his head to the side. "You think I’m sad?"

"Only when you think you're alone. When I feel sad and alone, Mommy cheers me up. You should stay so me and mommy can cheer you up together," Joan urged. When Steve didn’t answer right away she bowed her head and added, "no one should be lonely at Christmas."

The mark of a good detective is being able to read the most subtle changes in micro expressions or body language and pick up on how the perps were thinking. Years of honing these skills had helped Steve catch terrorists, murderers, bank robbers, and dozens of criminals in-between. He didn’t need these skills like that for Joan though because her thoughts were written on her face. That kid's eyes were full of honest concern and compassion for her uncle.  
She was worried about him.   
She melted his heart.   
His hands moved from her knees to her hands, wrapping his around hers gently but firmly.

"Joanie... Joanie I am happy. You make me happy. I look sad because I'm a grown up. Our faces get saggy when were old- look-"

Steve pulled at his cheeks to try and make his face take on silly expressions to make her giggle. She covered her mouth with both of her hands to stop herself from being too loud and drawing Marys attention. Finally Steve stopped and gave her a warm smile again. 

"I promise you sweetie, I promise, you don’t need to worry about me, alright?" He said.

Joan nodded for a second, and the sat upright as an idea spark in her head. She lit up excitedly. "Ooh! Wait here!"

Joan pushed Steve away so she could slide off the bed and hurry out into the hallway. While she was gone Steve took the opportunity to pack a few more items into his bag and Mary pretended not to notice the ninja sneaking through their kitchen. When Joan came back to Steve she was holding something behind her back. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"What's this?"

"For you!"

She held both of her hands out to show him what she had been holding. It was one of the cookies she had decorated while on her playdate. One she hadn't even been willing to share with Santa. Steve's palm covered his heart, earnestly. 

"You're giving me one of your cookies?" He asked, touched.

"Mommy says it's always good to bring a snack. I want you to have one," Joan explained.

Steve took the cookie in one hand, and hugged her with the other.

"Thank you honey, this is my favourite Christmas present so far," he said. 

It was smothered in pale blue icing which had caused the other decorations to slide about, but since drying, they were all locked into place. Small metal coloured sugar ball barings were dotted across it, making it look like one of those desk toys where you had to get balls in holes. It also had a single strawberry lace in a spiral from the edge to the centre that added to the effect. Although the hundreds and thousands seemed out of place. Steve admired it by holding it up like a medal he had been given, and moving it to watch the light move over its surface.   
Suddenly he remembered how late it was getting, and how young the child on his lap was. She needed her rest.

"Come on now, let's get you back to bed before mom realises you’re not there," he said.

Steve took her back to her room and tucked her in again. He ran a hand over her hair and kissed her forehead.

"Goodnight honey," he whispered.

"Goodnight uncle Steve," she whispered back.

They say it's not the present that matters, its who gives it to you. Steve had never been one to spurn a gift, even when he wasn’t particularly thrilled by it. But this cookie, as ugly and sickly as it looked, had shot it's way into one of the best presents Steve had ever been given. He snapped a picture of it on his phone, just to make sure he remembered it.  
Sure, anyone who found that photo and didn’t know the context would tease him for it, but at the moment he really didn’t care. He had never been so grateful for something so simple.   
Which made it that much harder to wave goodbye to Mary as his taxi pulled away from the curb. He just had to console himself with the fact that there were two presents already waiting for them under their tree, ready for the big day.

One of them even had a tail...


	5. Chapter 5

It was far too early to feel cheerful. Even as the lights twinkled along the roadside, leading them down towards the airport, it was hard to find any merriment packed into the back of Jerry's car. Charlie was still laying against the window, mostly asleep. Grace grumbled about the way the suitcases bashed against the back of her seat. Danny sighed and rolled his head towards Jerry.

"Thanks for this Jerry. I appreciate it, it's early after all," He said quietly.

"Oh don’t worry, you know me Danny, I don't sleep much anyway," Jerry said.

Danny blinked at him slowly. "Jerry you had a cot in Steve's office."

"Only when he wasn’t around. I had nowhere else to stay!" Jerry argued defensively. 

Danny opened his mouth to argue, and then he remembered the favour that Jerry was doing him. Everyone else was busy (or Lou, who told him he was too old for that crap, just hire a cab like a grown up) so he shouldn’t bite the hand that drives. 

"I know, I know, sorry," Danny said.

"I've been doing a lot of late nights recently, what with writing and rewriting and editing and, oh I called Chin the other day," Jerry said.

Danny's eyebrows rose. "Chin Ho Kelly? How’s he holding up?"

"He's good. He's engaged," Jerry smiled.

"What?! And he didn’t tell me?!" Danny couldn’t help smiling.

"He hadn’t asked Abby yet. He’s taking her to Paris with Sara and they're going to propose out there. I say engaged, I'm assuming she'll say yes," Jerry said.

"Took 'em long enough, they’ve been dating forever," Danny chuckled.

"So have Tani and Junior and they only got engaged a couple months ago," Jerry pointed out. 

Danny nodded along with him, chuckling to himself at how easily his friends had managed to fall in love through work. For some reason that resonated with him. 

"I cant wait for the invites. And to see everyone again. I haven’t seen Kono in so long I'm forgetting what she looks like," Jerry joked.

Danny snorted in the same kind of tired amusement saved for bored mornings like this. Jerry drove up to the arrivals area and helped to haul the luggage out of the trunk while Danny reached into the back to scoop up Charlie. He steadied Charlie on his feet but the boy was so tired he staggered like a zombie so he stayed close to support him incase he fell. 

"Thanks again Jerry. We'll see you soon," Danny said.

Jerry ruffled Charlie's hair affectionately. "Have fun guys. Merry Christmas," he said.

Grace took the handle of her wheeled suitcase and waved, "Mahalo uncle Jerry."

Danny waved too as he ushered Grace and Charlie inside towards the check in. Jerry watched them go, waving even though they weren’t looking anymore. He smiled to himself as he got back in the car to leave. He always enjoyed helping his ohana, even in small ways like this. Not to mention that it wouldn’t hurt to remind them how much help he was when they read his book. McGarrett had signed off on the story without even reading it but Danny was less agreeable, and he still hadn't agreed to sign off yet.  
And he was getting less agreeable by the minute in the airport as well. 

"Have you packed your baggage yourself?" The desk clerk asked warmly. 

"Yes, yes I did," Danny said.

He was leaning heavily on the counter to try and prop himself up. Charlie on the other hand, stood on his tiptoes to peer over the counter.

"I helped," he said.

She flashed him a smile. "Did you? That's nice."

"I helped on these two. Grace did that one alone," Charlie explained, gesturing to the suitcases.

Danny interrupted to reiterate, "But we packed them ourselves, yes."

"Excellent," she said, and typed this into the computer. "Has anyone asked you to carry anything on board for them?"

"Does anyone ever fall for that question?" Danny asked with a sigh.

She held her smile firmly. "It still needs to be answered sir."

"Danno's a police officer," Charlie said proudly. 

"Is he really?" The desk clerk eyed Danny pointedly. 

Danny tried hard to make sure Charlie didn’t see him roll his eyes. The kid was excited at all the new experiences and he was only trying to help. Charlie didn’t see, but he did bounce on his feet happily.

"Yep!" He declared.

"Then he knows how important these question are to be answered honestly," she said, pointedly.

Charlie nodded, "Danno asks lots of questions, he calls it interrogation-"

Danny turned his head to Charlie and said, quietly, "Hey buddy? Not now ok? Just let me deal with this for a minute."

Charlie looked surprised, but nodded. He dropped back down to his flat feet and raised his chin to still see over the counter. 

"Are we done yet?" He asked, slightly impatiently. 

"Sir, as an officer of the law you must be aware that while people don’t usually fall for these questions, I am still required to ask them," the desk clerk explained calmly.

Danny could not argue with that, no matter how tired he was, so nodded. "Ok, sure, carry on."

"Has anyone asked you to carry anything on board for them?"

"No."

_"_ O- _kay!"_

Danny forced a smile not dissimilar to her own. The same tired and impatient smile that anyone in customer service roles had ready to pin on at any time. As much as he was used to the irritation of people, that painfully fake cheer of a customer service voice always grated. 

"Have you left your bags unattended at any time?" 

"No-"

"Yep," Charlie interrupted again. 

Danny had tried on previous occasions to explain to his son that, as important as it was to always behave yourself and be honest about security issues so you were safe, sometimes if you kept your mouth shut about things that technically should be mentioned but legally don’t have to, things go faster. That was hard enough to explain, and unfortunately for Danny, Rachel had recently explained to him how important it was to always, always, _always_ be honest. This was just another one of those times that separate parenting clashed.

"Which is it, _sir?"_ The desk clerk asked, failing to hide her own impatience.

"No, they’ve always been attended," Danny said firmly.

"But Danno when you went to the bathroom-" Charlie began, anxiously.

"At home doesn’t count buddy. Besides, Grace and Jerry were dealing with them, they weren’t unattended," Danny assured him.

"Oh," Charlie said.

The concern in his voice was clear for both of them to hear so Danny instinctively reached out to pat his shoulder without looking. The desk clerk's shoulders eased slightly as Charlie ducked beneath the counter. 

She dropped her customer service voice to assure Danny quietly, "Don’t worry, you're doing great."

Grace raised an eyebrow behind her sunglasses. Not so very long ago that would have been his opportunity to flirt. It had been a long time since she had seen her father nonchalantly flirt with anyone who was being that nice to him. At first it was a blessing, she cringed to think of the amount of barmen she had seen slip him a phone number only to get arrested later, not to mention how many waitresses had just laughed politely and rolled their eyes as they left. Now though, it had been so long since he even tried flirting with anyone, it was like he’d just given up.  
Grace hated seeing him lonely. 

Danny had no idea what the clerk had meant by that, but took her smile as a chance to ask, "Any chance we can skip the details and just understand that since I work for Five-O, I don’t pose a threat to the safety of the plane?"

At the back of Danny's mind, memories of air travel since joining Five-O bubbled up. Although technically that double agent spy being kidnapped from a plane wasn’t Five-O's fault, Steve's daredevil stunts and Danny losing part of his liver, _that_ was Five-O. Maybe Danny didn’t pose an active threat, but he couldn’t deny that being an officer drew danger to him as much as Steve did. Besides Danny was pretty much just a desk jockey now, the action was kept away from him.  
These thoughts were best swallowed down and kept away from the desk clerks ears.

"When did you pack it and where was it packed, _officer?"_ She asked, firmly.

"Technically we finished packing it this morning, at my house," Danny said. 

"It used to be Uncle Steve's house, but we moved it after he left," Charlie explained as he appeared again.

Despite the way Charlie kept popping up to interrupt and tell her his life story, the desk clerk didn't seem to be impatient with Charlie. Not like she was with Danny anyway. In fact the desk clerk smiled at him. It was nice to see a happy child at this time of the morning. That was rarer than you'd think.

"Do you feel safe at uncle Steve's house?" She asked.

"Yep," Charlie nodded brightly, "We've got a big dog who barks if anyone comes near the house, and Uncle Steve will shoot-"

Danny straightened up sharply and cut him off by explaining, "Uncle Steve is also Five-O. Was. He’s not here, it's not important - can we hurry this up please? Gracie, entertain your brother."

Danny ushered Charlie towards Grace with one hand on his back. Grace reached a hand out to guide Charlie towards her and away from the check in desk. Charlie gave her a worried look, so she placed her sunglasses on his face to make him smile. Danny rubbed his brow in quiet frustration. 

"He seems like a sweet kid," she said warmly.

Danny leaned on the counter again and nodded slowly. "He is when he’s not trying to get me in trouble."

The desk clerk lowered her voice again but her smile was inescapable as she patted his arm gently. "I told you, you're doing great. I've seen a lot of single dads coming through here, most are tearing out their hair before I ask the first question."

Danny's stomach lurched by he forced a smile again. "Thanks, how many more questions are there?"

"It'll be quick. Has your bag been with you and in your sight since you packed it?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Does it contain any prohibited or dangerous articles?"

As naked as Danny felt without his gun, he had faith in the air marshals abilities, and he knew exactly where the gunsafe was in his parents house so he didn’t need it. "No."

"Are you carrying anything for anyone else?"

"Only Christmas presents."

"Cute. Has anyone given you anything to carry for them on this flight?"

"No ma'am."

"Excellent. See, I told you it would be quick. If you just want to set your luggage on there-" as the desk clerk glances towards Charlie and Grace something caught her eye. "um, does her hand luggage fit in the box there?"

Danny glanced over at Grace. She was still holding onto her in flight bag. It was the only one they were taking on board and it had the entertainment and snacks for all three of them. And it did not quite fit in the sizing box.

"Yes, don’t worry, we checked, it does," Danny lied.

"Would you mind just checking again for me please?" The desk clerk asked.

"But we already did. It fits," he insisted.

"Please sir," She said, firmly.

"Fine." Danny heaved a sigh as he said, "Grace pass me your bag."

"We already checked my bag," Grace said.

Grace was not lying. She and Charlie had been testing how the bag fit in their test box to entertain themselves. It always spilled over the edge, just slightly. They were sure it wasn't enough to be concerned. 

"I know, and now were checking again so the nice lady can see," Danny assured.

He adjusted Charlie so he hid the edge of the box from view, and set the bag in it. Where it spilled over the edge was masked by Charlie, and now it fit. He turned to the desk clerk.

"see? Fits snugly, but it fits."

_"_ O _-kay,_ so just these suitcases then?" She asked, cheerfully again.

Grace bit back a smirk. She liked bending rules. Especially when her father was involved. That way she knew she wouldn't have to explain herself to him, which took away half of the fear.

"Mahalo," Danny said as he returned to the desk.

Grace flashed Danny a smile as they finally walked away from the check in desk. As irritating and repetitive as it had been, they both knew why it was so important. Danny still remembered Grace's namesake every time they went through airport security. It haunted his memory. Seeing his daughter's smile reminded him what he was protecting. 

"What are you smiling at?" He asked.

He had not expected an answer, and the one he got took him by surprise. 

"She was totally flirting with you!"

"Are you kidding me?"

"She was smiling at you and playing along with Charlie, and she was being flirty!" Grace grinned.

"She was just doing her job," Danny said, plainly.

"She rushed the questions so you could get through security faster," Grace argued.

Danny stared at Grace for a moment, bewildered. If he hadn’t known any better be would have suspected that his own daughter was trying to wingman him. As if he was that pathetic he couldn’t do it alone.

"We need to get you a job serving your community and the general public. You'll learn quick enough why its important to keep your manners at all times."

Before Grace could argue again, Charlie had noticed something that he couldn’t help voicing.

"Why doesn't that man have shoes on?"

Danny and Grace both looked up to see where he was looking. They had joined the small line waiting to pass through the metal detectors and a gentleman on the other side had sat down to put his shoes back on.

"There’s a bit more security to go through here so they’re checking his shoes," Danny explained.

"For what? Weapons?" Charlie asked.

"What kind of weapons would you hide in your shoe?" Grace asked sarcastically. 

"Knives. You could probably fit a grenade in too if you tried," Charlie answered without pause.

Danny frowned at both of them. This was definitely McGarrett's fault.

"Hey, don’t think like that, you don’t need to hide weapons because you don’t need weapons. Don't be stupid and you'll be safe," he said firmly.

"Not always," Grace muttered to herself.

"This is not the place for this conversation, alright? Alright?" Danny said firmly.

"Fine," Grace huffed.

"Do I have to take my shoes off?" Charlie asked.

"No it's ok, just put everything in your pockets into this tray, ok?" Danny said.

Danny pushed a tray towards him so he could empty his pockets. They chose not to question why he was travelling with a stone in his pocket. They did, however, question Danny about why the alarm went off when he passed through. He had been expecting it. Part of him was convinced that someone set them off to mess with him because they always seemed to go off when he passed through.   
While Danny was being patted down, one of the security officers made small talk with Charlie and Grace. 

"Excited for Christmas?" She asked warmly.

"Yeah," Charlie beamed.

Grace just shrugged. Christmas had stopped feeling like Christmas years ago. That excitement never quite managed to find it's way back to her.

"What did you ask Santa for this year?" The guard continued asking Charlie.

"Nothing," Charlie said.

That caught Danny's attention. He remembered hunting down a stamp for the letter and taking Charlie to the post office to send it himself. He had been assuming Rachel had a copy of the list given that she had been texting him what Charlie wanted for weeks now.

"Nothing? Why not?" The guard asked curiously.   
Charlie kind of sank into himself at the question and shifted uncertainly. "I'm not so sure Santa's real..."

"Wh- um, excuse me, what now?"

Danny felt a bubble of alarm in his chest. He had been on the phone to Vito as he dug through their attic searching for their old Santa costume for hours just for this. Of course Danny had suspecting this was coming, but he was just hoping for one last year.

"I'm just not sure Santa exists," Charlie repeated again, cautiously. 

"W- why not? You were saying just the other day how excited you are to see Santa, did you - Grace did you say something to him?" Danny asked.

Grace had the same expression of surprise and offence at the accusation that Steve usually assumed before an argument ensued. Fortunately Grace didn’t have time to respond before Charlie did.

"It wasn’t Grace... Kaleano from my class says that she didn’t write a letter last year and she still got presents. I think, maybe, someone else got them for her. Because how would Santa know otherwise? And how comes we never see reindeer?"

"Well that's because Santa comes when you're sleeping so that reindeer don’t wake you up," Danny lied.

"Sir, you can leave the area now," the guards interrupted.

Danny took his bags and waved a thank you over his shoulder as he ushered the kids through into the airport. As they went Charlie continued to explain to Danny why he didn’t think Santa could fly around the world visiting every house in one night every year. 

"Especially with all those cookies he eats! He'd show up on every radar! Planes have been shot down for less!" Charlie insisted. 

"Ok we really need to talk about what you're watching when we're not around because I'm not so sure its appropriate-" Danny began.

"Usually it's the news," Grace pointed out, "and youre usually front and centre."

"Not now Gracie," Danny said briskly before turning back to Charlie.

Grace rolled her eyes and slumped down into the seat she had claimed for her own. This was a situation she had found herself facing more and more recently and every time it bugged her more. 

"Reindeer are noisy. Uncle Kamekona had three and they were so loud! If they were on our roof we would hear them!" Charlie insisted. 

That was true. Kamekona's publicity stunt was to teather reindeer outside the shrimp truck and charge people to take photos with them. They had drawn in a crowd, but the noise and the smell had put people off of sitting down and eating around them. 

"Yes, ok, regular reindeer are noisy but what you’re forgetting is that Santa’s reindeer are covered in Santa's magically glittery elf dust or whatever, which makes them super quiet, ok? It makes then really light, so they don’t make noise when they walk," Danny lied.

"Then why don’t we see them on the neighbours roof?" Charlie challenged 

"Yeah Danno. Why don’t we see them on the neighbours roof?" Grace grinned.

"Because... well its because... what, like I got all the answers?! You think I work in Santa’s workshop, no I work for the police. I'm not worthy of all of Santa’s magical secrets. Maybe you should ask him if you see him this year," Danny said.

"Smooth," Grace mouthed. Danny poked a tongue out at her. It was a very mature and grown up argument. 

"No. If I see Santa this year, I wanna go and see the reindeer myself," Charlie declared. 

"Excuse me?" Danny blinked.

"I want to see the reindeer! I want to see the elf dust! Can we Danno, can we?!" Charlie gasped eagerly.

Danny was lost for an answer so he followed from Steve's plans and said the first thing that came to his mind.

"If you see Santa this year and run away he might leave with the reindeer before you see them. You don’t wanna risk that."

"Well we could set up a stake out! Like uncle Jerry always says, if you're watching close enough you cant miss a thing!" Charlie insisted.

"Does he always say that? Hess a very helpful man, uncle Jerry," Danny said plainly. 

Grace hid a smirk, but said, "If you're out on a stakeout Santa wont come at all because he only visits while you're sleeping."

"Yes, yes, that's a very good point, thank you Grace," Danny nodded. 

"Then... then will you help?" Charlie looked up at Grace.

Grace tilted her head at him politely as a smirk grew across Danny's face. That would wipe the smug attitude off her face.

"Come again?" She said politely. 

"Will you help? Please Grace?! You can take photos of the reindeer while I distract Santa! That way we know that he's the real deal," Charlie urged.

"Of course I'll go outside in the street in the middle of the night and take a photo of the reindeer on the roof," Grace said sarcastically. 

Charlie tilted his head at her. Sarcasm tended to go straight over his head.

Charlie frowned. "You don’t sound excited."

"No, no, I'm really excited," she lied.

"Be nice," Danny warned quietly. She looked back down at her phone. Danny shuffled closer to Charlie. "listen buddy, we'll both help you, but maybe we should keep this under wraps. A secret stake out, like undercover cops. Just us three, right? All three of us will keep this idea between us, promise?"

"Yeah!" Charlie beamed.

Danny glanced back at Grace to check that she was willing to agree to the promise too. Grace had her headphones in again though and was ignoring him. Danny took the opportunity to double check the flight times and gate number on the display board. He was talking to himself in the same way he usually went over plans on the intercom, and he looked back at Grace when she ignored his rhetorical question.

"Grace? Gracie? Grace? Hey, come on, hey!"

He waved a hand over her phone screen. She rolled her eyes heavily, groaned, and pulled one headphone out.

"What?" She asked. 

He frowned at her attitude. "I'm trying to talk to you and you’ve just got your headphones in! Talk to me Grace."

Grace shrugged her shoulders. "About what?"

"Is something bothering you?" He asked.

"Can't it wait until after Christmas?" She sighed impatiently.

"Not if it's something important," he said firmly.

"It's not," she lied.

"Then what is it?" He asked.

"It's nothing," she lied sharper.

"Ok," Danny shuffled in his seat to face her properly. "what's wrong with you? Come on, talk to me."

"I'm fine," she shrugged.

"I am the greatest detective on this island and I have known you for eighteen years. I don’t need to my badge see the way that you’ve been behaving," he said firmly.

She frowned and repeated, The way I've been behaving?"

"Yes, honey, it's simple. You're trying to get me to flirt with women, you go out a lot and when you're home you’re quiet, you haven’t picked a college yet-"

"I haven’t had time to think about it!"

"You deferred a year, you've had nothing but time to think!"

"I can't think in my head!" She argued stubbornly, "I have to talk about things! Mom and you have been to busy to help me think so who else can I talk to about it? Should I call Stan?!”

Danny hadn’t thought about Stan in what felt like years, but that cold sick disgust in his gut was still as fresh as the first time he felt it. The day that he had dropped off Grace at Rachel's and Grace had grinned to see Stan there. She barely waited for the car to stop before leaping out to throw her arms around him. It curled his stomach to even consider the idea he could be replaced. 

Danny edged closer to her. He tilted his head and dropped his tone as he promised, "I'm never too busy to talk to you."

It took all she had to stop herself from scoffing in his face. When she thought back to how she would be ushered up to her room so he and her mother could argue when she was a kid, or playing in the sea with Steve because Danny was ranting at Rachel on the phone, or how she would have to wait in the car while he spoke to someone who had a gun on their belt, or being sent to play poker with Kamekona when she was terrified of the tsunami – Grace didn’t hold it against him, but Danny was a very busy man. He had responsibilities. She was proud of most of the things he had done, but he had to leave her behind to do them.  
Although they were both here now. They both had plenty of time to waste until their plane came in. Grace kept her gaze firmly away from Danny, staring ahead of her or into her lap to avoid his concerned look.

"It's not your fault Danno. You've been busy. Your work is important. I get it, sometimes you have to go places and you can't be with us, and me and Charlie are ok. we've been sticking together. And he really does haves some interesting opinions on what's important to look for in colleges," she explained. 

"Hold on, you've been asking an eight year old his opinions on college?" He said.

"I don’t want to put it all on Charlie, but sometimes I need to hear other opinions and Eddie doesn’t make very compelling arguments," she shrugged.

"Eddie doesn’t- the dog doesn't - alright, ok, look. At some point soon- _soon,_ you and I are going to take some time to sit down together and talk about colleges ok?"

Grace turned her head to eye him up and down. "You mean it?"

"Of course I mean it! Come on Gracie I will always make time for you, you're my little girl. I love you," Danny insisted. 

She looked back down at her lap and nodded, "I know."

Danny raised his brow, waiting for her to continue. When she didn’t he pressed her.

"You know?"

"Please don't make me say it," she whined.

"Um, excuse me but you are my daughter okay? I am your father. I don’t have to make you say anything, but I will complain if you don’t," he said, pointedly.

She felt his hand flapping around where his arm was leaning along the headrest of her seat as he spoke. She pursed her lips and tapped her toes against each other. Danny's expression changed repeatedly as he waited for her to say it.

"Its a long way to Jersey," he warned.

"I love you too," she muttered quickly.

Danny grinned. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and squeezed her into a tight hug, pressing a kiss into her hair as he did.

"That's my girl," he teased.

Grace groaned and wriggled to get away from him. He chuckled to himself as she did. The way she slipped back down lower into her chair so no one could see her amused him recently. As heart-breaking as has been to realise his daughter was embarrassed to be out with him at first, he had found himself laughing at it more recently. Teenagers were teenagers, but he still had Charlie. He could embarrass both of them when him grew up.  
As Danny looked back up at the display board to check yet again if the boarding numbers had come up, something caught on his thoughts. He frowned. Grace had gone back to her phone so he had to nudge her again.

"Hey, what has that got to do with flirting?" He asked.

Grace's cheeks flushed. "I don’t want to talk about this."

"You brought it up," he pointed out.

"I was just teasing you," she hissed to try and get him to back off.

"Teasing me?" He repeated.

"Charlie's wandering off again," Grace warned. 

She nodded towards one of the stores across the airport from them. Danny wouldn’t allow himself to be distracted. Grace took it ok herself to track her brothers movements with her eyes.

"Hey, don’t - hey! Don’t try and avoid the question. Talk to me," he urged.

Grace tried to hide behind her hair as a curtain but Danny gently brushed it out of her face and tucked it behind her ear again. He waited patiently for her to open up. She did so with a groan, staring hard at the floor.

"You haven't been out on a date since, what, Melissa?! Now Steve's gone too. You don't flirt with people anymore either. Maybe you should. I don’t want you to be lonely," she said quietly.

Danny's heart thudded. "I'm not lonely, why would you think I'm lonely?"

Grace raised her head to give him a sneering look that said everything. Danny couldn’t help averting his gaze, but he stopped himself from biting his lip. He'd been trained not to give anything away in interrogation, and that training took hold instinctively. Unfortunately for him, Grace knew that when he tensed up like that, he was still listening.

"Danno, we haven’t been away from home for Christmas since we moved to Oahu. Now, suddenly, we're leaving Hawaii all together to go back to Jersey and spend Christmas with people who very rarely come to visit us at all. It's ok, I get it, you haven’t had a Christmas without uncle Steve for ten years, even with me and Charlie with you it's an empty house and you’re lonely. But I'm leaving soon Danno. I don’t want you to be lonely when I do."

There was a long pause as Danny took a long breath and tried to think of what to say. She was growing up. She was understanding things without them being said. He was forgetting how to say things, and how to hide them.

"I know I'm meant to say something here, but... I don’t know what," he admitted.

"Its ok, I've known for a long time that parents don’t have an answer for everything. At some point you have to stop asking," Grace shrugged.

That did not assure Danny in any way. Parents were supposed to have all the answers. They were meant to know everything, even when their children grew up and the questions got harder. He felt like he was letting her down.

"Um, Danno?" She said, interrupting his thoughts. 

"Yeah monkey?" He said quietly.

"Where’s Charlie?" she asked.

"He’s right here- wha - Charlie?! Charlie?!"

Any and all thoughts stopped when he realised the only thing on Charlie's chair was his bag. Danny whipped around urgently as he leapt up to his feet searching for him. Endless swathes of holiday makers moved through the airport around him, making it harder to see anyone small through the crowds.

His heart beat so fast that it stopped. All of this crashed into his chest at once. Every time Grace went missing it was because of outside sources. People who wanted revenge. People who put her in danger because of his job, but could be defended from.   
But this?  
This was all on him.   
He had taken his eye off the ball. He had stopped keeping track of his own kid. Worst of all, Grace had warned him-  
 _Grace_ had warned him. 

"Grace, which way did he go?!" 

"He went that way but I didn’t see where."

Danny knelt down to follow the path of where Grace was pointing. From this angle he could see one thing clearer than anything else. One thing that always got Charlie's attention. Chocolate. 

"Stay here. I mean it, do not move," Danny said firmly.

"I know the drill," Grace saluted. 

Danny walked through the airport with his entire focus on the store. He marched with such focus that it caught the attention of the security guards. They kept a stern eye on him, fingering their guns as they did. 

"Charlie?! You in here!" Danny called as he walked over the threshold.

His voice was a little louder than necessary, which caught Charlie's instant attention. Almost as soon as he walked in Charlie appeared from behind a pillar with armfuls of chocolate. Suddenly Danny could breath again. 

"There you are! You can't wander off like that buddy, not here," Danny sighed with relief.

He wrapped his arms around his son and took a moment to appreciate that he was safe. Even if he hadn’t definately been five seconds earlier. Danny swallowed back the guilt and peeled Charlie away from him to hold him at arms length.

"Come on, put the chocolate back. I've got snacks in the hand luggage," he said.

"But-"

"No, no- no. We've got snacks already, and you need to come back to Grace with me, and stay where I can see you."

"But-"

"why are you arguing, I already said no."

Charlie's shoulders sagged but he slunk back to Grace with Danny. When the security officers noted he had gone back to where they had started, they eased their watch. Danny sat Charlie down and walked to the departures board to check the times again.

Grace rolled her head towards Charlie but didn’t look at him. "Good try bro."

...

Danny came back quick march and gathered the bags up. Half of the snacks were already gone, and Grace had sent Charlie to fetch more. Their mother would not be pleased when she found out they used her emergency credit card for snacks, but that was a problem for the new year. Danny gathered the children as he gathered the bags when the gate details changed. He was ratty and impatient to get them on the plane.

"Come on. Get up, let's go. Gate eight awaits, come on," he usher.

When they finally reached the boarding desk, there was a large glass window out to the runway that they could watch the planes take off through. For a while at least, both of Danny's kids were quietly focused on the same thing. That was enough to settle some of his concerns. 

Grace gasped in wonder as the plane they were watching left the ground at rocket speeds. She had seen it before (she had even seen Steve being the pilot in charge of take off) but she was still awed bt it. Charlie on the other hand was quiet as he watched the planes taking off down the runway. He also appeared to be frozen to the spot, watching each plane before theirs taxi-ing out onto the tarmac. The line was taking so long that he was sitting next to the window, letting Grace and Danny edge further away from him, waiting for them to call him over. When they finally did he looked slightly pale.

"Are you feeling ok kiddo?" The ticket check asked.

"He's fine. It's his first time flying. Little nervous," Danny explained.

The ticket check smiled in understanding, and waved them through. Charlie held onto Danny's hand as they went down the long wobbily corridor to the plane.

"How do planes fly Danno?" He asked nervously. 

"Elf dust," Grace muttered to herself behind them.

Danny shot her a look that half scolded her and half questioned if he could get away with that as an answer since he wasn't fully certian himself. She had put her sunglasses back on though, so he couldn't gauge her reaction. 

"Uh, well, there’s some forces acting on the plane that hold it up in the air," Danny explained.

"Forces? Like in star wars?" He asked.

"Sort of yeah. Are you feeling ok bud?" Danny asked, concerned.

"I feel a bit sick," he admitted.

"Just stare out the window and you'll feel better," Danny promised.

"But I wanted the window seat!" Grace interrupted.

"Don’t make this difficult honey, please," Danny pleaded nicely.

Grace opened her mouth to protest but closed it again soon after. There was no point arguing. She wouldn’t win, why try? She rolled her eyes, which no one saw behind the glasses, and took the middle seat.

Which turned out to be the worst idea she had all day.

Danny insisted they all focus their entire attention on the safety announcements, just to be really sure they knew what they were doing, but Charlie couldn't see from his seat. He leaned most of the way across Grace, invading her personal space to see better. She allowed him to do so, but it tested her paitence. Danny soothed him again when the plane started taxi-ing down the runway. 

"Just look out the window. It's ok, just look out the window."

And as he was pushed back into his seat by the acceleration he whimpered and dug his nails into Grace's seat arm. She huffed the hair out of her eyes and did her best to stay compassionate as she took his hand in hers. When he dug his nails in enough to draw blood, she hissed.

"What? Are you ok?" Danny asked, urgently.

"I don’t think Charlie likes flying," she muttered, bitterly. 

Danny looked over at his son and sighed. He was already tired and cranky. He didn’t want to add a terrified kid to that list, but here they were. Charlie was frozen in place, staring at the ground as it fell away from them, hyperventilating manically and clinging to Grace.

"Ok. When the seatbelt light turns off, swap with me," Danny said.

"So I'm even further away from the window?!" Grace complained. 

Danny kept his impatience tamed back as he explained, "Grace honey I love you, but I don’t think your view will be improved by your brother being sick on you, will it?"

Grace glared at him from over the top of her sunglasses. If she hadn't let him drag too she would have still been dozing with Eddie on the sofa, full of cookies, with festive hallmark movies running on the TV right now. Alone. Peacefully so. 

That bitterness came through her tone as she grumbled, "Merry Christmas Danno."

Danny's irritation hit a wall and fell away. He couldn't blame Grace for being annoyed any more than he could blame Charlie for being scared. Neither of them had asked to go to Jersey for Christmas, they were doing it for him because they loved him. He didn't want his mood to effect their holiday.

"Don’t be like that, come on. Hey, we will land soon and we will be back home in Jersey. You remember christmas in Jersey righy? you'll be surrounded by family. Think about it. How many people who love you and buy you presents will be in that room?" Danny insisted. 

Grace huffed. She prized Charlie's nails out of her hand as she muttered, "The idea of family isn’t for material gain."

Danny wrinkled his nose and furrowed his brow. that did not sound like his daughter. "Excuse me? What now?"

"Uncle Steve told me-"

That irritation Danny had set aside for his kids? That flared up at the mention of Steve. The idea that his opinion could matter to Grace before Danny's, it didn't react well.

"Hey, listen to me not to uncle Steve ok? Uncle Steve is an idiot. I’m asking you nicely as a favour to you and to me, and even to your brother. will you please swap seats with me when the seatbelt sign turns off?"

Danny was firm and sharp with her. It was a warning to drop the attitude that she had heard a lot before. This time though, she really couldn't shift it. The bitterness sat in her stomach and it seemed unshakeable. There was no one to blame for it, and yet she couldn't let it go. Grace sighed heavily. Beside her her brother was digging holes into the arm rest that matched the ones now in her palm. It wasn't fair to him not to agree.

"Fine."

"Thank you," Danny said, pointedly. The frustration of his own eased for a moment. Then he reached over her to pat Charlie’s arm and said, "just hold on ok buddy? It wont be long. It's ok."

Even when they swapped seats, Charlie did not say a word for the entire flight. But on the bright side, he stared out of the window in fear the whole time, just like _Danny_ told him to, not Steve. It was a hollow victory and Danny hated himself for thinking of it. His thoughts returned to how Steve had tried to help him through his claustrophobia. He hadn't been as useful as the doctor in the lift. 

Danny tried to remembering what she had told him to echo it to Charlie. None if it went through to him though, as indicated by the way his grip tightened whenever the plane moved. As horrible as it was for Charlie, it at least settled a paranoia Danny had developed after Rachel returned to Jersey while pregnant. If she ever left again, Charlie wouldn't want to go with her.

Another hollow victory.


	6. Chapter 6

If there was one thing that Eric remembered about working with Five-O - apart from never work with family - it was how important punctuality was to Steve. Even so he was Eric. He had hit every green light on the way over and he had reached the airport with plenty of time to spare before Steve's plane landed. And then he had spent half an hour flirting with a girl he met at arrivals. He was so distracted that he almost missed Steve. Fortunately Steve did not miss him. 

"Eric, what are you doing?" He interrupted.

Eric swung around to flash him a grin. The girl behind him sniggered and leaned on the fence in front of them, keeping an eye on the gate doors.

"Steve! What are you doing here?!" Eric grinned.

Steve furrowed his brow, a look Eric knew well. "Are you serious? How many times did you get dropped on the head as a baby? Serious question."

Eric chuckled and leaned towards the girl as he put his arm around her, "He's joking. He's hilarious."

"Clearly," she said, forcing a smile.

She didn't push Eric away but she turned back to the doors attentively, actively ignoring him. Steve assumed, as many people would have, that Eric was talking to someone he knew. As such, Steve shifted his bags to one hand and leaned past Eric to offer his other.

"Hi, I'm Steve, pleasure to meet you," he said.

"Claire."

She politely shook his hand, but she seemed disinterested. Just Eric's type.

"So can we give you a lift anywhere?" Eric asked, pointedly.

Now she seemed alarmed. She pulled away from his arm and tugged her jacket closer around her.

"Oh, no thanks," she said.

"Are you sure? We're heading into town anyway," Eric said.

"Please, don’t refuse on my account," Steve assured.

"No, honestly, thanks for the offer but my boyfriend's flight is delayed by another ten minutes anyway," she insisted. 

There was a pause. Steve tilted his head at Eric, the pleasure in his eyes was clear. As was the surprise in Eric's. 

"Your- your- your boyfriend?"

"Uh huh," she nodded, smiling.

"Huh..." Eric said slowly. There was another beat before Eric spun around to pretend nothing had happened. "need a hand with your luggage Steve?"

"I wish Danny was here to see this, I really do," Steve smirked.

"You sound like him sometimes Steve," Eric stated.

Steve's smile was wiped off of his face. "That's not funny."

"You're not funny," Eric countered.

Steve glared at him, but decided he was too grown up to argue with the kid in public like this. Instead he thrust his bag at him pointedly. 

"Carry my bag," he ordered.

Eric held firm for a moment, but Steve's steely stare broke him yet again. He grabbed Steve's back and hauled it onto his shoulder. Steve flinched - he had breakables in there - but said nothing.

"Which way we going? This way?" Steve asked, gesturing towards an exit. 

"Yeah, this way," Eric said.

Eric tried to lead the way but Steve's longer legs meant he had to almost jog to keep up. Steve only allowed him to over take when they reached the carpark. If he had been a little less tired - and a little less certain that something was wrong with this car that would get the pulled over and into more trouble - Steve wouldn’t have let him drive either. He hated being a passenger. He liked the control of driving. A fact he would never admit to Danny. Still he found himself gazing up at the buildings around Jersey from the passenger side anyway.

"So are you gonna tell me everything I've missed or what? How is everyone?" Eric asked.

Steve's chest tightened. Of course he had tried to keep in touch, but once he stopped being able to catch Danny, no one else seemed as important. Last time he spoke to Junior the kid was clearly exhausted, and still didn't think to tell his boss that it was two am his time. Steve was so apologetic when he finally did the maths himself. He wasn't even sure when the last time he spoke to anyone else.

"Everyone? Err, Everyone is good."

"Yeah? Jerry sent me a link to that book he’s written - hey, how great is it that he’s started trusting technology again? There was only one layer of code on that link," Eric said.

He sniggered and shook his head but there was affection in his smile.

"Wait - Jerry sent you his book? He hasn’t sent me anything," Steve said.

"He hasn’t? Maybe he’s saving it for a Christmas present," Eric shrugged.

"Well I signed off on it, I'd like to read it!" Steve said.

"You should, it's great! A little far fetched, and I don’t appear in it as much as I should given that I was the backbone of Five-O while I was there-"

"Now you sound like Hirsch."

Steve said it with derision, but Eric looked more offended for Hirsch's sake than his own. He glanced over at Steve for a moment to shoot him that disapproving look he stole from his uncle. 

"Hirsch is a solid guy. From what I've heard he’s got guts too. Even I'm not dumb enough to hit on Kono in front of Adam," he said.

Again Steve snorted. "Yeah well Adam's not threatened by guys like you and Hirsch."

Eric frowned. To himself he muttered, "I could be a threat."

"Keep telling yourself that buddy," Steve said as he gazed out of the window. Then he suddenly turned towards Eric. "So who's coming to this thing?"

"By this thing do you mean Christmas?" Eric asked.

"I guess, yeah. Gimme the lowdown, what are we looking at here?" Steve asked.

Eric frowned again, with confusion this time. "Wait, you're staying for the whole of Christmas? I thought this was just a drop in to give us our presents and then you’d jet off again."

"Firstly, I didn’t get you presents, you're not a child, you don't need them. And where else would I jet off to exactly? Do you not want me here?" Steve asked, accusingly. 

Eric neither confirmed nor denied this. It was no secret that he was fond of his old boss, and the Ohana they had built on Oahu. But this was _family_ family. This was holidays at the Williamses. It brought out another side to all of them that Eric wasn’t so sure Steve would appreciate. 

"Last I heard you were travelling with smokin' hot Catherine again. Why aren’t you spending Christmas with your girl?" He asked.

"She’s not my girl anymore, not that its any of your business," Steve shrugged.

"Aw, I get it. She broke your heart again right? I can't say I’m surprised, she was smokin' and you- well no offence but-"

"If you finish that sentence or call Catherine smokin' again I’m gonna bust your jaw so you'll have to drink your Christmas dinner through a straw, d'you understand?"

Eric grinned, "Yeah, you're like that."

Steve hadn’t rolled his eyes this much since his last car ride with Danny. His eyes weren’t used to it, and they were starting to ache already.

"Thank you Eric," he said, sarcastically. 

"Sure, any time. For what?" Eric asked, missing the sarcasm altogether.

Calmly Steve explained, "Whenever I find myself wishing I was younger so I could things differently, you're always there to remind me how stupid you are when you're young. Makes me grateful for the hindsight."

"Oh, sure, no sweat," Eric shrugged. After a moment he bitterly added, "I mean there’s a dozen criminals that I was an essential part of evidence gathering that caused them being committed, not to mention my mad DJ skills-"

"DJ skills? Do you even hear yourself?" Steve scoffed.

"But I'm an idiot cause I'm younger than you, sure, I see that. Hey, remind me, who's younger, you or Max?" Eric challenged.

Steve opened his mouth to argue but he couldn’t. Eric had made a good point that he couldn’t argue with. _Eric._

"Alright, yknow what-"

"Its a simple question MC Garrett, who's younger?"

Steve huffed. "I'm not talking about this to you anymore Eric, okay? I’m just not, so let it go. God. You're just like your uncle sometimes, yknow that?"

Eric gagged in such offence that he almost swerved into oncoming traffic. He glared at Steve. 

"How dare you?"

Steve scoffed, shook his head, and turned away to look out of the window. He rested his elbow on the base of the window and held onto the frame as he did. There was a lull in conversation as they waited for the tension to ease off. Once it had, Eric cleared his throat. Curiosity always got the better of him in the end.

"Just tell me what happened to Catherine and I wont mention the Christmas present again."

"You’re such a child," Steve muttered.

Eric pursed his lips. He didn’t want to go there, but he couldn’t see another option. 

"Alright, I'll just call Uncle D and ask him, I'm sure he'll tell me. Or better yet, I'll ask Grandma, she’s such a gossip Danny'll tell her anyway and she'll tell me-"

"Danny doesn’t know."

Eric's mouth fell open to form an O as Steve stared hard out of the window. The way Steve said it sounded wrong. Like he wasn’t deliberately keeping this a a secret, but he couldn’t find a way to share it. Almost like... it was painful? For the head of Five-O? A man who had, by extension, caused his own fathers death? _This_ was painful?

"Oh now you _have_ to tell me! What happened?! What did you do?" Eric urged, almost too excitedly.

"Nothing! It wasn’t like that!" Steve argued.

Eric snorted, "sure, that's what they all say!"

"You know actual grown ups can be friends with their ex partners even after a break up. It's about making the choice to stay friends with people who matter to you. Not everything has to end with sex," Steve argued bitterly.

He turned as he spoke but never enough to actually look at Eric, even as Eric kept throwing looks towards him when he could afford to look away from the road. Steve's shoulders had slumped slightly. As much as Eric could see he didn’t want to talk about it, Eric couldn't stop himself from prying.

"So were not laying out a place for her at the table this year then?" He asked, tentatively.

"No, and I don’t wanna hear any more about it to be honest," Steve huffed.

Eric bit his tongue to stop himself from asking anymore. He stared dead ahead and took a deep breath.

"Alright."

Steve's head perked up. He rolled his head against the head piece to look at Eric. He eyed him carefully for a moment. 

"What?"

"Alright, if you wanna be grown up, we'll be grown up. I won't mention her again," Eric said, seriously.

Steve glanced him up and down. He knew it had been a long time since they last spent time together, but not this long.

"Thank you... I appreciate it," he said.

Steve blinked at him, thinking back to the day he had met Eric. He never would have thought that cocky, arrogant dope would ever be mature enough to drop a subject he clearly wanted to know more about. Eric had clearly grown up a lot since Steve last saw him. He cleared his throat.

"Catherine and I weren't meant to be together, alright? We wanted different things, and that didn't change. It's easier to just be friends. Nothing happened between us, we just settled our differences and walked away. That's all. I just haven't told Danny yet because he'll ask me a thousand questions, just like I asked him everything about Rachel, and I don't want to explain it to him until I can figure out how to okay?"

"I thought you didn't want to talk about it," Eric smirked.

"Call it your Christmas present," Steve shrugged.

"Well thanks. And I mean it, I won't mention it again. I can't make any promises for Uncle Vito though. Y'know what he’s like, if he catches wind of drama he'll latch on like a shark to a corpse," Eric warned.

Steve sighed for two reasons. Firstly because he was utterly disappointed to hear that Vito would be there too, but mainly for the colourful imagery that reminded him of the long days in crime scenes trying to explain the difference between appropriate and inappropriate metaphors.

"How did we ever hire you?" He sighed.

"You couldn't afford me now, I'm doing too good," Eric grinned smugly.

"And yet you're still whining about Christmas presents," Steve said.

"D'you want the lowdown or not?" Eric challenged.

"Yes. please." Steve huffed.

He was too tired for this and he hadn’t eaten in a while. While on board the plane he was going to eat the cookie, but he couldn’t bring himself to, and he hadn’t eaten anything since. It was making him grouchy.

"Alright!" Eric beamed.

The way he brightened up and drummed on the steering wheel made Steve wonder what he would have done had they not been driving. He was incredibly excitable and a little overly smug when explaining things in the lab, but this was his family. He knew these people inside and out. This was core knowledge Steve couldn’t argue with. Steve could already feel the arrogance coming.  
What he hadn’t expected, was how heavy Eric's accent suddenly became.

"So what yous gotta remember is that this is Jersey and we say petty arguments we mean _petty_ and we mean _arguments,_ ok, so before you start thinking of entering that mess, you gotta pick sides, and the side you gotta pick, is both."

"Both?"

"If yous don’t, you'll get a lotta heat aimed for ya."

Steve's head twitched. "Heat? What kind of heat?"

"Y'know when Danny starts accusing ya of stuff that makes no sense? Like how yous never listen to a word he says and ya gonna starve the restaurant of paying customers because yous asked if ya could put chives in the mix instead of thyme?" Eric asked.

"Vividly," Steve muttered. He frowned. "Wait, how did you know about that?"

"He ranted to Grandma for like two hours, I told ya, they gossip. Yous really don’t listen huh?" Eric accused.

Yet again Steve rolled his eyes. "What's your point?"

"My point is where d'ya think he got that from? This house is gonna be fulla the people who caused him to be the way he is, all being the way they force each other to be. Be glad you're a commander cause you're entering a war zone."

Steve looked at Eric. His tongue sat behind his teeth as he took in his words. "I think you're being a little dramatic."

"I think you need to remember Uncle D thinks Vito is the law abiding one in the family," Eric pointed out.

Steve paused for a beat, and groaned, "Oh God."

Eric nodded understandingly. "Top things to remember, let's get em down now. Uncle V never holds a grudge but he never forgets one either. I'm still hearing about the time I borrowed his car-" 

"You stole his car?!" Steve repeated accusingly. 

"I borrowed it. It was before the felony, it still counted as borrowing-"

Steve couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had read up on Eric when Danny said he wanted to hire him, and he'd read up on Vito when they were working together. Steve had done his homework on the Williams family ever since the first time he met Danny. Yet here was Eric telling him things he didn’t know and wasn’t sure he wanted to. 

"He’s gonna be on ya about that failed restaurant like-" Eric began.

"If you say a shark on a corpse, I'm telling you-" Steve began.

"Alright, alright, like a tick on a dog, is that better?" Eric interrupted.

"Much, thank you," Steve said impatiently.

"Well I hope yous got ya story worked out with uncle D because uncle V still got Kamekona's number. If he gotta use it, he will, and I don't think Kamekona is gonna lie for ya without asking for a price," Eric said, pointedly. 

Steve wrinkled his nose as he thought back to the time Kamekona had lied to Amber's boyfriend in order to buy them some time to look into him. It probably didn’t need to be mentioned now, but it was nice to know Kamekona was actually willing to lie for them unprompted.

"I'll just avoid him till Danno gets here," he decided. 

"Good luck with that! Gramps and him butt heads all the time but they’ll team up without blinking if they sense ya lyin' to em. Now Gramps and Grandma are hosting, she’s real excited, he’s not, but he’s tryin' a' hide it for her. Ya gonna hear somethin' snide from him every now and then, and don't mention the bourbon. Of course he's always got a glass in his hand, ain't no empty seat for him, ain't no empty glass for him either!" Eric sniggered.

Steve furrowed his brow and stared at him like he had two heads. "What, what are you talking about?"

"You'll get it when you hear it," Eric shrugged.

"I-"

"Listen up Steve cause we ain't too far now so we gotta rapid fire this, are ya ready?"

"Just talk man."

"Right, so - mom's off on holiday with her new boy toy who no ones met yet but it don't matter they won't be together long enough for a photo. Aunt Bridge and Soph ain't coming around either cause they came for Thanksgiving and it's one or the other for them, which Grandma is mad about but _no one knows that_ -"

The sarcasm in his tone threw Steve off for a second. The mental notes he was making had to take a second to readjust with his tone, but Eric didn’t pause to let it.

"Course Vito is coming, he comes every year, he’s gonna cause a big deal outta every little thing he can to try and show up Gramps because, well, that's what he does. Gramps will let him until he doesn’t which is when ya gotta know what to use as a shield. I tend to go for the television since ain't none of them gonna break it over a squabble like that. Not after last time..."

Eric trailed off for a moment. He zoned out as he did. Steve frowned. He had seen people having flashbacks before, but Eric's unsettled him somehow. Possibly because he was still driving.

"Hey! Hey, come back here. You alright man?" Steve asked.

"Y-yeah. Uh, don't bring that up if you can avoid it. Also don't mention the carpet but do mention the curtains. Don't mention the Philly Eagles, the Jets, roller derby, Elvis Costello, Frank Sinatra, pineapples on pizza, politics in any form, or Uncle Matt, kay?" Eric finished firmly.

Steve had been nodding along as he took it all in but he paused at that last one. 

"You guys aren’t gonna even mention Matt?" He said.

"Are you kiddin'? Hell no! D'you wanna see an old woman cry? Please, listen to me, please don't mention him, alright?" Eric snorted.

"Alright, I won't. It just seems weird though. I mean, Christmas is about family-" Steve began.

 _"Happy_ family. Which is why we don't mention him," Eric said, firmly.

Steve and Mary liked to take a moment over Christmas to think about the people they had lost. Family who couldn’t be there for the holidays. It was a little tradition they had started after they were told their mother died. Remembering her at Christmas kept her spirit alive for them. It was odd to Steve that they buried that here, but it explained a lot about Danny. Besides, he wasn't with Mary anymore.

Steve shrugged finally. "Alright, it's your family. And I don't know anything about roller derby or care about Philly anything, so I think we're good."

"Good, cause ya see that house on the corner?" Eric gestured to the end of the street.

Steve looked towards the end of the street. On one corner there was a house wrapped up like a Christmas present with some kind of plastic ribbon covering the vents. It also had a layer of faux snow piled on the lawn and an inflatable snowman waving to the street. On the opposite side there were lights. Lots and lots of colourful, blinking lights that made Steve's head hurt. There was also candy canes the same size as him lining the path up to the doorway. 

"The fire hazard or the glowing dot?" He asked drily.

Eric chuckled. "Welcome to our home."

When Eric pulled into the drive way they couldn’t open the garage because of the way the wires crossed over the doorway. His feet had barely touched the ground before the front door was flung open and Clara cried out to see him. She hurried across the lawn, picking her way across to avoid the worst mud. She threw her arms around to draw him into a hug. It took Steve by surprise to be greated in such a way, but it was far from unwelcome. 

Steve had taken pride in the way that Danny had grown into the kind of person who greeted people with a hug, whether it was their first meeting or not. He had assumed that the aloha spirit had brought that out of him. But now he had been subjected by Danny's mother's warm welcoming hugs, he wondered if Danny had been like that in Jersey before the dark times bore their heads. 

"Steven! Hello!" She beamed warmly.

Steve automatically hugged her back and laughed, "aloha Clara! How've you been?"

Clara pulled away from him enough to see his face properly, but she kept her hands on his arms as she did. That way she could feel his muscles. He kept a hand on her back for as long as she kept her hands on his arms, simply because he didn’t think anything else of it.

"Oh we're all fine, everyone’s fine, how are _you?!_ I hear you've been travelling, tell me everything!" She beamed. 

Steve didn’t have time to react because an overly familiar voice came from the doorway to tease, well, Danny. 

"Is that my boy?!" Vito raised his hands above his head as he came stepping out of the house, pretending to be under arrest, "Honestly officer, we haven’t done anyth- oh."

Steve forced a smile and raised a hand to wave reluctantly. "Hey Vito."

Vito's smile didn't waver even as his brow furrowed. He turned around in a circle, as if he was looking for something. Steve wished he'd thought to wear a warmer jacket.

"Where’s Danny? I thought Eric was picking him up," Vito said.

"Shhh, Danny doesn’t know he’s coming, he’s gonna be so surprised!" Clara hissed the whisper excitedly, as if Danny was around to over hear them.

Eric leaned in to Steve and warned, quietly, "If you wanna get in the house, you gotta start walking. They'll move with you. Don't be polite, it’ll get you nowhere."

He edged around the side of the truck to head towards the house. As he did he walked backwards for a couple of steps to wave goodbye to Steve, pointedly. He got the message.

"Let me just grab my bag-" Steve began.

He turned around to reach for the truck door but Clara batted his hand away playfully.

"Don't be silly, you've had a long day! We'll take that," she insisted.

"Oh, no, its fine-" Steve began.

"What is your stuff too good for us to carry? Come on, we ain't gonna break it, let me get it," Vito challenged.

"Uh, it's really ok, I've carried it this far-" Steve began.

It was too late to stop Vito from marching over towards the truck to get the suitcase out for himself. To do so he had to barge past Steve, who was trying to point this out without causing another argument. 

"Oh no Vito, dont stress yourself, think of your heart! Eric! _Eric!"_ Clara called.

Eric appeared again by hanging from one arm out of the door. "What grandma?!"

"Come get Steve's bag for him, come on now, that’s a good boy," she ordered.

"But I just-" Eric pointed a thumb towards the jacket he'd taken off seconds before.

"I'll make some grilled cheese sandwiches, come on in," Clara said.

Steve's eyebrows shot up as his stomach grumbled furiously. He would never say no to free food anyway, but he remembered the leftovers Clara had filled Danny's fridge with, and he was dying to taste it fresh.

"Grilled cheese? Alright!" He grinned.

Clara clapped her hands happily and slid an arm around his waist to walk him into the house. Steve laid his arm around her shoulders as they went. Eric walked past them to where Vito was trying to drag Steve's case out of the truck.

"Gimme that," Eric huffed.

He edged Vito to one side and hauled the case off the seat, allowing gravity to do most of the work for him. 

"I can carry it! I’m not a frail old man yknow!" Vito huffed.

He made a lunge for the bag but Eric raised an arm to stop him. 

"Yeah sure Uncle V, so I'll just let you stress yourself out, have another heart attack and keel over in the front yard, yeah? What kind of doctor would I be then?" He huffed.

Vito scowled as Eric strode past him, dragging Steve's case behind. It took him a moment to decide he wasn’t going to follow Eric in, so he had to jog to catch up.

"You're a doctor for dead people, don't get that twisted, you ain't special kid," he barked.

Eric stopped on the doorstep to turn back and face his uncle. His words stung more than Eric wanted to let on. He took up the whole doorway and nudged Steve's bag out of his way with his heel. 

"Oh aren’t I? No? Then I guess you wont be surprised if I do this-"

Eric shut the door behind him, leaving Uncle Vito trapped outside in the cold. He snickered when Vito yelled and started pounding on the door.

"Eric."

Eric's smile vanished at the voice. He turned, pulling his best apologetic face, to see his grandfather standing in the doorframe of the sitting room, Brady in one hand, Sudoku in the other. 

"Did you just lock your uncle out?"

"In fairness Gramps, he told me I wasn’t special," Eric said.

"You're not special kid, you're just young," Eddie said.

Eric tilted his head from side to side and mouthed, yeah. He then bowed his head and pursed his lips. The guilt of Vito banging on the door didn’t hurt as much as knowing his family still saw him as the idiot kid he was before he was sent to his uncle. 

"Then again," his grandfather said slowly and thoughtfully so Eric would meet his gaze again, "maybe Vito should take some time to cool off if you think it's best for him. You are the doctor here after all."

Eric's smile grew back instantly as he watched Eddie raise his brows and take a long sip from his glass pointedly. Without another word, Eddie returned to the comfort of his sitting room. Eric listened to Vito shouting through the door and made a noise that was somewhere between a giggle and a bubble in a water cooler. While his family weren't always open about it, it was nice to know they still supported him.

"Oh thanks Eric, you can put that in the guest room," Clara said.

She gestured to the suitcase and then up the stairs. Eric groaned. He picked up the case by the handle, and trudged towards the stairs. 

"I've set up the bed in the spare room, I'll show you where when you're done eating," she explained to Steve.

Steve had perched himself on the stool by the breakfast bar pretruding into the middle of the room to face Clara and watch her as she made the grilled cheese.

"Oh, no, don't worry you don't have to put yourself out like that, I can stay in a hotel," he insisted.

Clara swatted his chest. "Dont be silly! You're our guest! And its Christmas. No one wants to spend Christmas in a hotel room, do they?"

"I wouldn’t mind it," Eddie muttered from the sitting room.

Sound travelled easily in this house. Even the sounds that went ignored, like an old man banging on the door. 

"I really dont' wanna be a burden," Steve began.

"Nonsense, you're staying. Besides, when my little Daniel comes home I want you to be front and centre so I can see the look of joy on his face!" Clara stared off dreamily, clutching onto the cheese as she did.

Steve grinned eagerly and shifted forward in the stool at the mention of their plan. He was thrilled at the chance to surprise Danny, and he could just see the delight on his partners face. If he was lucky, Danny would forget to hold his grin back, and that sunshine smile would light up his face. That was Steve's favourite smile. It melted away the sadness.

"I already have it all planned out-" he said, as if he didn’t have everything planned out all the time anyway, "when Danny gets picked up from the airport I'm going to get in a box. Then when he gets in he'll be lead through to the sitting room and the box will be there like a present for him, right? The kids will tear into it, and I'll jump out, and they're all going to be so thrilled to see me, like-" Steve threw out his arms theatricality, "merry Christmas!"

Clara laughed brightly and clapped again, "just like those adorable videos on the internet when troops come home to their families for Christmas! I tell ya, I love those videos. They make my heart so... _Full."_

Clara had to raise a hand to her face as her eyes welled up with tears. Steve's face fell and he reached out to pat her arm.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"I'm just so excited. After when the kids did for us in Hawaii, I finally get to pay them back," she smiled through the tears.

"I think you paid them back by not getting divorced," Steve smiled.

Eddie wandered in as if on cue and nodded. "Ah yes, the Hawaii surprise. That’s a night I love to remember. Best risk I ever took, biggest reward."

He wrapped an arm around Clara's shoulders and leaned in to plant a kiss on her cheek. She chuckled and pushed him away playfully. He stumbled back a little, but stayed close. Just like Junior and Tani would. Steve's chest warmed at the thought of them growing into a couple like this one day.

"If I may, you two look stronger than ever," he said.

"Well you didn’t know us before son, but I appreciate the sentiment," Eddie said.

"That's a good point sir," Steve chuckled.

"Please, it's Eddie. No point holding formalities at Christmas," Eddie said.

"As you like it Eddie," Steve nodded.

None of them had noticed that the banging on the door had stopped until Steve's phone rang. He excused himself for a moment to answer it. Seconds later, he wandered down the hallway to open the front door.  
The front door was a straight line away from the Kitchen door, with the sitting room and the study leading off from it, and the stairs boxing the hallway in. From where they were standing at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, they could all see Vito stagger in. His lips were turning blue and he was shivering. After all he had only gone out in a shirt.

"I'm gonna k-kill that k-kid," he shivered. 

"No you're not, think about your blood pressure. Go sit down," Clara ordered. 

"But-"

"No."

She pointed a knife at him as she spoke and gestured towards the sitting room with the blade. It wouldn't count as a threat really, barely even a warning, but Vito huffed anyway. 

"I'm freezing my ass off here!" Vito argued.

"Then sit by the fire," Eddie said, drily.

Vito shivered bitterly as he shuffled towards the warmth of the sitting room. Steve returned to the kitchen. 

Quietly, Clara said to her husband, "Be nice to him Eddie, yknow he ain't got nowhere else to go."

"I'm tryin' Clara but it's not easy. He’s been he three days now and he snores," Eddie complained. 

"I hope the snoring doesn't bother you dear," Clara said to Steve.

"Are you kidding? In the navy we slept in the sand with choppers going over head and explosions in the distance. Snoring is nothing," Steve smirked.

A little voice at the back of his head that he had grown to think sounded just like Danny, scoffed at him. _snorings fine but you cant sleep with the tv on huh?_ Steve bit back a smirk at that. 

"Not that he'd hear it anyway from the spare room anyway," Eddie muttered into his glass.

Clara swatted at him. "Be quiet. At least you're not Eric."

Eric was reaching the bottom step of the stairs when he heard his name and came to investigate. "Why, what's Eric done?" He asked.

"Nothing honey I’m just saying at least your grandfather isn’t bunking in with uncle Vito," Clara said quietly. 

Eric snorted in derision at full volume. "why'd you think I locked him out? Better that than hear him complain about the dust all night."

"The dust aggravates my allergies! I wouldn’t expect you to understand, you're the one that brings people out in hives," Vito called.

"The study isn’t dusty uncle V, it's you! You’re crumbling apart, it's your age!" Eric called back.

While Vito started ranting about how he was still young enough to beat the words back into Eric, Steve bit into his grilled cheese and his stomach thanked the gods. He could sense an air of cabin fever already settling in, but at least his stomach wouldn’t allow his mind to slip any further into a bad mood too.

"You're the one who _wanted_ to sleep on the floor, I told you it was a dumb idea but you're too stubborn to listen!" Eric huffed. 

He had retreated to the hallway to argue with Vito specifically. Between the distance and the delicious distraction, it was tricky to hear the whole argument. Steve caught that but though, which stirred his manners.

"Vito's on the floor?" He asked, through his food.

"No, no, no, don't worry. Vito spent one night on the floor so Eric could have the camp bed but he hurt his back getting up so he’s agreed to have the bed now," Clara assured.

"Is he not in the guest room? Don't you have a bed in there?" Steve smirked.

"No, uncle Vito and little Eric are in the study this year. You and Danny get to share the guest room," Clara explained.

Steve froze. His mind flickered to how many beds there might be - or not be - and his stomach churned.

"share the - no, no, that's fine, if Vito needs a proper bed-"

Steve set down his sandwich and began dusting the crumbs off of his hands when he felt a hand on his shoulder pushing him back into his seat.

"Steve, I'm telling ya, it's not worth the fight. Take the bed, you will not win," Eric warned.

"But Grace and Charlie- I'm okay on the couch," he insisted. 

"I told you not to be silly!" Clara insisted. "We've been doing this for years now, we can fit everyone in where they need to be. The kids are in the basement, where its soundproof so they can actually sleep-"

"I'm glad someone can," Eddie muttered. 

"Eric and Vito are bunking in the study because Vito refuses to take the bed-" Clara continued.

"He doesn’t want to admit that he’s an old man with a bad ticker," Eric patted his chest above his heart to add to his point.

Vito decided to swagger into the kitchen to argued on his own behalf as no one else would. He stood directly behind Steve to do so.

"If he’s got heart issues-" Steve began.

"I had _one_ heart attack alright. One. Stop fussing about me like it's still going on! I’m not the first, and I lived. I’m fine!" Vito stated firmly.

Vito had leaned over the table to poke a finger into the top of it as though it would underline his point. Eric shot a look at Steve that said _see?_

"So we got the boys together, the kids together, and you and Danny will have plenty of time to catch up. Its perfect!" Clara beamed.

"And this time I didn’t have to leave my bed so it's even more perfect," Eddie smirked.

Steve cracked half a smile at his remark. "Holidays get a little busy round here I guess huh?"

"Please, that's nothing," Eddie scoffed. "We got four kids, three grandkids, we got wives, ex wives, husbands, divorced friends, lonely friends, people stuck away from home, _marines-"_

While it can't be said for sure how often Clara had been teased about whatever the marine incident was today, but this was clearly one nip too far. Clara crashed the plate that was in her hands against the table and silenced them.

"Everyone deserves a good family dinner I will not apologise for giving soldiers a place to stay!" She snapped, firmly.

While the other family members silently shared meaningful looks, Steve came to her aid.

"Nor should you. That's a real nice thing, to open your home to people," he said, smiling warmly as he did.

Her face changed slightly as she admitted, "It's not something we like to remember."

"If they didn’t have PTSD before they came in they sure did when they left," Eddie muttered.

Vito snorted. Eddie took another sip of his brandy while looking pointedly at Eric. In fact everyone but Steve was now looking at Eric. He threw his arms out defensively.

"How was I supposed to know that crazy chick had firecrackers in her purse?! Who keeps firecrackers next to a lighter anyway?" He argued.

Again, Steve thought back to the files he had poured over when researching Danny before accepting him as a partner. There had been some concerns, sure, but none that made Danny's character an issue. In fact, whenever he had bent or broken rules, it was usually for important and incredibly good reasons. That was partly why Steve chose to partner with him.  
But in all that research, there was no mention of firecrackers, car jacking, or whatever cons Vito had doubtlessly pulled.  
Steve couldn't help but wonder if Danny became a cop to protect his family, or protect people from them.

"You ok honey, you're not eating," Clara said, resting a hand on his arm again.

Her interaction pulled Steve from his thoughts. That, for some unknown reason, made him realise how tired he was feeling suddenly. Jet lag had caught up with him.

"He probably doesn't appreciate the value of your cooking Clara. He certainly didn’t appreciate the value of a good restaurant meal plan," Vito said sharply.

Steve's reaction was quicker than he wanted it to be. The stormy expression he shot at Vito gave him all the ammo he needed. Vito knew where to poke now. For the moment though, Steve wanted to rise above it. There was no sense in making enemies before Christmas.   
That's what Thanksgiving is for.

"It was wonderful Clara, I appreciate it. Mom never really cooked comfort food, I appreciate that you do," Steve assured.

Clara's face melted into affectionate sympathy and she threw her hands to her chest to cover her heart.

"Oh Steve! You can come and eat here anytime, I'll cook you whatever you like," she urged.

"Careful, if you talk like that he'll try and make you a failed chef, like he did our Danny," Vito warned.

Steve did not bite. Instead he stood up and took his plate to the sink to wash it up. To any outsider it would seem as though Steve was well trained and obedient to wash his dishes when he was done with them. Danny knew better. Fortunately Danny wasn’t yet here, and Steve could score points with his family before Danny ruined that.

"Wow, a man doing dishes. You don't see that every day! Not round here anyway," Clara chuckled.

"Because we have a dishwasher," Eddie pointed out.

"Yeah grandma, were not savages," Eric agreed.

"Thank you Steve, I appreciate your help," Clara said, pointedly.

"My pleasure. And not that I’m not enjoying your company immensely, but I'm really jet lagged, and I could really use a nap," Steve admitted.

"Of course, of course, the guest room is right this way," she gestured towards the door.

Steve thanked her again, and then again when they arrived at the room. As soon as the door was shut behind her he dropped onto one of the two twin beds fully clothed to grab any rest that would come. He didn’t have to wait long.

...

Steve woke to hear Clara in the kitchen singing along to Cher as she made what smelt like bacon and eggs. He pulled on a shirt - who needs trousers the morning right? - and headed down to investigate. Clara had her back to the door as she poked at the edges of a pan with a spatula singing.

" _If I could turn back time! If I could find a way! I'd take back those words that hurt you, And you'd stay!"_

She wriggled her hips as she sang along. Steve watched her quietly. There was a joy in her voice that felt homely. Warm. Is this what mothers were supposed to be like? If so, he liked it. He didn’t like to interrupt. But that meant that when she spun around she cried out in alarm to see him there.

"Oh! Steve! I didn’t see you there!" She cried. She hid behind her hand a little as she felt her cheeks flush. "H-how long have you been there?"

"Not long, I'm sorry, I didn’t want to intrude," he said.

"It's fine, its alright, I was just... I was..."

"With respect Mrs Williams, I saw what you were doing. You were having fun. Nothing wrong with that," He assured.

Her cheeks were still pink as she nodded. She kept her gaze down on the frying pan for the rest of their conversation though. Her cheeks were practically scarlet. Steve glanced around as he smacked his lips thoughtfully.

"Is no one else up yet?" He asked.

"Eddie's gone to get the post," she explained.

"Ah. Still got presents on their way?"

"Of course not, we finished all our Christmas shopping last week."

"That’s good planning. Got wrapping paper?"

"Of course."

Steve nodded thoughtfully. If he could find a box big enough for him to fit in he could wrap it up in wrapping paper and set it under the tree so that he could hide in it when Danny arrived...

"Do you know where I can find a large box?" He asked Clara casually. 

"How large?" Clara asked.

"About..." Steve raised a hand to just above his head, "this big."

"Ooh, for the surprise?!" Clara asked excitedly. 

Steve nodded. Early as it was, the excitement was already starting to fill the air. Clara made some more coffee while they discussed where to find a box big enough for him to fit in. They got so carried away in the conversation that they didn’t notice Eddie return. Not until he cleared his throat.

"Where are your pants son?" He asked.

Steve looked down at his bare legs. He offered a sheepish smile. "I'll be right back."

Eddie took his seat as he hurried off to find some pants. Clara set a cup of coffee and a plate of eggs in front of him.

"You don't have to be rude. I like that our kids friends can feel comfortable in our home."

"They don't have to be too comfortable," he said.

"Have you set the bed in the basement up yet?" Clara asked.

"No, I was thinking- Grace is pretty grown up now. She shouldn't have to share a bedroom with her brother," Eddie said.

"Where else would you put her?" Clara asked.

"In the guest room. Both of them. In separate beds, real beds, not just airbeds," Eddie insisted. 

"Airbeds? What happened to the pullout?" She asked.

"I'm not sure, but it's broken. All the more reason for them to go in the spare room," he said.

"No, that's too close to the study. Vito would keep them up all night and they need rest. Besides, Danny and Steve are in there. They're too old for airbeds," Clara said firmly.

"I just think-"

"If you want to carry the two beds down to the basement and make Danny and Steve share the airbed in the spare room, by all means, do. Otherwise settle down. I’m sure she can put up with sleeping beside her little brother for a few nights. Lord knows when they get here they'll all be exhausted anyway," she said.

Eddie just nodded. He didn’t want to be the one who argued unnecessarily. "What time are they coming in again?"

"Their plane lands at seven. I need you meet them at arrivals so you can tell me exactly how frazzled Danny looks when he thinks no ones around," she said.

"Darling are you trying to smother the boy again?" He asked.

She slammed the spatula into the worktop and said, firmly, "I'm allowed to worry about my children Eddie, even when they've got children of their own!"

Any argument that could have sparked off of that was squashed by Steve calling from upstairs.

"Is something burning?"

Clara gasped in horror. "My eggs!"

Needless to say when Eric woke up to find burnt scrambled eggs being thrown away by his grandmother, the teasing began again. 

Teasing walked a fine line in this household Steve found. Affectionate ribbing could easily cut to passive aggressive barbs that cut too close sometimes. It was like a powder keg sat by a lit candle that was only just out of reach. It didn’t take Steve long to work out the patterns though. 

Eric and Vito were driving each other mad, but Eric had genuine concern for Vito's health, so their arguments usually started playful and ended sharply. Eric would poke at Eddie, who never fully retaliated but could put him down in a single remark or silence him in a look. Eddie and Vito would sometimes throw barbs at each other in what seemed to be good faith, but mostly they teamed up against others - usually Eric. Eric tried to tease Steve, so Steve allowed him a slightly larger leeway than they had had in Hawaii, but wouldn’t let him forget he was boss.

But no one really messed with Clara. 

If things started to get heated she would stop them sharply before it got out of hand. Not that she wasn’t teased too, but that really was all in good fun. Nothing got out of line with her around.

But when Eddie left for the airport, Vito started poking at Steve. Steve tried to rise above it since they had almost broken even on the restaurant so it was fine, but it was still a tender wound. Steve didn’t like to fail, especially when everyone had warned him repeated that's where they were heading. He especially didn't like the implication that he had somehow let down Danny in the same way. 

"Besides, you and Danny boy? Your partnership wasn’t strong enough for the restaurant business," Vito said.

And with that comment, he finally bore his way under Steve McGarrett's skin. He dropped the scissors he had been cutting wrapping paper with and turned to glare at Vito. The box he was wrapping laid forgotten beside the tree.

"What did you say?" He challenged.

"What, you deaf as well as ugly now too? I said-" Vito began.

"Yeah, I heard what you said, I wondered if you did," Steve interrupted. "Our partnership isn’t _strong_ enough? Because ten years of friendship, of working together, of spending holidays at each others houses with each others families isn’t strong enough for you?"

"Any fool can eat Turkey together. It takes more than that to run a restaurant. It takes grit. Trust. Strength of character. You gotta know you're both loyal to each other and the restaurant and committed to it, together. Like a marriage!" Vito said.

Eric scoffed. He remembered Vito's fourth wife. None before her though, and to be honest, she didn’t hang around long enough to leave more than an image of her bikini in his head. Steve and Danny were practically married already, and theirs was the strongest marriage he had seen.

"Me and Danny were committed!" Steve argued stubbornly.

"Commit _table_ maybe. Do you have an asylum in Hawaii?" Vito sneered.

"As it happens we do have an institution for the mentally unwell in Hawaii, but that's neither here nor there!" Steve corrected firmly before continuing back on track, "I was one hundred percent committed to Danny and to that restaurant-"

"Oh you were? That’s that's what I saw," Vito scoffed.

Steve frowned. He rose to his feet to get closer to Vito, accusingly. "What are you talking about?"

"What I saw, was bickering. Childish, selfish, bickering. You couldn't even agree on vinyl colours for Gods sake! Every little thing you butted heads on-" 

"That is because Danny is pig headed and stubborn-"

Vito leapt out of his chair to his full height, and aggressively pointed a finger at Steve's chest. "Watch it, that's my boy you're talking about!" He barked.

"No kidding, that's probably where he got it from!" Steve raised his voice back.

Vito threw his arms in the air, "After all I've I've for you-"

"Done for me?! Oh please, _please_ tell me, what have you ever _legally,_ done for me?" Steve asked, crouching to emphasis his words as he did.

"If it weren’t for me you wouldn't have a got a liquor licence at all!"

 _"Kamekona_ got us the liquor licence! he brought one from a failed business for pennies on the dollar! You did nothing!"

"That's-" Vito paused. His face fell. At a normal volume he said, more to himself than Steve, "that's genius, why didn’t I think of that?"

"Because you are not as useful as Danny thought you were!" Steve accused.

Eric sighed as Vito flew back to arguing. He dropped into Eddie's comfy seat in the corner and rested his feet on the ottoman.

"Oh so you think I’m useless?!" Vito accused.

"Did I say useless?" Steve demanded.

"Let me tell you something-"

"I didn’t say useless! I said less useful-"

"Let. me. tell. you. _somethin'!_ The only use you've got is being a paperweight! All you're good for is stopping things blowing away!"

Steve threw his arms out to full length and gave him a baffled look. "What are you talking about, are you insane?! To hell I’m not useful, I'm a cop-"

"Who couldn't even track down the idiot who stole your power tools! Useless!" Vito punctuated his argument by bouncing his fingertips off of his palm.

Steve threw one arm out and rested the other on his hip. "If Danny hadn’t left the door unlocked-"

"Oh sure, blame Danny! Because you're not even able to shut a door right?!"

"Oh man, o-h-oh man!" Steve threw Steve shoulders back and he laughed, "You wanna talk about shutting things Vito? How about keeping your mouth shut about having money so you dont get conned by some girl in a bikini!"

In the space of a second, Vito's face twisted in shock and horror to offence as Eric's eyebrows shot up. The corner of Steve's mouth curved up as he smirked. He knew he was winning now. Vito took a step back as a sense of betrayal ran through him.

"Kamekona snitched on me?!" He choked.

"He didn’t have to, they caught the girl and she confessed you idiot!" Steve sneered.

"Oh, so _I_ _'m_ the idiot am I? Who's big idea was it to open an Italian restaurant in the middle of china town anyway?!" Vito raised his voice again.

"DANNY'S! AND ANOTHER THING-"

Since Clara was down in the sound proof basement she wasn’t able to hear much more than the muffled sounds of yelling. Eric, being in the same room, sighed at the argument. Instead of trying to stop it though, he turned the volume of the telly up higher. Steve had cast aside the box he was preparing for his surprise and it laid, forgotten, under the tree now. Both of the men were stubborn, pig headed, and certain they were in the right.

This was gonna take a while.


	7. Chapter 7

Eddie had devoted the last few years of his life to doing whatever he could to make his wife happy, even if that meant doing things he was uncomfortable with. Like salsa dancing, or bingo. Or spying on his son.   
It wasn’t hard to pick out Charlie from the crowd at the gate. He had been terrified the whole flight and the colour was still drained from his face. Grace lugged her case along behind her, with one headphone in, and bags under her eyes. Danny though, Danny looked drained. His hair was messy, his shirt was stained, he had bags under his eyes like he hadn’t slept in a week. He didn’t look like the same man that they had left in Oahu last time they saw him. Eddie felt his stomach droop at the sight.

Clara was not going to like this.

"Danny!" Eddie called.

Danny twisted like a meerkat above the crowd, alert at the sound. Eddie put on his best smile and raised a hand into the air.

"Grandpa!" Grace gasped. 

She left her bag with Danny and raced across the airport to give him a huge hug. The power of her youth knocked him backwards, but he stayed on his feet, laughing as he did. Danny rolled his eyes as he took Grace's bag as well as his own and Charlie's, and Charlie.

"Come on buddy, hold onto this," Danny muttered.

He lifted Charlie up to sit on one of the bags and pushed it along on the trolley with him on top. Danny figured if he went fast enough security wouldn’t care. He got yelled at from across the way almost immediately. Danny waved an apology back.

"I see you still have a way of making friends," Eddie smirked.

"Oh yeah, I've got friends in every security facility in the US. You have to know who to talk to to get Steve out of trouble," Danny joked.

"I dont doubt it," Eddie said.

He held his fake smile as he took in Danny's. Danny's smile lit up his face and showed off how impeccable dental insurance was for cops, but it didn't reach his eyes. His eyes were blue in more than just colour. Eddie saw exhaustion beyond jet lag, but he couldn’t question it. Not yet.

"I've parked in short term parking so we gotta move quick," he explained.

"Sure. Grace, take your bag, Charlie take your grandpa's hand."

Charlie looked up at the old man who towered over him. The cigar and mothball scent that came from him was strangely familiar, but Charlie couldn't remember ever meeting him before. Eddie flashed him a warm smile and waggled his fingers. Charlie glanced at Danny. Danny glanced between Charlie and Eddie. Charlie looked nervous. 

"Err, actually, Pop, if you dont mind-"

"Sure, I got it."

Eddie took Charlie's hesitance in his stride. He was used to kids being slightly fearful of him - firefighter masks are scary sometimes, especially if everything you know is burning around you - but this kid was far too shy around his grandparent. Eddie made a mental note to try and spend a little more time with Charlie. Fear tended to ease with time.

The tension in Charlie's shoulders eased as he took Danny's hand. Eddie took the last bag and they wheeled their way over to the car. Grace climbed into the back instantly, but Charlie was reluctant to follow. He only did when Danny nodded at him to let him know it was okay. He kept an eye on Eddie through the window while he and Danny tried to play tetris with their luggage. 

"Is that our grandpa?" Charlie asked Grace while they were alone in the car.

"Don't worry, he’s not as grumpy as he looks," Grace assured him. 

Charlie glanced out of the back window again.

"Are you sure?" He asked, uncertainly.

"Hey, don't worry, you know Uncle Vito and Eric. You just gotta spend some time with grandma and grandpa. They're awesome too. Trust me. I wouldn’t steer you wrong would I?" She assured him. 

"Will you stick by me when we get there?" Charlie asked quietly.

Grace thought back to the last holiday she had spent with her grandparents. She and Sophia had been forced to bunk together on the sitting room floor because the house was full and they were both kids so what harm could it do. She assumed this year she would be bunking with Charlie anyway, so she assumed she didn’t have a choice.  
Still, the way he looked at her with such desperation and hope, it tugged at her in a way no one else would ever manage to.  
He was, like it or not - and sometimes she didn’t - her baby brother. He needed her. 

"Course I will. That's what sisters are for," she smiled.

Charlie cracked a huge grin for the first time since they brought sweets in the airport. Just in time for Danny to get back in the car and see it. That lifted his spirits too.

"Feeling better now buddy?"

"Yes Danno," Charlie nodded.

"Good, I'm glad," Danny smiled.

Eddie climbed into the car in the diving seat and settled himself in. He looked at Charlie in the rear-view mirror and flashed a smile. Charlie ducked his head shyly, but held a polite smile.

"Here we go, off to adventure," he said.

As he turned the key the engine roared into life and they set off back into the city Grace had once called home. It was so odd to her that this crowded, busy, endless city was once all she'd known. Now it seemed darker and colder where the sun - or lack there of - couldn't reach through the skyscrapers. Even though it had been so long since she called this place home yet she could feel it. This city was a part of her.

She could remember walking her way down these streets, jumping to avoid the cracks in the sidewalk as she went. When she was still toddling she hopped over them to make sure she cleared them, but was big enough to walk alone she took bigger steps over them just in case. Although she could still just remember holding onto her mom and Danno's hands as they swept her off her feet and helped her avoid cracks by swinging her through the air instead to avoid the risk altogether. It felt so strange to remember times when they had gone out as a family. That they were a family. All three of them, together, happy. When she had no idea of the cracks in her families foundations. It seemed so distant now, she almost wondered if it had been a dream. A dream she remembered much clearer when they passed the old ice cream shop they had stopped in just because they could.

Danny had helped the owner in some way at some point, and she could still remember him telling her how brave and important her daddy was. It was the first time she realised that he was helping people every time he went away. That lead to her making less of a fuss every time he left. Where he was going was important. When the owner called him Detective Williams, he had said call me Danny.

"Yeah, call him Danno!" Grace repeated proudly.

Rachel and Danny looked down at her in surprise as the shop owner smiled along. Rachel chuckled softly as Danny lit up.

"Call me what monkey?"

"Danno!" She repeated, just as proudly.

"It's Dan _ny._ Dan- _ny,_ can you say that? Dan- _ny_?"

 _"_ Dan _no."_

Rachel burst into laughter. That sound alone make Grace light up, and Danny's heart soar. Danny wrapped his arms around her, his smiling dazzling. She was so small he could have squashed her with just one arm, but her smile took up half of her face and utterly melted his heart.

"Its alright, you can call me Danno. Y'know why? Because Danno loves you."

Grace remembered the colourful vinyl of their booth, and how bright it looked in the sunshine. The air was tinged with a chill, but their booth was warm. They were happy... It was boarded up now. Planks of wood hid the vinyl altogether. That and the cartoon mascot on the logo had been covered in graffiti. She almost hadn't recognise it until they stopped at a traffic light. When the light changed and they pulled away, she wondered what would replace it next time she visited. The city had changed. As familiar as it felt, it was all so different now. 

A familiar sense of distance ran through Danny as he watched the city running past the window. It was so peculiar to think of all the places he had once been expected to control. He couldn't see half of them for the buildings. Walking his beat had taken him miles and he barely registered them. Hawaii may have been the larger state, but Jersey felt so much denser. As they passed certian corners, memories of crimes long since solved floated back to him. He had lived in this city. Really _lived_ it. All of it, his childhood, his family, his friends, his loves, his loses, his marriage, they were from here. But now they were like ghosts just passing through.

"It's been a while since we last saw you guys huh? You dont visit much," Eddie said to Danny.

His father's voice popped the bubble of thought that was carrying Danny away.

"It's the same distance from Jersey to Oahu pop," Danny pointed out.

"I know that. We’ve just been busy," Eddie said.

"I’m sure. You retired and now you’re busy, I hear it all the time, dont worry about it," Danny said, drily.

Eddie frowned and glanced towards him. "Daniel-"

Danny knew that tone. "I'm not being sarcastic Pop! I live on an island full of retired cops, I hear it gets busy. I know it gets busy, I mean Five-O has dropped in on almost every retired cop on the island to ask for advice or help in some way or another. It's not a job you walk away from, like fightfighting. I get that. It's fine."

Eddie let Danny readjust himself into his seat after his little outburst. His hand moved up to his forehead to lean against it as he continued staring at the passing view. It could have been put down to jet leg, but ulimately it was exhaustion plain and simple. Danny didn't just look ratty, he was ratty. Eddie glanced in the mirror again. 

"Is he always this grouchy Charlie?" He teased. 

"Yes sir," Charlie said.

Danny rolled his eyes which didn’t help his case.

"Oh you don't have to call me sir, I'm grandpa to you," Eddie assured him. 

"Yes, um, Grandpa," Charlie mumbled.

"I'm not being grouchy ok? I’m just tired. I’ve just flown hundred of miles in a metal tube with my kids to spend Christmas with you, and it's hard to keep track of everything!" Danny said, sharply.

Eddie threw him a side glance so he didn’t have to take his eyes off the road for very long. It was enough to note his body language. The way he slumped in the chair and used his arm as a pillow because his shoulders were sagging. Not to mention those bags under his eyes.

"You been sleeping son?" Eddie askes quietly.

Danny cleared his throat quietly to avoid answering. When that didn’t work he muttered, "Not for a while, no."

Now back in Hawaii saying something like that would have had his whole team descending on his house at all times of the night to do whatever they could that meant he could get some sleep. Hell, if he pushed it a little and agreed to never, ever, breath a word about it, he suspected he could get Lou to begrudingly agree to spoon him. Adam might catch on to him taking the piss and refuse, but Lou would probably spoon him just to spite him for trying his luck. Jerry, well, Jerry would offer to first. The team would do all they could to support him.  
However this was not Hawaii, and this was not his team.

"Mmm. Well the holidays are a stressful time," Eddie simply said with a shrug. 

"Believe me, I know," Danny agreed.

"Especially for single parents," Eddie added.

Danny frowned. He shifted uncomfortably. "I'm no- I’m not a single parent, their mom is still around, that’s two parents. Not one, two."

"Well, do you have a partner?"

"Why is that any of your business?"

"Save it, I already know you don't. If you tell your mom anything, assume I always know," Eddie smirked. 

"I always do," Danny muttered bitterly. 

Eddie chuckled to himself. He loved Clara, they all loved Clara. She was the head of the family. And she was a terrible, terrible gossip. There was no avoiding that.

"You’re a single man, raising his kids. You’re co-parenting with Rachel- how is she by the way?"

"She’s good, she's- shes good."

"Good, I'm glad. But you’re not parenting with anyone in your corner. No partner. You’re a single dad."

"I-" 

As much as the phrase bothered him, Danny had not thought about it in any real detail since he had left Jersey a decade ago. He was a single father now, whether he liked it or not, but he hadn't considered himself one because he had always had help. With that dawning realisation he could feel himself taking one step closer to a midlife crisis.

"I dont want to talk about it in front of my kids," he declared.

Eddie glanced back in the rear-view mirror to check in on them since they had been so quiet since the airport. He smiled to himself. "I wouldn’t worry about that."

Danny frowned, and turned to check on the kids. Grace was leaning against the window with her headphones in and her eyes drowsy, but Charlie was asleep. His head was lolled back against the chair and his mouth was hanging open. Neither were listening to a word that had been said.   
Both kids were woken up by a jolt as Eddie hit a pothole at the end of their road though. 

"Are we nearly there yet?" Charlie groaned.

"We're here kiddo," Eddie said.

Charlie sat up in the back seat to take in the new sights. He had no idea where he was. This place, as important as it was to his family, meant nothing to him. Charlie didn't even have the connection to this street that the others did. There would have been a sense of new wonder on his face at the scenery but he instantly winced at the flashing christmas lights that filled his eyes.

"I see ma has toned down in her old age," Danny said.

"I wouldn’t say that to her, but yes," Eddie nodded. 

He pulled into the drive way, boxing Eric's truck in as he did. Danny held open the car door for Charlie who instantly stuck to his side again. He had never known Charlie to be so shy. Grace peeled herself out of the car and moved to the trunk to help Danny and Eddie carry the bags. When they reached the doorstep, all of them paused to listen to the muffled yelling coming from inside. Charlie's face fell, concerned, while Grace looked surprised. Danny, however, looked rather nostalgic. 

"Is there anything better than reaching home for Christmas to find a war raging in your house?" Eddie asked.

Danny cracked a warm smile for the time in days. It had been years since he had come home to hear arguing at Christmas. Of course he didn't _want_ his family to argue, especially at christmas, but they never did. As parents they actively avoided arguing around Grace in particular, just in case. But as much pain as they brought, he couldn’t help the nostalgic warmth it put into his chest. It was comforting in its way. This was the only real permanence in his life.   
No matter what else happened anywhere else in the world, there was always an argument in Jersey. 

"It finally feels like Christmas," he said to Eddie.

Eddie opened his mouth to ask Danny what he meant but the wistful smile answered for him. Eddie couldn't help laughing at that. He remembered Danny growing up. That kid started as many arguments as he ended, even if that meant taking a punch to the face to do it. He never met an argument he didn't like. Grace huff impatiently behind them.

"So are gonna sleep out here or are we gonna go into the warm?" She huffed.

Eddie frowned at her. "You don't really want to step straight into an argument do you?"

"I've survived kidnapping, being held hostage, and crashing my car. Whatever stupid argument Eric and Vito are having isn’t going to kill me," Grace stated drily.

She took the keys out of Eddie's hand, unlocked the front door, and ushered Charlie into the warmth. Charlie wasn't used to cold like this, in fact he had never experienced cold like this before. He didn't care that he didn't know the house, it was warm, and he wasn't about to hesitate. Danny watched Grace haul her bag in like she had never heard of danger before. She took the risk in her stride and he was too taken aback to stop her. Again, Eddie laughed at the look on his son's face. He nudged him playfully.

"She gets that from you yknow."

As the door opened a waft of air brought the smell of cooking with it. Charlie's stomach grumbled. All the fears that were defrosted now he was lingering in the hallway were forgotten with the hunger. He ran down towards the kitchen following the smell. Doing so, he ran straight into Eric's leg. 

_"_ Hey _-ey_ little man!" Eric beamed. He bent slightly and held out a fist to bump, "gimme some skin."

Charlie beamed back and followed the same over the top secret handshake that he and Eric had formed together over months of babysitting. Danny dragged the bags in by himself and dropped them pointedly behind Eric. 

"Bump, bump, forwards, back, fish tail!" Eric counted each beat at they went, and finally raised his palm for a high five that Charlie had to jump to reach, "Nice!"

Grace laughed warmly at them, "nerd."

"Is that my little girl?!" Clara gasped as she came up out of the basement. 

"Grandma!"

Grace's voice rang through the house like a bright bell. Steve dropped the argument instantly and swung around to look at the half wrapped box in horror. Vito sneered. He enjoyed any minor victory. 

"Hey ma, merry Christmas," Danny's voice drifted after Grace's, making Steve's heart race urgently.

Clara frowned hard at her son. He raised his arms out to hug her and she stopped him by grabbed his chin with one hand. He tugged to escape, but she wouldn't let him so he gave up. Clara moved his head from side to side, examining his eyes. Danny was fully aware of how dark the circles had gotten, as well as how red his eyes were, but it was his new rough five o'clock shadow and the fine lines around the corners of his eyes that troubled Clara. 

"When was the last time you slept?" She asked, accusingly. 

"It's jet lag ma, don't worry about it," Danny lied.

Clara hummed dubiously and shot a look at Eddie as though this was somehow his fault. Avoiding her gaze, Eddie made a beeline for the brandy.

While Danny was still out of the room, Steve still had a chance, however slim, to jump into the box and salvage his surprise. Steve made a jump for the box and tore it open, tearing the paper with it. That caused Vito to laugh at him. As baffled as he was by Steve's dedication to the bit, watching a fully grown man trying to climb into a box was always entertaining. Especially when his legs bent and he fell into it, ripping the cardboard as he went.

"Where’s that little grandson of mine, oh, I bet he’s so grown up now," Clara grinned.

"Yeah, where has he gone?" Danny asked.

He glanced around to search for some kind of clue as to where Charlie had scurried off to. 

"I think he went in here," Grace said.

Steve had one leg in the box, and one leg stabilising it when Grace walked in. She scanned about to look for Charlie, before her gaze settled on Vito. Vito lit up and raised his arms to offer her a hug. Her smile started to grow in response, but froze when her eyes moved past him. The shock passed through her body like a ghost, chilling her insides as it went. She couldn't believe what she saw.

"Uncle Steve?"

Danny's heart sank and the warmth in his chest dimmed. He didn't want to think about Steve anymore. He was home. Back in New Jersey. Surrounded by his childhood and his family and the people he loved. Steve was the furthest thing from his mind, even if he wasn't out of Grace's. Danny began to console himself with the idea that she would forget about him for a while as the days passed. Until, that is, Charlie went running past him, into the sitting room.

The boy screamed in excitement.

" ** _Uncle Steve!_** "

All the colour drained from Danny. It couldn't be... he wouldn't have... would he? He glanced at Clara. Her grin... that mischievous sparkle in her eyes... she knew something.

"Go on, go look," she ushered, grinning. 

Danny's lungs stopped working. He couldn't find the air to filled them. But he stepped into the sitting room after his children. Grace was still frozen in shock. Danny had to move her to one side so he could pass by and see his son. Charlie was climbing up the side of the box to try and throw his arms around the man inside. He was so desperate to reach his uncle that the box was ripping underneath him. 

Danny's heart throbbed against his aching lungs to see Steve half in and half out of the box. With Charlie climbing up at him he felt the safest thing to do was bring his other leg into the box, and lift Charlie up to him. Charlie's arms flailed desperately to claw at Steve, beaming so brightly that sunshine paled in comparison. 

"Uncle Steve, uncle Steve, uncle STEVE!" He giggled in delight, like he couldn't believe this was real.

That sentiment his family shared.

"Aloha Charlie! Wow, look how big you've gotten!" Steve laughed brightly back.

Charlie squealed and threws his arms around Steve's neck. He buried himself against his uncle's chest like he would never let go. Steve beamed. His chest soothed in a way that he didn't know it had been aching. Steve had been so used to the sense that something was missing that he had become numb to it. But with Charlie in his arms, surrounded by family, that wasn't missing anymore.

Steve looked up, expecting Danny to be overwhelmed. Joyous but of course shocked. Steve had been expecting Danny to crack a smile and wander over to also give him a hug. He had not expected this statue frozen in place, staring at him like he was a ghost. There was something haunted about his look, beyond the expected surprise. Steve sat Charlie on his hip and waved to Danny with his free hand. 

"Merry Christmas Danno," he said.

Danny blinked twice to try and knock himself out of the shock. The throb of his heart ached as it hit his ribcage. The rush of blood through his ears was deafening, and he felt dizzy from lightheadedness. While he couldn't find words to say to Steve, when he saw Vito, the words returned to him. Danny gestured at Steve as though he wasn’t a living being, but some kind of new furniture.

"What the hell is this?"

"A SEAL I believe," Vito shrugged. 

"I thought ma wasn’t allowed to invite homeless vets anymore since the marine incident," Danny said bitterly.

Minutes ago Vito had been ripping into Steve, but now Danny was here there was more to it than just winding him up. There was something deeper. Something Vito wisely didn't want to get involved in.

He raised his hands up innocently to shrug, "Nothing to do with me."

Steve's smile faded as he watched Danny suck in his lips as he glared at Vito. It wasn't often that Danny was too involved in a situation to be unable to look at the person he was talking about. He wasn't the kind of person who bothered with the passive side of aggression. Unless he was more than just angry. Sometimes it was difficult to tell if Danny was furious or just worried. He yelled for both. But this wasn't quite yelling. His tone came out the way it usually did when he was too revved up and confused to try and figure out what he was actually feeling. Loud, sharp, and bitter.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Danny demanded.

Steve frowned in confusion. "Hold on a minute, I thought you’d be happy to see me!" 

"I am!" Charlie beamed.

Steve grinned back at him, "Thanks buddy."

"That uh, that doesn’t answer my question," Danny said.

"You wanted me to come," Steve argued.

"I wanted you to come?! I-I- I never said that!" Danny argued stubbornly. 

"You didn’t need to I could hear it in your voice," Steve said.

He said it as gently and seriously as he could. He was utterly earnest in his concern. But Danny scoffed furiously. His mind defended him from a breakdown in front of his whole family by being unable hear anything but arrogance. 

"My voice?!" He repeated, furiously. 

"Yeah, you sounded stressed. You still sound stressed-"

"What the hell's the matter with you, you just drop in on my family at Christmas without even asking?!"

"I thought you’d be happy to see me!"

Danny raised his hand to Steve's chest so Steve shifted Charlie out of the way. The urge was to keep arguing until things made sense, but something sparkly distracted him. Steve's shirts were usually neat. Alright, maybe they had old faded blood stains or stitches where bullets had broken them, but they were tidy. This one, his favourite dark blue shirt, one he wore a lot and complained if he ever spilt food on it. Now he had green glitter caught on the buttons.

"Is that glitter?" Danny asked, distracted. 

"No its sparkly dandruff. of course its glitter! But that’s nothing to do with this," Steve scoffed.

Quietly, utterly baffled, he muttered, "But you hate glitter..."

Danny's anger subsided for a moment. His gaze flicked up onto Steve, revealing the exhaustion that was raking his body. Steve frowned in concern. Neither got a word in before Clara came back into the sitting room, drying her hands on a handtowels as she did. She took in the tension of the room with surprise and confusion.

"What’s all this shouting? I thought you’d be happy to see him Danny, its been so long-" 

Danny spun around to face her, betrayal painted on his face. "You knew about this?"

"Of course I did, Steve asked to come, he’s got manners," Clara said.

A stab of guilt at the baseless accusations hit Danny’s stomach. His breathless lungs gagged for air. When he felt the hot tears sting at his tired eyes, and his defence system revved back up to protect him from that embarrassment. He couldn’t cry in front of his family. It wasn’t the done thing. Not here.

"Animal manners, the man's a gorilla," Danny declared.

"A gorilla? That’s a new one. Tell me Charlie, does Danno sit around in a room by himself and think these up for hours at a time?" Steve joked to Charlie. 

Charlie's beam had faded when Danny started yelling but now it returned as wide as ever as he giggled brightly at Steve. That did not help Danny's mood. Instead he felt that hauntingly familiar cocktail of pain and jealousy in the pit of his stomach. This one was different to the one Stan caused though. This one came with a slither of betrayal that slammed against his chest when Charlie latched his arms and legs around Steve’s torso like a koala.

Stan stealing his kids affection was one thing, but his best friend was a whole other.

At the look of hurt and exhausted offence on his face, Steve's stomach dropped. Maybe this hadn't been the best idea. Maybe he should have called. But it had all seemed so perfect in his mind - it felt like the right thing to do... But Steve never wanted to hurt Danny.

“Danny if you’re not okay with this I can go and stay in a hotel-"

 **“No!”** Grace whined urgently.

It was the first thing she had managed to say since the shock eased off. It was more of a gag, like an automatic reflex. She was utterly furious at him, shocked at this being sprung on her, and desperate for him to stay. All of it came out in one desperate impulse. Danny glanced at her, feeling that same betrayal in his stomach.

Funny thing about feelings is that no matter how valid you think they are, sometimes just looking at how someone else is affected by the same situation really changes your reaction. Grace’s knuckles had turned white as she clenched her fists, sticking close to the wall, with wide fearful eyes stung with tears. That imagine, that exact expression, was printed permanently in Danny’s heart. He hadn’t seen it since he moved out of Rachel’s. It broke his heart then, and it ached those old wounds now.

This was supposed to be a happy moment, and the only one who seemed to appreciate it was Charlie. Danny’s shoulders eased as the guilt took over. He glanced back at Steve. His mouth was open, but he had no words. His big blue eyes were full of worry. That tugged on Danny's heartstrings. The realisation that he had over reacted weighed heavily on his chest, but the anger sat there too. As much as he wanted to hug Steve and apologise and thank him for doing something so ridiculous like this, he didn't know how. His anger wouldn't let him. He just couldn't. So he didn't. 

Danny waved a hand in the air and interrupted everything rattling in his head to say, "Whatever, whatever, I'm too tired to care! Eric take my case to my room."

Eric scoffed, "Do I look like a servant to you?" 

"Do you want me to bust your jaw so you can't eat Christmas dinner? No, so where are we going?" Danny asked sharply.

Steve felt a bubble of pride to hear his partner echo his own threats. On some low level they were still in sync. But Eric wasn’t the same kid who had left Jersey to go under his wing in Oahu. He wasn’t going to allow himself to be bullied by his uncles anymore. 

"You're not the boss of me," he said stubbornly.

Danny raised an eyebrow and asked, plainly, "Are you seriously forgetting that I am literally the boss of you?"

"Maybe at home but not here," Eric said.

An icy chill gripped the room. Both Eric and Danny froze with it. Tension grew between the family members that made Steve feel unsafe. Especially when Vito slowly sat forward in his chair. Steve instinctively gripped Charlie protectively.

"Did you just - did he just call _Hawaii_ home?!"

Eric gulped. "No, c'mon uncle Vito yknow what I mean-"

It was too late.

"New Jersey is home. New Jersey is where you were raised ya bum! It's in your blood, its who you are! You wouldn't have half the chances you did if it weren't for this city and don't you forget it!"

There was more to Vito's rant and all of them knew it, but emotions were running high and they didn't want to hear it. 

"I can't listen to this, seriously what room am I going to, I'll take it myself," Danny asked Clara.

"You're in the spare room with Steve." 

His heart thudded again.

"With St- you've got the single beds we told you to get though right?"

Clara took the opportunity to wind him up further. "They were expensive! Besides there’s nothing wrong with the old double."

"The double?! You're killing me ma, you're killing me."

As Danny looked devastated Steve, who knew she was lying, flashed Danny a cocky grin. "I've got the right side of the bed."

Danny rolled his eyes hard enough to move his entire head and stormed out of the room.

"Danny - Daniel!" Clara called to stop him. 

Danny grabbed his bag and stormed up the stairs without acknowledging her.

"We're just yanking your chain Danny! Why are you being so serious?" Steve called after him. 

"Lighten up uncle D, its Christmas!" Eric called too.

A door slammed upstairs, silencing them. Charlie whined softly so Steve squeezed him gently to reassure him. His hand laid on the back of Charlie's head, automatically supporting him, like he had the very first time they ever met. Of course back then Charlie couldn't support his own head.

As the dust cloud began to settle, a silence cloaked the room. Bitterness spread out in a dozen different ways, but it was mixed with confusion too. Steve sighed heavily, utterly bewildered by what had just happened. His attention suddenly fell on Grace. She looked incredibly uncomfortable, but she also hadn’t said a word since she gagged at the idea of Steve leaving. He cleared his throat to stop her staring at her shoes.

"Aloha Gracie, how you been?" He asked, cautiously. 

Grace wrapped one arm around her stomach, holding onto her other arm to do so. Her head twitched as he spoke to her, but she didn't dare meet his eye. The girl looked like a nervous toddler as she did.

"Aloha uncle Steve."

Steve tilted his head at her. Last time he had seen her Grace was halfway down the drive before Danny called her back to kiss her goodbye. She had instinctively moved to kiss his cheek, and then Steve's straight after. His heart had grown a size as he watched her hurry off, laughing brightly as she joined the friends who were waiting for her. Now she looked wary of him.

Steve sighed heavily, so Charlie squeezed him tightly and affectionately, to reassure him. Steve was beyond grateful for him. This entire thing had been poles away from the idea he'd had in his head and he had no idea what had gone wrong. Now he felt like a fool standing in a box. At least Charlie was happy.

"Excuse me," he said to Charlie and set him back down on the floor. "Vito, help me outta here will ya?"

A small, sly sneer slithered onto Vito's lips. He rose to his feet. Eric sat up in his seat to watch Vito and Steve bicker while Charlie moved to sit with Grace. She wrapped her arms around the middle to comfort herself. Charlie was used to being passed around like a security blanket, even if he didn't know he was doing it.

The three cousins watched as Steve tried to keep his balance inside the cardboard despite the way Vito tried to tip the box enough to spill him out onto the floor. Clara rolled her eyes as the sound bickering rose again, and walked back to the kitchen to check on the food.

Steve's idea was that Vito would syand still and help support him as he climbed back out of the box vertically. Vito had other ideas. He had managed to tilt the box enough that Steve's weight counterbalanced it but if Vito either tilted it more or let it fall, the box would tumble over. Steve was unaware of this fact. He was was part way through threatening Vito when Vito sneered at him. 

The box tilted and went crashing to the floor, spilling the navy SEAL out onto the rug infront of the fireplace. It hit the edge of the mantle on the way down, which Steve too then hit. Charlie gasped as Grace bit back a giggle. Eric did not hide his laughter. He just wished he'd filmed this for Danny to see later. Steve scrambled to his feet, ignoring the bruises already forming on his back, to yell at Vito for being an idiot. Immediately Vito yelled back.  
As the noise grew, Grace squeezed her arm around Charlie's waist. Suddenly she needed her brother as much as he needed her and was grateful he was there.

"Welcome to your family Charles. Do you like it?" She asked. 

Charlie looked around the room. The people he loved were shouting and upset, the people he trusted were laughing and being mean. His own father had been arguing and angry and stormed out without them. Steve now stormed out to sulk out in the kitchen, leaving more dust to settle in the sitting room. Vito huffed and left to join Eddie in his drinking. Charlie then looked back up at Grace. 

"It's loud."

Grace chuckled. "Yes it is. Come on, let's get some sleep. We need our rest if were going to see Santa tomorrow."

"Santa won't know what hit him!" Charlie beamed. 

"You still-" Vito began to sneer about Charlie still believing in Santa but Grace gave him such a dark look that he stopped himself, "uh, I mean, you excited to see Santa?"

Excited to share his plans for Christmas Eve, Charlie forgot all about the promise to keep this plan secret for Danny. Before Grace could stop him, he also told them about how she was going to get photos of the reindeer to prove Santa was real too. Vito's eyebrows rose thoughtfully.

"Oh, you wanna see real reindeer for proof?" He said.

"Yep! When Grace gets that photo, we'll know if magic is real for one and for all," Charlie beamed. 

"For once and for all huh?"

Vito turned to raise an eyebrow at Eric. He gave him a cocky smirk as an idea began forming in his mind. Eric's eyes widened and his heart beat quickened. He knew that look. That was the look he got about twenty four hours before the cops were chasing them down the street. He didn’t know exactly what Vito was planning yet, but he knew it wouldn’t be legal, and somehow, some way, Eric would dragged into it.


	8. Chapter 8

Danny didn't remember much of what had happened after he'd gone to sulk last night. He had taken the bed on the left, underneath the window because the one on the right had been given hotel corners. At home Steve left his bed looking like he'd just rolled out of it. There was comfort in the mess. But when he stayed anywhere, he always made the bed the navy way. There was good practice in manners.

Danny had collapsed on the bed expecting to fall asleep almost instantaneously. When he didn’t he assumed it was because he was too annoyed. If he had thought about it, he would have realised that wasn't the case. Honestly though, the only thing he was annoyed about was that he hadn’t thrown his arms around Steve like Charlie had. Months now he'd been dying for a hug from Steve. He wondered why it had to be Steve and had gone searching for a replacement.

At first he thought it was just because Steve was strong from all his naval training. That constant exercise had tell toned his arms. Since that habit was in another SEAL he knew well, he'd tried hugging Junior. It had taken a few awkward half hugs to draw him in properly, and even then it didn’t hit quite the same way. Adam was closer. Still something was vaugely off about it. Something felt too detatched and he wasn't sure what. In fact there had been about two weeks where he risked harassment claims trying to find a satisfactory supplement before Lou told him to stop it already. The closest he'd gotten was when he had gotten the same warm and friendly aloha hug from Rick, the owner of La Mariana, that he gave his friends, but even that didn’t hit the spot.

It had to be Steve.

Yet when he heard Steve's footsteps sneaking up the stairs, his heart beat faster and he decided, for whatever reason, to pretend he was asleep. He heard Steve take a deep breath outside the door. Steve didn't stop to prepare himself before anything. That made Danny feel worse. Steve cracked the door quietly, just to check in at first.

"Danno? You still awake?" Steve whispered.

Danny grumbled into his pillow. "No."

"Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you," Steve muttered. 

He could have let it go. He could have let Steve wriggle out of those clothes, climb into bed, and fall alseep while stewing in this uncomfortable tornado they found themself spinning through. But Danny couldn't just let things go. That's where the _passive_ part of the aggression came in.

"You didn’t mean to do a lot of things, huh?" Danny huffed. 

Steve's smile fell quietly as a lump formed in his throat. He sat awkwardly on the end of his bed and tried not to let on how disappointed he was feeling inside. The rest of the family had been so welcoming, but Danny was acting like Vito. Like he didn’t want him here... Maybe he had been gone too long.

"I can go if it makes things easier?" He offered quietly.

Danny's reaction was as instinctive as Grace's had been. He sat upright a little faster than he meant to as he yelped, "No! No, no... no."

Steve's head rose as Danny protested, and his heart rose with it. Maybe not all hope was lost after all.

Danny cleared his throat awkwardly and added, "Charlie would hate that. Where would you go anyway?"

Steve couldn't help smirking at the way Danny's mask slipped. He should have known that no matter how long he was gone, Danny was always, _always_ on his side. Sure it was begrudgingly, but he was there all the same. No one else was that loyal.  
Steve stood up to move closer and sat down on the edge of his bed, almost directly opposite Danny. Danny twisted on his bed to face him, leaning against the back wall as he did. He gathered up his bed covers into his lap though, because Danny had stripped down to nothing but his boxers to sleep in. While he was keenly aware of that, his nudity didn’t seem to bother Steve. 

"I was meant to be with Joanie and Mary for Christmas," Steve said, "I could just go back there."

Danny frowned. "You gave up Christmas with your niece for this? Why?"

Steve gave Danny a quizzical look, and laughed as he did. "How hard is jet lag hitting you huh? I'd have thought that was obvious!"

Danny's clouded mind was struggling to make sense of things. The jet lag was tough to fight with. He couldn't place any specific reason why Steve would want to spend Christmas with him, let alone leave Mary and Joan to do so. The knowing smirk that Steve held onto as he watched Danny think didn't help.

"Let me guess, you spent two weeks with Mary and she got frustrated at how easily you fit into a pig sty and kicked you out?" Danny asked.

"No, no, nothing like that. But it was... It was weird yknow? I was spending so much time with Joan but the whole time I was thinking about how much I was missing Charlie growing up," Steve shrugged.

There was a tinge of guilt in his voice that softened Danny's chest. "You've not missed that much."

"Maybe. But it was different. It wasn't as easy as it is with them," Steve said.

By them he gestured down to the floor each time he referenced the kids. Two floors down Grace and Charlie had pushed their separate air mattresses together to form a double mattress because Charlie had been hesitant to sleep alone. Grace was not thrilled about it, but she was too tired to be unhappy. Plus Charlie was like a big hot water bottle and it was chilly down there. Neither had been aware of the fact Steve stopped by to check in on them, or how he tucked them back in when Charlie's arm fell off of the bed.

"I checked in on them before coming up here cause I got into the habit of checking in on Joan, and it felt different..."

Danny arched an eyebrow. He also felt a pang of guilt that he hadn’t thought to check in with his own children before they went to bed in a strange house. At least Steve had. He shifted his weight as it hit as though that would make him more comfortable. The cold in the air was horribly apparent to him. He could practically feel his nipples standing to attention. But thankfully they hadn't turned the light on, so he had the shelter of darkness to defend himself.

Steve was also very grateful for the low light in the room because he was hoping that it provided some form of mask between him and Danny. Something to hide the fact that Steve kept glancing down at his partner's bare legs, just visible under his duvet. In the pale moonlight edging in from the gap in the blind, they shone whiter than ever. Although the tan line was new. And it was higher than Steve expected. Clearly while he had been gone, Danny had embraced island living a little more than he'd care to admit. 

"How so?" Danny asked. 

It threw Steve for a moment before he remembered the conversation they had been having before his mind went wandering. Steve shrugged.

"I felt like a guest. I know I was a guest, but when I open my doors to my sister, I always try to make her feel like she's welcome. Like she's home, yknow?"

"To be fair Steve, you live in your childhood house. It was Mary's home."

"Mary wouldn't let me do the chores with her no matter how many times I offered-"

"You never do chores at home, you don't even use a coaster!" Danny scoffed suddenly. 

Steve huffed defensively. "Hey, I cook! I walk the dog too, and do the laundry. And I always tidy Charlie's room while you take him back to Rachel's so you don't have to when you get back!" 

Mostly because Steve knew how daunting it still was to watch Charlie and Grace disappear into Rachel's house. Danny was always quiet afterwards, which was awful because after having two kids rattling around and filling every waking moment with sound, the silence was deafening. It never really got easier to say goodbye to his kids. Afterwards though, when he got back to the house and he could just settle in with Steve and relax, it felt easier knowing that he didn’t have to tidy away a big mess first. 

"She wanted me to just play with Joan. Just play. I was basically just a baby sitter, but I wasn’t meant to tell her off either. Mary wanted me to have all the fun with Joan and nothing more," Steve explained.

Even though it was clear to him that Steve was upset that his sister didn't want him to be as deeply involved in her daughters life as he wanted to be, Danny just shrugged like it was nothing.

"Yeah, I get that. That’s what we did with Matthew in the end. He kept visiting for a while, spoiling Gracie and acting like he was going to be a big part of her life. He always managed to leave right after Grace had gotten attached to him. She was bawling her eyes out every time he left like she did every time she had to leave one of her parents. It wasn't fair to any of us so we asked him to stop getting so involved when he was here. The best part of being an uncle is having all the fun and none of the responsibility."

His warning hung in the air between them for a long pause before Steve challenged it.

"Like you and Eric?" 

"That’s different. He didn’t have a father. We all had to step up for him to fill the gap," Danny countered. 

Steve frowned. "Then why wouldn’t Mary want me to step up for Joan?"

"Probably because she knows you’re not going to stay there. You can't plant yourself into a childs life and then just leave and uproot the. You can't do that to a kid!"

Danny hadn’t meant to sound a sharp as he did. He was still trying to quell his annoyance that Steve had just turned up in their lives again, and he feared Steve would leave in the same way. The house was already under a grey cloud without him, it didn’t need to get darker. This was worse than the cryptic note saying he was going to Japan. At least that had a solid explanation. 

"I know that Danny, obviously _I_ do!" Steve insisted - he had, after all, had and lost plenty of father figures - "But I... I guess I just wanted to matter to her yknow? I dont want to just be fun uncle Steve. Fun uncles let you down."

A silence filled the air between them. Some kind of low tension hung around them like a warm day with no breeze. They had been apart for so long that being close felt forced. They couldn't quite fit as well as they had before, and it bothered them. Neither were sure what else there was to say, but they knew there was a long unspoken between them.

"Hey Steve?" Danny said quietly.

Steve glanced up from where he had been staring at his knees. "Yeah buddy?"

"This might be weird considering how I just yelled at you and all, but... do you want a hug?"

In the low light of the room it was hard to tell, but Steve knew Danny had licked his lips. It was the awkwardly vulnerable moments like this when he did. And to be honest, knowing that Danny still had the same little ticks sent a gleam of sunshine through his stomach. Through the low light, Danny could see the sunshine when Steve grinned. 

"I'll take one if you’re offering."

If you say the word steaks around Eddie the dog, he would leap to his paws and trot quickly over to the door to get to the grill as fast as he could. Danny moved just as quickly as he clambered over his bed coverings to get to the blue eyes in the dark.   
Steve stood up, expecting the usual friendly hug they had shared a million times before. It took him by surprise when a short blonde Jersey boy practically threw himself against his chest like Charlie had. Steve fit into the hug like a plug into a socket. He wrapped his arms around his partner, and buried his face into the crook of his neck. 

_Oh,_ Danny thought to himself. When he felt Steve's warm breath on his neck, butterflies filled his stomach, _That's what was missing._

Danny didn’t seem to care that he was practically naked anymore. He clung to the hug like it was all he had been searching for months, burying himself against Steve. There was a safety in Steve's arms. They were strong and supportive and they soothed the restless anger in his chest. He closed his eyes as he rested his head against his partner, which was a mistake. Now he had closed his eyes, the jet lag was winning. Steve felt Danny slowly pressing harder against him as sleep took over.  
Steve was strong enough to take on the extra weight but he didn’t want to make Danny uncomfortable if he woke up in Steve's arms. Still, he looked so cute and tired that Steve let out a soft chuckle. It rumbled through his chest and into Danny's, which gave him a softer smile.   
Steve rocked him back to his feet and cupped his cheek gently. He ran his thumb along his jawline, brushing gently past the corner of his mouth as he did. The soft touch was a move Steve vaugely remembered from childhood, but it had been so long he couldn't really remember who used it. Danny absently turned his cheek towards the touch. His stomach was full of butterflies at the sensation rippling through his lips...

"Danny you look exhausted. Get some sleep babe."

That was the last thing he could remember clearly before he woke to the sound of muffled giggles in the garden, and the warm scent of cinnamon and coffee from the kitchen.

It had been the first time in ages that Danny actually felt rested. He hadn’t spent half the night wondering where Grace was or willing the phone to ring or worrying about where Steve was, so he could actually sleep. And no one had come crashing into his bedroom to wake him up or set off the fire alarm when they forgot they were cooking breakfast in the morning either. He could actually sleep!

Danny rolled over, half hoping that Steve was still sleeping beside him. He wasn't. The bed beside him was empty and had been neatly made again so he had been gone for a while. Danny reached for the bedside clock. He sat up in surprise. It was nearly ten in the morning, which meant back home it was nearly eleven at night. He had, for all intents and purposes, slept through the entire day.   
As he leapt to his feet to jump out of bed, the sound of light laughter caught his attention again. He frowned at the closed blind until curiosity got the better of him.

At the end of the garden a small cluster had formed by the decking. Charlie was laying across Steve's back, clinging on for dear life as Steve tried to do press ups. It was a lot easier with Joan, but hearing the boys bright giggles was worth it. Plus, the tougher weight was a better work out. Eric and Grace were sitting on the swing seat, rocking gently as they watched the scene. Eric was lazily counting off each complete push up while Grace scoffed bitterly beside him. All the two of them were missing was a blanket and a mug of hot chocolate each and they would have been like an old couple at a ski slope who only came for the view. Not that Danny had any personal experience with skiing, but he had heard Rachel and her family complaining enough to get the picture. 

Steve's idea had been a simple one. All he wanted to do was make the day easier for everyone, but especially Danny. So he had woken up early enough to make the coffee for Clara in return for yesterday's, and then he had cooked toast and made orange juice for Grace, and filled a bowl with fruitloops and chocolate milk for Charlie. When they woke up, Grace had begrudgingly accepted the toast, but refused the juice. She huffed at him as she did, and then curled up on the couch to play on her phone. Charlie wolfed down his cereal, moaning in delight at the taste of chocolate milk. Steve laughed affectionately and reminded him to brush his teeth extra well this morning. Both silently agreed that Danny did not have to know about this.

"Who wants to come and exercise with me?" Steve grinned at them after they finished their breakfast.

Over the rim of her coffee mug, Clara snorted. It was early in the morning and the kids had just eaten. They weren't about to go into the cold to do exercise. 

"I will!" Charlie threw his arms up in the air excitedly.

Clara raised her head in surprise. She knew her grandchildren had grown up surrounded by people who actually had to stay fit to keep their jobs, but actually working out with them too?! She was lucky if she could get Danny to walk to the mailbox when he was Grace's age!  
To top it off, he even dragged Eric out with them. That one really was a shock to her because she had watched Grace and Eric make plans for "just one little halo raid, you honestly won't even notice us!" But Grace begrudgingly obeyed because as annoyed as she was at Steve, she desperately wanted to spent time with him. She didn’t know when the next chance would be. So she brushed her teeth, and got dressed, she put on her coat, and she went into the garden, trailing behind Charlie and Steve as they went.  
Eric followed simply because he had nothing better to do.

"Impressive stuff," he said when Steve bounced Charlie off of his back.

Steve panted to regain his breath, and looked up at Eric. "Your turn then."

Eric's eyes widened, "m-m-my turn?"

"Yeah," Steve said. When Eric didn’t move Steve waved an arm to beckon him down onto the dirt with him, "Come on Eric. Or do you wanna do something easier? Like Charlie?"

Charlie was laying on the floor trying to show off that he had learned how to do sit ups. Steve held onto his feet with one hand to stop him from raising them as he moved. Eric glanced at Grace. Grace looked surprised, but there was a sparkle of mischief in her eye that encouraged something in him. Danny had been reluctant to let Grace and Eric spent time together on Oahu in case Eric was a bad influence. He never imagined what kind of influence Grace would be to Eric. Eric smirked at the silent gauntlet Grace handed him. He turned back to Steve.

"Alright. Do you want me to sit on like a bench or actually straddle you?" Eric asked.

Grace pursed her lips and bit her tongue to keep in the laughter. Her jaw tensed harder as Steve furrowed his brow.

"What are you talking about?" 

"You said its Eric's turn," Grace said, innocently.

"Right, so straddle or side saddle?" Eric smirked. 

It took Steve a moment, glancing between the two of them, to catch onto the way they were biting back their smiles. They knew what he had meant. He let out a breathy laugh and shook his head.

"That’s not what i-" Steve paused as an idea hit him.

Had Danny been there he would have put a stop to whatever Steve was thinking before Steve could even say it. That look terrified him. Steve glanced Eric up and down, trying to size him up. When he had been much, much younger, Steve had had to carry one of his fellow soldiers for miles. He wondered if he could still do it. That solider was around Eric's size too, and he had been working out a lot recently... Then again Steve was getting old now. He couldn't afford another hospital trip. Not this close to Christmas.

"Okay, Eric if you're not gonna help-"

"I'm not."

"Then Charlie and I-"

Grace scowled. "What, I get passed over just because I'm a girl?"

Steve blinked in surprise. "What? No-"

"Then why not challenge _me_ uncle Steve?! You challenged Eric, and then you went for Charlie. _I_ can do anything you can! You trained me to!" Grace shouted, standing up as she did.

Beside her, Eric slunk lower against the swing seat so he could dodge out of the way if things got out of hand. Eric had seen a lot of what Steve could do, and if Grace could do anything he could, she was about to become a lot scarier in her cousins eyes. Steve softened his tone.

"I don't doubt that you're strong sweetie-"

"Dont call me sweetie!"

Steve reeled back in surprise. He had called her sweetie a dozen times at least and she had never reacted like this before.

"But-"

"Don't be so condescending Steven, my name is Grace, use it!" she spat.

Grace's eyes were full of rage. The girl was so ready to start an argument that he was sure she would throw a punch. Steve had seen her punch before. She took after her Danno. He had a mean right hook.

"D'you want a challenge, Grace?" Steve offered.

Grace folded her arms stubbornly across her chest and nodded at him. Steve glanced around, as if searching for an idea. He didn’t want to suggest something he knew he was good at - she had to have a fighting chance after all - but it had been a long time since he last helped her train for anything. It was hard to remember what she was good at. More importantly it was hard to think of something he was bad at.

"Can you plank?" He asked.

Grace's heart beat faster. She hated planking. Rachel had dragged her along to yoga when she was younger so they could have a little "girlie time" just the two of them. It was supposed to be fun, but it was just uncomfortable really. All that stretching and tensing just reminded her of back then. But Grace was running on spite. She would have agreed to swim back to Oahu before him if he'd suggested it. Navy or no Navy, she would have found a way to beat him.

"Plank? Yeah? And?" She said stubbornly. 

Steve folded his arms and raised his eyebrows. "How long?" 

"However long you can and ten seconds more," She said firmly.

Steve chuckled. His eyes sparkled at the mere idea of a challenge. Tani was right. He was incredibly competitive. So he didn’t say another thing. He just got onto his knees and waited for her to join him. Grace regretted taking off her coat immediately, but stretched out her arms to fight off the chill. The ground was colder than she expected, but she grunted to keep in the gasp. Steve felt a swell of pride in his chest at how stubborn she was being. He liked this side of her. It reminded him of Danny.

"First one to fall loses," Steve said.

"I’m gonna enjoy it when I knock you off your perch," Grace purred.

"Yeah Gracie, you tell him!" Eric cheered.

"Go Gracie!"

"Hey!" Steve laughed, "where's the love for Uncle Steve?!"

Charlie punched the air with each syllable and stubbornly repeated, "go Gracie!"

Steve laughed again. It was only natural for the others to back up Grace instead of him. She was strong and she was related to them and he was cocky. Everyone liked to see someone cocky fall face first in the mud. Part of him wondered if he should just kick himself out and fall first to let her win, but the competitive side, well he physically couldn’t bring himself to lose. Even to a kid.  
The two of them laid in the dirt, both holding strong as Eric and Charlie cheered. Then they kept going. And going. And the cheers died away. And they kept going. And even Charlie got bored. But they needed witnesses to prove who won, so Charlie joined Eric on the swing to watch the two of them stubbornly sinking into the dirt. 

"It's nice to have a garden to exercise in. Back in LA I had to exercise in the kitchen," Steve said.

His arms were beginning to shake as he did. Muscles are actually incredibly heavy things and holding them up was difficult. Muscles also got tired. As large as Steve's were, they were old and it was natural that they became infirm. The weight of their size tired them faster. But Grace was young. Naturally strong. She was fuelled by stubbornness and spite and she had been trained by Steve himself. 

"It's hard in an apartment. There’s always someone d- downstairs yknow?" Steve continued.

Grace was also keenly aware of the fact that if she didn’t waste her breath on talking, she could keep going for longer. That fact has not come from Steve though. It had come from Catherine in fact. She couldn't remember exactly why Catherine had led Kono, Rachel and Grace in a yoga session on the island, but she remembered what she had learned there. Strong women were all around her and she was one of them. 

"And the people downs - downstairs-" Steve panted as he spoke, but raised his head to look at Eric anyway, "they didn’t like the noise."

Eric hummed dubiously. "Sounds like you’re struggling Steve."

Steve dropped his head as a headache began to form. "Nope..."

"There’s no one down stairs at home Uncle Steveo," Charlie said.

"No there isn't buddy, you're - absolutely right... but at home there's - the sea... swimming with - with Eddie-"

"Come on G-force, this idiot is talking himself into falling, you can beat him no problem!" Eric said.

Grace didn’t move. She kept her head down and focused on her breathing. She tried her best to ignore the way her arms ached. In the back of her mind, Catherine's voice lead the mantra. _Breath in, let the air flow where it needs to go, and let it out slowly_. As silly as it felt then, it stuck with her. Her breathing was under control, but her arms? They shook. 

"Ooh," Steve jeered as he noticed that, "you're shaking. Feeling - feeling tired? Wanna give up?"

Grace ignored him. She ignored all of them until a familiar but new voice declared itself. 

"My daughter doesn't give up so easily," Danny warned.

He folded his arms against his chest to try and pull his coat closer around him. It had been a while since he experienced a New Jersey winter and it was colder than he remembered. 

"Grace challenged Steve so they're seeing how long they can plank for," Eric explained. 

"Well they are both planks so it could last a while," Danny joked.

"To be honest, its pretty boring," Eric sighed.

"Who's winning?" Danny asked.

"Grace," Charlie and Eric chorused.

 _"What?!"_ Steve demanded. 

Whipping his head up like that caused his body to shift slightly, which made his hand slip against the dirt. Steve grunted as he regained his position. He hadn’t really fallen since he didn’t hit the ground, and he argued this immediately before anyone could accuse him of losing.

"Does that count?" Eric asked Danny.

"Uh..."

Danny tilted his head at the two of them. While any other time he would have pointed out that he just didn’t care, this time it seemed important. He found himself tied between the two. While he wanted to give Grace a break to save her aching arms, Steve had barely slipped. It didn't seem fair to let him fail. Besides, if Danny said Steve lost because of this he would use it as an excuse and he knew Grace could beat him fair and square. 

"No it's fine," Danny said. He clapped his hand and called into the air, "C’mon Gracie you're doing so good!" 

Grace grunted with effort as she adjusted her position. The dirt beneath them was almost frozen and the cold was seeping into her arms making them burn. Danny leaned against the wooden leg of the swing chair and watched the two of them stubbornly planking.   
His eyes glazed down Steve's back. Those muscles in his back were visible even through his shirt. Danny rolled his eyes at how they bulged against the fabric. Steve had clearly brought a tight shirt just to show them off. At least that’s what Danny presumed. 

"Wow. This is really dull," Danny said to Eric after a while of watching nothing happen.

"They've been doing this for a while, its actually pretty impressive. Boring, but impressive," Eric said.

"And Grace has been keeping still the whole time?" Danny sounded surprised. 

"Yeah, Grace is winning Danno, we said that!" Charlie reminded him.

"Yeah you did buddy," Danny said, perking up suddenly, "Way to go Gracie! Keep it up, you can do it!" He cheered. 

It had been precisely three minutes, but to Steve and Grace it felt like a year minimum. The energy was running out of Grace's arms now and she was running on fumes and spite. It was hard to focus on anything but the way her arm was quivering. Even Catherine's mantra in her head was fading back into Rachel jokingly pointing out how silly it felt to say. The laughter back then felt like ridicule now. But she could do this. She knew she could. She just had to keep her arms straight. However, Steve's leg was shaking. It was much harder to keep his leg under control as the exhaustion kicked in. When it finally came crashing down, Steve’s knee hit the ground and he grunted, pained.

Then Eric, Danny and Charlie sat up, suddenly alert.

"Did he-"

"She just-"

"I don't believe it-"

"He did-"

"She really-"

"She won! Gracie won! Yeah Gracie! Wooo! Yeah!"

Grace herself stayed stubbornly focused. Even when Steve collapsed to the ground and rolled onto his back. She stayed as solid as she could all the while the others were cheering for her. She was counting the seconds off in her head, until finally-

"Ten!" 

She heaved an exhausted sigh as she dropped to the ground with him. Grace rolled her head to look at her uncle. Both of them had flushed cheeks from the blood rushing through them, and their breath puffed out like clouds against the chill in the air. Steve couldn't even manage a smile yet.

"As long as you... and... ten seconds... more," Grace panted.

Steve blinked slowly, and then a smile cracked across his sweaty face. An impressed, incredibly proud smile. It utterly wiped away the ache of failure that had stung his chest moments before. Grace was undeniably stubborn, but she was also successful at it. Steve couldn't be more proud.   
Grace was so wrapped up in the sweet victory of beating her uncle that she barely registered the way the rest of her family cheered for her on the side-lines. Danny helped to peel her off of the floor and limp over to the swing.

"Are you okay, do you need a drink, are you warm enough?" He fussed.

Grace was still panting hard, trying to get her breath back, but she shook her head. 

"I could use a drink," Steve said from where he'd been left in the dirt. Steve went ignored. 

"That was really cool G-force, you really showed up that old SEAL, good on you. I’m going into the house now because my fingers are turning blue, but good job!" Eric said.

"Wait for me!" Charlie called after him.

Eric paused for a moment for Charlie to catch up and then the two of them had a small race to see who could get back to the house faster. Eric jogged, but still high fived Charlie for beating him. Danny had to admit, he didn’t want to be out here much longer either.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Danny fussed quietly. 

"Dad, I'm fine, seriously," she hissed. 

Danny knew she had to be serious too because she called him Dad and she only did that when she was fed up of him babying her. Danny threw his hands up and backed off.

"Alright. If you're okay, you're okay, what do I know I’m just your father-"

"Dad!"

"I'll be in the house if you need me."

Danny stood up and kissed the top of her head before turning to jog back to the house. He too left Steve on the ground. He didn’t even look at him before he left. The satisfaction of knowing he'd lost to a teenage girl was enough for now. He didn't know that Steve lifted his arms into the air like a doll to try and get him to pull him to his feet. Grace rolled her eyes at both of them.   
Steve finally pushed himself up from the ground and staggered over to lean on the wooden leg where Danny had been minutes before.

"That was a good performance Gracie. You really had me," he said.

"Cut it out uncle Steve, I know you tried to bottle it so Danno would say I won," Grace said plainly.

"I would never-" Steve began defensively and pressed his hand over his heart. Grace gave him a dark look, and his hand swung back down to his side. "How'd you know?"

"Because you would do anything to make us happy, even try and throw a friendly competition. Especially if you think one of us is mad at you," she said.

Steve shrugged carelessly. "Aren’t you mad at me? You’ve been giving me the cold shoulder since I got here."

Grace bit her lip and bowed her head. It dawned on Steve that she had a lot more to say, and he doubted they would have a better time for her to say it. He moved to sit beside her on the bench, which swung back as he sat down. Grace didn’t react as it did.

Steve held onto the edge of the bench and asked, concerned, "What’s going on Grace?" 

She kept her head down and sighed. Part of him felt like he was back in his office in Oahu talking to Nahele for the first time since he stole his car. She had the same fear and anger driving her forward right now, and Steve hated to see it. Still he knew the best way to get her to open up was to give her time to, so he waited for her to talk first. Grace stared down at her hands as she fiddled with her fingers anxiously.   
Slowly, she began to try and organize her thoughts beyond the thumping of her heart. 

"I... I'm... I just-" 

Her voice tightened so Steve reached to lay a hand on her back. "Take your time its ok, I'm not going anywhere." 

Grace groaned in frustration and pushed his hand away from her roughly. Steve pulled his hand back and folded both arms across his chest to stop himself from upsetting her again. He wanted to eliminate all risk.

"I'm mad at you," she barked. 

"Um, yeah, I kind of figured that," Steve said. Grace grumbled as she folded her arms. Steve softened. "Is it something I can fix?" 

Grace sighed. "I don't know." 

"O...kay..." Steve said slowly. 

The two of them sat in silence, except for the creak of the chains of the swing above them. Steve wanted her to speak first but the longer they both waited, the more awkward it felt. Eventually he couldn’t take it and cleared his throat. 

"How about you tell me what I did that upset you, and I try to think of a way to fix it?" He asked. 

Grace shifted quietly. Each movement either of them made made the swing seat shift and creak again. 

"You left." 

That hurt more than he expected. He couldn't fix that. There had to be something more. Steve looked at her, waiting patiently for her to continue. She rolled back on her heels to push the seat herself. Steve lifted his legs just enough to stop his own heels holding the seat down. He let her control this conversation in its entirety. She needed to. She cleared her throat, trying to push the bubble of hurt and anger down out of her chest. It was stopping her from being able to talk, which she hated. She hated the ball that formed in her throat too. 

"You didn’t say goodbye." 

Steve heard the ball. The crack in her voice. The way her eyes welled up. They punched him in the chest in a way that felt like bullets into kevlar. Steve knew guilt. It lived in him the same way that blood did. It was just part of who he was. But this one, the hot, stabbing, painful guilt that came with upsetting Grace, this one hit different. This one was new.

"Oh Gracie... Gracie I didn’t even realise..." 

"You were there one day, gone the next. We had plans," Grace said. 

"We did?" 

Steve didn’t remember any plans. To be fair to him, when he had been thinking of leaving Oahu his mind was cloudy. All he remembered clearly was the fear of telling Danny he was leaving, which was outweighed by the terror of the risk of losing Danny altogether. The fog only lifted when Catherine sat next to him on the plane. Grace, however, remembered the last conversation she had with him clearly. 

"Since you said you couldn't come to my graduation, you said you would come to get my photo framed to be able to feel part of it." 

Now that she reminded him, that last conversation came flooding back to him. He couldn’t help being impressed by her memory, even if it did fill him with guilt. 

"I did didn’t I?" 

"And you were going to take Charlie to the sandcastle building contest. He missed it because no one else could take him. He was heartbroken," Grace said, accusingly. 

Steve's chest ached all over again. "He was? But he’s always so happy." 

"He is happy. He's happy you're back and he can see you again, he is happy to see you, even if you didn't say bye," Grace said.

Steve turned over his shoulder to look over at the house. He couldn’t see Charlie through the window, but just knowing he was in there weighed heavily in his chest. Steve should have done better by the kids. That was clear to him now.

"Why didn’t you say bye?" Grace repeated breathlessly. 

Steve felt like his eyes had been opened in a way he hadn’t known they were shut. Years he had spent trying to see things from every angle. Every possible way he could think of, from every set of eyes he could think of, passed through his mind as he worked to stay four steps ahead of his opposition. But he didn’t even think about the impact he caused to the kids. He never even questioned it.   
Now he had to explain himself.   
Steve pressed his feet into the ground to stop the swing from moving and leaned his arms on his legs again. He felt her eyes weighing on him. 

"Can I be honest with you Grace? Now that you're a grown up, can we be grown up about this?" He asked, seriously. 

While the offer would usually have make Grace feel mature and respected and a little cocky, this time it weighed on her shoulders. She didn’t want to be a grown up. She wanted to be the three year old she was last time she was in this city. She wanted to have a tantrum. One that felt long overdue.   
Reluctantly, she nodded in agreement. Steve took a deep breath as he organised his thoughts. 

"If I'm honest with you... really, I- I didn't think... I guess I didn’t think you’d care," he admitted. 

Grace gave him a baffled sneer. Steve had seen it a thousand times before, each time after he devised a risky and dangerous plan. Each time, from Danny. Any other time that would have amused him. Both kids had so much of their father in them it was hilarious. It was endearing. 

"I wouldn’t care? Uncle Steve you’ve been like a father to me since I met you. I was a kid, my mom and dad were divorced, my step dad made us move away from home, then he and mom got divorced, then Charlie was born, then he was sick - at least you were consistent. You and Danno were always there when I needed you, even if I didn’t want you... why wouldn't I care?" 

"Well when you put it like that..." 

Steve took a deep breath to answer, and suddenly realised he didn’t have one. His heart had grown three sizes to hear her tell him she thought of him as a father figure. All this time he'd been looking at her like his kid, he'd never expected it to go both ways. He'd never even dared to tell Danny. He could still remember the moment he mentally adopted her. 

... 

Early into her time on the island, back when Steve had only met her a few times, always with Danny, they all had a day off together. Steve joined her and Danny for a day at the beach for the first time. Unfortunately she had just gone out to buy a new swimsuit with Rachel and had chosen a bikini. It was actually quite cute in its way. Bubble-gum pink with little cartoon pineapples wearing sunglasses, and little frills that looked vaugely like a tiny skirt. Not exactly the most overt swimsuit on sale. Still, Danny being Danny, he was freaking out on the phone to Rachel from the moment he saw it. By then she was already at the beach, wearing it. That left Steve and Grace on the beach without him. He paced back and forth on the sand while Steve amused himself by attempting to build a sandcastle and Grace sat on a deck chair, bored.   
Grace rolled her eyes at the yelling and told Steve she wanted to swim. Actually she wanted to surf but Steve talked her down the swimming. He didn't know why at the time (but he later put two and two together on board that dinghy when he told him about his friend and the undertow) but Danny was very, very clear about the fact that he didn't want Grace to go anywhere beyond the shallows. If he could talk her into staying out of the water altogether, he'd be delighted. But she wanted to play.

She wanted to go in the sea.

Since Danny wasn’t paying attention, and Steve didn’t want to be yelled at, he went with her. The two of them did stay close to the shallows while Steve kept an eye on Danny. He was barely up to his knees to make sure it was safe. He was so uncertain of what to do and he knew how much Danny adored his daughter, if anything went wrong, he feared the repercussions too much to go deeper. Grace was not though. She was also aware that no one was paying attention to her because Steve was too focused on Danny and Danny was shouting on the phone at Rachel.

So Grace splashed him.

Cold water shock didn’t affect Steve. It had literally been trained out of him. But the audacity of the child took him by surprise. That was enough to pull his attention back to her. She giggled so brightly that Steve felt himself smile back. 

“Oh you think that’s funny? I’ve got bigger arms than you, let's see if this is funny!” he teased. 

Steve misjudged how hard the splash would be and Grace almost sank below the wave. She spluttered back up to the surface and Steve filled with alarm. Instinctively he dove under the water to sweep her into his arms and lift her over the waves. His eyes were wide with concern as he did. Such concern that he didn't even notice that he had sunk into hip height now. Steve hadn’t quite finished asking if she was alright when she splashed him again, and burst into another fit of giggles. Satisfied she was ok, Steve grinned at her.

The surprise attack wouldn't go unchallenged though. They launched into a splash fight. The two of them half ran and half swam around each other, trying to dunk each other under the surface. As they went they drifted slightly in and out of the depths without noticing. Steve had been winning since he dove under the surface and pulled her down by her toes. When he let her go, she swam off a little futher and tailed back to get behind him. He pretended not to see her as he tracked the way that Grace snuck up on him. She stayed low against the water, where her long braids floated through the surface.

Behind her, the sun scattered light to reflect across the ripples of the water. They lit her pretty brown eyes with a youthful innocence. Both lights dimmed in comparison to the wonder of her smile. Grace was everything Steve had forgotten existed. A happy little kid.

Steve suddenly felt a rush of affection unlike any had had felt before. He didn’t fully understand it until she launched herself at him like a torpedo through the water. She flung herself around his neck, grappling with her feet to get a hold so she could, push down on his shoulders and head to push him into the sea. Despite his naval instincts, Steve allowed her to force him down onto his knees so his head ducked below the waves. Even though the rush of water muffled his hearing, he could still make out the way her laughter trickled through the air. When she was least expecting it, he erupted back up through the water like a volcano, and heaved her into the air. 

The difference in mass between air and water made her heavier than he had though, and since she was still clinging to his torso, he felt himself stumble. she ended up dangling over his shoulder, giggling manically, and screamed when Steve fell over. Both of them plummeted into the water, and below the waves. Steve scooped her back up, and held up close as she gasped for air. His legs floated beneath him, almost as though he was a body board for her to float on. She did sit on his lap to let them float together, fully trusting him to protect her. After she had choked the water out of her throat, she burst into laughter again. Relief flooded through Steve to know she was alright. Part of him noted that he needed to be more careful with her, but it was gratifying to know she was stronger than she seemed. Danny interrupted them at that point.

Disappointment marred the relief.

For that one moment, just that once, Steve felt as though Grace actually was his daughter. His real daughter. He had never considered wanting kids before, but in that instant he knew he did. A little girl of his own...

Steve swum back up to the shallows with Grace on his back, and followed her up the sand, back to Danny. Danny took the time to scold them both for running off and worrying him, especially with how far out they had gone. Grace apologised, smiling. Before he could continue to rant, she ran over to hug him around the middle, deliberately soaking him as she did. Steve laughed brightly at that, and louder when Danny lifted her up under his arm like a football and ran her back into the sea for revenge. She was howling all the way. Danny let her go as she started to float, and he lit up with utter affection.   
It was a moment of innocent joy and pure love. He could see it plainly on Danny’s face, and it made his chest tight. It was the exact moment that Steve decided he would protect Grace with his life, beyond duty to Danny. Because this had become his family. Because he loved her like his own. 

... 

"We were close back then huh?" He said.

Grace had been quiet again while Steve thought about how important she had been to him. It was something she had learned from her mother. Silence made people feel guilty. But Steve wasn't just anyone. Playfully he tried to nudge her back into talking to him.

Grace didn't react when Steve nudged his knee gently against hers. When he nudged her arm she tilted her head like she had been knocked, but her head rolled back to where it had been just as easily. She still didn't react when he shuffled even closer. Steve closed the gap between them by shuffling a little closer and leaning his head against hers. 

"Is this too close?" He asked.

Grace swallowed hard to stop herself from smiling, but her eyes gave her away. "Be serious."

"Alright, alright," Steve said.

He sat back up, but he kept close to Grace. Their hips were practically pressed together because she was too stubborn to move away from him. He pressed a toe into the ground to rock their swing gently as he tried to find an explanation he felt she deserved. 

"When I met you, I... I wasn’t in a good place..."

He had taken her request to heart and the serious tone took her a little by surprise. Asking her parents to treat her like a grown up never worked so when her uncle did, it was unexpected. She glanced up at him, waiting for him to continue. He did, explaining tentatively,

"Danno told you a lot I’m sure, and I know you're smart enough to work out a lot more. You probably know more than either of is think you do... Danno was the most important person to me on the island and you were - are the most important to him. Of course I was going to do my best to protect you too. Of course I grew to love you too. But like you said, you had your mom, a step dad, and Danno. I just assumed when you looked at me you saw one of Danno's friends. I didn’t want to say goodbye and make it awkward for you." 

Grace blinked slowly, like she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Steve... you've saved my life multiple times. Not just because you physically saved my life, but, like... remember that time that I borrowed Mom's wedding veil to scare my friends on Halloween? The old lace one that Stan's mom gave her for her something borrow? And I stained it, and you paid to get it dry cleaned and never told Danno so mom never found out?" 

Steve thought back to that panicked call he received the day before Halloween, years ago now. It had been out of the blue, and her terrified voice had sent the ice cold fear of God into him. The absolute relief to find out that it was just a stain on a veil was laughable. So laughable that he couldn’t help smiling now. She had panicked and called the one man she knew she could trust to deal with it. He didn’t appreciate that enough back then.

"That was a long time ago," he said. 

Grace nodded as if that was exactly her point. 

"You’re my uncle, uncle Steve. My ohana. We need you," Grace said, nudging him with her arm. "Since you’ve been gone, Danno's had no time for us anymore." 

"Is that why he left Five-O? Because he has no time anymore?"

He knew Danny's time was limited in the first place because work demanded that he be on call at all times really. Crime never slept, and major crimes even less. Steve had heard through the grape vine that Danny had taken a step back from the action and agreed to take more control from the office recently. Lou thought it was because he couldn't bring himself to trust anyone but Steve to have his back like that anymore. It was refreshing to hear that maybe it wasn't all his fault. But Danny would drop everything for his family. Everyone knew that. They were his blind spot. If he had been spending less time with them, then there was a reason for it. Something unavoidable. Something that exhausted him. Steve dreaded to think what.

Grace nodded solemnly and sighed. "I know he's needed elsewhere, but he couldn't come to the mainland to look at colleges anymore which meant I couldn't look at them, so I applied to all the ones we didn’t look at just in case. I got accepted into some, I'm on the waiting list for others-"

"That’s great!" Steve smiled. 

Grace shook her head, "It's not. They're thousands of miles away uncle Steve. If I'm not around, Charlie will lose a back up plan."

Steve frowned. He tilted his head again. That phrase ran through his head like an echo of something he had heard before. A long forgotten over heard argument between his parents when he was young. A phrase had stuck with him all these years. Family shouldn't need a back up plan.

"Grace, y'know your brother isn’t your responsibility right? No one expects you to drop everything to look after him. Especially not college," he said gently. 

Grace scoffed scornfully like Steve didn't know what he was talking about. Steve thought back to how defensively he argued back when people tried to point out he didn't need to be responsible for Mary, because she was a grown up. She was still his little sister. And Charlie was Grace's baby brother. Of course she wanted to be there.

"If I wasn’t there to pick up Charlie from school, Danno would have to pay for him to go to after school clubs or a babysitter or _Kamekona!_ They'd feed him so much that Danno wouldn’t get to have dinner with him anymore either. He only really has us on weekends anyway. He would lose so much time with Charlie and he'd lose me altogether! Danno would be so upset by that," Grace argued. 

"Wait- you’re finding it hard to pick a college, because you’re worried Danny will struggle without you?" 

"I know he would." 

Once again the familiar guilt spilled into his chest fast enough to make him ache. Steve automatically fell back into old habits. He wrapped an arm around her and squeezed reassuringly.

"Don't worry Gracie, Danny is a grown up-" 

She pushed his arm away in a huff. "You said you’d be a grown up too Steve. And you’d talk to me like one. Stop it."

Steve pursed his lips. He nodded acceptingly. "Fair enough. You’re right. Danny will struggle without you. Because he'll miss you. But it's because you're his little girl, not because you’re helpful around the house, okay? When I left, I left a hole I didn’t realise I had left. You, well, we know the hole you'll leave. But I promise you, I _promise,_ I'll still be there when you need me. Just one phone call away, okay? Same for Danno. I'll be there to pick up the pieces the moment you need me to." 

"Even when you're off travelling?" She challenged. 

The accusations tugged at his heart strings. As determined as he had been to find himself on this journey, Steve was just as lost as ever. 

"I will jump on any plane home in a heartbeat if any of you need me," he said.

He said it so seriously that he didn’t even need to promise it. It was just a fact that hung between them. A quiet oath to protect the Williams family whenever, whatever. And he fully intended to keep it.  
Steve dared to try wrapping his arm around her shoulders again. Grace didn't immediately push him away this time. In fact she didn’t actually react to him moving to touch her at all. Steve took that as a victory. 

"Danno said he'd make time to help me choose a college. If you want to make up for the time you’ve missed, make sure I get that help," Grace said plainly.

She could sound just like a gang leader when she wanted to. He wondered if Adam taught her that. Or maybe Kono. Maybe Clara. She'd been surrounded by strong, stubborn people all her life. Maybe it was just osmosis. 

"Cross my heart," Steve promised. 

Grace reached out a finger and drew a cross across his heart for herself. It made her feel like a child to do so, but it mattered to her. Steve couldn't explain why, but that simple action made him suddenly feel ten times more culpable. 

"As long as you’re making promises, promise you say goodbye in future. Otherwise I'll tell everyone you’re the father who abandoned me. Got it?" Grace warned. 

As serious as she sounded, the sparkle in her eyes gave her away. Steve laughed affectionately and nodded. She laid her head against his shoulder affectionately as he hugged her closer. They let the bench swing gently. The air was colder than they thought, but the hug was warm and reassuring, so Steve lingered for as long as Grace let him.

Danny watched subtly from the kitchen window. In the back of his mind be remembered the way he felt the first time he actually saw Grace hug Stan. When she hugged him freely, happily, of her own volition, like she actually liked him or something. It had burned him inside, eating at him for weeks, and making him feel physically sick.  
Danny didn’t like the jealousy that had been biting at him again for a while now. Ever since he realised how much the kids missed Steve, it had been growing in his gut. He had expected it to spike now, seeing the way Grace practically curled up with Steve, but it didn't. Instead, inexplicably, he felt a small warmth glowing in his chest. A bubble of affection that sparked joy when it burst. He was pleased to see her and Steve getting along so well.  
And that annoyed him even more. He stormed away from the window to track down Charlie. If one kid loved someone else, he still had another to love him.

"Do you think you'll come home any time soon Uncle Steve?" Grace asked. 

Steve pulled back and grinned, "Hey, I thought I was your dad! Call me Steveo." 

"I'm serious!" Grace laughed. 

"Me too!" Steve grinned.

He had breezed past Charlie calling him that earlier, but he liked the way it sounded. Steveo had a familial ring to it that he would despise anyone else calling him. Just like Danno. He could stand to be more like Danno. Grace smiled, but she looked at him like she was waiting for an answer. He cleared his throat awkwardly. As much as he wanted to give her an answer, he wasn't sure he had one.

"I have a few things I have to sort out first, but I'll come back. At least to visit. Definitely to help you move out for college. That much I will definitely be there for. Okay?" 

"Promise?" Grace asked. 

Steve smirked. He had been making a lot if promises today, but he was a man of his word. He fully intended to keep them all, and however many more she could pull from him. Steve pulled her in close again and laid a small kissed the top of her head. 

"I promise, monkey," he teased. 

Grace laughed and pushed him away playfully, "Shut up Steveo." 

Steve threw his head back, laughed, and clapped victoriously. He had the same reaction when he thought Danny agreed to call the restaurant Steve's. The pride was undeniable. Ridiculous, but undeniable. Grace hated how familiar and easy the nickname felt, but she couldn't help beaming along with him. 

"You're a goof, yknow that?" She teased. 

"Yes, yes I do. You're not the first to say it," Steve grinned.

People didn't really dare to insult Steve. He was a Commander after all. But when he did let his gaurd down and let people in, they tended to call him a dork. The only one who called him a goof was Danny. He almost always smiled when he did. It felt like a badge of honour. Grace chuckled warmly as they settled back into their hug. She was starting to feel the cold chill the edges of her bones, and as hard as she tried, she couldn't control the shivering.

"So are we good? I mean, if you wanna yell at me some more, that's fine, but... are we gonna get through this?" Steve asked gently.

Grace rested her head on his chest quietly. For the first time in months, the anger and the hurt had left her. After swimming through the unknown she had finally found her rock again. Although it wasn't quite solid ground yet, it felt a lot safer than the ocean around her. So she just nodded. No words necessary. Steve felt a wave of relief pass through him, but it was the gratitude that came with it that he hung onto.

"Gracie honey, we're starting the next batch of cookies! Do you want to help decorate them?!" Clara called from the back door. 

Grace sat bolt upright like someone had said a trigger word. Her eyes widened and she froze like she was waiting for orders. Steve snorted as she did. 

"Wow, redecorating cookies?! What could be better?!" Steve beamed. 

"Licking the bowl," Grace said. 

"The bowl's waiting!" Clara called. 

Grace wriggled out of Steve's arm like a fish out of a boat and leapt to her feet. "Well what are we waiting for?!" She yelled.

Steve laughed louder. He grabbed her abandoned coat from the swing seat behind her and chased her back to the warmth.


	9. Chapter 9

The kitchen was set up for baking. The sink was cluttered with equipment, and the oven was humming. The scent of baking cookies filled the room. Fresh, still warm cookies sat on the cooling rack on the side, surrounded by containers of sugar decorations, ready for use. Clara had caught Danny as he tried to dodge her and keep his gaze out of the window, and forced him into an apron. Charlie left the kitchen swiftly to avoid having to wear one. He took the mixing bowl with him.

Danny's chest warmed to see Grace racing across the garden excitedly towards the house to lick the bowl, just like she had as a child. But he was a lot more satisfied to see her running away from Steve, to him. Her Danno. She threw the door open and gasped for air, breathing in that warm smell of baking. 

"Someone said cookies?!" She grinned. 

"If you’re quick you can lick the bowl with Charlie-"

_"Charles!"_

She dashed out of the room like she had regressed by ten years of her life and was, once again, a giddy eight year old kid tearing down these halls after snacks. There was a clattering from the sitting room as Charlie panicked at hearing his sister full name him. The instant fear it instilled in him was well known to all siblings.

Well, almost all of them.

There was yelling followed by a squeal that made Steve's shoulders tighten. Danny just stood there rolling up his sleeves, he didn’t even try to intervene. The lack of reaction concerned Steve deeply. 

"You uh, you gonna deal with that?" Steve asked. 

"I thought you were being my kids dad," Danny muttered to himself.

"What?" Steve frowned.

Clara subtly smacked Danny and told him to he nice. Danny rolled his eyes as he took off his watch and tucked it into his pocket. 

"It's fine. They're just being siblings," he shrugged. 

Charlie screamed furiously as Grace snatched the bowl from him, and Grace yelled back when Charlie grappled against her to steal it back. Steve blinked in alarm and moved to interrupt. Clara raised a hand to stop him.

"You know siblings Stevie, they're just playing," She assured him.

"Me and Mary never fought like that and called it playing," Steve argued.

Clara's face softened as though in sympathy for him. "Never?"

Steve blinked in surprise. The age gap between him and Mary was never something he'd really thought about, but it wasn't far off of Charlie and Grace's. The only real difference was that Grace and Charlie hadn't been separated and raised in different parts of the country. He didn't have time to wonder about how different life could have been for him because Danny slammed a bowl on the side impatiently. 

"It's _fine._ They're bickering over the mixing bowl, but they'll settle down and share it in the end. Sometimes you just have to let kids settle things for themselves," he huffed. 

"Oh the bowl's all the way in the other room?" Steve said.

He couldn’t fully hide the childish whine in his tone. It sparked memories of the last time he had "helped" Danny bake, when he spent the entire time trying to eat the raw ingredients. And the mixed ingredients. And cookies fresh out of the oven. It was then that Danny had let him burn his mouth to make a point.

"Yeah because that's why you shouldn't be eating raw cookie dough, the commute," Danny said, sarcastically. 

Clara pushed a bowl into Danny's hands and quietly told him to mix the icing colours and shut his mouth. Begrudgingly, he agreed.

Steve gestured to the oven, "Wait, I'm confused, if the cookies only just went in the oven-"

"No the carol singers cookies just went in the oven. We bake a separate batch for them to have after church. Now we have to decorate the families cookies," Clara explained happily, "Then Danny can bake Santa's cookies."

Steve moaned in delight at the mere idea of Danny's home baked cookies. Sure, shop brought were fine, but home baked were better, and Danny's were something else.

"Don't get so excited pal, they’re not for you, they're for Santa, ok? Clue's in the name," Danny warned.

Steve lowered his voice and leaned forward to whisper, "You do you Santa’s not real right?"

"Shh!" Danny hissed at him, glancing at the door to make sure Charlie wasn’t around. Steve grinned at his alarm. Danny's protective steak was always endearing. "Yes I do know that, I also know that this is the last year that Charlie doesn’t know that so this is the last time I get to do this particular tradition with my own flesh and blood whom I love so much."

"Sorry, I didn’t realise Charlie still believed. I think I stopped believing when I was his age," Steve said quietly.

"I find it hard to believe you ever believed," Danny muttered.

"What'd you mean? You’ve seen that photo of me and my old man, when he’s dressed as Santa," Steve said. 

"Yes, yes I have, and even then you’re looking at him like a cop waiting to arrest him for breaking and entering," Danny said.

Eric suddenly entered the room as if he'd heard his name being called, except now he was nervous. "Breaking and entering, uh, who, err, w-who's breaking and entering?"

"Jeeze, relax Eric, we're not accusing you of anything, what’s with the nerves all of a sudden?" Danny asked.

Eric shrugged, shaking his head as he tried to search for an answer that would make him sound innocent. He couldn't find one though, so he changed the subject.

"I think Grace bit me," he said.

He raised a hand to show the bite wound on his wrist where Grace had definitely bitten him. Steve frowned in confusion, but Danny just sighed.

"I never took you for a snitch," he said.

Eric had never looked so offended. 

"What'd you do to deserve it?" Steve asked.

"I tried to take some of the cookie dough," Eric shrugged.

"Grace what'd I tell you about biting your cousins?!" Danny called.

"We're not savages like Uncle Steve, don't act like one," Grace called back obediently. 

Danny snorted. He flashed Steve a cocky smirk, which only grew when he saw how unimpressed Steve looked.

"Apologise to Eric, Gracie," Danny called.

"Sorry Eric!" Grace called again. 

Danny raised an eyebrow at Eric pointedly, as if asking if that was enough and they were finished now. Eric huffed and walked away. When Danny turned back towards the breakfast bar he was met with a very unimpressed look.

"A savage huh? Real nice, real mature," Steve said dryly. 

"Well maybe if you weren’t so aggressive all the time-"

"I am not aggressive! I happen to be the conflict resolution-"

"Shooting a person isn’t the only way to resolve conflict."

"That’s not all I ever do!"

"Stop bickering you two," Clara snapped.

Both boys obediently stopped their arguing. "Sorry Ma."

"Sorry Clara."

Clara cupped a hand to her mouth and called, "You know the rules kids, if you don't help decorate, you don't help eat, now come on! Gather round!"

Eric climbed onto a stool beside Steve so there were four adults around a plate of cookies and bowls of sugar decorations, ready to decorate and refuse to share. The children stayed in the sitting room to clean out the last of the bowl. Even Vito came wandering into the room to try his luck at cookie snatching. Clara smacked him away with a spoon until he reached past Steve to steal a dollop of white icing and dump it onto his cookie. She allowed him to claim it.

Eddie wandered in casually. "Clara the lights are going out on the porch, are the electrics shot?"

"They're probably strained by the sheer amount of lights. Y'know I'm surprised none of the planes have mistaken this for a runway yet," Eric said.

"Oh they wouldn’t. It's a jumble of lights, not a nice sleek run. I’m just saying, no pilot worth his salt would land anywhere near here," Steve said.

"Of course not, this is Jersey," Eric agreed. 

He was instantly berated by his other family members. In Steve's opinion, they were all playing up their protests. As proud as they all were of their home state, most of them had left it. Then again, sometimes it took leaving home to realise how much you love it.

"C’mon, he set me up for that!" Eric laughed.

As the complaints died away Steve explained how easy it was to pick the landing strip out on the flight path despite how bright houses around it were. 

"Y'know Maverick, you don't have to have you’re two cents outta every conversation," Danny said. 

"No, I do. In fact that’s what makes me such a good cop, because I know what to say to make people react. Like, uh, hey Charlie?!" Steve called out.

Danny sat upright and twitched like a meerkat. "What ar- what are you doing?"

"Yeah?!" Charlie called back. 

"Nothing buddy, you’re good," Steve called. He smirked at Danny when he lowered his head and rolled his eyes. Steve continued, "See, I got you all panicked like it was nothing."

"Oh so you’re gonna use my own kids against me just to make a point. And I’m the immature one?" Danny scoffed bitterly, "Ok, please."

"I can't handle that light, it's giving me a headache. I’m gonna fix it," Eddie decided.

"Eddie no!" Clara groaned. 

"Pop c'mon, its like thirty five degrees out there-" Danny began. 

"You’ll get tangled in the lights when you fall!" Eric said. 

"All right! all right! all right!" Eddie threw his hands in the air to try and silence the uproar from his family. Once they settled down, he continued, "Thank you for your lack of support but I am perfectly able to rewire lights on my own house. Who’d you think put em up there in the first place?! I’m not some old helpless old man y'know!"

"You said old twice," Eric pointed out. 

Eddie pointed back at him "And just for that, you can hold the ladder."

While the boys sneered at Eric's mistake, Vito's eyes lit up. This was the opportunity that he had been waiting for. He hooped an arm around Eric's shoulders which made his eyes widen in alarm.

"Ah c’mon now Eddie, you’ve been drinkin'! I'll help you string the lights, Eric can hold the ladder for both of us," Vito declared.

He yanked his arm sharply, dragging Eric to his feet as he did. Eric threw a helpless look back at the others. Vito got to the door before Steve stopped him.

"Uh, not for nothing but you're not in the best shape yourself Vito. If you need help, I'm more than willing-"

"Why thank you _commander,_ not for nothing, but we got this," Vito sneered 

Eric's eyes were screaming desperately for him to step in. He couldn't- and wouldn't- refuse to help his family, but if he could get someone else to do it for him, he wouldn't risk getting the heat for it. Unfortunately the attention was on the cookies. 

"Okay, well I'll be in the kitchen if you need a hand," Steve shrugged. 

"If we do, we'll ask Danny," Vito said. 

"Don't ask for me, I wont help," Danny stated.

"You wont help your own father fix the decorations on his roof? What kind of son are you?!" Vito accused.

"The kind who thinks no ones gonna notice one broken blub when the rest of the house is still causing seizures," Danny said.

"You could at least offer, like Steve did. Thank you Steve," Clara said, pointedly.

She reached across the table to pat his hand as she said it. Steve gave Danny a smug grin that made Danny swallow back a groan.

"You’re very welcome. I meant my offer too, but if I'm honest, I'd much rather be in here decorating cookies with you," Steve said.

Steve scooped up a handful of sprinkles and sprinkled them directly into his mouth.

"Hey, _hey!_ Put them down! They’re for the cookies you animal," Danny scolded. 

"I'm sorry, do you want me to put them back?" Steve asked, through his food.

Once again the bickering started. While they were distracted, Eddie swaggered off. Vito clapped Eric on the shoulder and half dragged him out of the kitchen. Eric groaned under his breath as they left. No help was coming for him though.

"We should get you a cage, yknow, one of those dog cages people put their dogs beds in. We should get one for you and just lock you in it," Danny said.

"Right, because neither of us have ever broken out of cages before," Steve sneered.

"Grace! Charlie! Come and stop your dads from bickering!" Clara called.

Danny choked on his response to gag, _"Dads?!"_

Grace held Charlie by the shoulders as she frog marched him back into the kitchen. He had cookie dough caught around his mouth, on his cheeks, under his jaw and even on his eyebrow. From the angles of the marks, Steve could tell he had literally stuck his face into the bowl to lick at it like a dog. Steve grinned proudly. 

"If that was possible we'd have done it a long time ago," Grace said.

"I know the feeling. Right, up. Sit. Let's get these decorations going huh?" Clara clapped to usher them on.

She took the bowl away from Charlie and dropped it in the sink. Danny winced. It was already full, another bowl just made more mess. Grace climbed onto the stool beside Steve so he grabbed the biggest cookie and put it on her plate. She grinned at him and he winked. Clara lifted Charlie up and sat him on the chair between Steve and Danny. Danny pushed the bowl of icing he had mixed closer to him. Charlie reached over the table across Danny to steal a handful of sprinkles, just like Steve.

"Hey! What are you an animal?! The more of those you eat, the less there is for our cookies, and you know those are Santa’s favourite decorations!" Danny scolded playfully.

"I think Santa’s favourites are the sugar snowmen," Steve said. 

"Why?" Charlie asked. 

"Because they dissolve on you tongue so Santa can eat a whole bunch of them and still have space for next doors lot too," Steve explained.

Grace lifted one up and laid it on her tongue to show Charlie how it melted almost immediately. Danny rolled his eyes as Charlie giggle in disgust.

"That makes sense. But the chocolate snowflakes melt in your mouth too," Grace said.

"Yes they do, which is why my cookie, is going to be a snow scene. See? We put the blue background, have some snowflakes falling up here, and a couple of snowmen having a conversation. Voila! What'd you think?" 

He lifted the cookie up for the others to see. The background was a nice pale blue, and he had dropped small white dots on it like snowflakes. Between them he had placed individual chocolate snowflakes above a pair of little sugar snowmen. 

"Awesome!" Charlie grinned.

"Awesome, really? Why thank you! Do you hear Danno? Awesome," Steve nudged him.

Danny forced a smile but he couldn’t look up from his cookie. "I heard." 

Steve grinned over at Charlie again as he set his decorated cookie on a separate plate to set. Grace glanced over at Danny. He didn’t have his usual smile.

"You okay Danno?" Grace asked. 

"Of course I’m okay monkey, why wouldn’t I be? I’ve got my whole family around me, what more can I ask for?" Danny said.

He forced a smile at her to try and pretend he wasn’t as annoyed as he was. She smiled back.

"Hey, when we finish off here, d'you think you'll have time to look at my college options with me?" Grace asked hopefully.

"Of course I will. Right after Charlie and me bake Santa’s special cookies, right Charlie? You excited? I know I am," Danny grinned at Charlie.

"Santa's special cookies always look so yummy when you make them, have you ever eaten one Charlie?" Clara asked. 

Danny and Clara looked over at Charlie. Charlie's face had lit up with worry, like he thought he was going to be in trouble. If he told a lie he'd be in trouble, if he told the truth he'd be in trouble, so he was on the naughty list if he answered at all. Clara bit back a smile and nudged him gently.

"Its okay, I wont tell Santa," Clara promised. 

Grace kicked Steve under the table. She implored him silently through her eyes to say something. He needed to keep his promise after all. He responded by giving her a baffled look until she rolled her eyes and it finally clicked in his head what she was getting at.

"Uh, hey, maybe, err, maybe you and me can make them this year Charlie," Steve suggested, uncertainly. 

Danny's eyes flicked up onto Steve. If looks could kill, Steve would have had another trip to the hospital under his belt. There was one thing Danny wanted to do with Charlie this year. One thing. And Steve was trying to steal that too.

"Excuse me?" He demanded darkly.

Steve gulped. He knew that tone. That quiet warning that he needed to back off. It had been a long, long time since Steve dared to push past it. He still remembered what Danny had done last time someone pushed him too far. Even so, this was important to Grace and he had made a promise. Steve pressed on. Danny's eyes burned into him as he did.

"I know it wont be the same without Danno-"

"Of course it wouldn’t be the same, its our tradition. We do it together, _e_ _very year."_

"And I’m not as good as cook as Danno-"

"You’re a terrible cook! You burn everything, I’ve seen you burn boiled eggs, I didn’t even know that was possible until you did it!"

Steve gulped. His tone was getting darker. Clara and Grace shared a tentative look. 

"But since you know its really important to spend lots of time with every family member at Christmas-"

" _Yeah Steve. Every family member."_

"So if I bake with you instead of Danno, he could have more time with Gr-"

That was it. That was breaking point. Danny slammed his fist down onto the table, making everything jump. The rest of them straightened up, alert. 

"No Steve! **I** bake with my son, **I** do! This is **my** family, I put in the time and the effort and **I** never left them! You don't get to walk straight back in here and take away the limited quality time I get to spend with them!"

He jumped to his feet at the same time to underline his point. Charlie slipped out of his chair and slunk over to Grace. He held onto the back of Clara's chair on the opposite side of the table from his father. Grace squeezed his hand gentle. It was more to reassure herself than to help him. Danny didn't notice him duck for cover.

"I want to spend time with _my_ family Steve! Doing fun things with my kids without the stress of home. My kids!" Danny shouted. 

"What’s that supposed to mean?" Steve argued defensively. 

He set his feet on the floor so he could have time to escape if Danny tried to jump him. He didn’t expect him to, but it was always in him to be defensive. Besides if his feet were on the ground and running was an option he'd sooner run than try and fight Danny. Last time he tried that his jaw clicked for a week.

"I want to be the one who bakes with Charlie before Santa comes, okay?! The reason those cookies taste so special is because Charlie and I put family love in them together! I want to spend time making those loving memories, I want them to have me in them!" 

"They're just cookies Daniel! You can bake cookies all year round!"

"They're not just cookies you idiot, they're the rare time I get to spend alone with my _son_!"

Steve had a lot more argument in him. It was in his throat. It was on his tongue. But there was a bigger problem to argue now. Grace leapt to her feet this time. The burning in her chest came too much to handle and she couldn’t keep it in anymore. Her hand fell away from Charlie's, so he clung tighter to Clara. When she wanted to yell, she could _yell._

"Well then _why am I even here Dad_?! If you want to spend so much time with Charlie, why did you make me come too?! All I wanted was your help picking a college so I can leave because I'm _l_ _eaving_ Danno! I should have stayed with Mom!"

All of the tantrums that Grace had bottled up to stop herself from upsetting her parents and "ruining" their limited time together, had built up inside her. That bottle exploded within her. It had to get out and so it did. Right here. Right now. At Danny. She stormed out of the kitchen, slamming the door behind her. After she stormed down the hallway, the basement door slammed shut too, and she was silenced.   
Eddie had done an excellent job at soundproofing that. The others felt an air of tension that hung over the room now.

Danny glowered at Steve furiously. "Great! Now look what you’ve done!" 

"Me?! How are you blaming this on me?!" Steve yelled back.

 _ **"ENOUGH!"**_

If they had thought Grace was loud, they had just found out where she got it from. Clara silenced them both by making the roof shake. If it took a mother to control a family, then it took a grandmother to control a holiday.

"It is Christmas eve! A day where it is your last chance at being nice to each other! I thought you'd love seeing Steve Daniel, you've been so mopey whenever we talk, I thought it would be a nice break. You need to lighten up, happiness isn't a thing to hide away from, stop letting your anger get in the way of it. And _Steve!_ You’re in our family home for Christmas. You are a guest, not a boss. You cannot take over everything. Family time is limited, you need to share it. Now both of you, go outside and settle your argument out there! Charlie and I will finish cleaning up this mess, while you clean up yours! Then I will deal with Grace, so _you_ can focus on _your_ problems! When you come back inside, I expect it to be a _merry_ Christmas! Is that understood?!"

"Yes Ma."

"Yes Clara."

"And wear your coats. Its cold out. We wouldn’t want you getting sick!"

Her tone didn't change. Even when Clara was mad at them she wanted to take care of them. Had Steve been less confused and less annoyed he would have taken the time to appreciate that. It was a lot nicer to be yelled at than shot at. They were practically shoved out of the door and their coats were thrown at them from the doorstep. The door slammed shut behind them.

Without their coats it was utterly freezing out here. It was worse for Steve, who wasn't used to the cold in anyway, but even Danny was shivering. 

"Great. This is just... great. Well done Steve," Danny sighed.

"How is this my fault Danny?! How?!" Steve demanded.

"You’re stealing my family!" Danny snapped.

"I thought _we_ were family!" Steve raised his voice. 

"Then why did you leave?! Family doesn't leave Steve!" Danny shouted. 

"You're gonna throw that in my face?! You're really going to throw that in my face?!" Steve yelled back.

Tensions were running high. Both of them squared up at one another, ready to fight. It had been many years since Danny first threw a punch at Steve and back then it hadn't felt so obvious that Danny was shorter than him. That didn't seem to come up whenever he thought about punching him. There had been many, many times since when he thought about doing it again. Many times he'd even come close. Same went for Steve. He restrained himself since he was trained for fighting one on one. And because he remembered that punch well. So this, this was the absolute closest they'd ever been to an actual physical fight.  
Perhaps they would have gotten there, had it not been for a drunk old man sat on a roof, wrapped in Christmas lights and sipping bourbon from a hip flask.

"Are you two here to replace the helpers I lost?" He asked. 

The pressure to fight eased as their attention was pulled away. The two of them fell back away from one another to look up at Eddie. He was dangling his legs over the edge of the gutter, twisting the wires together. He seemed perfectly content up there.

"Should you be drinking on the roof?" Steve asked. 

"What are you two doing out in the cold? Besides judging," Eddie asked.

"Oh so your whole family is melodramatic, great," Steve scoffed.

Danny glared at him again. "You and I, we're not finished here, but this is more important than you. Pa, why are you up there alone? And why are you drinking? That’s stupid and dangerous, and I will use that exact quote in your eulogy."

Eddie made a point of closing the flask and tucked it back in his front pocket. He did nothing about his legs hanging freely over the edge though.

"They said they had to go somewhere. Well, actually, Vito said they needed to go somewhere. Eric said he didn’t want to go," Eddie explained. 

"That could be anywhere if Vito is involved. There's a lot of places in this city you wouldn’t wanna be caught dead with Vito," Danny said.

"You could have stopped that sentence at dead," Steve muttered. 

"Are you really making jokes right now? Really?" Danny growled. 

"Hey, relax buddy, okay? Take a breath man, I'm only trying to help," Steve said.

"He- help? Okay, that’s hilarious, you're only trying to help," Danny scoffed.

"Can you two take this elsewhere, I'm trying to concentrate. One wrong move and you will need to write that eulogy," Eddie said.

They looked back up to see what he was doing. He had almost no protective gear and was pulling back the casing of the wires. It was hard to tell which wire he was holding onto since they were all intertwined, but the fact that all of them still seemed to be live did not comfort them.

"Okay, no, Pops, stop it. Stop it, you’re going to hurt yourself, just break the bulb and let it go. No one is going to notice one less bulb," Danny said.

"Oh sure we break one bulb and then what? Others start to go out too, huh? Pretty soon the whole thing is falling apart, bulb after bulb until there aren't any left at all... Take it from me champ, you always notice one less bulb. Even if other people dont," Eddie scoffed.

Danny and Steve shared a look as it dawned on them both that this was not about lights. They should have expected that. Nothing was ever as simple as it looked in their world.

"What’s that supposed to mean?" Steve asked.

"I dunno, he’s drunk. He's always drunk for Christmas now days," Danny sighed. 

"That sounds heart-warming," Steve muttered.

"Shut up, I know how it sounds! It wasn't always like this though, he never did this before I left," Danny huffed. "Hold the ladder."

The instant reaction to seeing Danny put himself in danger was to get protective. All the anger drained out of him. It took him a moment to accept that he really couldn't stop him. Any argument he could have made, Danny could have rebutted with what he had done in the past. There was no stopping him. But he could still hold the ladder.

"Let's get down older timer, come on, before you hurt yourself," Danny said when he reached the top.

Eddie wafted him away with his hand. "I'm almost done."

Danny leaned his elbow on the top step to press two fingers to his temple as he waited. Eddie had lied about almost being done though. 

"What's one less bulb pop? The entire house is lit up. Come on, what’s this really about?" He said.

Eddie huffed impatiently and dropped his hands into his lap, with the two exposed wires still in his hands. Danny flinched when he did.

"It's not the same without all the lights Daniel. They only look good when they’re all together. All of them. Even the broken ones. Even the damaged ones... even the... even the broken ones..."

Eddie bowed his head. He couldn’t bring himself to look Danny in the eye. He didn’t want him to see his old man cry. It hit Danny almost at once. The realisation about what this was all about. Danny had never seen his old man cry but he knew the one thing that had broken him beyond anything else.

"Broken like... broken like Matt was broken Pop? Is this all about Matty?"

Eddie sniffed hard instead of answering. Danny's annoyance melted away instantaneously. It didn’t matter how angry they made him, his family were family. After everything they were still going to be there for him, and he needed to be there for them, especially when others couldn't be.

Steve disliked the way the ladder rocked as Danny moved up it, but this was no time to point that out to him. He wanted to of course, but this wasn't about Steve. He didn't have any lines in this scene.

Danny climbed up onto the roof beside Eddie and sat down beside his father with a grunt. Eddie shuffled up to give him some more space. They sat together quietly for a moment. He was waiting for Eddie to talk first. Eddie offered him a sip from his flask. Danny would have refused, but his mind flicked back to the moment he watched Matt climb those steps to that plane. He could practically feel the cold fence against his forehead again as he saw in his minds eye, his bother vanish through the plane door. The lingering guilt was something he could never get away from. So he took the flask.  
Danny wrinkled his nose as the bourbon spilled down his throat. He had never been a big fan of spirits. Beer was good enough for him. As he handed the flask back to his father, Eddie tilted it in thanks. He tucked it back into his pocket and looked out over the neighbourhood with a sigh. 

"It looks right out here, but..." Eddie shrugged helplessly as his sentence trailed away from him. 

Danny looked out over the neighbourhood he had grown up in. From up here they could see for miles. All the rows of little boxes lining the streets, each one gleaming with festivity. Glowing lights lit the way down to the river. Beyond them, in the distance, the city gleamed. Tall and proud and shining in the dying light. Just as ever. Everything was the same as how he had left it, it just felt different. The air had changed somehow. It was his homeland, but no longer his home...

"It's different now, huh? Everything looks like it's meant to, but something's missing," Danny said, finishing Eddie's though for him.

"Christmas ain't Christmas without him rocking up in an ugly jumper, mistletoe over his head and dolling out presents yknow? He always went overboard at the holidays," Eddie said quietly.

He had a quiet amusement to his voice that Danny hummed in agreement with. Thinking back to all those Christmases before Hawaii, it was obvious to him now.

"Yknow all those presents were brought with money he illegally gained right?" 

"You don't think I know that?" Eddie snorted, "He took after Vito that kid."

"Nah, he was never that bad. He just never knew when to quit..." Danny said.

"And you do?" Eddie snorted. Danny frowned at him so he snorted again, "ah don't gimme that look. You're the kind of person who sees things through, even when it's better to let go. You know it, and so do I."

"I... I stay on top of things. Things that need time and dedication, I have to, I'm a cop-" 

"It's more than that kid. You take things personal. Like that girl you were dating before Rach, the one you took a beat down for? Above an beyond the call of duty. Or staying with Rachel when she went into labour with someone else's kid-"

"Charles's mine pop."

"You didn't know that at the time!"

"That's different though. That's family!"

"You're right, you're right, that's family."

As drunk as they thought he was, he seemed strangely sober. He didn't want to argue with Danny either, so he ended the argument before it could even start. Now Danny's defenses were down again, and he didn't know how to react. That anger was the urge to defend. Without it, he felt quite lost. Eddie continued talking. He stumbled over words now and then, and Danny couldn't be sure if it was the alcohol or the sorrows he was trying to drown with it.

"Nothing's more complicated than family. Give them all the love you've got and they'll still disappoint you in ways you'd never expect. Don't get me wrong, you and your siblings are the thing I'm proudest of in this whole world, but..."

"They do things you will never understand because they don't make sense?"

"Mmm. Like that time Matty decided he wanted a pet so badly that he didn't want to ask us in case we said No. He went out and caught himself a squirrel to keep it in the attic. Damn fool broke through a wire during the Jets game and fried itself."

"I remember. We had to live with the smell for weeks."

There was a soft but definite chuckle between the pair of them. A quiet humour they couldn't deny. Typical Matt, still making people laugh. Right up until Eddie let out a long sigh.

"I still miss him Daniel. After everything he did, everything he put us through... he was still my son. He was still my..." 

Eddie trailed off as his voice croaked. It caught in his throat as he tried to hold it back in. Danny laid a hand on his back and rubbed his shoulder gently. His own heart ached heavily. There was a lot he still wanted to say to his brother, but there was no one to say it to. There was no point saying it anymore.

"I know pops. I know..."

Eddie took another swig of his drink. The two of them stayed like this for a moment. Just looking out over their hometown, huddled closer for warmth, silently drinking in their mourning. The sunset around them added a minor gravitas to the entire situation. On the ground below them Steve had no idea what was going on, but he could sense the heaviness around them. They were talking about something important. 

"You’re shivering," Danny said quietly when he felt his father shaking. He gently took the wires from his hands, but Eddie didn’t let them go. "Let me do this for you. I’m sure we can get it to work if we do it together."

Eddie hesitated, but finally let his hand slip away from the wires. Danny nodded at Steve. He rushed off to find the power switch. It took him a moment but he did. Once all the lights had dropped out around them. Being on the roof surrounded by christmas lights had been strange enough, but being the only house on the block without them was stranger. Even though it was only temporary, the short blackout felt fitting. There was no logical reason as to why, it just felt right. Danny felt safe to twist the exposed wires back together. Eddie covered the wires in electronic tape, and their waited for Steve to switch the power back on.

The bulb was a lot weaker than it had been before it broke, but it struggled through and flicked on. Eddie and Danny cheered when it flicked on. It was a little victory, but still a victory. When they're few and far between even the little ones were valuable. Then they climbed down from roof while Steve held the ladder still for the pair of them. Once back on solid ground, Danny claimed that as another small victory.

"There we go. Solid ground," Danny smiled.

There wasn't time to celebrate it though, because Steve's mind was already elsewhere. 

"Not to sound like a broken record here but uh, what's so important Vito and Eric couldn't stay to help?" Steve asked.

"Vito said something about making this a night for Charlie to remember. I don't know for sure what he meant, but I think it might involve a snow machine," Eddie shrugged. 

"A snow machine? Why a snow machine?" Danny asked, baffled.

"He gave Eric a bunch of carrots," Eddie said, as if that explained everything. 

Steve glanced at Danny for clarification. Danny shook his head, just as confused as he was.

"I don't understand," Steve said to Eddie.

"Snowmen, right? What else would you use a carrot for at Christmas?" Eddie said.

Steve still just looked lost, but realisation dawned on Danny again, making him groan.

"Oh no."

That tone sparked alarm in Steve. "What?"

"I know what they’re doing. We have to put a stop to this. Get in the car I'll explain on the way," Danny ordered.

Steve leapt into action and the two of them fell straight back into their routine like they had never missed a day. Danny threw Steve the car keys as Steve climbed into the drivers seat of Eddie's car without either stopping to think about it. Between his explanation of his suspicions, Danny gave directions to Steve who followed them faithfully. He had no idea where they were going. It wasn’t until they were practically there that it even dawned on Danny that he was riding shot gun to Steve in his own fathers car.

"There's Eric's truck. Your hunch was right," Steve said.

"You sound surprised," Danny accused.

"Let's not do this now," Steve said.

"Agreed, it can wait until after we stop that idiot from getting arrested," Danny said.

Steve and Danny had found their way over to a petting zoo that had been set up to celebrate Christmas. It looked fairly old and slightly rickety. Steve couldn't tell if it was a temporary set up, just for Christmas, or if this was a permanent structure in desperate need of repair. Either way, it felt sketchy. It had been transformed into Santa's grotto too. Not very long earlier it was swarming with families getting last minute stocking fillers before tonight. Now though the security guards on the door was still ushering people out of the gate. 

"They haven't been gone that long, chances are they were here just in time for last entry," Danny said.

"They must have gone round the back to hide and wait for the place to close, if we split up we can cover more ground," Steve said.

"Calm and casual okay? subtle Steve. There’s still kids around and we're not licensed in this state," Danny warned.

"When am I ever not subtle?" Steve asked sarcastically. 

"I have literally seen you drive up a staircase on a stolen motorcycle to break up a drug bust," Danny reminded him.

Steve blinked plainly at him. "Your point?"

Danny could have argued, and any other day he would have argued, but right here, right now, he had more important things to focus on. Both of them split up to cover the area.

To avoid the security, Steve waited for the crowd to pad out around him so they wouldn’t notice when he hopped the fence. Danny rolled his eyes and went round the side to the broken fence directly behind the security hut. There was a blind spot there was well known for breaking and entering. Danny slipped down the beaten path behind the bush that hid the broken fence post. It helped to have local knowledge. Back in Hawaii, that was Steve's role. Danny felt slightly smug to be the one with the upper hand for a change.

The crowds were spilling out from the public bathroom and cafe more than anywhere else. People who had sat down for a nice snack after meeting Santa weren't being rushed out, but the people who weren't leaving the animal enclosures were being pointedly swept at by the cleaners. Danny smiled to himself as a rush of nostalgia warmed him beneath his jacket.

In another life time, so very long ago now, when he was just younger than Grace, Danny had worked here once for Christmas money. All he had to do was clean up after the general public and direct them where to go, and apologise for their bad times if they gave him grief.   
God Danny missed the grief of some idiot who couldn’t read a sign post yelling at him about it being impossible to find the ferret races. He had let that grumpy old man ruin his whole week once. These days he wouldn’t even remember that ten minutes after it happened. By then a Russian submarine could have washed up on Waikiki beach or something equally ridiculous.

Life was so much simpler before Steve.

Although when he was working here, they never had to deal with people like Eric and Vito, who Danny had just spotted at the reindeer enclosure, subtly sneaking through the barn door.  
The petting zoo had set up a stable for the reindeer to be visited in, and since the zoo was now empty, it was locked up. In their criminal genius, Eric had picked the lock of the stable door. Inside looked more like every horse stable around the country. Each little stable was served by a half cut gate that the reindeer peered their heads over. Each reindeer head had a full set of antlers which scraped against the wooden fences as they used those fences to scratch.   
Pinned along the curved fence edges of the fences and gates were hanging garters of evergreen leaves, holding up snow dusted pine cones and small shining baubles. The orange baubles were small enough to stop the reindeer trying to eat them, but shiny enough to be eye-catching. Each gate held up a green holly wreath that announced the names of the deer inside.  
And standing in the aisle between the stalls was Eric and Vito.

By the time Danny reached them, Vito had looped a rope around one deer's neck and was leading her towards the exit with the aid of a large carrot held by Eric. He also had another couple tucked in his back pocket just in case, which were catching the attention of other deer. Not that they could reach. Although part of Danny was hoping he'd step just a little too close to one that was stretching a little too near. 

"Are we sure about this one? Which one d'you think looks most like one Santa would fly with?" Vito asked.

"Man they all look like reindeer, let's just free one and get outta here before someone notices," Eric urged.

"Hi, I’m someone," Danny announced. 

The other two whipped around to see Danny saunter in with a slight wave. Both had been ready to throw their hands up and sacrifice the other in their alarm, but when they saw it was him, they eased.

"Oh thank God its just you," Eric sighed.

Danny licked his lips as he watched Vito try to hide the rope he was holding behind his back. He fumbled as he did since every time the reindeer moved, the rope moved with her. Vito painted on his most innocent expression as he smiled at his nephew. Danny had one hand in his pocket and ran the other across his brow.

"I can't believe I have to say this but uh, are you stealing a reindeer uncle Vito?" He asked.

Vito dropped his jaw, gasping dramatically as he did, and moved to clutch his chest in the same way he had when his heart attack hit. He even staggered a little. Even Eric wasn't convinced and he still thought he could pass as a high school student.

Vito never tried to make an actor of himself, despite the various stories he spun about Frank Sinatra encouraging him to use his talents on film. The only time he ever tried to hone this skill was to make more money from the con-jobs he did. Con-jobs are mostly about the confidence to carry the lies through rather than the acting that it sometimes led to. If this was Vito's acting level, there was no wonder he never made it anywhere.

"I am... _h_ _urt,_ that you could think so little of me Danny boy," Vito said, dramatically, as though it physically pained him. 

It was at that point that Steve arrived to see Danny wordlessly fold his arms. Steve knew that look. It wasn’t long after that look that a prep would usually crack. One look at the scene infront of them and he immediately understood what was happening, even if he didn't know why. Steve silently stepped up to Danny’s shoulder to support his partner.

"We're _borrowing_ a reindeer!" Vito said, firmly.

"Oh so you got someone who works here to come in, agree to let you take a reindeer off site, to transport him to our house, and stay with him to make sure the animal doesn’t get stressed by the move? That’s what you mean right, because as long as its all above board and agreed on, fine, toss that rope around Rudolph here and let's go," Danny said, calmly. 

Then he tilted his head at Vito, challenging him to continue his lie. Behind him Steve snorted. He always enjoyed it when Danny took control. It was so much easier for perps to back themselves into a corner when Danny was in control. Vito shot a look at Eric. 

"We, uh, sort of did - did that, in a way. It's a totally legit transaction-" Eric stammered.

All eyes turned to him. He felt like a reindeer in headlights. Torn between both sides of his family, Eric looked worn out and terrified. Steve's mind wandered back to the ride back from the airport. _You'll have to pick a side and the side you have to pick is both_. Family loyalties were far more complicated when your family was on separate sides of an argument. Steve almost pitied Eric. But Eric was an adult teathered to a reindeer. There wasn't much he could do to help him here.

"How legit? Wanna tell me how you did it?" Danny challenged.

"We, uh, we-"

Eric glanced between the three men in front of him. As little as five years ago he would have automatically sided with Vito in any situation, but his opinion of his uncle had changed since being hired by him. Danny had given him a job, a place to stay when he got to the island, and given him the opportunity to find people like Jerry and Noelani, whom he had come to admire. Instead of choosing a side, Eric decided to stay quiet and claim coercion when Danny inevitable won. 

"The chief security guards an old friend. He said we can borrow one just as long as we bring him back safe and sound by morning feed," Vito lied.

Eric almost collapsed with relief when the accusation was off of him. Danny's arms remained folded as he turned to face Vito.

"Did he now?" He stated.

"Yes. Yes he did," Vito lied.

"Well that’s interesting, isn’t that interesting?" Danny twisted his shoulder to ask Steve.

"So interesting," Steve agreed, folding his arms as he did.

It happened so naturally for them to fall back into their familiar rhythms that they barely even noticed it happen.

"I tell you what, why don't I go over there and double check with him, see if your story checks out?" Danny offered.

"No, no, we don't need to do that," Vito insisted urgently. 

"No? Why not? What'd you think he'll say?" Danny asked, innocently. 

"Yeah, I mean, if it's all above board like you say, why would you possibly be worried about being cross examined?" Steve asked.

Both of them waited for an answer expectantly. They could even blink simultaneously. That was more intimidating than the way Steve moved his hands to his hips, closer to his gun. They waited for ages for Vito to come up with an answer. When he finally gave up, Vito stretched his arms out helplessly. 

In a pleading voice he said, "Think of the kid."

Steve frowned. "What kid?"

"What kid - _t_ _his guy!"_ Vito rolled his eyes, "Charlie! Obviously! What kid?"

Steve glanced towards Danny. He felt his own breath stop when they brought up Charlie, so he looked towards Danny for what to do. He had more experience in these matters. Danny lifted a hand free from his arm fold to gesticulate with as he explained calmly:

"While it might not seem like it to you, I am thinking of Charlie. I’m thinking of Charlie waking up tomorrow, having missed his traditional meet up with Santa because you weren’t there to provide the staring role, and then finding out that Uncle Vito and Cousin Eric aren't around for Christmas day either. Then his Danno, and possibly Uncle Steve, have to leave him and Grace too before they finish opening presents to come and collect you when you're finally processed and let out on bail."

"That's if you’re lucky enough to get processed. It is Christmas day after all, most of the precinct will be at home with their families. No one you’re making work for is gonna be looking to cut you a deal," Steve pointed out. 

"I certainly won't be pulling any strings to try and get you out," Danny added sternly.

"Me neither," Steve said. 

"So leave the reindeer and let's get out of here before we let the kid down, huh?" Danny finished. 

Eric nodded immediately, but Vito took a moment to look ashamed. Which was a moment too long. This reindeer was stubbornly after that carrot in Eric's hand and it refused to move away from it. Steve and Danny had to step in and push it back towards its stable. The second before they could get the reindeer to move, a security guard shone a torch through the door. Even as they urged the deer to move faster the gaurd stepped in to catch them all red handed with their hands on the reindeer. His own hand flew to his Taser defensively. 

"Hey! What’s going on in here?!" He cried.

When put into situations where we face extreme pressure there's always a moment of panic in which we revert to our most basic instincts. Fight or flight. Danny and Steve had been trained to overcome these initial instincts. 

Eric had not.

He threw down the carrots to distract the guards and yelled, "Scramble!" 

Vito’s moment of panic was a little more thought out. He threw down the rope holding back the reindeer and darted to the next stall to open the gate and release another. As he did he yelled:

"STAMPEED!"

Unfortunately for Vito, the reindeer were used to people. Loud noises didn’t bother them, and they weren't spooked by attention. Neither the reindeer on the rope or the one in the stall moved. Which settled an awkward cloak on the rest of the stable. Danny and Steve shared a pointed look. Since no one had moved enough to make any impact, the security gaurd felt at ease putting his taser away again.

"Yeah, I'm calling the cops," the security guard said, matter-o-factly.

"Sir, please, I can explain everything," Danny began.

He got cut off by the guard raising one hand as he dialled his phone. "Save it for them."

Steve glanced at Danny. He wouldn't pull strings for Vito or Eric, but he couldn't let Danny be humiliated in front of his old squad. Steve stepped forward and cleared his throat.,

"Sir, I'm Lieutenant Commander Steven McGarrett formerly of the Five-O taskforce-"

The security gaurd straightened up in surprise. "Five-O? As in Hawaii's Five-O?"

Steve and Danny paused. They glanced at each other, and then back at the security guard. It wasn't as if they thought Hawaii existed in a vacuum - Lord knows the Russians knew where their island was for starters - but it hadn’t fully occurred to them that their taskforce would gain the attention of civilians all the way out here in Jersey. Especially not the attention of a sweet looking, baby faced young adult who’s uniform barely fit, working security at a petting zoo.   
Mind you it wasn’t a very large demographic. 

"Yes, uh, that's us, Hawaii five-0," Danny said, slowly, "how do you know about that?"

"I'm gonna be a cop one day. I've read up on task forces. Yours is... well known," the gaurd explained cautiously. 

Eric raised his eye bows and nodded in agreement. They were very well known as far as he was concerned. Then again, crime was something Eric knew well and to know crime you have to know who and what to avoid.

"As far as I'm aware commander, the Five-O taskforce, while renound around the whole of the United States, only has jurisdiction inside the eight major Hawaiian Islands. You’re long ways past jurisdiction Commander. Immunity doesn't work out here," he warned.

Danny and Steve once again shared a look. Steve’s jaw dropped open as Danny’s eyebrows rose to his hairline. Neither were sure if they were concerned or impressed by his knowledge. Eric made a note of the gaurds face, just in case. If someone like that joined the NJPD, Eric wanted to know about it.

"Wow you uh, you really know your stuff," Danny said.

He shrugged, almost bashfully. "I'm training to be an officer. This is to help pay for the Academy."

He gestured to the stables around them. Steve found himself wondering just how much this place paid. 

"Sure. Sure. I actually used to be an officer here yknow. Yeah, I can still remember the beat I used to walk. I could time it so when the hunger set in, I was walking straight past the best hot dog vendor in the city. Good times," Danny said, unable to stop the small smirk growing.

"Hey, hotshot, wanna save it with the nostalgic trip down memory lane? If you don't, were gonna witness a reunion!" Steve hissed a warning.

Danny waved him off carelessly. Steve pursed his lips. All Steve wanted to do was keep Danny out of trouble. He hadn't realised how much of it arose in this city.

"I'm Detective Daniel Williams, and I was pretty well known around here before I left for Hawaii-"

"Detective Williams? Were you the one who's partner died on 9/11?"

Danny felt his heart stop. His breath shook but he tried to keep that under control. He still didn't like thinking about Grace. The people she had left behind were having yet another Christmas without her and he couldn't help the pain that came with that.

"How'd you- how would you even know that?"

"Our sergeant used your story to explain how sometimes you have to make tough choices to protect the public. Help a fellow fallen officer, or rush to the aid of the civilians who fell victim to the towers. It's a tough choice," the guard explained. He was earnest in his sympathy. 

_Not when it's your partner_ , Danny thought to himself. He still hated thinking about Grace's last moments. That earth shattering moment where he saw the towers fall and he knew in his heart, no one was coming to help him. That no one would save her.   
The greater good sometimes felt like a noose.   
Since Danny found himself at a loss for words, Steve stepped by to shoulder the load and take over the conversation to defend him.

"Look kid, I understand your reluctance to let us go, I do. You wanna look good to your commanding officers and make an early arrest, even bring in an old officer to spread a funny story around the precinct, I get it, but c’mon. It's Christmas eve. No one will appreciate the paper work, and it's not like we've committed a crime."

Vito shuffled closer to Eric, as though that would hide the large deer snuffling at the ground for the carrots Eric had dropped. Maybe if he couldn't see it, he would forget it. He did not.

 _"Yet._ You’ve still committed breaking and entering and attempted theft of livestock-" the guard began.

"That’s not a thing," Vito interrupted.

"Livestock rustling is a thing, and that thing is a crime," the guard warned, seriously. 

"You shut up, okay, we're handling this," Steve barked at Vito.

"You shut up, you’re not handling anything, I got this," Danny barked at Steve. 

"Oh you got this?" Steve sneered.

Danny paused. He tilted his head at Steve. "Is something funny to you because I don't find anything in this situation funny."

As if on cue, the reindeer that was teathered to Vito moved close enough to shift it's head to run its antlers up his back. He cried out in alarm which made the reindeer bellow and urinate. Steve looked from that site to Danny, and gestured towards it. Somehow he kept his own need to grin under control and nonexistent. 

"Not even that?"

Danny gave him a deeply unimpressed look. "I cannot believe how immature you can be. You’re almost fifty, it's time for you to realise-"

"Almost fifty?! I’m forty three I am not almost fifty!"

"You’re closer to fifty than you are thirty, and you’re still acting like a twenty year old moron-"

"A twenty year old moron? When I was twenty I had a medal Danny."

"Oh you had a medal?! Oh, well by all means, let me bow down to Mr Got-a-medal-at-twenty-"

"No, I _had_ a medal at twenty, I _got_ a medal at nineteen, and yknow what Danny-"

"No, what, tell me, please, I am dying to know!"

While they bickered the security guard turned his attention towards Eric, who was yet to say a word or look away from the Taser. He remembered the feeling of thousands of volts raging through him at once vividly. Sometimes he still had that metallic taste at the back of his tongue.

"Are they always like this?" The guard asked.

"Yeah, pretty much. You should have seen them trying to open their restaurants, boy, that's what you call a minefield," Vito snorted. 

The gaurd glanced over at them. Their entire attention was not devoted to one another, and their new unfolding argument. The tension in those shoulders, the intimacy of their movements, the way they both resigned themselves to another argument neither would win, he had seen it before. Thousands of times this week alone.

"How long have they been married?” he asked Vito.

Vito and Eric shared a look. Silently they came to an understanding about the next step. It might come back to bite them, but it was well worth the amusement of the moment. 

"I honestly can't remember a time they were apart," Vito said.

And it was true. It had been so long since Danny and Steve’s lives hadn’t been intertwined that Vito could barely remember a time when "Danny" wasn’t almost immediately followed by "and Steve" in conversation. Danny and Steve created Five-O. Danny and Steve got medals from the Queen of England. Danny and Steve are opening a restaurant. Danny and Steve are here for Christmas. They spent so long together it was accepted that they were a joint package. 

"That’s kind of sweet," the guard admitted.

That was his flaw. The chink in his armour that Eric knew how to exploit. Eric's eyes flicked away from the Taser long enough to spin a story, just as Vito had taught him to do as a kid, which Danny always hated. Fortunately Danny was busy arguing with Steve.

"You think that's sweet? We came down here to do right by a kid who stopped believing in Santa. Yeah he said Santa can't be real because he's never seen a reindeer in the yard. He just wants proof that Santa is real, so my uncle Vito here was gonna dress as him while I held onto this reindeer to make it look more real, yknow? We just wanted him to believe one last time. At this point we cant get the kid the reindeer like we promised but please, _please,_ dont make us miss Santa altogether."

"And these two were letting you steal a reindeer to do it?" The gaurd accused.

"No, no, they were trying to stop us," Eric said.

Vito moved to hit him warningly. It was a silent scold to make him shut up and avoid getting them into trouble.

"They were huh? I take it it's their kid?" He asked.

Eric nodded. "Yep. Their son. And we can't let them miss Christmas with their son right?"

Sometimes things just work out for the best. It's possibly more luck than judgement. So maybe it was the fact that these well known officers were in need of help, maybe it was because there was a kid involved, or maybe it was because this was all above his pay grade, but he sighed heavily. His shoulders softened.

"Okay look, I can't let you take Blitzen-"

"This one is Blitzen?" Vito muttered in surprise.

Sure enough the holly wreath on the stall gate said Blitzen. Vito hadn't bothered to read it before opening the door.

"But I guess... I guess since these guys were trying to stop you, and since all you've really done is pick a padlock- one I'm in charge of securing too so it'll come back to me and get me in trouble too... maybe it wouldn't do too much harm to sweep this under the rug," he finished. 

"No, it wouldn't, I promise!" Eric beamed.

Eric's sudden smile caught Steve's attention enough to pull him out of their argument. Danny was halfway through his sentence when Steve shushed him.

"Wait, what's happening?" Danny asked, more to himself than anyone else.

"You guys can go free, but you have to leave directly and immediately okay? I don't want to see you. Especially my boss. Got it?" the guard warned.

"That's fair!" Vito declared.

Vito shoved the rope into the guards chest, patted his arm merrily, and made a beeline for the door. The others dragged behind him, giving a little small talk to the guard on the way out.

"Thank you, thank you so much," Danny insisted.

"Mahalo brother, much appreciated. Good luck on your course," Steve grinned.

"Thanks. Stay out of trouble," the guard called after them.

Eric turned back to give his usual smart ass reply, but Steve grabbed him by the back of the collar to yank him away instead. 

"Happy holidays," Eric called as he did.

To say they hurried out of the petting zoo is an understatement. Danny was ushering them as rapidly as he could. As they went Vito was bitterly huffing about how silly this was.

"We should be allowed to borrow a reindeer, it's not like they're going to use him tomorrow!" He complained. 

Danny ignored him. He had a lot of training on that subject. He had a harder time ignoring Steve though. For some reason he couldn't understand, he had never had quite managed to tune him out in the same way he could tune out almost anyone else. Steve always managed to worm his way back in.

"Stay out of trouble? Kids like eighteen, telling me to stay out of trouble! At his age I was keeping the country out of trouble, what does he know?!" Steve complained.

"Yeah, well, sometimes kids are wiser than their age," Danny shrugged.

"Did you guys see the antlers on that reindeer?! That guy's gonna have a _lot_ of women next year," Eric snorted.

"Then again," Danny muttered.

"All those reindeer are female dumbass," Vito said.

Eric was so surprised he stopped walking and had to jog to catch up and ask, "What?!"

"Female reindeer don't shed their antlers for winter, males do. They’re girls," Steve explained impatiently. 

Eric stopped dead that time and exclaimed, _"What?!"_

They could have explained but at this exact moment they just wanted to go home. The threat of arrest really kicked the cheer out of christmas and they wanted to get back to the house. There wasn't much longer before Vito needed to get into costume, and Danny wanted to be there to finish baking Santa's cookies before Charlie's bedtime. 

"Just get in the car," Danny sighed in frustration. 

Now they were almost off zoo property, Vito nudged Eric. "Yo, where are the carrots?"

Eric frowned at him like that was obvious. "I dropped them when that guy pulled a Taser on me."

"You dropped them?! Go get em back!" Vito cried.

Danny half scrambled out of the car again, slipping and almost falling as he did. He ended up hanging over the car door as he yelled, "Do not do that!"

"No! Lets leave em, we were gonna give em to the reindeer anyway, what’s the big deal?" Eric cried. 

"Yeah, what’s the big deal?" Danny asked. 

"It's not a big deal. I just hope your mom has enough left for tomorrow now," Vito said, quietly. 

"You took mom's carrots for this?!" Danny groaned. 

"Well we didn’t have time to buy a new packet did we?!" Vito argued.

"Unbelievable. Unbe- get in the car, we're going," Danny ordered.

He waited until he watched both Eric and Vito climb into Eric’s truck and shut the doors before he got back into the car with Steve. They could still hear the muffled yelling when Eric drove past them. Steve chuckled to himself as he watch them go.

"What? What could possibly be funny right now Steve? We almost got arrested on Christmas eve, after all I've said about spending time with my family, I almost lost it over a goddamn reindeer so what, _w_ _hat_ could be funny right now?"

Steve rolled his head across the back of the chairs headrest over towards Danny and smirked. "Those two are on the naughty list for sure."

Danny couldn’t deal with this anymore. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes and half begged Steve to, "just... drive."

Steve glanced at Danny. The exhaustion had returned to weigh him down. Steve could see it, but he didn’t feel the need to mention it. Instead he just started the engine and nodded at Danny's orders.

"Yes sir."

Danny groaned again but part of him appreciated the chance to be in control. He didn't feel like he had any anymore. At least with Steve around he had back up.


	10. Chapter 10

Steve felt a serious case of deja vu when Clara opened the door and hissed at him and Danny, demanding to know where they had been for so long. It was almost funny in it's way. Like Mary had phoned ahead to tell her exactly what to say. 

"Sorry we took so long," Steve apologised. 

He was ready to take the full blame for the entire situation to keep Danny out of trouble, but Danny wasn't very big on shifting responsibility. The moment he entered the house, he instantly took on the responsibility that he had dropped by leaving it.

"Be grateful we're here at all and not at the station," Danny said. 

"The station? As in train station?" Clara frowned.

"Train, police, doesn’t matter because we're not there," Danny said.

The Williams home felt ever more like the McGarrett home when, instead of jumping to conclusions and getting herself worried, Clara let out an exasperated sigh.

"Okay, I want answers, but they can wait. It's almost time! Where's Vito?" Clara urged. 

Vito was only a few minutes behind them but when he finally arrived he was given a stern talking to for being so long. All of them were scolded for leaving Eddie on the roof alone though, which Danny didn’t think was fair given Eddie was on the ground when they had left, but there was no arguing with Clara. They opted to avoid telling her all the details of their escapade. The only one she excused from the scolding was Danny, because Grace walked into the hall, rolled her eyes at him, and went back into the sitting room. Nothing can make you realise the error of you ways like your kid being mad at you.

Danny approached her cautiously. "Hey monkey... Are you feeling better now?"

Grace pointedly began collecting up the dirty cutlery for the dishwasher as she blanked him. Most of her habits for handling conflict came from the arguments she witnessed between her mother and both of her ex husbands. A personal favourite of hers was the silent treatment. Life in Jersey was loud and shouting didn't have the kind of impact it would elsewhere, but silence? Refusing to talk to someone? Pretending they weren't even there? Now that made an impact. 

Dozen and dozen of therapy sessions with Rachel and with Steve and alone had meant Danny had come away with one very obvious peice of common sense. This was an unhealthy interaction and he did not want Grace to fall into the same hole he found himself in.

"Look, I know I messed up but Christmas isn't the time for the silent treatment. The only way we can make these things work is to talk them out... please talk to me."

Grace blinked slowly and dragged her gaze up at Danny. As irritated as that look was, it softened when she caught the way his eye flinched. Danny could hide his feelings well, but Grace had known from for almost nineteen years. It was his tell in poker too. That's why she always beat him. 

"Grandma and I talked it out while baking. She said the batch was just for me so I had to eat them all myself so I did. Now I just feel sick," she lied.

Danny chuckled breezily. That was exactly what he wanted to hear. Well, pretty much. At least she wasn't as mad at him anymore and the whole heavy conversation could wait until they got home. Danny took a tentative step forward to run his hand through her hairline the same way that he did when she was younger. It was a gentle move, brushing his knuckle gently against the curve of her face from forehead to chin. As tender as the move was, the moment was destroyed by Charlie ploughing between them, trailing a ribbon behind him.

"Santa's coming, Santa's coming, Santa's coming!" He sang excitedly as he went.

As he left the room again Danny felt a pang of alarm. Of course he wanted Charlie to believe for just a little while longer, but a reindeer wasn't practical. Even Vito should have known that. He had no idea what to do instead. 

"Gracie please, please tell me you've got a plan for the reindeer thing because I -I just can't," Danny begged.

"You tell me," Grace said.

Grace held out her phone for him to take. Danny took and held it at an arms length to try and see it better. She rolled her eyes. Grace leaned across him to turn up the screen brightness so he could see. Steve had snuck in behind him and peered over his shoulder to be nosey. The screen had a photo of the house they were currently in photo shopped to look like she had taken the photo at night with a dozen reindeer scattered in frame. Some stood in the yard while others stood on the roof, but they were all waiting patiently for someone to return to the sleigh on the rooftop. 

"Amazing. You’re a genius, you can hardly tell that they’re photo shopped!" Steve grinned.

"Shh!" Danny hissed urgently.

His hand pressed against Steve's peck as he glanced around to check that Charlie wasn’t in earshot. When he accepted he wasn’t, Steve raised an eyebrow at him and gestured to Danny’s hand. Danny snatched it back like it burned. He folded his hands under his armpits stubbornly as though it was all that would stop him doing it again. Steve snorted at him.

"Well I can't take all the credit. YouTube helped a lot, and I couldn't have done it at all if Eric hadn't sent me these awesome reindeer photos," Grace said.

She scrolled onwards to show them photos of the stable they had been in less than an hour ago. Eric had tried to match the shade and contrast details on each image while keeping the full deer in shot to help keep Grace's Photoshop smooth. Both Steve and Danny's heads flicked up from the photos to her in surprise. Grace reeled back in alarm.

"Eric took these?" Steve repeated in surprise. 

Grace nodded. "He's really very good."

Usually they would have scoffed scornfully and ridiculed the idea that Eric was good at anything beyond being inappropriate in serious situations. But they had the proof in their hands.

"Hey, Eric," Steve called.

Eric peered through the doorway to check what they had found to yell at him for. Since it was only these three, he dared to go in. Danny tilted the screen at him.

"Where did you learn to take photos like this?" He asked.

Eric rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Err, honestly? I’m not sure. I kept being made to take photos of evidence at crime scenes, and then Jerry took me out on a stake out to operate the cameras, and then Noelani caught me taking photos and encouraged me to join a photography club in O'ahu instead of - well she called it "wasting your time chasing girls in clubs." So I guess I just snowballed into it, yknow?" 

"Hold on... is this why you got a special mention in Jerry's book?" Danny asked.

Steve hunched up as he asked, "You read Jerry's book too?! Am I the only one he hasn’t sent it to yet?"

"No, I - I haven’t read it, I kinda skimmed it. But I’ve read the mentions. I thought Eric got named because he helped find the victim of Bo Brady, but-" Danny began.

"Bo Bradley," Eric corrected. 

Danny took a beat to decide if it was worth the argument or not. He decided it wasn’t. Grace drummed her fingers on the plates in her hand as she waited for the conversation to end so she could point out Danny had come in to apologise to her.

"You took the photo of Jerry they used for the cover didn’t you?" Danny asked.

"Jerry insisted on it," Eric nodded. "Said he couldn't trust a publicist to be honest about something or other, who cares, I took the picture in the end."

"Eric you’re a published photographer?! That’s great!" Steve grinned.

"It is?" Eric sounded surprised. 

"Of course it is! And these photos are great too - illegally obtained, don't get me wrong, you can't just break into places to get photos, you know that right?" Steve asked.

Steve and Danny both stared at Eric, waiting for his response. The moment Eric realised it was a serious question, his smile vanished. He rolled his eyes and stormed out of the room. Steve's own smile faded. He hadn't meant to upset him. Sometimes playful ribbing went too far.

"Hey! Hey, Eric, hold on- come back!" Steve called after him. 

Steve followed Eric out to catch up and apologise. It wasn't very hard, the house wasn't very big and Eric made a lot of noise as he stormed off. Danny tilted his head and moved to follow Eric into the kitchen. He didn’t make it all the way though, because Grace huffed indignantly. 

"Uh, Danno?" She snarled. 

Danny swung around and blinked innocently, "Yeah Monkey what is it?" 

Grace couldn't believe him. She was too tired to even argue with him about it anymore. All she wanted was him to agree to spend some time with her at some point now.

"Can I have my phone back?" She asked.

Danny hadn't even noticed he was still holding it. He grinned at her as he held it out. She didn't even try to smile back as she snatched it. Catherine's voice was echoing in the back of her head once again. _We need to make the most of what little time we have together, and make it up when can't._ Well as true as that might have been when she was ten and wanted to go to a sleep over instead of trick or treating, she was eighteen now and had a brother to deal with too. That little time was less than ever, she could see Danny wasn't even listening to her.

"Danno? Are you listening to me?" 

"Of course monkey, of course I am. Whatever this is, it can't wait until after Christmas right? So let's talk. I'm listening, go on."

He tried to keep his focus entirely on her as she spoke but his mind was trailing back towards Eric. The kid didn’t like to show his emotions. He didn't like being vunerable. So when he couldn't let his cocky arrogance mask them, Danny couldn't let it go. Especially when it was his fault. His mind was in that. That is until Grace said something that threw him completely. 

"Look, while Vito is getting changed-" 

"He's getting changed already?! Did Ma make the Santa cookies? I need to find the plate - I'll be right back!"

Grace's shoulders sagged as she watched Danny hurry off into the kitchen. Charlie raced past her, circled her, and then ran upstairs, still fluttering the ribbon behind him and singing as he went. The only one who decided to question it was Steve. After Eric had accepted his appology (alright, noted the appology, acceptance pending, but Eric couldn't stay mad long enough for that to concern him) he set after Charlie to try and catch up to him, but found Grace instead. Grace was bitterly talking to the empty space where he father had just been. 

"While Vito is getting changed, d'you think we'll have time to talk about my college options Danno? I know we’ve looked at loads on the mainland, and I know I got into some already, but none if them feel right to me. If I'm being honest, Danno, I'm not totally sure I want to go to college at all anymore."

Steve's back straightened, causing him to stand more alert. Had he been a dog, his ears would have flicked up.

"Excuse me?" He announced.

Grace gasped and spun around. Her voice tightened. "Oh! Uncle Steve! I didn’t see you. I uh, I was just-"

"You don't wanna go to college? How come? You’re so smart, you got into so many, why don't you wanna go?" Steve urged. 

He kept his voice low and kept one eye on the kitchen door to try and avoid Danny overhearing and taking over. While that was his right, she was his daughter after all, it was a risk he didn't want to take. Steve wasn’t sure exactly how Danny would react but given how tightly wound he was at the moment, he didn’t see it going well. 

"Well I - I - I-" Grace stammered anxiously. 

She gulped back her words, trying to swallow the ball in her throat with them. It was too late to fight the tears stinging at her eyes though. Steve felt a stab of guilt at how scared she looked, and he eased off. It was easy to forget how intimidating he was sometimes. He rested his hands on her arms and bent down to her eye level. Consolation was second nature to him these days.

"Hey, hey, I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to be so harsh, it's a habit that comes with the job. Please don't cry-"

"It's not just college," Grace sniffed, "I have no idea if I can leave Danno alone and I don't want the family to fall apart without me, its not fair to Charlie, but it's also not fair to me that Danno is constantly trying to make time for Charlie so he doesn’t have any time for me at all... I don't think I'm ready to leave home but I think Danno thinks I'm already gone..."

That knocked the air out of Steve's lungs. Instinct took over his emotions in a moment. Steve couldn't help it. Grace was essentially his daughter, he didn’t care if that upset Danny anymore. If Danny was her Danno, and Stan was her Step Stan then Steve could be her Steveo dammit. He wasn't about to let her sit here and cry.

"Stay right here," he said quietly. 

Grace was not one for doing what she was told though. She found she missed the interesting things when she did. Instead, she took a couple of steps forward to watch where Steve went. He glanced around the sitting room, checking for witnesses. Aside from them it was empty, but he still crept up to the Christmas tree like he didn’t want to be noticed. She sniffed back her sorrows as curiosity took over.

Steve knelt down and dug through the brightly wrapped gifts waiting beneath the tree. Finally he found the one he was looking for and gave a triumphant snicker. When he turned towards her he shook the present pointedly. To her, it was just a present wrapped up in green foil with a darker ribbon around the middle and a slightly gaudy bow stuck on the corner. Steve however, knew what was inside. 

"What are you doing? That’s for tomorrow," Grace said.

"Happiness tomorrow is inevitable. Happiness today requires chocolate," Steve declared. 

When Grace gave a watery laugh at that he wished it was a line he had come up with. It wasn't. Chin and said it once, but it was beer, not chocolate. It still worked.

He pulled the wrapping paper off of the box to reveal the box of nautical shaped Belgium chocolates hidden inside. Then he handed it to Grace. She sniffed as she smiled down at them. Little seahorses made of a mix of white and milk chocolate reminded her of home. It was a peculiar sensation to be homesick in a place she had grown up in. Oblivious, Steve grinned back. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and walked the two of them towards the basement.

"C’mon. You and me are going to talk colleges," he said.

Grace laid a head against his side. She was only just tall enough for her head to reach the middle of his ribcage. It was a tired but appreciative gesture of refusal. When she tried to pull away, she quickly found that this wasn't an option. 

"Thanks Steveo but-"

"Nope."

"What are you- no! No! Put me dow- _ow!"_

Steve hoisted Grace up off of her feet as she yowled. First he lifted her into his arms, then up to his shoulder, then he threw her over his shoulder to carry her like a sack of flour. The obserdity of it took her by surprise. The tears were forgotten in her laughter.

"Put me down!" She repeated, laughing.

"It's not a choice Gracie. We're going to get this done, and we're gonna get it done today! Here we go!" He cried merrily.

As Steve carried her off he teased her about how lightweight she was, especially for having just eaten an entire plate of cookies. Grace on the other hand, was tangled between fear of being dropped and thrill at being carried. She squealed with laughter in that same way. It had been a long time since someone treated her like a toddler, and it wasn't unenjoyable.

Danny, meanwhile, was too focused on his hunt for the Santa plate to question his daughter's squeals. This years batch of Santa cookies had been baked by Clara and Charlie. They needed them fast so the heat was slightly higher than they usually baked at, and they looked a little rushed. Although they did have to use up the rest of the chocolate chips, so they were gooey too.

Eric came moping in to sit on a stool and drink a mug of eggnog, sighing dramatically to try and coax an apology out of Danny. Danny did not let that distract him. Eric didn’t even struggle against Charlie as he used the ribbon to bind together his legs. Once they were tied together, Charlie fell back to admire his work from the floor. The lopsided bow flopped over once the support of his hand fell away.

He sighed. "I'm bored."

And in that moment, Danny realised Charlie was in the room. 

"Hey kiddo! If you’re bored why don't you go and watch some cartoons huh? The TV in the sitting room's empty," he suggested.

Charlie was a little resistant to the idea, but he was too bored to come up with his own so he shrugged and made his way to the TV. Danny glanced Eric up and down. The shining metallic of the red ribbon binding his legs like a mermaid, didn’t really match the rest of his outfit. Danny's mind was working too fast to comment on that though, and he needed something from Eric. 

"Hey, Eric, would you mind getting a photo of Charlie and Vito for me? I mean, when it's all set up, obviously," he asked.

Eric looked up from his eggnog uncertainly. Danny usually avoided giving any form of responsibility to his nephew, so this was the closest to an apology as he could really expect. 

"You mean it?"

"Of course I mean it. Would I say if I didn’t? You’ve got talent kid. If you'd seen it before maybe we could have avoided the arrests," Danny said.

Eric rolled his eyes and huffed. "Nice of you to bring those up again uncle D, very on brand."

Danny paused. He had been part way through rummaging through dirty plates in the sink, so his wooden spoon hung in the air above his bowl for a moment. Then he dropped the spoon into the bowl, dropped them both into the sink and returned to lean on the breakfast bar opposite Eric.

"Does that upset you Eric?" He asked, calmly.

The Williams family trait of using sarcasm to hide how they were really feeling because anger was easier to handle, had clearly passed to the Russo’s as well. If Danny had doubted that before, Eric’s bitter ramble cemented the idea.

"Does it upset me that no matter what I do right, like, oh I dont know, arresting criminals, solving murders, getting my photos published, whatever - it always gets swept aside by my family because of the dumb mistakes I made when I was a stupid kid. I could become president of America and Vito would still expect me to commit petty crimes with him. He'd say I was beind selfish if I didn’t use my presidential rights to get him out of trouble, then he'd tell me I did that wrong too anyway... No one thinks I can do anything right except for Noelani and Jerry. I’m not sure why I came here for Christmas instead of staying with them. If Christmas is family time I should have stayed in Hawaii."

Eric chugged back the rest of his eggnog and slammed the empty mug back down onto the table.   
A funny thing about the way the mind works is that it latches onto emotionally stressful situations so anything that links back to them is amplified later. It's a safety mechanism that works harder for emotions than physical dangers. Especially when you experience physical dangers often enough to become desensitized. This is probably why Danny reacted automatically to gunfire, but Eric slamming a cup a little too hard sent off his defensive system. Fortunately for Danny, being with Steve had led to many therapy sessions - some weren’t even court sanctioned - and he had learned how to regain control of himself. A couple of deep breaths later he leaned on the table again. Subtly he reached over and pulled the cup out of Eric's reach.

"Eric... okay, Eric, listen to me. I'm sorry that we as a family sweep aside your achievements okay? You've grown up a lot in recent years, but we still see you as that kid because to us, you still are a kid. You’re always gonna be a kid. But you’re right, you've come far and we haven’t celebrated that enough, so I tell you what I'm gonna do, tomorrow, over dinner, I'm gonna make a toast to you okay?"

"A toast? Gee, thanks," Eric said sarcastically. 

"Hey, appreciate what praise you get. I was head of a Hawaiian police task force and ma still made me take on a criminal kid because of duty to family. It won't be long before they use your photography to their own advantage too," Danny smirked.

"Like you asking me to take photos of Charlie and Santa?" Eric asked.

Danny's smirk grew. "Now you're getting it. Speaking of which- Charlie?!"

Eric rolled his eyes. He was never allowed to wallow in his own problems when his family was around. There was always too much of a rush. Maybe that was why he preferred Hawaii. With island time he could wallow to his hearts delight.   
Although talking to Danny did make him feel a little better. Or maybe it was the eggnog. Either way when Charlie came bouncing through the door, Eric flashed him a bright grin.

"There you are. Did you get the stockings out of your bag yet buddy?" Danny asked.

"No Danno, I've been busy baking," Charlie said.

By the raw cookie dough still caught in his hair and the flour stains on his trousers that was true. Also this kid was definitely going to need a wash.

"That's great, but can you grab them now for me please? We need to hang them up before Santa gets here," Danny said.

"Okay Danno!"

The stockings were still in the suitcase which Charlie had left in the basement. To get them he had to interrupt Steve and Grace's discussion. He did not know this.

"But this one has key work with mental health issues. They even have a day where therapy dogs come to visit," Grace explained.

Steve pulled the leaflet across the desk towards him, to see the photos of young adults surrounded by over excited puppies. The sarcasm just bubbled up in him.

"That’s good, thats really good, but do you really want to base your education on where the most animals are? I mean if you do you’re more than welcome to stay at my place with me and Eddie, maybe we'll track down Mr Pickles and bring him back into the picture," he said.

"Okay, I get it, I shouldn’t let animals sway me," Grace said.

Steve wrinkled his nose. They weren't just animals, they were therapy animals. Sure he said a lot about dogs in the past, but in the end Eddie was one the main things that got him out of bed some mornings. If Grace needed that, he didn't want to put her off.

"No, seriously, if that’s an important factor in your decision making, by all means take it into account. I just don't get it personally," Steve shrugged.

"Well to be fair Steveo-" Grace began.

Steve chuckled affectionately at the term. Grace raised an eyebrow at him, unimpressed by the interruption. Steve smiled warmly at her.

"Still loving that," he admitted. 

She continued, "You didn’t go to college. You left high school, joined the navy, worked your way up to commander and then left the force to start working with Danno in Five-O. You never had to think about your education."

"That sounds like you’re calling me uneducated but I’m gonna let that slide because you’re stressed," Steve said.

"I'm not saying you’re uneducated, just that you don't know what colleges are like because you didn't need to go to one," Grace argued.

Steve hummed dubiously, rolling his head from shoulder to shoulder as he did. "You’re not wrong. I don't know what colleges are like. But if I can help you narrow down the key factors and rank them by importance, I'm sure it will aid in your final decision. So, let's do this. What’s most important to you about your education facility?"

Don't think Grace didn't notice him pointedly using bigger words to sound smarter, she chose to ignore it. Grace hummed uncertainly as she tried to think. Both of them stopped to look up when they heard a clatter on the stairs. Charlie held onto the banister tightly as he descended them.

"Hey buddy, whatcha doing down here?" Steve smiled.

"I need to get the stockings out of my bag for Santa," Charlie explained.

"Oh you brought them all this way?" Steve smiled.

Charlie made his way over to the suitcase at the end of the inflated airbed on the floor. "Yeah, all of em! Even yours, see?"

Charlie grabbed the stocking and held it up above his head like a kid with a scarf at a football match. Steve's name shone in golden floss in the fluorescent light. He felt his chest warm.

"You did? You did! I’m touched. Thank you Charlie, that's really sweet, thank you," he smiled.

Charlie gathered the rest of the stockings into his arms as he explained excitedly, "I'm gonna put them all by the fire! Grandma says I can use Grandpa's hammer to nail them up!"

Steve and Grace shared a suspicious look.

"I think Grandma was kidding about that Charlie," Grace warned.

Charlie frowned at her. "No, she said Grandpa was all hammered out so I could put up the stockings by myself."

Once again Steve and Grace shared a look. Neither were entirely sure if they should explain what she had meant or not. They didn't. 

"Maybe double check with her when you go back up, yeah buddy?" Steve suggested.

"Okay uncle steveo," Charlie shrugged.

Steve lit up as he watched Charlie run back up the stairs, clutching his stocking to his chest. He turned pointedly back to Grace. Grace was staring hard at the college brochures in front of her. She could feel it coming. Almost gleefully, Steve rested an elbow on the table and stared straight at her.

"Uncle Steveo huh? Where'd he pick that up?" He grinned.

Grace tucked a stand of hair behind her ear and shrugged innocently. "How would I know?"

"Gracie," Steve almost sung her name, eagerly.

"Danno keeps calling you Uncle Steve, but Mom said at this point you’re practically another Danno. When Danno got mad she called you Steveo instead to annoy him. Now she brings it up when Danno starts ranting. Maybe that's where he got it from."

Any glee that had filled his chest just one moment ago was tarnished in one smooth move. His elbow slipped straight off of the table.

"Danno got mad? Because _he’s_ your Danno right? Not your step Stan. Not Steveo. He is your Danno... only him..." He thought aloud. 

Grace gave him a funny look. "Yeah? And? Its not like we would want any other Danno. That would just be confusing. Can we get back to this?"

It took Steve a second to recalibrate before he forced a grin and nodded.

"Of course we can. You were about to tell me the most important thing to look for in a college."

As their conversation in the basement continued a calm quiet swept over the house. Eric was swept up into helping Vito to fit into his costume while Danny finally hunted down the Santa plate and joined Charlie who was busy hanging stockings with Clara. Meanwhile Eddie snored away in his bedroom, sleeping off the drinks he had had on the roof. Sleep came easier to him now he had spoken to someone about Matt. It felt easier to face tomorrow knowing he didn’t have to ignore who was missing, just accept they weren't there.  
Eventually though the calm had to pass. It all started when the oven timer buzzed.  
The sound echoed down to the open basement door. It caught Grace's attention, and made her realise how hungry shed gotten. She and Steve decided to take a break.

"Uncle Steveo come look!" Charlie called as he passed the door.

Steve peeled away from Grace to duck into the sitting room where Charlie and Danny were adding even more decorations to the already cluttered room. Less is more didn't seem to exist around here.

"Look at what buddy?" He asked.

"Look at the stockings! Aren’t they pretty?!" Charlie beamed. 

"So pretty! Awesome job kiddo," Steve grinned.

Danny stepped over to Steve’s side and turned to pretend to admire the decorations with him. He folded his arms where Steve rested his on his waist and lowered his voice.

"Uncle Steveo now huh? Where'd that one come from?" He challenged. 

Steve shrugged innocently. "It's new to me."

Danny forced a smile to try and hide the jealousy in his chest. "I'm sure it'll pass."

"I'm sure."

Of course neither man agreed on what it would pass to. Danny hoped Charlie would drop the O, while Steve hoped he dropped the uncle. One was a lot more likely to happen than the other, especially if Grace took a side. A new bubble of tension bloomed between them over it.

Meanwhile in the kitchen Clara swilled a glass of red wine in her hand as she eyed Grace thoughtfully.

"Gracie how old are you now?"

"Nearly nineteen. Why?" Grace asked cautiously.

Clara poured a splash of wine into another glass and slid it towards Grace. "Have a taste of this. Let me know what you think."

Grace eyed the wine, and then her grandmother. She was sure this was a trick, but she couldn't quite place how.

"I think mom and Danno will be mad if they find out I was drinking," she said.

"It's only a little wine honey! You've tried mojitos before and they weren’t mad about that," Clara reminded her.

"Because we never told them," Grace whispered.

"Exactly! It'll be our little secret," Clara whispered back with a wink.

Grace hesitated and glanced over her shoulder. She could hear Danny busy in the sitting room. It was a quick step over to the side and the wine. She lifted the glass into her hand so the neck dangled between her fingers but the glass bottom sat on her palm. Grace glanced between them again. It wasn't so very long ago that she had been sipping her grandmother's mojitos on deckchairs poolside at the Hilton Hawaiian Village, but that was someone else's drink. This one was entirely for her. And she hadn’t had one drink at any party since she learned to drive. Well, accept that one where she knew someone else was driving. And its not like she was driving anywhere tonight...

Clara chuckled softly as she watched Grace cautiously sip at the liquid. As much as she loved Grace, she couldn't help but worry about how cautiously she approached things. Danny was a cop who knew how dangerous things were and that made him protective. Sometimes overly so.   
Grace needed a chance to make bad choices and learn from the experience. Plus if she tried drinking somewhere safe like this, it might encourage her to be more adventurous in college. Clara wanted her to loosen up before then. It seemed like a win-win.  
Until Steve walked in.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what’s in that glass young lady?!"

Grace swallowed the mouthful she had and tried not to gag on the way it burned her taste buds. 

"Um, grape juice?" She offered.

"You think you’re being cute? You’re underage Grace, there are cops in the house," Steve said sternly.

"Oh lighten up Steve, I gave it to her! She’s going to drink at college anyway, she might as well start somewhere safe with her family around to make sure nothing gets out of hand," Clara argued.

Steve glanced back to make sure Danny wasn’t over hearing. He stepped forward, keeping his voice low as he did.

"It's already out of hand Clara. Out of your hand and into Grace's. She’s a child, you can't give her alcohol," Steve insisted. 

"I am not a child Uncle Steve!" Grace argued.

"You’re still a minor, in the eyes of the law - in my eyes, that's still a child," Steve argued back.

"I thought you said I was an adult now and you could talk to me like one," Grace rebuttled.

"Talking like adults and acting like adults are totally different things," Steve said seriously. Then, less seriously, he added, "Besides if Danny found out he'd have my head, he’s already mad at me."

"He needs to loosen up too. When he was your age he was already drinking full bottles of beer with his brother, we just pretended not to know," Clara shrugged. 

Steve tossed a hand helplessly into the air and rolled his eyes. This was not helping his argument. He could tell that because Grace gasped in delight at hearing it.

"He did?!" She gasped.

Clara nodded in that way that grandparents do when they tell stories that undermine their children’s authorities as parents.

"Uncle Matt was younger than Danno," Grace said.

"Yes and he had an elder brother who stole drinks for him," Clara explained. 

Steve threw his arms helplessly into the air. There was no chance Grace would listen to him once she knew her dad had stolen alcohol underage.

"One night, I think it was in December too actually, they went out "carolling". I'm sure they only went up on the roof. And I found Danny on the porch the next morning. Matt had climbed in through the window but Danny was so dizzy he couldn't follow him, so he slept outside the whole night."

Grace tilted her head. "In the cold? All night? Uncle Matt didn’t let him in once he was inside?"

Clara's face changed. She didn’t like to speak ill of the dead, especially not her baby boy who she had loved so much, but there wasn't really a way she could spin it to look as though Matt wasn’t in wrong in this story. Or many stories truth be told.

"Well your uncle is... was... Matt was Matt," Clara said.

he tone she used was gentle but clear that she wouldn't elaborate. Steve knew Grace would still have questions, especially if Clara wouldn't answer them.

Steve laid a hand on Grace's shoulder to plead with her. "Gracie, if Danno finds out about this there will be a lecture, it will be long and boring for all of us, and then I'll never hear the end of it. So for my sake, as well as yours, please don't do anything like this again."

Grace glanced up at Clara. Then back at Steve. Clara tried to look neutral and let her make her own decision. Steve was pleading with her to listen. He won. He always won when he pulled that despite look. 

"Fine. I won't drink again. Till I’m legally allowed," Grace said. She had her fingers crossed though. 

Steve's shoulders eased with relief. "Thank you. And Clara?"

Clara had picked up Grace's glass and was pouring it into hers when Steve said her name. She glanced up, clearly surprised to be called on. 

"What?" She shrugged innocently. 

"Promise me you won't encourage her to break the law like this again," Steve urged.

"Oh fine. You lot are no fun!" Clara tutted.

Fun wasn’t Steve's priority at the moment. He was just doing his best to keep things going smoothly for Danny. He didn't want another blow out. He felt bad enough about the last one. Still, Danny would talk to him about that like a rational adult would, eventually. He always did. All Steve had to do until then was keep putting out fires when they broke out, and really, that was nothing. After all, Steve had run a mostly functional restaurant.

Putting out fires was nothing compared to that.

Steve glanced back towards the living room when he heard the familiar sound of Danny's phone ringing. That personalised tune told Steve that it was Rachel, even from the next room. And while Danny was distracted, the cookies were unguarded...

"Did you want something Steve?" Clara asked.

He looked up in surprise. He hadn’t noticed how far his thoughts had carried him off in such a short period. 

"Oh, well, uh, actually..." he glanced back one last time to ensure the coast was clear, "I know it's early and he’s not here yet, but d'you think Santa would put me on the naughty list if I took a cookie?"

"Santa might not but Danno would," Grace said.

She could still remember listening to Danny reading the riot act the last time Steve ate Santa's cookies before the man had shown up. 

"Listen, y'wineo, if he never finds out about this," Steve picked up a cookie from Santa's plate and adjusted the rest to look as if he hadn’t, "Then he'll never find out about that," Steve nodded towards the now empty wine glass on the side.

"Deal," Grace held out her pinkie finger. 

Steve shoved the cookie into his mouth to free his hand and twist his own pinkie around hers to secure the bond. While he was munching away, he couldn’t help overhearing Danny’s conversation. 

"Of course you can talk to him Rach, I've got no problem with you talking to him, all I’m saying is that I’m a little busy right now, and I'd appreciate it if you could call back later... no, I'm not trying to keep you away from - Rach, I thought we were over this? It's Christmas, he’s off doing Christmassy things with his family, I'm just trying to set up for Santa's visit... Because I want this year to be special okay? Yeah I'll call you back, I promise, look, I gotta go!"

 _Special huh_? Steve thought to himself. His mind set a scene for him, painting a beautiful picture of something very simple he could do to make tonight extra special for Charlie. It would mean a small sacrifice, but one he was more than willing to make.  
Steve knocked twice on the study door to let Eric know Charlie wasn’t about. Then he opened the door and walked in without waiting for permission.

"Yo, Vito, you got a minute?" He asked.

Vito glared at him darkly. "You walk into my study. Risk exposing my costume to my great nephew. On the day of my grand performance. To ask me for a favour?"

"You’re no Al Capone but I appreciate the effort," Steve smirked.

Vito huffed. Unfortunately for him the Santa trousers and braces over his white shirt weren’t the most intimidating look. All he was missing was the lit cigarette hanging from his lips and he would have looked like half the out of work actors Steve watched his father arrest around this time of year as a kid.

"What’d you want?" Vito demanded.

"I wanna do a magic trick. I need your help to make it work though," Steve said. 

Vito furrowed his brow suspiciously, but he couldn’t deny the curiosity that arose in him at the prospect.   
"Go on?"

Steve smirked and shut the door.

...

Since all the attention was on Vito who was dressed as Santa and sat in an armchair by the lit fireplace as he bounced Charlie on his knee, Eric shifted through the room unnoticed. To avoid disturbing the naturally intimate scene that had formed around the chair, Eric was trying to avoid talking. He didn’t want people to catch onto the fact he was staging them.  
Eric laid a hand on Steve’s shoulder and guided him subtly to stand between the arm chair and the Christmas tree. He edged Grace back to stand in front of him. She was closer to the fire than she had wanted to be, so Steve slung an arm around her shoulders to pull her gently away from the flames. Then Eric carefully pushed Danny's shoulder down. Danny turned to bicker at him, but Eric gestured downwards. Danny automatically knelt down onto the floor by Charlie's feet and didn’t question why. He leaned an arm on the top of his bent knee. Then Eric took a step back to take the photo.

Eric was quite proud of his photo in the end. The low fire light warmed the image from the front corner, which contrasted the shadows behind the armchair. Those darker areas were filled in by the soft glow of the rainbow Christmas lights strung up along the window behind them, and wrapped around the Christmas tree in the corner. The light even shone on the trees baubles too.   
The fire highlighted their faces as they framed the chair at the centre of the image. Steve looked down over them from behind. His affectionate smile countered the shadows at the edge of his face, and his arm was visible around Grace's shoulders. Grace was looking over at Vito with a sense of knowing amusement. Her eyes were the brightest part of the image. She still held a sense of wonder in them, but it was countered by the smirk that gave away the fact she knew Santa was Vito. Only half of Danny’s face was visible from where he was turning to look back at Charlie, but the half that was seemed to have regained his youth. All his exhaustion had eased, and what hadn't was hidden by the fire light. The way one of his legs was laying across the floor and the other was cocked at the knee framed the bottom of the image, but his pale blue shirt gave him a brighter gleam.   
In the centre of the photo, Santa's head was angled up by Steve and Grace, but tilted gently to smile at Charlie over his golden framed half moon spectacles.

Vito prided himself on his dedication to his assumed role during con jobs. He did his best to embody whoever he was being. As Santa, he tried to mask his accent with a deep, jolly tone. It was midway through a merry laugh that Eric had caught him. Charlie on his knee took up the rest of the seat. He was distancing himself back towards the opposite arm of the chair, his face was the only one entirely lit up by the fire, which really allowed the suspicion to shine through. His dubious expression, pulling away from the man who’s knee he sat on, utterly contrasted the merry delight of Santa beside him.   
It was a simple snapshot of intimacy that was not unlike the image of the nativity on display outside their local church. This photo would find itself neatly framed and sat on the beside table in Grace's college bedroom. It would also be edited to be brighter and easier to see, and tucked safely into Steve's wallet. Danny, however, preferred the staged photo Eric took later.

"Before I go I have time for one last magic trick for you young man," Santa declared.

Grace took that as her cue. "Excuse me, Mom's calling."

Steve and Danny turned to watch her go in confusion. It was one in the afternoon on Oahu, Rachel was usually busy at this time. It took them a moment to catch on but Charlie knew exactly what she was up to from the start. He flashed her a grateful smile so she threw a wink back.

"What kind of magic trick, _Santa?"_ Charlie asked, pointedly.

"Well now Charlie, maybe you can help me with it. That would be very nice of you," Santa said warmly.

"Sure. I'll help. It was nice of you to drop in, after all I know its the busiest night of the year for you and you've got every other house in the world to do-" Charlie began.

Danny cleared his throat pointedly so Vito reached for the plate on the table. "Exactly, so lets move things along. Pick a cookie."

Charlie eyed the plate. "Any cookie?"

"Any at all," Vito nodded.

Hesitantly Charlie reached over the plate to pick up one of the last two cookies left. Vito bellowed a holly jolly laugh as he did.

"Excellent choice!"

"Made that one myself, extra chocolate chips," Danny smirked at Santa.

It was a lie. Everyone in the room knew it. Yet, since Danny baked these cookies every year, they all kind of forgot that he hadn't managed it this time.

"Mmm, Danny makes a mean cookie," Steve groaned in approval. 

There was a murmur of agreement throughout the room that cause Danny to have a genuine smile for a change. He was pretty proud of his cooking skills. 

"What I need you to do for me Charlie, is hold the cookie in your hand like this. Very good. Now close your eyes nice and tight. Can you see? How many fingers am I holding up? Excellent. Now, you're going to breath in as much as you possibly can, and on the count of three, blow it all out, got that?"

He seemed resistant, but he did as he was told. Charlie laid the cookie flat on his palm and screwed his eyes tightly shut, just as instructed.

"Okay so, deep breath now. Ready? One... two..."

While Charlie was distracted by the lack of air making his lungs burn, Vito switched the cookie in his hand for Joan's specially decorated cookie. Some of the decorations had slipped in transit, but the bright blue mess still had all of its metallic sugar balls and a spiral of strawberry lace, so it still looked edible. Just less gloopy.

"Three!"

Charlie let out all the air in his lungs like a balloon with a leak. His entire chest deflated as he did. With his free hand, Vito waved at the others to force them to make some mystified sounds, as if Charlie had actually made magic. His eyes sprung open, and his jaw dropped in shock.   
The kid was baffled and amazed.   
Steve grinned warmly at Charlie as he bit into his cookie and moaned. As good as it felt to make a child happy like that, part of him felt guilty for giving away Joan's cookie. 

"Have we got time for a photo Santa?" Danny asked Eric.

"A photo? I already got-" Eric began.

Vito ignored him with yet another chuckle, "Of course, of course! But wait! Where's pretty young Gracie? She should be in the photo too!"

"I'll fetch her," Steve said.

Grace was sitting on the bottom step of the stairs playing on her phone. Well she wasn’t really going to go out in the cold to pretend to take a photo now was she? Steve whistled low to get her attention and nodded back towards the door so she'd follow. 

"There she is!" Santa chuckled.

Grace forced an awkward smile, "here I am."

He patted his knee and said, "you aren’t too grown up to sit on my old knee now are you Gracie?"

Grace groaned inwardly. She thought she was, but Vito didn't care. Vito grabbed Grace's arm and half forced her to sit on his knee opposite Charlie. He sat his arm around each of their waists to keep them balanced. The new weight was more than he had expected, but he forced back his pained groan with a ho-ho-ho.  
Danny took a step back to leave the children in frame alone with Santa. Grace forced a smile, and it looked as forced as it felt. Eric took the photo, but wrinkled his nose.

"Hey, uh, uncle D, why don't you jump in too? Fill the frame so to speak," he asked.

"Are you calling me fat?" Danny joked.

"I wouldn’t dare," Eric lied.

"Good, respect your elders," Steve warned.

Danny leaned across the back of the arm chair and flashed a smile, but the kids still looked uncomfortable. Eric hummed dubiously. 

"Hey, Charlie, hold up your magic cookie. Lets show it to the world!" Steve grinned. 

Charlie gasped and lit up. "Yeah!" 

Charlie threw his cookie holding hand in the air with a cheer, which made both Grace and Danny laugh. Eric snapped that shot instantly. A moment of pure family amusement. It ended up on Danny's desk in the palace. Every time Steve saw it, he remembered the cookie. It was a small link back to Joan, but one he valued immensely every time.

Santa said his goodbyes as he tucked neatly wrapped presents into each stocking. He gave them a wink and tapped his nose as he warned them that they were for tomorrow. Santa waved goodbye to Charlie as Charlie was sent down to the basement to change into his pyjamas. Once he was gone, Santa was then bundled up the stairs to the study to transform back into Vito.  
Charlie got changed faster than Vito could, and came bounding up the stairs to Grace. He practically threw himself on her lap to grab her phone. 

As he did he yelled: "Show me the pictures, show me the pictures!"

Grace gave up her phone so that Charlie could examine the photos for himself. His wondrous smile grew wider the more he stared at it. That warmed Steve's heart.


	11. Chapter 11

When Charlie had calmed down he was exhausted. He pretended to be too tired to go downstairs to try and trick Danny into carrying him. Charlie was a bit too big for that, but the attempt made Danny smirk. He scooped him up and carried him downstairs to bed, teasing him for acting like a toddler the whole way. Danny adored it though. He loved the way Charlie thought he could still pretend to need to be carried down to bed, he loved that he could still parent him while Grace was planning her leave. Although now it was a far more raw affection. As much as he wanted Charlie to stay a kid forever, he couldn't. One day - and that day was coming fast - he wouldn't be able to pick Charlie up at all. He tucked Charlie into bed and kissed his head.

"Sweet dreams buddy," he whispered. 

Charlie yawned and snuggled into his pillow as he said, "Nun'night danno."

Danny's ran his hand through his son's hair affectionately. The kid was asleep before Danny got to the basement door.

In the hour of calm following, Vito hid his Santa suit back in the cupboard and returned to the sitting room. On his way down be ran into Eddie. He was still drowsy after his long nap, but he settled in by the fire to help Steve finished off the cookies. Danny's shoulders sagged to see the empty plate.

"Do you really have to eat all of the cookies that I spent all day baking? I've only had one, and they're practically all gone," Danny complained. 

He picked up the plate to take it back to the kitchen. The dishwasher was already on but this could wait in the sink for a while. 

"Hey Danno," Steve called. 

Danny stopped and turned to face him. Steve stood to his fall height standing over the blonde. It wasn’t often that Steve's height bothered him but on the rare occasions that they did it was when he towered over him like this. In the back of Danny's mind there was always a little voice telling him to knee him in the crotch and shrink him down to height. Usually he could ignore it. That voice only got louder when Steve waved a hand behind Danny's ear and drew out one last cookie like a magician. That cocky grin of his hadn't suffered at all from their last unfinished argument. 

"Magic," Steve winked.

"What’s magic? That you can show any sign of generosity by keeping me one last cookie that I made anyway?" Danny countered.

"Most people just say thank you," Steve said. 

"Hilarious," Danny said sarcastically. He took the cookie anyway and muttered, "Thank you."

Danny tidied the empty plates away. When he returned, he collapsed on the couch beside Steve. He was very aware that the two of them needed to talk. 

Steve naturally laid his arm around Danny's shoulders, so Danny was practically lying on him. It was as natural to them as Grace perching on the arm of Eric's chair was to them, or the way that Vito and Eddie were both dozing off with their heads nearly touching in side by side chairs. As the day drifted away into the night, the room had settled into a comforting lull.  
From where she leaned in the doorway of the sitting room, Clara looked around at the pairs that formed so easily in her family. The groups that bubbled up to band together. She chuckled affectionately at them. Then she wandered away to the doorway and gathered up all of the coats that were hanging up in the hall. She bundled them in her arms and carried all of them into the sitting room, like she did every time she needed to usher her family out of the door. 

"Alright, who’s ready for church!" She announced.

Clara walked over to the armchair where Vito was lounging, half asleep and dumped his tattered old coat on him to wake him up. He grumbled about it, obviously. Then she dropped Eddie's coat on his lap. He pretended not to be dozing off again, but they knew better. Clara then swung back around to stare down Danny. Danny had sunk low on the couch beside Steve now.

"Ma the service doesn’t start for two hours!" Danny pointed out.

"But we need to be there when the doors open to get a good seat! I don't want them thinking were the kind of family who only goes to services at Christmas and Easter!" Clara insisted. 

"We aren't that kind of family ma, he knows that," Danny said. 

"Yeah, we never go to Easter service either," Eric muttered to Grace under his breath.

Grace subtly raised her fist so Eric subtly bumped his against it, and they quietly blew it up. Despite Danny's best efforts to avoid Eric having any influence on his cousins, they were closer in Hawaii than they ever were in Jersey. Their friendship had bloomed. When he was out with her, he was the responsible one, so she could be childish, and that was a bigger influence than Danny had expected.

"I can't go, someone needs to stay with Charlie," Danny said. 

"I'll keep you company. I don't tend to do well in church," Steve said.

"He never does well anywhere they want him to sit down and be quiet," Danny said to Clara.

Steve couldn’t argue with that. He was a man of action. You couldn’t find a lot of that in church. 

"Are you coming Gracie?" Clara asked.

Grace's eyes widened in surprise. It had been a while since anyone wanted her to go to church and she wasn't really sure if it was worth it.

"Um..." she hummed. 

"You’re old enough to drink the real wine," Eric muttered quietly. 

Her gaze moved towards Steve. If he was staying here, he'd never know. Besides, she knew Danny had a lot to say to Steve. She heard him ranting in the middle of the night when he thought she was in bed. They needed some privacy. 

"Sure," Grace nodded.

Eric snorted so Grace elbowed him. The move caught Danny's attention enough to raise his suspicion. Steve opened his mouth to ask if she was sure, but Clara shot a finger gun at her with a click of her tongue and cut him off.

"Thatta girl," she grinned.

Grace grinned back as Clara handed Grace her coat and handed Eric his at the same time. He didn't have a choice.

"We'll wait up for you if you want to go, yknow," Steve warned.

"I want to go uncle Steveo," Grace said, firmly but calmly.

Danny ignored the tension in both of their tones that clearly carried hidden messages, but he did ask, "You sure Gracie? You don't have to go if you dont wanna. I know you want to look through the colleges, and I finally have time-" 

Grace shrugged, "No need, Uncle Steveo helped me. He sat there and listened while I talked my way through the options, and now I’ve made a decision." 

Steve felt Danny's head turn and the weight against his chest lighten as Danny pulled away to give him an accusatory glare. 

"Oh you have?" He said, pointedly.

"Yep," Grace nodded.

Steve could feel Danny's glare darkening. An argument would have to be had. A lot had been left unsettled between them, and they needed to talk it out. Steve just hoped Danny wouldn't yell too much. The last thing they needed was the neighbours calling the cops. 

"Care to share that decision with your father who loves you dearly and will be paying all your expenses?" Danny asked. 

"Fine," Grace shrugged. She pulled on her coat and smoothed the buttons gently as she spoke. "Well, I was thinking about what Mom said about following my heritage and going to college in London like she did. It's nice in London, classy, and it looks good on a resume, but it's cold and it's strange there, and I'm not sure I'd like it much."

"Good call," Danny nodded.

The moment the word London had left her lips his heart had stopped. His pulse returned slowly as she carried on talking.

"But I also thought about the money I could save if I came home and stayed here with grandma like you suggested Grandma-"

"You did what now?" Eddie's gaze flicked on Clara.

"Oops, I almost forgot the cookies I made for the choir, be right back!" Clara said.

Eric snorted. He loved Grace's ability to stir the pot to push the attention away from her. As long as he was on her good side, the attention was off him too.

"Are we off then?" Vito asked.

Vito heaved himself up out of his chair and latched onto Eric. Vito thought he was being subtle about how heavily he had to lean on Eric to keep himself upright, but everyone could see how it weighed on Eric. Eric never mentioned it once though. Instead he quietly walked Vito out to the car, complaining about the cold instead. 

"Anyway," Grace continued, "I wasn't so sure about what _I_ wanted from a college, but then I talked to Uncle Steve, and I decided that-"

"Come on Eddie, we'll be late!" Clara called from the doorstep.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Eddie called back. He tugged his lapels up tighter around him and nudged Grace gently as he passed. She paused mid sentence to listen to him. "Come on Grace, let's go before your grandma decides she’s driving. Believe me, you'll want to be in church then."

Grace laughed and nodded. "Coming grandpa."

He held his arm up for her to link hers through, as though he were escorting her somewhere high class and refined. Grace giggled again, but took his arm. She allowed him to walk her out of the room, instantly forgetting the conversation she had just been having. Danny scrambled off of the couch after her.

"Be good you two! I don't want to find bullet holes when I get back!" Clara called.

Danny dashed out into the doorway and called, "Hey, Grace, wait!" Just as the front door slammed shut.

He could have chased her. A few years ago he would have chased her. He would have leapt in his car, thrown on the sirens, and pulled the entire family over just to find out what she had to say.  
But Grace was growing up now. He couldn’t control her actions. She made her own choices, and accepted responsibility for the repercussions like everybody else had to. She made that clear herself multiple times.   
Besides Rachel had giving him a long lecture on why he had to let Grace have her secrets when she was about fourteen and he didn’t want another one.  
He dragged his feet back into the sitting room and back to Steve. 

"How’d you like that? She picked God over her own father," Danny huffed.

"Yeah, who'da thought that? Just you and me I guess bruh," Steve shrugged. 

His tongue circled the entrance of his beer bottle as he took a long sip from it. The way his foot rested on the coffee table bent his knee, so he rested his arm on it between sips. Danny watched the beer run down his throat as he swallowed. Back home he would have had his leg knocked down by Eddie the dog, probably spilling beer everywhere as he did. Or they'd have been interrupted by someone else. Or a case.

Danny felt a rush of nostalgia for those moments. Tiny, forgettable moments that he couldn’t even pin point on a timeline anymore...  
But the times, they are a changing.  
Danny sat down besides Steve, putting some space between them for a change.

"Well? Are you gonna tell me or not?" He asked.

Steve hummed thoughtfully, took another long, slow sip, swilled the beer in his mouth, and swallowed it back with a satisfied ah. All the while Danny grew more impatient. 

"Not," he declared finally.

"Oh come on!" Danny cried. "What kind of sick twisted mental games are you two playing here Steve?! Don't I have a right to know?! She's my daughter for fucks sake..."

"Look, even if I could tell you I wouldn’t. That’s Grace's news to share not mine. Besides, this is the first I heard that she's made a decision," Steve explained.

"She said you helped her make that decision," Danny said.

"I did," Steve nodded.

"But you don't know it?"

"I do not."

"And I'm supposed to believe you?"

"All she did was tell me about her college options and what she liked and disliked about them. She didn't even tell me what she was looking for in a college. I just... sat there."

"You mean it? You really don't know?"

"It's the truth Danno. Promise."

"Great. What a fat load of good you are!"

Danny stood up in frustration and stormed off toward the kitchen. Steve sighed into his beer bottle and finished it off. As frustrated as he was, Danny couldn't think of any way to let it out beyond just screaming in the garden but that might wake Charlie. All he could do was grumpily munch the cookie Steve had given him. By now it really was the only one left. There was nothing else to help him vent his frustration so he came back in he sulked in his seat.

"Is there any more beer?"

Steve shook the bottle to show it was empty so Danny groaned again. Steve pushed a mug across the table towards him.

"Eggnog?" He offered.

Danny sighed and covered his eyes with his hand like he had a migraine. From behind his hand he said, "There's beer in the vegetable drawer."

It was clear to both of them that he was not getting up again. Steve frowned. He rose to his feet and went to investigate. Sure enough there was another six pack hidden in the vegetable drawer in the fridge. He grabbed two and returned to the room. 

"Where do you keep your vegetables?" He joked.

"Apparently we keep carrots at the petting zoo so who knows?" Danny smirked.

Steve laughed along with him. In retrospect, it was hilarious to imagine Vito and Eric trying to take that reindeer back down through the city. Just the idea of it was enough to entertain them. It would never have fit in the truck, so they would have had to walk it the whole way. They couldn't begin to imagine the excuses they'd spin for the officer that would definitely have stopped to question them.

Steve grunted as he sat down. He reached across the coffee table and handed a bottle to Danny. Danny leaned across the table to reach it.

"Thank you," he said.

They opened their beers and stared at the television in silence as they settled back into the comfort of each others company. Even as they tried to make it feel like home, they couldn’t quite manage to find whatever key ingredient made them just click. It felt like something between them was jammed somehow. Steve needed to know what. What kind of elephant was sitting in this room? Finally he rolled his head across the back of the chair and watched him quietly.

"So are we gonna talk about it?" He asked. 

Danny glanced back at him. The low light made his bright blue eyes shine. It exposed his exhaustion once again.

"It's just you and me here Danny. Is there any better opportunity to talk?"

Danny threw an arm in the air and shrugged. "We can talk about anything you want. Work, our friends, Eddie, Junior's proposal, Jerry's book-" 

Steve's head snapped up. "Junior proposed?! To who, to Tani?"

"No to his reflection, of course to Tani! What the hell kind of question is that?" Danny huffed.

"Well what did she say?!" Steve insisted. 

Danny shrugged. "She said she'll think about it, but given that’s what she said about dating in the first place, let alone moving in together-"

Steve's jaw fell open as he realised how much he had been missing out on. "I've been gone like four months!"

"Actually its nearly six," Danny corrected. 

"Is it really?!" Steve gasped. He blinked in bewilderment for a moment before shaking his head, "We'll circle back to that, _and_ to Junior and Tani in a minute, but I think we should talk about why you’re so mad at me first."

Danny shifted back in his seat uncomfortably. He didn't like talking about his feelings. That's why he preferred going to therapy sessions together. At there they were both under the microscope. 

He shot a condescending look at Steve. "Wow. You really think the world revolves around you huh?"

"No I don't think that, what I do think is that you’re angry-" Steve began.

"I am, thank you for noticing, now what’s your point?" Danny demanded.

"You can't take your anger out on your kids because its not their problem-"

"Correct. Who takes anger out on kids anyway? If you do that you’ve got issues, like, real issues-"

"You can't take it out on your family because they’re not involved so that’s not fair-"

"Uh, also correct, but Vito is always involved in some way when I’m in Jersey so-"

"So instead you’re taking it out on me. Now I’m a strong enough man to know not to take things personally, but I'd like to know what's happened to you that makes you angry enough to go to blows over frosting," Steve finished firmly and stubbornly.

Danny stared at Steve, pressing a finger to his temple as he did. The long, lingering stare was something he reserved for special occasions. Mostly interrogations or torture. Usually it made people uncomfortable enough to avoid eye contact, and give up their upper hand. But Steve had his own lingering stare, and he could stare down hardier criminals than Danny had to. So Danny conceded. 

"I'm gonna need another beer if we're actually going to open up like this," he decided.

"If you promise to actually talk and not get mad-" Steve began.

"I'm not gonna get mad if you don't do things to make me mad," Danny interrupted defensively. 

"You're already starting! We have to be adult about this-"

"I am the grown up out of the two of us, you are the neanderthal-"

"Really, because me and Grace were about to talk out our differences really easily because she didn't get defensive-"

"I'm not being defensive!" Danny snapped.

Steve urged regardless, "Will you please promise to talk to me and tell me why you're mad if I say something that annoys you?! How am I meant to fix problems when I don't know what's wrong?"

Danny pressed a finger to his temple and sighed again, trying to regain his cool. "You wanna know my problem? You wanna fix it?"

"I'd like to try!" Steve nodded.

"My problem is that I want another beer."

"Fine. I'll grab you one."

"Thank you."

He left his beer on the coffee table and headed for the kitchen. Now, Danny didn’t like being petty, but it was a built in impulse he couldn’t always fight. So since the opportunity had arisen, he stood up to get a candy cane from the Christmas tree to drop it into Steve's beer. It was at just the right level to start dissolving before he came back. Danny sat back down in his seat to pretend he hadn’t moved.  
When Steve came back he placed the bottle in front of Danny and sat back down. Steve picked the bottle up by the neck and looked at the candy cane dangling in it. It rattled when he shook it. Steve pursed his lips and looked over at Danny. Danny showed no sign of reaction. He kept his expression under control and refused to even look at Steve. Silently, Steve took the candy cane out of his bottle, licked the alcohol off if it, and set it on one of the napkins that Clara had left on the table.

Danny turned when he saw Steve lift the bottle. "You still gonna drink that?"

Steve raised his eyebrows and smirked as he lifted the bottle to his mouth. Danny licked his lips as Steve's tongue ran across the ring of the bottle. He put the tingles it caused down to curiosity. He drank it slowly, and glanced back at Danny as he finished and set the bottle down, pointedly.

"Enjoy it?" Danny asked. 

Steve wrinkled his nose to give Danny a turtle face. "Not so bad. Mint makes it more refreshing."

"Refreshing huh?" Danny smirked.

Steve smirked back and tilted the bottle towards him. "Wanna try?"

Danny furrowed his brow at him, "No I don't wanna try your dirty beer, what’s the matter with you?!"

"See?! You say you’re not mad but you’re trying to bite my head off! What's the matter with me, what’s the matter with you?!" Steve demanded back.

"Fine, I'm mad alright?! I’m mad! You’re right, I'm mad! I’m mad at my family for being chaotic, I'm mad at my kids for growing up so fast, I'm mad at you for leaving but mostly I'm mad at myself for not being able to handle any of it!"

Steve tilted his head patiently as Danny licked his lips again. He could tell he wasn't quite finished yet which was a good thing. As long as Danny was talking to him, he was opening up. That's what Steve wanted more than anything. 

"I am not mad at you. Okay, I'm not. I’m mad at myself..." Danny heaved a sigh and rubbed his face. Then he dropped his hands into his lap and said, "it's my problem, not yours."

Steve reached out towards him as he said, "Hey, buddy, we're friends. That means your problems are my problems. That’s what it means when I say I have your back, that’s what I signed on for when I chose you as my partner. We're in this together."

Danny scoffed. "Really? Together?"

"Of course, always," Steve promised.

"That’s great. That’s really great. My problem is that everything I should be able to do alone I can't, because I need you too much, but we can fix that _together,"_ Danny scoffed. 

Steve tilted his head. His jaw fell opened as he stared into thin air in the vague direction of Danny. A lot of things suddenly clicked back into place for him. Things that really should have been more obvious to someone trained to look for hidden motives.

"To be honest, I was not expecting that," he said.

Since there was no going back now, there was no point in holding back either. Danny held his beer tighter and avoiding direct eye contact. 

"I just feel like I was probably leaning too heavily on you when you were on the island. When you said you were leaving I knew I was gonna miss you but I didn’t even think about the kids and how it would affect them. They miss you all the time and I just... Plus I think the kids are mad at me. I mean I know Grace is - was - whatever, but Charlie seems off too. I dunno, maybe I'm just projecting," he admitted. 

Steve nodded along, listening quietly to what Danny had to say. Then he cleared his throat.

"And uh, why is Grace mad at you?" He asked. 

Steve felt like he already knew the answer. He did. But Danny was just too close to see the answer that was in front of him, so he shrugged. 

"Every time I ask she fobs me off. She told this could wait until after Christmas. I mean she only chose a college today and- I wasn't there to help, and - oh no!" he groaned as he remembered something. 

Steve straightened his back to high alert, instinctively scouting for dangers, "What?"

"I made sure that I had time to bake with Charlie, but I promised her I'd make time today to go through her college options. I forgot my promise... That’s what she meant by me making time for Charlie instead of her, I'm such an idiot," He groaned.

As he realised there was no danger, Steve’s shoulders slouched again. "She didn't mention it."

"But _you_ made time. You talked her into making a choice about where she’s going to college and now I have no idea where my daughter is going to live this time next year," Danny sighed in frustration.

"I barely talked. I think she just wanted to talk and hear what she had to say," Steve shrugged.

He was used to people thinking out loud by pretending to talk through plans with him. Usually it was his superiors. There were times when he was younger his orders were to just stand silently while Joe created plans by talking at him. 

Danny sighed, "I could have done that if I'd known."

"Danny, I don't think it would have made a difference. All day you've been fussing over Charlie, making sure everything’s perfect for Charlie, when I told you I'd take on some of the strain so you could spend time with Grace, you blew up at me," Steve pointed out calmly.

Danny reared back, ready to argue again, but he couldn’t find the words to support his defence. "I wouldn’t call that blowing up... I just... got mad... I wanted to spend time with my son..."

"I get that. I get it. For what it's worth though, I think you should spend some more time with Grace. Y'know, alone. I know it's not my place to say, it's your family-"

"If there's one thing I've learned today it's that family is always difficult, but not always around... I shouldn't be mad at you for trying to make the most of the time we have together. I should make the most if it too. I don't have much more time with Grace before she leaves, and who knows what'll happen after that... so yes. It is your place to say," Danny said.

That allowance eased the last of the tenion in Steve's chest. If it was his place to speak freely then he was going to, because he had a lot to say that he had been holding back. But he was going to do it carefully. Danny liked to accuse him of using a mallet to break a walnut. He didn't want to prove him right.

"Is it like this at home too?"

Danny hesitated to nod. "Gracie's a teenager. She doesn't want to be smothered by her parents. I have to let her have her own life. Even if that means I can't go out to find her when I'm looking after Charlie."

Steve frowned. He thought back to when he was young, and Mary-Ann was born. The sparks of jealousy that he felt back then had melted away as he grew protective of his little sister, but it took Doris's fake death to destroy them completely. He shifted as they remembered that.

"Y'know she was Rachel and your number one priority for ten years before he came along. It took another three after that for you to find out he was yours too. Are you really that surprised she's struggle to give up that attention?" Steve asked gently. 

Danny honestly couldn’t answer because he just didn’t know anymore. It seemed like time had gone out of the window and their schedules were all over lapping so he couldn't keep track. Quality of family time had definitely taken a nose dive though. The last big thing he could remember doing as a family, was when the kids helped him to move the rest of his stuff from his apartment into Steve's when he claimed the house.   
But he couldn't deny prioritizing Charlie. He told himself it was because Charlie was younger, he needed him more, but that wasn’t just it.   
And if he was going to open up to anyone about that, it would always be Steve. 

"I lost out on knowing my son for the first three years of his life and when I finally found out that his was mine, he was sick. I didn’t know how much time we could have together, especially since he's still living between houses. I don't get to see him every day like I did with Grace when she was young. Every moment we have together is really important to me."

Steve's soft eyes were really blameless. He didn't judge Danny’s decisions, or if he did, his expressionless mask didn’t give the game away. He just nodded understandingly. The made it so much easier to pour Danny's heart out to him.

"I get that. I get that Danno, I really do, but Grace is leaving. When she goes you can have all the time in the world with Charlie, but for now, Grace is here too," he said gently.

Danny scoffed. A bitterness stung in his chest when he heard Steve talk like that. As understanding as he could be, he was utterly clueless.

"You're not exactly the right person to tell me life is short and I need to spend it with people important y'know," Danny warned.

"I didn’t. But since you brought it up," Steve smirked.

Danny rolled his eyes. He raised his bottle towards his mouth and bitterly said, "You're important too y'know. Not that you’re around to appreciate it."

Steve's eyes lit up at this, so Danny took a long gulp from his beer to avoid having to respond to his clear delight. 

"I'm important because I'm an important person or just important to you?" He goaded.

Danny continued to drink slowly, then he swilled the drink in his mouth, and swallowed hard. He smacked his lips and gave a satisfied ah, in retaliation for Steve's actions earlier. Steve smirked at him. He was rather fond of the pettiness. Then Danny leaned back in his chair and gave a sigh. He picked at the label of his bottle as he thought aloud.

"When I was stuck on a bomb and I didn’t know if I would survive to see Gracie again. D'you remember that?"

"Vaguely. There’s been a lot of explosions," Steve said.

"Because you’re a danger magnet," Danny huffed.

"I'm not a -"

"Anyway this one was different. When the fail safe went you stayed with me the whole time, even when I told you to go because you’re stubborn and pig headed, and I am still so grateful you did. When I asked you to take care of Grace for me you said-"

"That’s your job, you're her dad," Steve finished, "I do remember." 

"You do?" Danny repeated. 

Middrink Steve nodded. "Course."

"Well here's the thing... Matty was Gracie's godfather. I don't think Charlie actually got Christianed after everything that was happening - don't tell mom that," Danny warned.

Steve crossed his heart obediently. 

"Matt was her godfather because I thought he would never do anything to endanger our family in any way, and the kids would be safe with him looking out for them... but now..."

Steve reached out to stroke Danny's back reassuringly. Back home he never talked about Matthew. It had to be something to do with Jersey. Echos of his life surrounded him like ghosts, making him double think everything. Steve could relate. That house he'd grown up in had changed over recent years. The happy memories were harder to find. Especially when he was alone there.

"I've thought about what would happen to Grace and Charlie if something ever did happen to me, and I... I trust you. For some reason whenever I think of the future you're in it. It doesn't matter if I get remarried or find someone, I always imagine you there with us."

"Is that a good thing?" Steve asked cautiously. 

Danny nodded his head quietly. "When I was facing death in the face all I could think of was how horrible it would be for Grace but how she'd be okay because you'd be there for her... and you'd be as good a godfather as Matt was."

Steve felt a surge of pride at the idea of being tied to Grace like that. To actually have a title, beyond Uncle. But he was caught on something. 

"You really thought I would be able to raise your daughter without you?" He asked. 

"I didn't have much choice, and I trusted you. Why, don't you think you could?" Danny challenged. 

"I didn't even think about it. I couldn't imagine it. I was terrified," Steve admitted. "I thought I was about to lose you and that thought was more painful than anything else I could have faced."

"Really?"

Danny couldn’t hold back his smile. Part of him was incredibly pleased to know that Steve was just as worried about him as he was of Steve.

For a split second Steve wondered if this was the moment to confess the truth to him. To tell him what was going on in that big baffled heart of his. Just the two of them, here, in his childhood home, by the fire place, with cold beer... but if he did it might ruin Christmas day. Instead he flashed him a smile.

"Could you imagine what I'd be like if you weren’t there to rein me in? You surviving did Hawaii a favour," Steve smirked. 

"I did didn’t I? For a while there it was really like having another kid but you were hyperactive with a gun," Danny chuckled.

"If anyone could parent that kid it's you man," Steve said. 

"Stop," Danny groaned.

"No I mean it! You’re a great dad Danno, those kids are so lucky to have you."

Steve was being earnest in his insistence and Danny groaned at it, not because he didn’t want to believe it, but because he couldn’t bring himself to. He stared down at the bottle again, quietly picking at the label. There was a beat before he spoke again.

"D'you mean that?"

It was such a quiet plead for truth that Steve frowned at him. Danny sighed again and shrugged quietly.

"Because I've been really worried that maybe I wasn’t being a good enough dad for them recently."

"What?!" Steve gagged on his drink, which made him choke on the word.

"Look, obviously I'd devote my whole life to them. There is nothing I wouldn't do for them. And I have, I have given both of them everything I could and it's been fine. I didn’t realise it but for the last ten years I've had you backing me up when Rachel couldn't. I don't know how to take care of them alone because I never had to before."

"Sure you did!" Steve insisted. "Before I started Five-O you had Grace all the time-"

Danny cut him off firmly to explain, "I had Grace alone in my apartment in Jersey just fine, butt we weren't far from here. Ma was just a few minutes away when I needed her. I needed a lot of people then. And I threw myself into my job to avoid feeling anything so I did overtime instead of being with Grace. Then I followed her five thousand miles and I had to fight for her all over again but this time - this time, I had you in my corner. When I looked like I was really going to lose her, you spoke to the governor. When Stan moved to Vegas and I almost lost her, you were my character witness. When her school dance was held hostage, you broke us out. When I couldn’t hack the school's physical training, you took over. When we stayed in the hospital while she had surgery, _you_ found and arrested the guy who put her there. You were even the first guy who managed to make me and Rachel talk like mature adults again Steve! If that hadn’t happened, Charlie might not even be here... I couldn't have done half the things I did with them if you weren’t there to pick up the slack."

As Danny finished, Steve was staring straight forward, taking it all in. All his life he had tried to see things from every angle, to see every possible out come and the lasting effects his actions would have. Yet everything Danny said had never entered Steve’s mind. It took him aback. All of that, protecting his ohana, it was part of the job. He hadn't even thought about it, let along what it had lead to. Danny was grateful to be living on borrowed time, but Steve was the catalyst that made that time _life._

"I... I never thought of any of that... I was just helping out the people I love. If it was that hard when I left, why didn’t you tell me?" He asked.

Danny shrugged. "When? On all our late night early morning catch ups? Waste all our ten minutes conversation on what's going wrong? No thanks."

"Yeah we probably could have done with better coms, but I would have come back if I knew you needed me. If I had known... If I had known I was needed, I would have been there," Steve insisted. 

Danny tilted his head at Steve in a way that said everything he needed to, but it didn't ease the guilt in Steve's chest, so he said it anyway. 

"I uh, I know you would. That’s why I didn’t."

Danny had known Steve for ten years. He had been to hell and back - alright, North Korea, but it felt like hell - to save Steve went he ran off to protect Jenna just because she asked. He had picked up the slack when he and Junior left to rescue Joe White. If there was one thing Danny knew it was that Steve would be there the moment he was needed, come hell or highwater. But that didn't mean he wanted to be there.

"That’s ridiculous, why would you actively avoid help?" Steve scoffed.

"It wasn’t your problem! It was my problem!" Danny repeated loudly and slowly because to him that was obvious. "Besides, I thought we would find a new rhythm once you were gone long enough and when we didn’t, it was too late. I didn’t want to be the person who stopped you from doing what you wanted to do, and if you wanted to be away from O'ahu, who am I to stop you?"

Steve felt that same heavy weight in his chest now that he had felt a dozen times as head of Five-O. As easy as it was to understand why his team kept things from him until they had rock solid proof, or the secrets became too hard to keep, it was never easy to hear that people he cared about were keeping secrets from him. Especially important secrets.   
He'd had enough of that from his parents. Doris could and did manipulate people he loved to lie to him. Even Catherine. He had hoped at least Danny would be honest with him. Even if it hurt.

Especially if it hurt. 

"Danny I really wish you had called me," Steve whispered. 

Danny bowed his head. It felt like a blow to the stomach to see how his secrets had hurt Steve. He hadn’t meant for any of this to happen, and he hated letting down Steve more than anything. Even if just hours ago he'd been ready to punch him.

"All that joking about us being married, I never really realized how true they were," Danny said quietly. His lip curled up into a smirk even as he tried not to let it, even though the idea gave him butterflies. "You’d think I could do better."

Steve chuckled softly, but he kept his head down too. It was a lot to take in, and it was taking a while.

"I’m sorry," he said, finally. 

"Good. For what though, you owe me a lot of apologies," Danny said.

"I didn’t realise me leaving would impact you so much. Truth be told I realised earlier how much I had missed of Grace growing up recently. She certainly let me know that too," Steve smiled.

"Yeah she can be scary. Gets it from her mom," Danny smiled too.

"Good. That means she’s tough. Like her old man. She's grown up good," Steve said.

"Yeah. I’m really lucky. I tell you, when I found out we were having a girl I freaked. I really did, I had no idea how to raise a girl, I was terrified. I still am. Whenever I can't see her, I can't help but worry about what’s happening around her and who she's with and if she’s safe... But I'm so lucky to have her. I wouldn't give that up for anything."

Danny's proud smile was so full of love that it was reserved solely for when he was talking about his family. And - not that Steve would know this since he was never around to witness it - that included Steve.  
Steve was quiet for a while after that. Danny didn’t like it when Steve was quiet. It usually meant that he was thinking, and when Steve was thinking it usually lead to planning and Danny didn’t like Steve's plans. They inevitably ended with gunfire and paperwork.   
Danny had always hated paperwork and when Steve was around there was mountains of it.

"Tell me what you’re thinking," Danny said.

"It's nothing," Steve said.

"It's always nothing, you can't think of anything if you haven’t got a brain," Danny said. 

Steve rolled his eyes but he couldn’t help the way that a soft smile escaped his lips. Once he had said Danny's curmudgeonly outbursts were love letters to him. He hadn't truly believed that then, but the more time they spent apartbthe less insults he heard and it felt odd but he missed them.

"Do you.... do you remember Lady Sophia?" Steve asked tentatively. 

Danny pursed his lips as he thought. "Harry's spoilt rich brat? What about her?"

"Harry said he hadn’t seen her in years and she changed. Grew up. She wasn’t the girl he knew anymore," Steve said.

"What’s your point? Grace isn't anything like that girl," Danny said, defensively. 

"No, I know, but she’s right. When I left I didn’t even think to say goodbye. I just kind of assumed nothing would change while I was gone. But she's decided where she wants to go to college and she'll leave and..." Steve felt a sickly cold in his stomach that he often got when he thought about the path he had taken to get here. "If I hadn’t come here now and she had left before I saw you again, how many years would pass before I saw her again?"

Truth be told with him constantly moving and her at college they could have missed each other as easily as he kept missing Danny's phone calls. And if she decided not to come home for some reason, he may have never seen her again. Then her grievances would never have been settled. That grudge could grow. She could even grow to hate him. But sometimes the truth didn't need to be told.

"Who knows?" Danny shrugged. "She delayed a year because she couldn’t decide which one to pick. It's been stressing her out and I didn’t know how to help. We even tried surfing again-"

"Oh please tell me there’s photos of that!" Steve laughed. 

"Hey, Kono has helped me a lot okay! I'm not as bad as I used to be," Danny argued. 

"So there are photos?" Steve grinned. 

Danny laughed and shook his head, "Fortunately there is not."

"Shame!" Steve chuckled. Then he sighed, holding onto that smile as he did, "Still, you've gotta be proud of her for getting into her top four choices right?"

"Yeah babe of course! She’s the smartest, strongest and prettiest girl in America... and she’s about to go somewhere where I will not be able to protect her..."

Danny took a deep breath to try and regain control of his chest pain. Steve leaned closer to Danny in a vague attempt to reassure him things weren’t as bad as they seemed.

"Come on, you're her Danno. You'll always protect her."

"I will. And when I can't..."

Danny trailed off as he thought of everyone who he could possibly leave in charge of Grace. Kamekona had offered once. Kamekona was a good man, but he definitely wasn't the kind of person who would focus on raising a kid. Chin Ho Kelly was his first choice, but he was so far away now and Hawaii was her home. Plus he had already adopted one kid, he probably didn't have space for two more. Kono and Adam were his next choice, but really, it had to be Steve. The kids loved Steve and they loved him and he was close with Rachel too. 

But Steve wasn't in Hawaii either.

"When you can't, I will," Steve promised. "Obviously. I mean, no one messes with our ohana right?"

"You'd have to come back to Hawaii."

"Right..."

Steve trailed off as he thought of home. He had been wandering around for so long, looking for what Danny had, and Danny was so annoyed at him trying to wriggle in. Of course he would go home for the kids if something happened to Danny. He'd go home as soon as Danny asked. But if Danny didn't want him there... Steve stole a glance while Danny wasn't looking. He was so close. All Steve had to do was ask if he wanted him there. If he was welcome home. But he didn't want to assume, and he couldn't bring himself to ask.

What if he said no?

Danny watched him quietly. He was so close he could reach out and brush his hair without stretching his arm. As far as he had gone, he always came back. Steve was always there when he needed him. Danny could reach across and touch him. He could take his hand and ask him to come home with him. But what if he didn't want to? He didn't want to guilt Steve into it. He wanted him to choose to come home. He had to want it too. So he didn't ask.

"Look, I know I could have been more welcoming when you came to the house. I guess I’ve just been feeling... I dunno, jealous? My kids don't stop talking about you and that was fine when you weren’t around, but then I came here to take a break and you were here so I just..."

Danny trailed off with a helpless wave of his hand. He couldn't find the words.

"Felt like you were being pushed out?" Steve offered.

Danny gave a slow and thoughtful nod of agreement. Once again he was avoiding eye contact, so Steve took the opportunity to watch him without being caught.

"Y'know Charlie told me he wished you were here and I wasn't once," Danny said calmly. 

Steve's eyes widened. "He did? He didn’t mean it."

"No he did," Danny said casually, "we were having an argument about brushing his teeth and going to bed but it had been a long day and I couldn’t make it fun like you could."

When it had happened it hurt Danny too deeply for him to tell anyone about it. That had nagged at the back of his mind since it happened. Now he was talking to Steve though, that hurt just fell away from it like it hadn’t ever been there. Just by telling Steve what Charlie said had turned it into a silly thing a kid had said when he was upset once. That made Steve's grin change.

"Did you just call me fun?" Steve asked.

Danny rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Fun for an eight year old maybe. Anyway I wasn’t finished."

Steve perked up. "There’s more compliments? Well carry on I’m all ears."

"Alright hot shot, don't boost that ego too much or your head will crack," Danny scoffed. "I'm beginning to wonder what's left on the island when she goes. Apart from Charlie obviously. And maybe Five-O."

"It's more than what I had," Steve said. 

"Oh yeah that was nothing compared to what you've decided you want now. Now you've grown up you want, what?" Danny asked, rhetorically. He wrinkled his nose in the same kind of turtle face that Steve was known for as he waved his hand thoughtfully. "A nice house obviously. A decent car too. Some happy kids who you love and who love you, maybe a dog too who you can exercise with in the morning. Ooh and a nice garden, maybe on the beach, to have some parties and invite the friends round-"

It weighed heavily on his shoulders to hear Danny digging in everything that Steve had left behind.Steve rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Don't. Don't do that."

"Don't do what?" Danny asked innocently. 

"You’re describing what I had before I left O'ahu because you think it'll make me realise I made a big mistake in leaving because whatever I was looking for was looking right back at me and I just couldn't see it. Joke's on you because I already know."

Sometimes Danny wondered if he could charge for the amount of times he found himself acting as a therapist, but he never would for two reasons. Firstly, he was a father and he couldnt help adopting anyone who looked like they needed him. Secondly, and more importantly, he had opinions and his opinions always had to be voiced. Therapists weren't really supposed to do that. 

"If you know that, why didn't you come back yourself instead of waiting for me to ask?" He asked. 

"Because- because..." Steve stammered.

"Because?" Danny asked. 

Steve clenched his jaw and let out a deep sigh. He dropped his head so his chin hit his chest.

"Because I was too proud," he admitted.

Danny's eyebrows shot up. He sat up in his chair and felt a smile grow without his permission. "I’m sorry did the great Steve mcgarret just admit to a flaw? It really is a Christmas miracle!"

"Hey I’m opening up to you here, don't be an ass," Steve laughed.

"You're right, I'm sorry, go on. You're proud," Danny repeated. 

Steve nodded. "I was. I made a whole big deal about leaving the island and then I realised I only needed to step back from my job... I felt stupid for not realising sooner, and guilty about not visiting Mary enough, so. I mean I visited other people too. Friends I haven’t seen in a while."

"Are you still too proud to come home?" Danny asked quietly.

Steve gave him a lost look. "Is it still home?"

Danny shrugged. "Kono came home."

"I saw Chin, he said Kono was heading back to O'ahu," Steve said.

"She did yeah. She said the island calls everyone home eventually," Danny said.

Kono had been mocking Steve at the time, which would have made him laugh if he had been there. 

"I bet Adam's happy about that? I don't think he ever got over her," Steve said.

The truth of the matter was that ten minutes with Kono and it was as if they had never been apart. Not just for Adam, but for all of the team. If she had changed it was just to enhance whatever they loved about her before. Sure, she wasn’t that rookie who left the island anymore, but that only made her better. Even for all of the changes on O'ahu Kono fit back into island life easily. She got on with Tani worryingly well. Tani was already too much like Steve, she didn't need the encouragement she got. It helped her feel welcome though. But Kono made room for the adjustment. It was her choice to work with the Molokai drugs team to give the others space to get used to the idea of her being back. That space gave her time and distance to find her feet, and for Adam to find his with her.  
It was not something Danny could see Steve doing. 

"But if you did want to come home... what's stopping you?" Danny asked. 

Steve had an answer to that one, but he wasn't sure Danny was ready to hear it. First Steve needed an answer himself.

"Do you want me to come home?" He asked, hesitantly. 

Danny had an answer to that, but he wasn't sure he was ready to admit it. Besides if he did, that would open up a whole new topic to distract them.

"What's your plan if you don't? Just keep wandering forever?" Danny asked.

Steve shrugged. He didn't really have a plan. It was a scary thing for him to admit, but he wasn't really sure what he was doing at all. There was one key thing that drove him back there, but if Danny wasn't on the same page, Steve could ruin everything they had. Again.

"I went to see Mary. Been with her since. I wasn’t lying before though, it was hard to just be an uncle to Joan. That made me miss the kids more than anything. But you're right, you can't just walk out of a kids life once you're important to them. Grace proved that. I can't risk hurting Joanie too."

"Was that the plan? To just live with your sister until Joan was grown up and moved out?" Danny scoffed.

"Hey, I gave my sister a place to stay every time she came home!" Steve argued.

"Yeah, the house you two grew up in! And she was the one who decided it was better to stay in an air B'n'B," Danny countered.

"I thought about living alone but it didn’t feel right!" Steve shrugged. "When Junior moved out and you moved in I realised I had never lived alone. I lived with my family till I signed up, I loved with team until I ended up back home, and you lot moved in. I don't think I can handle alone."

"But you’re still alone."

"I’m still single. I don't know about alone."

Alone in that house was never really alone. Even when Steve tried to remember the happy times - tangled on the couch with Catherine, watching Mary meet Doris for the first time in twenty years, lifting Charlie onto his shoulders so he could put the star on top of the tree - they were all tainted by what Steve had lost. The arguments that had come with them and pulled them apart. That made it harder to be alone there

It was nice to know that his house was being cared for, especially by a family. His family. But if he did choose to go home, where would he go? Did Danny even want him back? He didn't seem to.

"Then why are you here?" Danny asked.

Steve scoffed scornfully at the question. The way he nodded as he did was the same way he nodded when Danny asked him questions out of derision. That’s why Danny had to press the question to finally get an answer.

"It's a fair question, if you were happy visiting your old friends and family, many of whom you’ve never even mentioned before, why even come back?" Danny repeated stubbornly. 

Steve's expression changed. One eye squinted as he furrowed his brow, and he gave Danny a baffled look rigged with suspicion.

"Are you being serious right now?" He asked rhetorically. 

Danny felt like he was missing something obvious, which made him feel insecure about his detective skills so he became a little defensive. 

"What? What’d you mean? What’d I say?" He demanded.

"You seriously don't know?" Steve asked, surprised.

Danny raised his voice as the defensiveness kicked in. "What are you talking about?! What am I a mind reader suddenly, how would I know?!" 

Steve raised his voice back to be heard over Danny, "I already told you why I came back-"

"Then tell me again because you clearly breezed over it-"

"I came back for _you,_ you idiot!"

Danny's heart beat a little faster but his expression remained stoic. It wasn’t the first time that Steve found himself wondering if all these years interrogating perps and never being allowed to give them any clues to what he was really thinking had left Danny unable to express his emotional facially. He never just reacted. He always seemed to have to think about how he felt before showing it somehow.

Unless he was angry because Steve could get that straight away. That and relief. And that fleeting moment of utter joy when he got to hug his kids for the first time since they left for Rachel’s.   
But those were obvious and hard to hide anyway.

This was treacherous ground and it made Steve's heart ache desperately and fearfully in a way he hadn’t felt since before Joe White forced him to ask out Catherine. At least back then he knew there was a good chance she'd agree so risking all that they had wasn’t much of a risk.

But this was Danny.   
This was home.  
Family.   
Everything. 

"Me? Why? Why me?" Danny asked finally.

Steve's lungs almost collapsed with relief. Just hearing his voice eased the tension. Danny's tone was softer, which could have just been the alcohol, but Steve didn’t dare question it.

"Because..."

Danny's heart was in his throat. He was silently pleading, begging, urging Steve to say it. To confess what Danny wanted to hear. What Danny wanted to confess. If he said it, if he could admit it, Danny might be able to too. Then he'd know for sure Steve wanted to come home. That he was choosing Danny, not just settling for him.

But as brave as Steve was, he was a coward when it came to his heart. 

"Because I missed you, because we don't talk enough for me anymore, because when we spoke you sounded exhausted. You didn’t... you didn’t sound like yourself."

Danny nodded along like he was gathering information instead of having a conversation. Steve couldn't even see the way his heart shattered. He didn't know to look for the eye twitch. Danny waited for Steve to continue before he would respond. It was annoying, but it worked.

"I thought maybe you just needed someone to pick up the slack. I didn’t realise it was the slack I'd dropped in the first place," Steve sighed.

He dropped his head again as the guilt bubbled up in his chest. He still wasn’t sure what he was running away from when he left Hawaii, but he hoped everything else was still there for him to fix. 

"I didn’t realise how much you held..." Danny admitted quietly.

"Guess that’s why I didn’t feel alone on O'ahu..." Steve glanced towards Danny again. "I didn’t mean to steal your kids Danno. I'm sorry I made you feel like I did. I've just missed them."

"You didn't, I don't, I just..." Danny shook his head and shrugged helplessly, "I understand why you left... but I wish you hadn’t. I think that's what the kids picked up on and that's my fault, not yours."

"Grace lived through two divorces, not to mention your girlfriends. I should have been more sensitive to that before breaking up another ohana," Steve insisted. 

"Yeah, maybe you should have, but I could have spoken to Grace. I could have done more to make it easier for her. But that’s not what I do, I just keep my head down and power through, complaining the whole time. I don't want Grace to be like that," Danny said seriously. 

"She won't be. That girl can speak her mind," Steve smirked.

He couldn't help being proud of the way Grace put him in his place both physically and verbally. She showed him up and he loved it. Danny drew his attention back to him when he sighed.

"What else is wrong Danno?" He asked.

"Steve, I want to make my kids happy. Being a dad means being strict and trying to protect them all the time, and that's less fun than it should be. But when you're around I know they're safe... look, I could do with being the fun dad for a change. D'you think you could stand to be bad cop for a while?" Danny asked hopefully. 

Steve pursed his lips and thought back to the wine incident earlier that day. Grace had gone out again now, and if she drank too much more of that communion wine, he was certain he could be the strict one for her. Although he hadn't seen Charlie do anything worth telling him off for, he was still pretty sure he wouldn't fall for the puppydog eyes this time.

"Alright. I can do that," Steve nodded.

Danny knew how much of a pushover Steve was when it came to kids. Nahele had stolen his car and he got him a job. But he appreciated the fact he was willing to try. The two of them chuckled at themselves. The open vulnerability wasn't the most comfortable experience, but they'd been through enough therapy together to know how to get through it. 

Neither were fully willing to give up all their secrets yet though.

What both of them wanted was for the other to say they were going home together. Steve needed Danny to say he wanted him there. That he wasn't intruding. But Danny needed Steve to want to come back. To stay. And neither had anything else to say on the matter. Both of them were silently agreeing to take the entire blame on themselves so the other didn’t have to feel guilty.

All that ended with was both of them feeling equally guilty. 

Steve glanced over at Danny. "Are we good brother?

"Are we good?" Danny repeated, "You're in my house with my family at Christmas and you have to ask if we're good? Of course we're good man."

Steve beamed that sunny grin at Danny. He felt the need to hug it out so he stood up and held his arms out to Danny. Danny made a show of rolling his eyes, but there was a shine in them that betrayed him. Danny adored Steve's hugs. There was something special about the way Steve clung to him. Like was the most important person alive and the only way to keep him safe was to hug him tight. Danny fit into his arms perfectly, and felt Steve nuzzle against his neck. It always lifted his spirits. 

When they finally broke apart, Steve's arm lingered around Danny's neck. He tugged him closer as they sat back on the couch together. Steve he held his bottle out towards him so Danny tapped the neck his bottle against it. That seemed to satisfy Steve enough that he could finally settle into the whole seat and not just the edge. As he melted into the chair, Danny melted against him.

"I'm glad we're good," he said.

"We are good," Danny repeated. Raising his bottle to his lips he added, "I just hate you."

"You love me!" Steve laughed.

"My kids love you," Danny corrected, teasing.

"They do. And I love them like they're my kids," Steve smirked.

"Good, you can pay for the college tuition then," Danny said.

"Maybe I will, I've got savings," Steve warned.

"Good, saves me some money," Danny shrugged. 

As jokingly as they said it, both men knew in their hearts that Steve meant it. If Danny would ever accept it, which he wouldn't, Steve would gladly help pay for Grace's tuition fees.

"Eddie hates you."

"Your dad or the dog?"

"The dog."

"He does not!"

"No, how could he when doesn't even remember you?"

"Stop saying that!" Steve laughed.

Part of him wondered if he was right. Dogs were smart, Eddie more than most, but Steve had been gone a long time. Maybe the dog had forgotten him... he shook his head to dispel those thoughts and moved to brighter ones.

"So Junior really proposed huh? Is there a video of that?" 

"Oh yeah, let me find it for you!"

He shuffled in his seat to get his phone out of his back pocket. Both he and Steve crowded over the gap to watch the video of the proposal on Danny's phone. It was sweet if a little corny and Tani laughed so brightly that even on a recording it warmed their hearts.

"I never knew naval officers could be romantic," Danny said.

"Well there’s a few of us bleeding hearts out there," Steve smirked.

Danny laughed, "You?! Are you kidding?"

"What? I’m very romantic!" Steve argued.

"Your idea of romance is driving legally so you don't die before a date. In fact I've seen you on dates, you’re the least romantic guy in the world," Danny said.

"Oh I am am I?! Alright, tell me, what's _your_ dream date Detective Williams, how romantic are you?" Steve demanded.

"I don't need to be romantic, I’ve got two kids, I'm tired, I'm done- but if I wasn’t, I would be way more romantic than you, just ask Rachel," Danny shrugged.

"Ask your ex wife how romantic you are? Maybe I will, then we can all have a good laugh," Steve snorted.

This argument went on for a while. It came dangerously close to forming a plan to settle it for good. In fact the next word out of Steve’s mouth were going to involve the words "challenge" and "bet". Unfortunately they heard the keys jangle in the lock before they could say it.  
As they opened the door, they could just hear the end of a conversation between Eddie and Clara. 

"See this is why Danny needs to loosen the reigns, if she went to college with tolerance this low-" 

"Shh! Do you want to draw attention to yourself?"

Danny and Steve shared a look. As one they stood up and swaggered into the hallway to challenge them. Eddie and Clara straightened their backs and stood closer together to hide the view out of the front door.

"Hey you two, how have you been?" Eddie smiled politely.

"Not bad. How was church?" Danny asked suspiciously. 

"Just preachy," Vito joked as he edges through the door past Eddie.

Steve sniggered at the joke which made Danny elbow him. "What are you doing, don't laugh at that," Danny said quietly. 

Steve hunched his shoulders and asked, "What? It's funny."

"No it's not, okay? Just shut up and let me deal with this," Danny said.

"No, I'm bad cop remember?" Steve argued.

Danny considered letting Steve attempt to corral a confession out of his family, but Steve couldn't even get his own mother to tell him the truth about things. Instead he hissed at him to be quiet so steve raised a hand in surrender and shut his mouth to allow Danny to take over. It was always best to take a back seat when family was involved. Danny folded his arms and eyed the family.

"So are we all just gonna hang around here or find the warm?" Vito asked.

"Yeah, sure, lead the way Uncle," Danny said.

Eddie and Clara shared another look. Both Danny and Steve caught on quickly. They were hiding something that was happening outside the front door. Given that she hadn't gone sprinting in to find the fire, he was confident it had something to do with Grace. 

"Where’s Eric?" Danny asked, calmly.

"He's, uh, he's gone to get some midnight snacks with Grace," Eddie lied.

"On Christmas Eve?" Danny asked.

"Knowing Eric there’s probably a party," Vito said.

"Who's party?" Danny demanded.

Steve blinked in surprise. He hadn't noticed how sharp Danny could be when interrogating people before. Something in the way he handled it, the protectiveness, it made him tingle.

"Someone's party. Or maybe they just wanted to go for a drive. It can't be easy being young and stuck indoors," Clara said.

Steve rolled his eyes. "Guys, take it from an expert, it's better to pick one story and stick with that one no matter what."

"He’s right y'know, the best lies are the ones you stick to and even they get untangled sooner or later," Danny warned.

The adults shared a look between themselves, silently urging either of the others to take over the conversation. 

"Where are Grace and Eric ma?"

Grace and Eric were outside. Aside from the wine Clara had given her, Grace had been drinking something the choir leader had called "irish eggnog" outside the church. Eddie had given it to her with a warm wink. She passed it on almost immediately after tasting it. Then when she complained about the cold, Vito offered her a swig from his flask. 

"It'll warm you up good!" He chuckled to himself at the time.

It had too. The brandy burned going down and left a metallic aftertaste in her mouth, although that could have been the flash itself. To wash the taste out of her mouth she took a deeper sip of communion wine than any of the others. 

None of the others were aware of what she had been drinking, but it call came to a head when she staggered out of the church and stumbled down the steps. Eric moved to catch her to stop her from falling completely to the ground so blame had fallen, unfairly, onto him. Usually he would have protested the blame, but the rest of them were shifting awkwardly like they were partly to blame, and so were going easy on him. They even agreed to help him sneak Grace past Danny, so he didn't jump to the same conclusion they had.

Of course they agreed to this because each in turn came over to tell him what they had done and apologised for blaming him. None were going to take the blame themselves though, so Eric settled for the smugness of being the only person - other than Grace - who actually knew the full story.

But it also meant that he had to agree to wait out in the cold until they distracted Danny enough for him to sneak Grace down into the basement. He could, however, hear everything that they were saying, which struck him with an idea. Eric balanced Grace on her feet as she swayed, giggling merrily, and opened the back door of his truck. He wasn't certian if he was amused or disappointed by how little she had drunk to make her this tipsy. Either way it was beginning to snow, he was cold, and he wanted to get her safely hidden inside, so they needed a back up plan. Somewhere underneath the mess of the back seat he was sure he had left a - there it was!

Steve folded his arms behind Danny to act as support for him. Firmly, he asked, "No where's open on Christmas eve Clara. Where could they have gone?"

"Eric and Grace went to... um, they are..." Clara began, desperately trying to form a coherent lie. 

"We're right here!" Eric said.

He came striding through the door, into the light of the hallway. Grace was across his shoulders in a piggyback, wearing a tattered yellow card Burger King crown on her head. Danny and Steve shared a look of surprise.

"He-ey Danno!" Grace giggled.

"Hey monkey, what have you two been up to?" Danny asked, concerned.

"Ah an old friend of mine works in a burger joint by the church. We were gonna hit them up but they were closing so he gave Grace this crown-" Eric began.

"Because I’m the prettiest princess," Grace interrupted.

"Err, yeah, sure. Anyway, Grace bet me I couldn’t carry her down the stairs to the basement so I'm gonna win that bet if you'd just excuse me," Eric said.

Grace shouted like Eric was a horse and tried to kick his back legs to move him along, so Eric bounced her further up his back making her laugh. Vito grinned as she did. Clara covered her mouth with her fingers to stifle her smile. As he got closer to Danny, the smell did too. Then it hit Steve. Who was furious. 

"What's that smell?" He demanded.

Eric blinked innocently. "Smell?"

"The smell Eric, the alcohol, you reek of it!" Steve accused.

"I don't think I do," Eric answered innocently. 

It was a perfectly honest answer. After all he hadn't drunk anything since he left. He definitely wasn't going near the irish eggnog - by the time it reached them it was usually more gin or rum than anything else, and it was never any good. Unfortunately the innocent play didn't work as well when Steve knew more than he let on.

Steve's eyes darkened at Clara. "It better not be Grace that smells like that."

"Pfft!" Eric scoffed, playing down the terror in his heart. 

"Woah, woah, Steve, c'mon, this is my family. My family aren't going to put Gracie in danger like that," Danny argued.

"Right!" Eric agreed.

"So why do you smell of alcohol Eric?" Danny asked darkly.

Eric swore inwardly. He should have known this was a trap.

Danny's eyes narrowed on him. "Have you been drinking? Then _driving_ my daughter around?!" 

"I was at church uncle D. I spilt the wine when I drank it. I was trying to show off to a honey in the front pew. That's probably it," Eric said, innocently. 

He kept his face as straight as possible despite the way his heart beat hard enough to batter his ribcage.

"That smell is stronger than just wine," Steve said.

"That’s Vito," Eric said.

Vito paused midway through hanging up his coat to protest the accusation, but his flask was clearly visible in his coat pocket. Neither of them were convinced, but Grace rasied her head over her cousins and did her best to sound sober.

"I had a lovely time at church Danno. Wine is not very nice though. And I saw everyone! They all wantes to know where you were and I told them about Charlie. Apparently everyone's very excited to meet him. Sal sends his love by the way."

Eric glanced at Clara. She could articulate her words well for someone who had trouble walking down steps. Danny glanced back at Steve. Steve furrowed his brow and folded his arms again. He was clearly still suspicious, but he didn't want to tell Danny why.

"If we were staying longer I'd say we could go visit everyone, throw a new year's party or something-"

"No, no, I've gotta go to Mai's new year's party, I promised her I would be there. It's my only chance to see her before she goes back to Ohio for college!"

"That's what I mean monkey. Don't worry, we'll see them all next time."

"Can I win my bet now?" Eric asked.

Grace giggled and kicked him again, "Yah donkey, yah!"

Steve seemed fairly satisfied that she wasn't drunk, just tired. It had been a long day for her after all. She'd woken up early to exercise with him and stayed up late for church. He could write it off completely if it wasn't for the smell. Danny seemed to settle on the same conclusion, but he pinned the smell on Vito. He tended to have more than a few nips of brandy to keep him warm outside that church. Danny stepped back to allow Eric down into the basement.

Eric clung tightly to the banister as he descended into the room, trying not to lose his balance. If he fell and Grace got hurt, Danny would whisk her off to hospital where they would check her blood and Eric would get the blame twice. Then he would be in the hospital beside her.  
He dropped Grace down gently and she staggered again. The room was swaying around her, and she found all of it hilarious. 

"All I want for Christmas this year cus, is for you to learn to cover your crimes better," Eric said seriously. He laid a hand on each of her shoulders and bent down to her eyelevel to say, "Sleep this off ok? and have a shower _before_ Danno wakes up. Got it?"

Grace threw her arms around him and gave him a big hug. Eric rolled his eyes as she did, but he couldn't hide his affections. He liked this whole responsible elder act. Especially since no one would buy it, so it wouldn't ruin his street cred. At least it wouldn't if he had any.

"Thanks for not snitching," she murmured.

Eric smiled. He rubbed the patch on his arm where she had bitten him earlier. The offence at being called a snitch still ached slightly, but it eased as she forgave him. 

"Sleep it off Grace. Sober up before morning for both of our sakes," he said.

He patted her head gently and turned to head back upstairs. Grace sat on the edge of her airbed and looked up at him.

"Merry Christmas Eric," she called.

Eric looked back from the stairway, and laughed warmly. He couldn’t be mad at her. After all he had done at her age it was nice to know someone else break the rules. Especially the family's goodie-goodie's daughter.

Eric gave her a soft smirk. "Merry Christmas ya alcoholic."

He shut the basement door behind him, and retired to the safety of his room, leaving the grown ups to deal with Steve and Danny's further interrogations. The morning would come soon and this seemed like a good bases for the traditional Christmas argument.

They would need to be well rested for that.


	12. Chapter 12

‍‍‍‍‍‍The trouble with family is, for all the good it gives you, there are still moments where you can't help wishing they aren't around. For starters, when you spend Christmas eve out late with most of them at church, and then someone who wasn't there goes hogwild to wake you up at six am, Christmas morning.

Gracie loved Charlie. She really did. But the room was spinning and her head was pounding and he was bouncing with sheer delight at the fact he was awake on Christmas day.

"Charlie, Charlie, hey, Charlie! Please stop," she begged.

Charlie paused when he caught a glimpse of his sisters face. Her cheeks had gone slightly grey and her eyes were darker than usual. There were bits if yellow card caught in her hair from where her crowd had torn apart in the night. He tilted his head and frowned.

"Are you okay? You don't look great," he said.

"I'm fine..." she lied.

"Should I get Danno?"

**_"NO!"_ **

Grace shouted so loudly that it sent a tidal wave through her skull that hurt her stomach too. Charlie reeled back in surprise. Grace dropped her voice to a whisper.

"No, don't... don't get Danno. Get uh, get dressed. I'm going to go get breakfast," she said.

"I'm hungry too, I don't want to get dressed," Charlie whined.

Grace didn't have the energy to argue. She grabbed her phone and dragged herself out of bed. She was ready to google a hangover remedy to try and get on top of this before anyone got up. What she didnt expect was to walk into the kitchen and find her grandmother already clattering about. The basement was soundproof. Up here, it wasn't.

"What's for breakfast Grandma?!" Charlie shouted eagerly.

Clara's focus was on preparing the dinner. That was where her attention would be for the rest of the day. The kitchen was off limits. Fortunately for Charlie, she had also prepared for her family getting snacky.

"Chocolate, it's in the living room. If you start feeling sick, don't be," she said without looking up.

Charlie lit up at the idea of chocolate and darted into the sitting room to find it. Grace climbed onto the stool at the breakfast bar and sighed.

"Grandma-"

Clara snapped to attention at the sound of her voice. She spun around and placed a glass in front of her. The liquid in the glass looked more like sludge than liquid, and it was grey. Just the sight of it twisted her gut.

"Good morning dear. Here, drink this, it'll help," Clara said.

"I don't want to drink anything right now grandma," Grace said.

"I know. That's why you have to," Clara said.

Grace rubbed her head painfully as the light hurt her eyes. It was becoming painfully obvious that this was a hangover. All the TV shows and films that said young people didn't get hangovers were liars. But even though it hurt all over, she did not want to drink the sludge. 

"Uncle Steve is going to kill me," she sighed.

"No, no, he won't kill you. He'll tell Danny and Danny will kill you," Clara said.

Grace groaned loudly. If only she'd stayed at home with Rachel. Rachel was British and Grace was over eighteen. She wasn't about to yell about her underage drinking because she didn't think she was underage. Clara chuckled affectionately as she went back to zesting a lemon. She had done all she could to help. Charlie came clattering back into the room with handfuls of candy wrappers to drop them in the bin.

"You're very happy today. You're excited huh?" Clara said.

"Can we open stockings?!" Charlie beamed.

"Not without Danno," Grace said.

"Can I wake him up?" Charlie asked.

Grace looked up at Clara. Clara licked her lips thoughtfully. She was too busy in here to watch him and Grace wasn't up to it. Danny would understand. Eventually. 

"Be gentle," Clara nodded.

Charlie took the stairs two at a time and he was anything but gentle. Grace dropped her head into her hands as the battering was like hammers in her head.

"Drink it Gracie," Clara said, firmly, "It will help."

Grace groaned again, but her hand made a move for the glass. Charlie went crashing into the spare room, already over excited. He threw himself onto Danny's bed and leapt to his feet. With an springy mattress beneath him, the urge to bounce returned.

"WAKE UP DANNO, IT'S CHRISTMAS DANNO, WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP!"

It was cute when Charlie would just crawl into Danny’s bed to wake him up as a toddler, but he was nearly ten now. He was a lot bigger, a lot heavier, and a lot more energetic. Shouting his head off, he bounced up and down on Danny's bed to try and get him up.

"Alright, alright buddy, I'm up, I’m up," Danny groaned. 

He rolled over in his bed to look over at where Steve was still sleeping. All the noise in the world couldn't wake him up, unless it was a tiny glass breaking in the middle of the night, like any sign of danger. The SEAL could sleep through battles but any sound that was even slightly out of the ordinary and he would bolt awake, ready to fight. Danny had always been jealous of that. A spiteful smirk nudged at his sleepy face.

"Hey, buddy, _I'm_ awake, but look. I think uncle Steve needs a helping hand," Danny said.

It was a small gap between the two beds and Charlie had been hiking with Steve often enough to become far more sure footed than he should have been. He leapt easily between the beds in the same way that Steve jumped between buildings, which was not something that reassured Danny in any way. That bubble of alarm was succinctly squashed as Charlie began to bounce on Steve like a trampoline.

"UNCLE STEVE, UNCLE STEVE, IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP!" 

Steve groaned into his pillow as the child kicked him repeatedly without meaning to. With a head full of fuzz Steve propped himself up in his bed and glanced at Danny. Danny shot him a sleepy smirk that did something to Steve's chest that no one else had ever managed to cause. The annoyance that arose at being woken up died instantly when Danny smiled at him like that. Waking up beside Danny was something he didn't get to do very often. He didn't get to see the sweet sleepiness on his partner often and it was something he'd grown fond of when living together. 

"Look at that, it's morning already," Steve kept the complaining tone hidden beneath a thin layer of fake enthusiasm. 

"IT'S _CHRISTMAS_ MORNING UNCLE STEVE!" Charlie shouted eagerly.

There was nothing fake about his enthusiasm. Steve grew more alert and reached up a hand to try to stop him from bouncing as he got dangerously close to no entry zones. 

"I know, and do you know what the best thing to eat for Christmas breakfast is?" Steve asked.

Charlie dropped to his knees, collapsing onto the bed like one of those string toys that fall apart at the touch of a button. His entire weight came crashing down almost directly on Steve’s thigh. He grunted as he did. Danny winced in sympathy, but chuckled in amusement at the same time.

"What?!" Charlie gasped eagerly.

"It's a family secret, one not even Danno can know, so you have to come here so I can whisper to you," Steve said.

He lowered his voice to draw Charlie in. Bright eyed and unsuspecting, Charlie edged closer. 

"No, closer," Steve whispered.

Charlie got closer, but there was still a bit of a gap between then so Steve whispered one more time. Charlie climbed into Steve's lap at this point, so he was close enough to hear when Steve dropped his voice to hardly a breath.

"It's a big secret. Not even Grace knows it. It's just me, my dad, and you. Can you keep that secret?" Steve asked.

Charlie's bright blue eyes were wide with anticipation now, so he nodded. The tension between them had even managed to sweep Danny’s attention into their game too. He tilted his head so both eyes were able to see him. 

"Okay, so, between you and me... the best thing - and I mean the _very_ best thing, that you can eat. For breakfast. Every Christmas. Is..."

Steve paused dramatically, ready to build the tension. Danny sat up, propping his head on his arm out of curiosity, as Charlie leaned forward eager to know the secret...

"A TASTY LITTLE BOY!" 

Steve shouted as he swept Charlie up into his arms and gummed playfully at his arms and legs. Charlie writhed to get away, squealing with laughter as he did, until Steve let him escape onto the duvet and just tickled him instead.

"You trying to get away huh?! Where’d you think you’re going, you’re my breakfast! The only place you’re going is in my belly!"

Charlie squealed with laughter all over again as he laid belly up, being tickled until he couldn't stop laughing between hiccups. Steve's own laughter tangled with his. The brightness of the joy in their voices rang out across the house. 

"What an excellent alarm clock," Clara chuckled.

Grace lifted her head towards the sound. Thanks to Clara's drink, she could tolerate it now. She instinctively moved to stroke Eddie's head. The dog was jumpy when it came to loud or sudden noises. When he heard them and they alarmed him, he would always go to sit by her feet, ready to defend her if she needed it. When her hand hit thin air, she looked down at it in surprise. She raised her head to mention this to Clara, but her eyes fell on the sight beyond the window, and she gasped.

From the safety of his bed, Danny lazily watched his most trusted partner playing happily with his son on Christmas morning. A soft smile curled on his lips as a pink warmth swilled in his chest. He adored the sound of his son's laughter, and that shining smile of Steve's made his heart flutter. As manic as they were, nothing could ruin the magical joyous memory that they had created for Danny in something as simple as waking up. Not even the blood curdling scream that abruptly ended it.

Danny and Steve both sat bolt upright at the sound. They didn’t have time to react further though, because what instantly followed was Grace screaming excitedly up the stairs. For Charlie. 

"CHARLIE! _SNOW!_ IT'S _SNOWING!_ CHARLIE! CHARLIE COME QUICK! IT'S SNOW!"

Now it was Charlie's turn to snap upwards like a meerkat on high alert. His eyes were like saucers and there were hiccups lurking in his throat.

"Snow?!" He repeated urgently. 

They could hear Grace bouncing excitedly on the bottom step of the stairs. "CHAR _LIE-E-E!"_

As if someone had fired a starting pistol, Charlie scrambled off of Steve's bed and skidded out into the hall to race down to the kitchen door, where Grace was waiting for him. His excited yells joined in harmony with hers as he bounced too.

On the floor of the study, Eric groaned into his pillow. When he had told her to take a shower before Danny woke up, he hadn't expected her to wake the entire house at the same time. It was relief to him that she wasn't hungover. That meant he was off the hook anyway. But it was early and it was cold, and he didn't care if it was Christmas day, he wanted to sleep.

"She doesn't even have the decency to be hungover," Danny scoffed bitterly. "Youth."

Steve was not listening however. He darted out of bed just as quickly as Charlie did, only instead of running down stairs, he leapt over Danny's bed - and Danny in it - and flew to the window. Danny pushed his head back into his pillow in surprise. Usually that wouldn’t be enough to bother Danny, but Steve had practically straddled him to reach the window, and he was in nothing but his underwear. He swallowed to try and regain himself as Steve threw up the blind and gasped. 

A blanket of snow had settled overnight, and there was still a small flurry fluttering through the air now. The crystals in the ice sparkled like glitter in the dawn light. They reflected the gleam back into the air, and the ground was as bright as the clouds. Danny groaned at the cold air radiating from the glass. He wrote off the hot blush on his cheeks as the reaction to the cold.

"Shut that thing would ya? Quick, while he’s gone, let's get some more sleep," He grumbled.

What Danny couldn’t see, was the look of absolutely awe on Steve's face. Growing up in Hawaii he didn’t see a lot of snow. Not outside the mountains, and he hadn't been there for a long time. Wherever he did see it, he turned into a child. It had endangered a few more ops than he liked to admit. Danny's ears grew hotter too as the weight of the SEAL over his legs didn't change. Danny didn't like the thoughts forming in his head at the sensation of it. Or he did, but he didn't was Steve to know just how much he did. The way his pretty blue eyes mirrored the childish excitement of Charlie's was one thing, but he was practically vibrating. The vibrating caught his attention. Especially since Steve was still staring, frozen solid out of the window.

"Steve? Steve are you alright?"

As though Danny's voice had been the permission he needed, Steve leapt away from the bed. He yanked on the first pair of pants he reached, and the nearest shirt. His fly was still undone as he attempted to button his shirt as fast as possibly, while vibrating like a puppy about to go on a walk.

"It's snowing Danno! It's real snow!"

Danny propped himself up on his elbows to watch Steve in puzzled amusement as he fumbled over the buttons on his shirt. He was growing visibly irritated by how long it took him to close them, so he huffed and tossed it aside. The next one he grabbed, he just pulled over his head. He didn't even care that it was inside out.

"And?" He asked.

Steve's eyes latched onto his and his jaw loosened. His fingers paused on the button on his fly, as though Danny had asked something shockingly obvious. 

"It's _snow_ Danny," Steve repeated, pointedly. 

"Yeah? Frozen water that comes from the sky, I'm familiar. So what?" Danny nodded.

Steve rolled his eyes and shook his head. If Danny didn’t get it, Steve couldn't explain. He hopped as he finally finished getting ready and hit the end of Danny's bedpost eagerly.

"C'mon, let's go! The snow's waiting! Come on!"

Danny's hand fell down into the duvet and blinked at Steve. "Are you serious?"

Steve pouted. "It's for fun Danny. Snow days are for playing, so let's go! I don't wanna have fun without you."

Danny glared at Steve. Already the sound of chaos was building down in the kitchen. He was very aware of Clara's rules that being in the kitchen on Christmas meant you had to help cook. It wouldn't be long before she joined the shouting and they were all ushered into the snow anyway. Danny didn't really want to miss out on it. Danny told himself that it was the kids that made up his mind, not the way Steve was pouting at him. He was lying.

"Fine. You go, I'll catch up," Danny yawned.

Steve grinned at Danny with that same idiot grin he got whenever he managed to manipulate Danny into surfing with him. 

"Meet you down there!"

With that, Steve went running out of the bedroom. Really running. Danny could hear his footsteps hurrying down the staircase like Charlie's had moments earlier. He left Danny with two options here.

Firstly, he could pretend none of this happened and stay in the warmth of his bed, and go back to sleep like he initially planned, or, he could get up and brave the cold to watch the renowned Naval Lieutenant Commander Steven McGarrett get over excited about snow.

‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍By the time Danny reached the kitchen he had just missed the chaos and Clara was regaining her breath.

She had lapped the breakfast bar four times while trying to catch Steve and wrestle his coat on. All the while he had been yanking his socks on, and then he stuffed his feet in his boots, and stolen a raw sprout. Clara had had to tackle him down to wrestle his coat onto him and zip him into it. She'd then had to yank him back with a scarf like a lasso to force him to tie his laces. While he was sitting down to do so, Clara forced a woollen hat over his ears. It masked his eyes as she did and when he moved to pull it into position she noticed the stolen sprout. Just like she would to anyone else in her family, she hit him with a wooden spoon.

"Hey!" He yelped.

"No grazing! Snacks are in the sitting room!" She scolded.

It was like chasing a toddler. While this had all been going on, Grace had yanked on her own jacket and shoes, and tied up Charlie's laces while he pulled on his coat. Teamwork made them go faster, but so did Charlie's excitement. He was so eager to get outside that he had stuffed his jacket on backwards, and now he had a hood underneath his chin. The moment Clara let him go, Steve shot over like an uncoiling spring and darted out the door. Grace and Charlie raced after him.

Clara took a deep breath as the door slammed shut behind them. It wouldn't be long before Steve realised Grace was hung over. She couldn't hide it for long. Then Clara would be in trouble too.

They had to wade through the powdery snow to get out into the garden. Steve beamed as his foot sank in up to his shin. The shock of the cold didn't affect him until there was snow. It was a childish joy, but an undeniable one. Until Charlie slipped on some ice. Then the responsibility came back. Steve helped him back to his feet and held his hand to keep him upright. Grace forged ahead of them. She had been so eager to get out here into the snow and now she was regretting it. She was very aware of the snow melting in her hair. She couldn't decide if she liked it or not, but she was very aware of it.

"Hey Steveo?" Charlie asked as they wandered into the garden.

"Yeah mini D?" Steve asked.

"What's a hangover?" Charlie asked innocently.

Steve paused mid step as he readjusted to the conversation. He dug through his mind to try and remember what Danny had told Grace when she asked.

"It's, uh, it's like a really, really grown up headache. Why?" He asked.

"Grandma said Grace needed to drink her medicine to get rid of her hangover," Charlie shrugged.

Steve's eyes narrowed on the back of Grace's head.

"Oh she did huh? Hey buddy, do you wanna build a snowman while I talk to Gracie for a minute?"

Charlie nodded obediently. He formed a ball with the snow and set off from there. The quiet crunch of the fresh footsteps amused Steve. He used the powdery snow to mute his footsteps. Grace appreciated the way that the snow muted the world. Now it was just the aching throb that ebbed and flowed through her head like the tide. He crept up to Grace as she took a few deep breaths to ease the pain.

Steve edged closer and bent down towards her ear to say, "boo!"

Grace yelped in pain and alarm and lashed out, punching Steve in the chest as she did. Steve grunted at the hit.

"Ow! Gracie! I need body armour around you!" He complained, laughing.

"Sorry, I just..." She trailed off.

Steve tilted his head at her. Even against the snow she looked pale. He almost felt bad for her. Almost.

"You okay kiddo?" He asked calmly.

She tried to shrug but it made her head ache more. "Y-yeah. I'm just a bit... sick..."

Steve put on the most convincing concerned face he could muster. "If you're sick you really shouldn't be out here in the snow," He warned.

Grace had drunk the entire grey slush that her grandmother had given her, pinning her nose shut as she did. The horrible thing had eased her symptoms enough for her to notice the snow and become incredibly over excited by it. It had really eased the nausea in her stomach, but her head still throbbed. That she blamed on herself for screaming so loudly at the weather. If she still got in trouble for it she would still throw up. She could feel it churning in her stomach when Steve eyed her like that. 

"I would like to stay in the snow. It helps prevent fever," she said, quietly.

Steve reached out and gently laid a hand on her forehead. She really was hot to the touch. (Of course he had forgotten that his fingers were freezing in the cold) The concern in that moment was genuine.

"You're burning up sweet- uh, honey. Maybe we should get you back to bed. Danny will understand if you can't spend Christmas with us."

Grace felt a rush of alarm through her chest. Christmas time was family time. Their time. It was one of her favourite holidays because it was the one he always fought for every year, even when it was just the two of them. She didn't want to lose that. But it was too early for the big fight. She wasn't ready for it.

"Uh, Steve, yknow, I don't think it's that bad-" she began.

"Oh no? Is it just from not sleeping? You did get in really late," he offered.

She blinked. Her mind was still buffering and she couldn't come up with her own excuse, so she took the out.

"Yeah... yeah, it's probably just that..."

"Of course you could be sick. And if you're sick you probably shouldn't go to that party on new years so they don't get sick and take the disease back to college with them. You could cause a pandemic!" Steve said.

He gave a breezy laugh as he said it, to make her think he might be kidding. The alarm at the idea of missing one last goodbye shot through her heart as she forced a smile back.

"Well I'm not really sure-"

Steve cut her off to add, "That would ease my mind too, because then you wouldn't be surrounded by alcohol and there wouldn't be any risk, right?"

"Ri-i-ight..."

She squinted at him. He knew. He had to know.

"Because I know you wouldn't do anything to disappoint me. Especially because you know that if you were drinking underage in a house with not one, but two officers of the law-"

Okay, yeah, he definitely knew. Grace whined loudly to interrupt him, insisting, "It wasn't my fault Steveo! I didn't know there was alcohol in the eggnog - not like that, I mean, and I really didn't think Vito was drinking alcohol, I thought he had hot chocolate! How was I supposed to know it wasn't?!"

Steve folded his arms across his chest, "You were drinking it from a flask Grace. You know better than that."

"I know, I know," she groaned softly, "but I was with adults I didnt think, and I'm so sorry! _Please_ don't tell Danno!"

"Don't tell Danno?! Youre lucky I don't call the _police_ Grace! You're a child! A minor! If someone had seen you and reported you, Danno would be in huge trouble! He's a cop Gracie, he can't be seen to bend the rules for you - not here! And your mom would definitely find out. She could use it against him in court to claim full custody of Charlie! Did you even think about that?!"

Grace was horrified to think that she hadn't. She had spent so long in court with her parents arguing over her that now it was over she had forgotten that they still Charlie to think about. To fight over. The guilt of that hit home like a baseball bat to the gut.

"If you're drinking now infront of us, how am I supposed to believe that you won't be drinking when you start college and are unsupervised?" Steve demanded.

That was the farthest thing from her mind now. "I won't, I won't-"

"You said that last time. Then you started drinking again, _the same day!_ You're not in a position to start defending yourself," Steve argued.

She bowed her aching head as the tears stung at her eyes. "I know..."

Steve softened slightly, but he wasn't done. "Grace, I have seen what alcohol leads to. I have seen it a thousand times. Almost every murder we've been to has included alcohol. Drinks get spiked. It slows your reaction times. People try and drive, they crash. You crash. Or you get addicted and ruin your life. We have seen it tear apart lives and homes and families. Do you understand me Grace?" He implored.

She nodded, miserably. He laid a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently.

"You're still growing up. Your brain is still developing. I love you Grace and I cannot stand to watch you risk your beautiful mind on something as stupid as this," he insisted.

Grace shifted awkwardly in the snow and sniffed hard to try and stop snort rolling down her face. Steve's shoulders sagged to hear it. He sighed.

"You feel that headache you got right now? The way your throat feels like sandpaper? The way you want to throw up? The mouth sweats? Does it hurt?"

Grace gulped again and nodded. Her throat did feel like sand, and to nod made something in her head rattled. Part of her was worried it was her actual brain. The snow melting in her hair was cooling her off though, so the headache was slowly melting with it.

"That's your punishment okay? That's always your punishment. Every hangover you ever get for the rest of your life you're going to think of me and wonder if I'd be disappointed," Steve said seriously. It seemed fitting to him to make this her punishment. He was fairly confident that the guilt of his disappointment would make any future hangover worse, which would hopefully help to put her off drinking altogether. "Go and take an aspirin and wash it down with a lot of water. I'm not going to tell Danny this time, but three strikes - hey, look at me. Three strikes is it. Got it?"

Grace nodded. She still didn't raise her head as she trudged back towards the house. She was certian that he could have been much worse. Steve could yell. She had heard him yell. The fact he hadn't meant she had been spared from the worst headache. But he was also someone she didn't like to disappoint. Steve watched her go, and sighed again. In the cold air, his breath became a glossy cloud of steam.

"Uncle Steve! Look at my snowman!" Charlie cried in delight.

Steve turned his head, and beamed at the lump of snow Charlie had carved into a snowman-ish shape.

"That's awesome buddy! Let's find some stones for his eyes," he grinned.

Clara had already been preparing the stove for a while and the kitchen was warm. A welcoming scent of Christmas filled the entire downstairs, wafting from the kitchen and making the whole place feel even more cosy. Unfortunately it also steamed up the windows, so Danny's plan of staying in the warm with a mug of hot chocolate and watching them play from the kitchen was cancelled.

"Morning," Danny smiled lazily.

"Good morn- _don't touch that_!"

Clara smacked Danny's hand as he reached towards a bowl of chopped carrot waiting to start cooking. Danny snatched his hand back with a grumble.

"You know the rules Daniel, no grazing in the kitchen before dinner! If you’re hungry, the snacks are in the sitting room," she warned. 

"But the kids are in the snow out there Ma!" Danny whined, gesturing to the misted window.

"Then _n_ _o grazing!"_ She warned again.

Danny huffed, but he tucked his hands under his arms to stop himself from even being tempted. Christmas dinner was serious here. It was the one meal Eddie always helped cook, and they would still be eating leftovers in two days minimum. Grazing was not allowed, and getting under their feet got you yelled at. If you were in the kitchen you were helping or you were leaving. Clara placed a saucepan, a knife, and a bag of potatoes in front of Danny. He automatically started peeling them for her.

"Has it been snowing for long ma?" He asked.

"All night. It started just after we got home," Eddie said.

"I didn’t notice," Danny said.

"You were warm by the fire," Eddie reminded him.

He didn't notice Eddie wandering in either. Eddie had found a pair of cigars that Vito had left on the mantelpiece last night. They were another Christmas tradition. Eddie and Vito would smoke them together, usually after the traditional Christmas argument. He liked the way it felt in his hand though, so he was showing it off.  
Eddie gestured to the back of the garden where Charlie was scouring the bushes for rocks and Steve was making snow angels. The snow only came to his shins, but they were making rabbit runs all over it. 

"That Steve is a big kid with a big heart isn’t he?" Eddie said, warmly. 

Danny ignored the odd flicker in his chest. It always happened when someone complemented Steve around him. He was used to it by now. He assumed it was for the same reason he felt proud when someone complimented his kids. 

"Not really, he’s just a real big goof," Danny said.

He fought off the affectionate smile, but not fast enough for his mother not to notice. Eddie stepped over and laid a hand on Danny's back, seriously. 

"Son, sometimes you need someone to be a goof with. They make important moments. It's those times you remember when things get tough."

Danny didn’t really understand why his father was saying this like it was a very profound announcement, but it seemed important to him, so he strengthened his jaw and nodded solemnly. This seemed to satisfy Eddie, who smiled and patted his back proudly. A rush of icy air wound past them as Grace opened the back door and stepped back into the warmth.

She tugged on Clara's sleeve like a toddler looking for attention, and muttered, "Grandma can I have an aspirin?"

Danny swallowed back a remark on how drinking usually gave you a headache afterwards. He wasn't bad cop today, no matter how natural it felt. Instead he tilted his head and tried to look concerned.

"You okay monkey?"

Grace glanced at him, and then quickly looked away. There was a flash of guilt in her eyes as she did.  
"I've just got a headache. Steve says its because i haven't slept enough," she said.

Danny glanced out of the door to where Steve and Charlie were both now sitting in their snow angels and forming snowballs. He smiled to himself. Steve was good at bad cop. He was so busy thinking about this that he missed the flash of guilt in the look his parents shared. Eddie stood up to find the pills for Grace. He pressed them into her palm and gave her a glass of water to wash it down with.

"Try going to bed earlier next time sweetheart," he winked.

Grace swallowed down the pill as quickly as she could. She set the half empty glass down and hurried back towards the door. Doing so sent a rush through her head, so she stopped, and went back to finish the glass. After she did, she actually did feel better. She went dashing back into the snow, almost just as eagerly as she had when she first noticed the snow.

Danny rose from his seat and followed her to the back door. Eddie took over the potato peeling so he could stay in the kitchen. Danny leaned in the doorway, letting the cold air sweep through the room as he watched them play at the end of the garden.

They had evolved to snowball fighting now, as all snow days eventually do. Each one was breathless as they ploughed through the cold, and they all knew it. Puffs of steam glistened in the air above them as they panted. Their noses and cheeks were scarlet. They looked like little steam toys painted in the olden days. Each smile seemed to reflect their utter joy as much as their constant laughter. It filled the air between the snowflakes. Danny’s mind wandered to steam powered robots without even noticing it go. He was smacked right back into the moment when an ice cold ball of powdery snow exploded against his chest, making him yelp.

"Hey! I’m not even dressed!" He cried.

They were already hooting with laughter as Steve pointed accusingly at Charlie. 

"It was him," he called.

Charlie choked in offence, gritted his teeth, and threw his own snowball at Steve. Steve staggered back at the collision, beaming as he did.

"Oh it was him was it? You’re gonna pin your crimes on a kid?" Danny called, biting back a laugh. 

"Fine, I did it!" Steve confessed. 

He grinned at Grace, with his tongue behind his top teeth, like he hadn’t finished talking yet. She grinned back, expectantly. 

"But only because you’re too chicken to get me back!"

Charlie and Grace whooped with joy at the accusation. Danny stood up straight. His eyes widened, his jaw gaping, he felt the challenge rise in his bloodstream.

"Excu- What did, what- _What?!"_

The laugh Steve bit back still escaped in his breath, "I know you’re talking, but all we hear is-" 

Steve began to cluck like a chicken. He slowly raised his hands up to his armpits like a chicken, and pecking the air as he did. Laughing, Charlie and Grace joined in. Danny pointed a warning at them from the doorway.

"I'm a chicken? Oh _I'm_ a chicken?! I'll show you!"

Danny darted to get his jacket and stuffed his feet into shoes before he ran out into the snow, just as woefully underdressed as the rest of them outside. They were ready for him. All three of them had a dozen pre prepared snowballs to throw and they didn't hold back. Danny ran down the length of the garden, dodging the flying snow as well as he could as he went. As soon as he could reach someone to use as a sheild, he did.

The aspirin had taken firm hold and eased most of her symptoms by now. Youth was on her side with that. But now Grace could yell, so she did. She screamed with laughter as Danny yanked her by the waist to hold her infront of him, like a perp with a hostage. She was giggling in a way she hadn’t since becoming a teenager. Had Danny had time to appreciate it, it would have lifted his spirits higher than they had been in years. But he was under attack, so instead he used her as a defence to buy time to make his own snow balls, while Steve yelled a promise that he would rescue Grace.

"Don't worry Gracie, he'll never get away with it!" Steve beamed.

"Help me make snowballs and I'll let you go," Danny said.

"We don't negotiate with criminals!" Grace cried, beaming.

"You tell him Gracie!" Steve cheered.

"Fine, I'll just- Ah! _Charlie!_ That went down my neck!" Danny laughed.

Regardless of human sheilds, Charlie pummeled Danny with snowballs and giggled to the point of hiccups. As Steve flanked Danny's right side he waved at Charlie to take the left. Under fire from all angles, Danny was forced to release his hostage who immediately turned back on him. Danny didn’t let them hold him down though. No, he did what any smart man would do, and he teamed up with Charlie. Charlie didn’t care who or what he hit as long as it landed. He had learned that from Kamekona's baseball coaching. In turn Kamekona had learned to duck when Charlie had the ball. 

The game rapidly moved from Charlie and Danny against Steve and Grace, to Steve and Danny against everyone else, including each other, to everyone against Steve. He dove for cover behind the snowman Charlie had built earlier in the day. He got himself pinned down in his make shift bunker, and this time even Danny wasn't coming to save him. Before he knew it Grace and Charlie had breached the barrier and tackled him to the floor. Danny helped them pin him down so they could tickle him enough to giggle his way into hiccuping.

All four of them had grins so wide it ached behind their ears, and they still couldn't stop smiling.

From inside the house his parents chuckled to themselves affectionately at how easily Danny allowed himself to be goaded. It had been a long time since Danny last came to Christmas here, and although that wasn’t a day that was remembered with too much fondness, it had snowed then too. And the snowball fight back then consisted of Sophia, Eric, Grace, Danny and Matthew. Back then it was Matthew pinned to the floor.

Small moments, forgotten memories, they mattered more than the rest.

Eddie watched in amusement as he held Vito's cigar between his teeth. Part of him wondered if this was what would lead to the big fight of the day. Part of him always wondered. It was a point of interest for everyone in the house. Fights usually were.  
Keen to see what he was laughing at, Clara leaned over the side to wipe the window down and make them visible again.

"They seem to be having fun," she smiled. 

It was always nice to see her family enjoying themselves, but Danny hadn't looked this happy since his wedding day. That pleased Clara most of all.

"Daniel's finally dropped that chip from his shoulder," Eddie nodded approvingly. 

"He gets that from you y'know," Clara warned. 

"I'm sure you're right. I let some of the best years of my life go to waste because I couldn’t let go of the past. I hope he doesn't make the same mistakes," Eddie said.

He wandered away from the door, shutting it behind him to trap out the cold.

"Give him time. I'm not sure he even knows he’s in love," Clara assured him.

"That’s what I mean dear. I didn’t know I was in love until we had been friends for, oh, how long?" Eddie asked.

"Sixteen years," Clara reminded him. She chuckled to herself as she peeled the potatoes. "Look on the bright side. If he's anything like you, there’s only six more to go before he sees what’s right under his nose."

"Boy I hope I'm still around the see it," Eddie smiled.

Clara moved away from the saucepans so she could plant an affectionate kiss on her husbands head. There was a special kind of warmth tingling in the air this year. Something beyond the cooking. There was something peaceful about it. Homely. It just felt special. It was even more special when Eric walked in, since he'd remembered to put on clothes this time. Sure they were Eddie's old striped pyjama bottoms which he had to keep yanking back up because they kept slipping, and a baggy plain grey shirt with multiple stains, but clothes were clothes, which they appreciated. 

"What're you two talking about?" He asked. 

Neither were really paying attention to him. Their focus was outside.

"Your uncle Danny and his partner Steve," Clara said.

"Ah, a subject I know well. What’s going on?" Eric asked, mid yawn.

Clara gestured to the window. Eric pushed himself up against the breakfast bar and a little extra lift and craned his neck to see his uncles playing in the snow. 

"They look happy right now, but believe me, it'll end in tears. And I dont mean Charlie or Grace," He said as he sat back down.

It was edging that way already. Steve was competitive and Danny was stubborn and they were both too proud to let go. It was what led to them being partners in the first place. It was only a matter of time before the fun slipped away and the children came inside to avoid the fight.

Then, Danny slipped.

He hit a patch of black ice and lost his footing, sending him crashing straight into the ground. The others raced over to them to make sure he was alright. From the house they couldn’t hear the conversation, but they could see everything. The surge of panic that made Steve fell to his knees instantly like Danny had been shot and needed urgent care. The way he pawed at Danny as he sat up like he couldn’t bare to keep his hands to himself. The way that even as Danny sat up, his hood falling back to expose his mussed up blonde hair as he did, totally fine. His hand instinctively moved to Steve's. His fingers brushed against Steve's, quietly entwining so effortlessly that neither noticed. Even when they accepted he was fine and moved on to rebuild Charlie's snowman. Steve stayed by Danny to help him back to his feet. Still their hands lingered until the brittle moment they could no longer use their excuses.

Clara heaved a tender sigh. "D'you think they know they’re in love?"

"C’mon grandma, they're Detectives! Both of them have had years of experience in decoding people and figuring out secrets. One time Steve figured out an old cold case in his sleep. Jerry wrote about it in his book! They’re easily the best detectives on the island. Of course they don't know they’re in love!" Eric snorted. While Clara wasn’t looking, he swiped some of the cranberries soaking in a bowl. "They’re so busy looking at everyone else’s secrets they can’t see what's directly under their nose."

"Well how long has it gone on like this?" Clara asked.

She had meant it rhetorically really. Love sneaks into crevices you don't even know you have, and plants weeds who’s roots take hold before you ever notice the flower growing. At least that’s what her yoga instructor said. But if it was true no one would ever be able to tell when or where they both fell. She wasn’t expecting Eric to have an answer.

"About ten years."

Eddie and Clara both whipped around to look at him, silently ordering him to explain where the hell he'd pulled that conclusion from.

"From what Detective Kaulkoa told me, they've been like this since pretty much the moment Steve shot the man who killed his father and threw him off a Chinese shipping crate into the ocean," Eric explained.

Eddie and Clara shared a look. Eddie had seen a lot in his long and lustrous career as a firefighter, but everything he heard about Danny's career made him think they should swap stories more.

"So a while then?" He said.

"We've got a pot going. One dollar per date you pick," Eric nodded.

"That's not much," Clara warned.

"Well there's like twenty of us involved and the pot's been going for ten years. If they figure it out by March 23rd next year, I win the jackpot."

"If they never do?" Eddie asked.

"If they never do then the pot goes to whoever picked the date closest to the day the first one of them dies," Eric explained.

"I meant that's not much time, dear," Clara explained, trying not to roll her eyes. "Ten years might seem like a lot but it just flies past. Those boys, they'll see soon."

Eddie nodded solemnly but Eric wasn't convinced. When they finally came in, the four of them were flushed. They had cheeks as pink as Christmas elves, rosy noses, and blue lips. Somewhere in the snowball fight Charlie had put his coat on properly so he could manoeuvre better, so as he walked though the door, he dropped it to the floor. 

"Hey, does that belong there?!" Steve asked sternly.

Danny had been about to say the same thing and pursed his lips now he didn't have to. Charlie groaned and grumpily grabbed the coat off of the floor, he was glad he hadn't. Steve could be a parent whenever he wanted if he was going to be the bad cop. 

"Shoes too Charlie, c'mon, we talked about this outside, you can't trapse snow through the house."

Charlie groaned again, but stomped to dislodge the snow off his boots like he had been told to outside. He then pulled them off without undoing his laces. He ran to hang up his coat, and Grace quickly followed. Any signs of a hangover were gone by now, which made everyone else in the room incredibly relieved. Danny made a show of shivering for his parents, despite the beads of sweat pearling on his brow from rushing around so much. 

"It's cold out!" He complained. 

"Is it now?" Eddie said, drily, "think it's cold enough to snow?"

"It is brisk!" Steve laughed and he peeled off the scarf Clara had wrapped him in.

All of their woollen accessories were sodden now. The snow melted almost instantly as they entered the warmth. Clara forced them to leave their boots by the door and hurried them through and out of her kitchen. 

"If you’re not helping, you’re not in the kitchen, go on, mush!" She ushered. 

"Yeah, mush!" Eric echoed, grinning.

"That includes you mister. And _stop grazing!"_ Clara scolded him.

She slapped his hand as he reached for another handful of cranberries. Eric dropped them and raised his palms in surrender. 

"When are we doing presents anyway?!" Grace called.

"PRESENTS!" Charlie gasped. 

It seemed that he had regained whatever energy they had burned in this mornings exercise already. Danny was slower to regain his. He hadn’t even made it out of the kitchen before Charlie came running back in with a full stocking.

"Wow, looks like Santa brought you a lot this yeah, huh?" Danny said.

Charlie heaved it up to his chest and shoved it against Danny's stomach. "This is yours!"

He let go before Danny had a grip on it so Danny had to duck to catch it as it fell. Then Charlie spun on his heels and darted back into the sitting room so Danny couldn't even question him. His jaw hung open as he looked down at the stocking. It was definitely his, his name was on it and everything, but he hadn’t put anything in his stocking this year.

"Is this something to do with you?" Danny asked Steve.

Steve gave him a perfectly innocent look and shook his head. Danny wasn’t convinced. When he looked inside there were a bunch of small presents wrapped in multiple different papers. They couldn't all be from the same person unless they had reams of paper at their disposal. 

"I'm only going to say this once more," Clara warned as she slammed a knife against a chopping board, "if you ain't helping, GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!" 

Steve was used to harsher orders from scarier men, but something about the way a mother yelled struck fear into his heart. Danny didn’t notice the way Steve clung to the sleeve of his shirt as they left, like a worried toddler, because, like an excitable toddler, he was distracted by presents. 

"Stockings first, then the presents under the tree _after_ dinner," Eddie decreed.

"He says that every year, just ignore it," Vito winked at Charlie, making him giggle. 

He had set aside the bourbon now and taken up an apron to match his chefs hat. The hat was to let him feel like he had more control than he did. He sat in his arm chair, peeling sprouts, looking very important while Clara hurried between the sitting room and the kitchen and did the actual cooking.

Steve perched himself on the arm of the couch to watch the kids empty out their stockings. Charlie walked across the carpet on his knees to throw Steve's stocking at him. Steve grinned at him. 

"I have some too? Isn’t that nice of Santa?" He said.

He glanced towards Danny and gave him a knowing smile. Danny's grin tilted slightly. His brow furrowed and he moved to sit on the couch beside Steve.

"When did you do all this?" He asked quietly.

Steve's smile fell. "Me? I thought this was you."

"I just flew in from Hawaii, where would I have fit all these presents without someone noticing?"

"It wasn’t me, I swear."

"I guess you two both made it onto Santa's nice list this year," Grace grinned. 

Both of them shared a look. Sure, since they had stepped away from Five-O they had been involved in far fewer high violence incidents, but they were both still fairly certain that shooting people got you on the naughty list no matter the circumstances. And if they died, that was naughty list for life. That only seemed fair. But it didn't explain who had filled their stockings for them.  
Charlie grabbed his by the toe and sent them all clattering to the floor at once. He tore into the first one that came to hand, utterly shredding the paper as he did.

"It's a keyring!" Charlie beamed. 

He held up the navy blue fish shaped keyring and pointed it at Danny. He gasped again when he squeezed it and the laser blasted out of it's mouth. A laser pointer keyring might not have been the biggest Christmas present ever, but Charlie was delighted with it.

"Look, I'm a sniper!" Charlie declared.

He pointed the red dot at Vito's forehead and pretended to shoot him. Steve wrinkled his nose as he watched. He felt Danny's eyes bearing down on him.

"Oh good, he's a sniper," Danny said, drily.

"Okay, that settles it. I'm not buying him a BB gun for his birthday," Steve declared.

"A BB- is it not enough you taught my beautifyl, innocent daughter to throw knives-"

"Throwing knives is a life skill Danny!"

"Only if you're a circus clown!"

"It's a valuable skill! And it's not like i brought her a knife!"

"A kni- hey, no, listen to me, do not - repeat _not_ \- buy my daughter a knife! Do you understand me?!"

"Hey, Gracie, hold my knife while i fetch the walnuts would ya?"

The argument stopped dead as both men stared at Eddie, afronted. Grace giggled as he handed her the knife he had been using to skin various vegetables. They began to berate him but their arguments tangled with each other until they ending up bickering over who was bad cop today. Eddie gave Grace a wink and walked out unscaved.

Grace picked her gifts out of the stocking a lot more carefully than Charlie did. She tore at the tape to open it so that the present would slide out without being damaged, although she knew this one - and presumably the four in matching papers - had been wrapped by Steve. There was tape all over the back side opposite where her name was written in sharpie. When Steve was left unsupervised, he couldn't do simple things like trust that one piece of tape was enough to hold the paper down.   
Inside this particular present was a pair of earrings. They were hand blown glass made to look like pale pink seashells. From the logo on the box, she guessed they were Venetian.

Grace gasped at the sight of them. "Oh these are so pretty!"

Steve smiled brightly. He hadn't been certain whether or not she would like them. Grace wasn't really the girliest girl around, but neither were most of the woman Steve knew. All he knew for sure was that he thought the earrings were pretty and they reminded him of Grace. He was deeply relieved that she liked them. She glanced over at Charlie. If any part of him still thought Santa was responsible for this, she didn't want to ruin it. So Grace looked up at Steve and mouthed "Mahalo" and Steve winked back. Danny elbowed him accusingly.

"So it was you?" 

"No - okay, look, I've been away for a while. I saw some things - some small things, that made me think of people. So I brought them. And since it's Christmas, it's cost me a lot of postage. But these?" He lifted his stocking pointedly, "I swear, these were not me. Not all of them anyway!"

"Then who?!" Danny demanded.

Eric took this moment to slid into the seat beside them as nonchalantly as possible and say, "that would be me."

Both men shared a look, silently settled on agreeing that he was lying, and gave him a confused and accusery scowl.

"What? No, you dont have any money, how could it be you?" Danny said.

"Well it wasn’t _e_ _ntirely_ me," Eric said.

"I helped," Vito said.

Steve frowned deeper, which made Vito snort. Steve couldn’t understand why he would help, especially when he didn’t even like him. That confusion, that’s why Vito did it. In good business, you always have to have the upper hand, and Vito fancied himself a businessman.

"I thought you didn't think I was here for Christmas. That you thought I was just dropping off presents and jetting off, that's what you said right?" Steve accused.

Eric scoffed, "If Grandma knew, all of us knew."

"What are you talking about, what did you do?" Danny asked.

"Well, I mentioned casually to a few people that, maybe since you two were coming all this way for Christmas, maybe you wouldn’t have put much thought into the stockings," Vito shrugged. 

"You didn't know I was coming. I didn't know until a few days ago!" Steve argued. 

"Steve you and Danny are kind of a package deal. I don't know why you think you're so unpredictable," Eric explained plainly.

"But I already had the stockings planned!" Danny said.

"I saw you with the oranges uncle D. That would have been rough," Eric said, wrinkling his nose as he did.

"Oranges are tradition," Danny muttered defensively. 

"No one cares about traditions Danny! They want gifts! The only acceptable orange on Christmas day is a chocolate one!" Vito argued.

It was useless to argue, even though Danny really wanted to. Steve still couldn't wrap his head around Vito doing something nice _and_ legal. 

"I sent a little text down a chat mentioning to some people that you were coming back to Jersey for Christmas, and some people sent their regards is all. And some regards from Hawaii," Vito shrugged. 

"In all fairness, Kamekona took the Hawaii branch. He and Jerry sent these over the day before you arrived," Eric said.

Steve and Danny were still looking confused and slightly suspicious. There was excitement in their eyes though. A kind of joy that only came from tearing apart wrapping paper to uncover it's secrets.

"Go on, get opening!" Vito urged.

With his permission, Danny ripped into one of the presents and tossed the paper carelessly aside to see what it was hiding. Steve craned his necktio try and see what was hidden by the paper. Danny snorted when he pulled back the tissue to see a packet of blister plasters. Along with it was a handwritten note that said _boys on the beat gotta take care of the feet!_

"What’s that?" Steve frowned.

Danny couldn’t hide his sunny smile as he looked back up at Steve. "Inside joke from my Academy days. Wow... I hadn’t thought about that in years!"

As he turned the box over in his hand, he bit his lip. Even that couldn't hold back the nostalgic smile forming. He looked so cute that Steve's attention turned away from the kids on the floor tearing apart their stockings, to watch Danny instead. Most of the gifts could have easily been passed off as last minute thoughts - a pen, a statue of liberty magnet, even a strip of photos from some photo booth on Coney Island - yet each one made Danny laugh to himself. All of them were somehow linked back to a life Steve knew almost nothing about. They made Danny smile in that way that did funny things to Steve's chest. He couldn't look away and he couldn’t help but pry.

Steve picked up the photo booth photos that Danny had set to one side. Danny was about twenty years younger, bright - but glassy - eyed, grinning, it even looked like he had dimples. He didn’t look anything like the exhausted curmudgeon Steve knew and loved. He whistled low at the photo booth photos. 

"Who’s this? Is this you?!" 

Danny's cheeks flushed a little as Steve flashed that cocky grin at him. He made a grab for the pictures but Steve kept them out of reach. 

"Yes. Yes, that’s me, laugh it up. Can I have that back now?" Danny asked sharply.

Steve held them out at arms length away from his partner, "I'm still looking at it!"

Danny huffed at his childish partner, but his heart quickened in his chest. In the photos he had just graduated from the police academy. It was, in fact, the night he graduated that these photos were taken. It was not a night that he had spoken to anyone about since a certain person in his force left, and it was not a night he had forgotten in a hurry. Even as hazy as it was after all this time, he didn’t need photos to remember what happened in that booth.

He was more than a little drunk. His eyes were bloodshot, and his hair started out nicely slicked back underneath his brand new police hat. It was definitely new because it still had some shine to it. As the hat got passed around the bar and back throughout the night, his hair got messier. His leather jacket was looking tough though. Tough and old. It was his favourite. And someone else's favourite too.

In the first picture Danny was alone. He pulled a sneer at the camera trying to look tough. In another he was showing off his muscles. Those typically youthful poses warmed Steve's heart. By the third, another graduate entered the booth to goad him. His face was obscured by his pale blue shirt as he flashed the camera while. Danny threw his head back, cackling so hard Steve could practically hear it now. In the next photo the unknown man had settled into Danny's lap, and Danny's hand was clearly visible on his thigh. His tongue also visible on his lips as he stared into the other mans eyes. Steve's face fell. He had seen that look on Danny's face before.

Steve's heart stopped at the last photo in the set. Danny was being straddled by the other man, and his fingers were clawing at his hair in a way that proved Danny did not mind. The surprise was clear over Steve's entire face. Even in profile Danny could see it. He felt his heart beat hard against his ribs and swallowed. Blood began to rush through his ears, and his eyes did not leave the photo strip in Steve's hand.

"Wow. I had no idea..." Steve muttered.

Danny licked his lips, staring hard at the strip of photos like he could burn them with his eyes if he tried hard enough. He wanted to snatch it off of Steve and stuff it in his pocket where no one needed to see it again. He couldn't bring himself to move though. In fact, he couldn’t even breath. Not until Steve raised his head and flashed him a grin as he tossed the photos back towards him. 

"You were hot back then. What happened?" He teased.

Danny felt a surge of relief flood through him as he snatched the photos away and slammed it face down against his chest. The surge was so strong that it made his knees weak. He didn't even register the way Clara was looking pointedly at Eddie, who was pointedly ignoring her. Grace had glanced up at the sound of Steve calling Danny hot, but she quickly returned to her gifts. She had accepted that they would probably never realise how hopeless they both were, and - on her mothers advice - she had long since given up trying to make them see it.

"I got shot one too many times, the stress of those hospital bills, and my idiot partner-" Danny mumbled.

He tried to sound as unphased as Steve seemed to be, but he couldn’t help it. Danny had never told anyone about the part of him that felt any sort of pull towards the same gender. Not since Rachel. It had never been a strong attraction before the academy, and they had only dated for three months before calling it off. He hadn't even told his parents about it.  
As far as Danny was aware, no one outside of his Jersey police precinct knew about that part of him.

Honestly if Danny hadn't been too drunk to resist kissing the beer foam off of his upper lip, they wouldn't have fallen on top of each other in that booth, and the final photo would have been a lot less handsy and Steve would never have even known. 

"So, uh, what else you got? Come on, I'm dying to see more!" Steve urged him on.

Danny shot him a suspicious look. There had been a bigger reactions to finding out Danny had gone surfing than to uncovering this massive secret. Steve didn't even seem to register it. While part of him was grateful that he hadn't had to open up about it, the rest of him couldn’t help but wonder why the hell he hadn't reacted. On top of that, Danny's biggest question was why he even cared what Steve thought. It clearly hadn’t changed anything, why did it matter?! His head was swimming with thoughts. 

Meanwhile Steve's heart was pounding. He didn’t know why and he desperately wished he had a bottle of beer to take a swig from to wash it away. As fast as his heart beat the blood in his body went racing with it. Adrenaline was pulsing through him, making his head spin. It wasn't like Steve didn't have secrets of his own in that vein. He'd been in the _Navy_ since he was _s_ _ixteen_ for God's sakes. Sometimes some people just get close, and at times like that gender doesn't matter. Not to Steve anyway. Clearly at least once it didn’t matter to Danny. So maybe if he did say something, Danny wouldn't be as staunchly opposed as he had previously thought...

But Steve's chest was still aching from the shock, and Danny's sunny smile had faded back to a distracted thin line, so the moment had passed.

Eric cursed under his breath. It had cost him a good second hand guitar amp to get those photos from Sargent Peralta. The idea was that this would finally push Danny to realise that his family members had had many dealings with the police. They knew. They were fine with it. Some of their Irish friends were more upset about him marrying and English woman. This final quiet push was meant to nudge Steve into seeing him in a new light. Now it appeared to have backfired to drive a wedge between the two of them.

Maybe he should have just listened to Vito and gone with the mistletoe. 

"Wow, uncle Steve!" Grace gasped.

Her voice snatched them both from their thoughts. They looked up as she unfolded a beautiful hand painted fan that he had picked up in Hong Kong. It's black wood was strong and solid against the thin, red paper webbing. He had deliberately chosen the one with the glittery golden flower petals on it, because he felt Grace would appreciate it. The reason it had to be a fan - despite Chin, who had accompanied him shopping, constantly asking if anything else was just as good - was because Steve knew that Rachel had a tattered lace hand fan that she would use and pretend to be a Victorian lady with when it was hot. So with this, Grace could join in.

"This is beautiful! Thank you so much!"

She stood up and ran across the room to throw her arms around her uncles neck. He laughed and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"It wasn’t me," he lied, "it was Santa."

Steve flashed a cocky look at Danny as Grace snorted. Danny laughed and rolled his eyes. Steve smiled wider. He had come to take eye rolling as a form of love language from the grouchy man after all these days.

Now that Danny had blown off some steam and gotten some rest, he was feeling a little less possessive of his kids, which made it a lot easier to watch Steve's blatant attempts at spoiling them. Besides, he had new problems now. He wasn't sure his heart was still beating.   
When he'd run out of presents of his own, Charlie climbed up on the couch behind Steve and threw his arms around his neck from behind.

"What'd you get Uncle Steveo?" He asked.

"Is that really going to stick now?" Danny groaned quietly. 

"I like it," Steve smirked. 

"Okay Steveo," Danny sneered.

Steve paused. Something about hearing Danny say it made the word hit wrong on his ear. It was one thing for the kids to nickname him but a fully grown man?

"Don't... don't do that," Steve said quietly. 

Danny raised an eyebrow. His eyes sparkled. "I thought you liked it."

"I changed my mind," Steve said. 

"Whatever you say, Steveo," Danny smirked. 

Steve glared at him, "What’d I just say?"

"What? I’m only playing, c’mon, lighten up. Unwrap your presents," Danny teased.

Steve had already given Danny his favourite present. Revenge for stealing his kids nickname for him all those years ago. _T_ _his is gonna be fun,_ he thought. He watched curiously as Steve reached into the stocking. As he opened them he made sure to tear at them from the tape to reduce the mess later.

Inside there was a chess piece about the size of his palm. It was old and made of bamboo. It was the king. Steve turned it curiously in his hand. As he did, the top began to twist off. Steve's heart beat harder.   
He had dealt with plenty of things with hidden compartments before and they very rarely lead to any good. Tentatively, he unscrewed it. When the head fell off, it revealed a piece of paper peering out of the hollow chess piece. His hand shook as he reached out to it. A dozen different scenarios raced through his mind, each one led to danger. His breath caught in his throat as he unfolded it cautiously...

Steve breathed a sigh of relief the moment he saw the handwriting. He'd know Kono's handwriting anywhere. _Every McGarrett had a secret compartment. Time you had one too boss man. Mele Kalikimaka._

"What've you got?" Danny asked.

Steve shook the box playfully and smiled, "Kono's helping me to keep secrets again."

"That girl's really going places," Danny chuckled.

Not long after, Danny found a matching box. His was shaped like the queen though. Most of the rest of the gifts were snacks. Chocolates, sugar coated nuts, candy canes, all sorts of candy for the kids to enjoy. Charlie was wolfing them down between the last of the cookies that had been left in the sitting room for the company to eat. A small buffet of finger food, not unlike one you might find at a birthday party, was set up around the nativity scene under the window. Its soul job was to keep people out of the kitchen while Clara and Eddie cooked dinner. He held that cookie in his mouth as Eric and Vito started doling out presents from under the tree. 

"Its from uncle Steve!" Charlie beamed. 

Steve unconsciously raised his hand to his mouth. He was fairly certain Charlie would like his main present, but given how he was clinging to that laser pointer, he wasn’t entirely sure he made the right choice. Sensing his nerves, Danny automatically reached out to rub his back between his shoulder blades. Vito nudged Eric and nodded towards it pointedly. Eric waved an arm to bat him away.  
Eric had done his best to push the two of them together and they were still blind to it right now, he couldn’t do much more. Besides, he didn’t have any mistletoe. 

"What’d you get him?" Danny asked quietly.

"Comics books, because its not like his old man has the classics hidden away for him to read anymore," Steve teased quietly. 

"Because I'm a grown up now Steve, unlike you, some of us only like to indulge in childish activities if there are actual children around," Danny huffed.

Danny reached over to press a hand on Steve's knee. Steve hadn’t even noticed the way he bounced it nervously. At Danny's touch, he pressed his foot into the floor. Honestly, the man could interrogate global terrorists by looking them directly in the eye and keeping his cool, but hoping this little kid liked the present he got made him nervous. It was almost endearing. 

"What’d you get Charlie?" Danny asked.

"Comics!" Charlie beamed, his eyes were positively shining as he looked up at them, "Comics, just like the one you’re in Danno!"

"Yeah buddy! You love comics, don't you?" Steve asked, letting a hopeful smirk escape. 

"I do, mahalo uncle Steve! Its Batman, Gracie!"

He held up all three comic books to show Grace. She had taken to watching reruns of the animated series with him in the mornings before school. It was a small enjoyment they shared. Grace grinned back at him.

"Holy comic book Batman, so it is!" She teased.

Charlie laughed brightly at her joke. Steve couldn’t hold back his smile. When the two kids messed around, they utterly lit up the room around them. They had inherited Danny's sunshine smile and it warmed the cockles of the heart to see it. When Steve turned to look for approval from Danny, the smile he was met with was overcast.

"What?" Steve asked, tentatively. His own smile was slowly fading as he wondered what he had done wrong.

Danno wrinkled his nose and said, "Really? Batman?"

Instantly Steve’s grin reappeared as he tried and failed to look annoyed. "I don't care if you prefer Superman, Batman is better."

"You’re insane. You are an insane child," Danny laughed.

"Charlie likes Batman!" Steve argued.

"He prefers Superman," Danny argued back.

"Batman’s his favourite," Steve insisted.

"You're both wrong," Grace interrupted. 

Their attention turned to her, almost insulted by the accusation that they didn’t know Charlie’s favourite hero by heart.

"Excuse me?"

"What now?"

"I said you're both wrong. Charlie's already got a favourite hero, and she’s not in a comic. At least I don't think she is..." 

Grace trailed off as she frowned thoughtfully. She knew the show was another revamp of a popular series back from the 80s, but she couldn't guarantee that it wasn’t a comic book too. Everything else seemed to be these days.

"Don't leave us hanging! Who is it?" Steve urged.

Grace glanced at Charlie. He was halfway underneath the tree reaching for the next present. She edged closer to the adults and lowered her voice so he wouldn't hear her.

"She-ra."

Both men reeled back in surprise and shared a confused look. They repeated, at full volume, " _She-ra_?!"

The entire tree shook as Charlie scrambled out from underneath it and swung the first thing that came to hand up into the air like a sword.

**"FOR THE HONOUR OF GRAYSKULL!"**

Charlie yelled at the top of his lungs as he held was was very clearly a gift wrapped golf club over his head and made the whole tree shudder. Eric and Vito both straightened their backs in alarm as he did. Grace face palmed. Steve tilted his head in surprise, and turned towards Danny. Clara darted forward to take the potential weapon from Charlie, just in case.

Unaware of the alarm bells ringing like sirens in his familys heads, Charlie beamed. Next year he was definitely asking for a sword.

"How old are you? That was on when we were young," Steve sneered.

"It got remade for Netflix uncle Steve, get with the times!" Grace scoffed. 

"Yeah Steveo how old are _you?!"_ Danny snorted back in delight. 

Being around kids had given Steve odd habits. When one teased him like this - Joan was a _t_ _error_ for teasing, just like her mom - he liked to playfully tackle them into a tickling match to settle it. Steve fought every urge in his body that told him to tackle Danny then and there. His muscles tensed to do so.

"This ones for you uncle Steve. From uncle Jerry!" Charlie said.

Eric and Danny shared a knowing look. The present was an A4-ish sized rectangle, about an inch thick. When Steve knocked on the surface, it sounded soft and padded. Steve cut along the tape with his nail and slid the paper away from the gift.

Steve lit up to see the prototype cover and laughed, "hey! It's Jerry's book!"

Eric and Danny sarcastically feigned surprise. It was a bound draft which was slightly fancier than the blinder he had given everyone else. Danny swallowed back a flicker of jealousy when he saw the mock up of the cover art. No one else had had thst included. But Steve had signed off with complete faith when no one else had, and everyone else had teased Jerry for months when he let slip that Steve was his hero. It was justified that he get something a little fancier, but still. Jealousy was uncontrollable. 

Steve flipped through the pages which flicked up that fresh new book smell. On the back cover was a black and white shot of Jerry himself, proudly showing off his Five-O badge to prove his credibility.

"He looks good," Steve said, to no one in particular. 

"Thanks, it took a lot of effort," Eric said.

Eric wasn’t kidding either. They had decided to go somewhere comforting and familiar to help Jerry seem relaxed in the photo. The shrimp truck seemed the natural place to go. Unfortunately that meant Kamekona had seen them, and seen a publicity opportunity. To keep him from being in the photo, Jerry had agreed to wear one of his shirts. Which is why the photo was framed from the shoulders up. The background was also blurred so the logo of the shrimp van was obscured too. Kamekona had deliberately driven it forward to try and get it in the frame.   
Don't worry, Kamekona got more than a couple of mentions and props for keep the team fed as well as his other help. Steve would get to that eventually, but while everyone else was thinking about who would dare to give Vito another cigar clipper, Steve flicked over to the dedication page curiously. 

_This book is dedicated to my ohana, the entire Five-O team. With special thanks to my good friend Chin Ho Kelly, for having my back since I was a kid and again when he introduced me to the wonderful people featured in this book. If it were not for you, who would I be?_

Something about that question smacked Steve directly across his chest so hard that it winded him. When he thought back to what first brought him home to O'ahu - the pain, the fear, the desire for revenge - he couldn’t help but think about the moment he met Detective Daniel Williams. If Danny wasn't so pig headed and stubborn and so determined to do his job exactly the way he was meant to, Steve would never have had to phone the commander. Five-O would never have existed. He would have tracked Hesse to the ends of the earth, and who knew if he'd ever even discover Wo Fat. Or that Doris had still been alive.

Five-O had softened him, regardless of what Danny thought. He had changed over the last ten years. He had grown up. Eased off of the naval routine. Fallen in love, had his heart broken, lost so, _s_ _o_ many... As many lives as Steve had touched, they had all touched him too. He barely recognised his thirty year old self anymore.

All because he met Danny.

That simple little question in the dedication of a book, one that wasn’t even meant for him, sent him into a tail spin. The present unwrapping had ended without Steve noticing. He looked around the room slowly. All this tinsel and shining baubles, the twinkling lights, holly boughs, the snow, - the fireplace! It all felt... wrong...

All the Christmases he’d seen on the telly look like this. Not a single grain of sand anywhere to be seen. No surfing Santa hanging anywhere on the tree. Bit weird, but, homely. Warm. It was nice, but it was poles away from the sun and sand and pineapples decorating home. Back in his house, hanging on his tree, he had a little decoration of a shirtless Santa Claus in red swim trunks, his hat, and a pair of sunglasses on a surfboard. The fake wind rustled through his hair and he bounced between the boughs. Just thinking about his surfing Santa made his stomach churn.

There was a pain in the bottom of his chest like his heart was laying on top of his stomach. It was a queasy, distance ache that he hadn’t felt in decades. The pale loneliness in his gut swelled to push the ball forming at the bottom of his chest up into his throat.   
Steve hadn’t been homesick since the day he watched Mary get on a plane and head to the mainland without him. The navy was always moving with each new mission. He could never settle anywhere long enough to call it home, let alone feel homesick for it.

But now he had built himself an ohana...

Clara and Eddie wandered through Steve’s hazy focus, like distant parental figures he had never really known. All the family around him, as loud and complaining and annoyed they all were with each other, the love was undeniable. Support radiated from all of them. All of their secrets, even their darkest ones, protected the family without endangering their lives. Steve's mind turned back to his own father. To his mother. To Aunt Debbie. To Joe...

Steve felt the hot tears sting his eyes as his lungs burned at holding onto his need to sob. Tradition tugged at his heart, and he excused himself from the festivities. No one but Danny noticed. Danny made no attempt to stop him.  
Steve wandered into the hallway and leaned his arm against a wall and his head against that arm as he waited for his sister to answer the phone.

"I wondered when you'd call, it's later than I thought," Mary said. 

It eased the homesickness out of him to hear the festive cheer in her voice. He had no doubt she was still in her pyjamas with Joan, scoffing on marshmallows and watching Christmas movies on the couch.

"Are you forgetting the time difference?" He asked.

"...No..."

There was a short pause that let Steve knew that that was exactly what had happened. He chuckled softly to himself with fondness for his sister. She never changed. He could hear Joan's voice a short distance away from the microphone. It only proved that they were definitely cuddled up on the couch together.

"Is that uncle Steve?"

"Yeah, you wanna say hi?"

"Aloha uncle Steve!" Joans voice was louder and he could hear the smile shining through. 

That was enough to push back Steve's tears. "Aloha Joanie, mele Kalikimaka, merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas! Did you make Danny happy?" Joan asked eagerly.

"Uh, yeah, I think I did sweet- uh," Steve caught his words on his tongue. 

It seemed odd to call Joan sweetie now since Grace had told him off for it. It felt condescending. Catherine had threatened him for that more than once. She needed a new nickname, and there was only one he could think of that fit.

“I hope I did cookie. What about you, are you having a good day?”

"The best! Mom makes the best hot chocolate! And I love my robot dog Uncle Steve, thank you for it it's brilliant!”

“That’s awesome, I'm so glad you liked it.”

“Did you like my cookie?"

"Uh... yknow what? That cookie made all of us here really, really happy," Steve nodded. "Is mom still around?"

"Yeah, here," Joan said. 

Joan thrust the cell towards her mother so she could take the call. Mary ran a hand across her daughters hair, pressed a kiss on her head, and peeled away to take the call in the privacy of the kitchen.

"I take it you're doing dad's Christmas tradition now, huh?" Mary said.

Back when they were kids John's Christmas tradition of taking the time to remember the dead had meant very little to them. As kids they hadn't lost anyone. Before they knew it that Christmas tradition honoured their mom. Whether they liked it or not, that list only grew. Now it was too hard to think about. It was a long list.

"Ah, I want to, I do, but there’s just too many people," Steve said. 

He tried to sound stoic about it, like it rolled off his back in the way it did at crime scenes and on battle grounds, but there was a catch in his throat. At the other end of the phone, Mary instantly felt a ball at the base of hers in solidarity. 

"I keep thinking about Aunt Deb. Christmas must have been so hard on her when I was growing up... I didn't appreciate how much she did, and she did it all alone," Mary confessed.

"Yeah, Aunt Deb was a wonder," Steve agreed quietly.

"It's been hard without her, yknow. I... I wish Joan had met her. Properly, yknow, not just as a baby," Mary said.

"She would have loved her," Steve agreed.

Being a detective was a way of life for Danny. It was what drove him. The biggest reason for that was due to his undying hatred of being left out of the loop. He could forgive easier, move on faster, feel better, as long as he thought he had all of the information. As much as he trusted Steve, he couldn’t let go of the nagging sensation that Steve wasn’t telling him something. He edged closer to the doorframe, keeping one ear out to try and hear Steve. It was almost impossible over the conversation in the sitting room. Jersey folk were loud. They just were. It was natural. A big family like this, it was how they got heard. Plus Clara had suggested a board game, which had caused a riot. As soon as Vito turned the radio on, Danny gave up. He stood up and walked to the door. He leaned against the wall and listened carefully. It wasn't as subtle, but it was a lot more effective. 

"I don't know, that's a good question. Obviously if you want to raise her knowing she was adopted I'd talk to her now. She’s old enough to start understanding, just... I dunno pretend its a fairy-tale or something... yeah, but remember it's hard to honour the dead if you don't know you've lost them."

Danny raised his chin as he silently realised what Steve was doing. He always took five minutes every year to call Mary and check in. To remember what they had lost. All that time...

Danny's eyes turned towards the empty space on the couch. It wasn’t all that long ago that you couldn’t breath in this room at Christmas.  
Eddie and Clara would shelter in the kitchen leaving Vito in charge of their children up here. Bridget and Stella and Rachel would crowd the couch while their husbands, Danny and Matt would clutter the floor. They would watch the game together, spilling their drinks every time they cheered. The more they drank the more they got their limbs tangled, until Danny and Matt usually tried to wrestle to settle an argument that they could have just googled.

Meanwhile Eric would show off to Sophia and Grace in the basement, making himself a bad influence. Fortunately for Grace, Sophia had a mind of her own, and as she grew up, she grew less patient for Eric’s extravagant misdemeanours. That gave Grace options on what to do with her time. The entire house brimmed with life back then, and it really hadn’t been so very long ago...

Danny pulled his gaze away from the empty space where his baby brother had decked him for the first time. That memory had haunted him for years, but now the nostalgia sank in, and he missed it.  
If all they had been missing was a melancholy soundtrack, Vito's radio was there to help. The first note of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas scarcely breathed into the room before Vito snapped bolt upright.

" **Oh yes**!"

The old mans roar dragged the attention from the rest of the house back to him. Even Steve called his phone call short and hurried back into the room. The rest of the William's family reacted almsot instantly when they heard the unmistakable voice of Sinatra purr through the room. Vito turned the radio to the highest volume possible as they burst into raucous cheers and laughter only drowned out as they, one by one, got swept up by Vito's singing.

"Have yourself, a merry little Christmas! Make the Yuletide gay! Next year, all our troubles will be miles away!"

It took a simple song to make Eric think of his mom. Without her around, he was starting the miss her. Eric leaned against Danny as they sang. Danny's affectionate side took over and he wrapped an arm around him. The twoof them shared an appreciative look that would never be mentioned again. On his other side he reached out to Charlie. 

"Once again as in olden days, happy golden days of yore!"

Charlie took Eddie's hand. His grandfather's chest melted with pride. Barely two days ago this kid had been terrfied of him. Now it was like they'd known each other for years. The rest of them fell like dominoes, joining hands to bring each other closer. They leaned against each other, swaying together like drunks at a karaoke. 

"Faithful friends who are dear to us, will be near to us, once more..."

Steve's gaze flicked towards Danny. Danny smiled back at him, warmly. Clara held an arm out towards Steve to pull him into the group. Steve's smile grew as he stepped forward to join them. Eddie's eyes sparkled at Clara as their voices all joined together. She smiled back at him, knowingly. Something about hearing her family singing together as one brought a tear to her eye, even if some voices were missing.

"Someday soon, we all will be together, If the fates allow..."

Eddie reached a hand towards Clara. She chuckled softly. The affection purred along with the music. Steve nudged her forward. Clara blushed slightly as she took Eddie's hand and he pulled her in close against him just as he had on their wedding day. Their dancing hadn't improved much, but it was all about the connection. They definitely had that.

"Until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow!"

The rest of them closed in slightly closer as Grace closed the gap between Charlie and Steve. He slung an arm around her, in the same way Danny slung his around Eric. She smiled up at him, and took Charlie's hand, closing the gap between their immediate family. 

"So have yourself... a merry little Christ...mas... now..."

The family cheered their patriarchal couple as the two of them shared a soft kiss. Danny's heart swelled three sizes to see his parents marriage stronger than ever. They had come so close to losing it all, but they had clawed it back. All they needed was a little support from their family.  
As Vito turned the radio back down he fell back into his seat with a wry laugh on his lips. He picked up his cigar and set it between his teeth.

"Did I ever tell you guys about the time I-"

Eric interrupted with, "Met the man himself in-"

Eddie picked up with, "A dirty old smoke club down in-"

Clara joined in giddily with, "Hoboken! Smoke so thick you could -"

"Cut it with a steak knife! It was like-" Grace began.

Danny cut her off with, "Pea soup! But through the haze of the smoke I could see -"

Eric again added, "An old piano on the stage. The only act who was playing that night-"

"None other than-" Clara cut him off.

"Nicky 'The Kid' Demarco!" Grace cried.

"And who was there, training him?" Eddie grinned 

And the entire room - barring Charlie - chorused, " _FRANK SINATRA HIMSELF!"_

The laughter that filled the room was the exact kind of joyous teasing that made eyes sparkle and lungs ache. The mischief of banding together to tease one old man was truly bonding.

Vito raised his hands in defeat and called over the noise, "Alright, alright, alright, I may have told you the story once or-"

"A million times before?" Eddie smirked.

"It's a _classic!_ You should write these down and retell em when I die, you'll make a million bucks," Vito declared. 

"You wouldn’t even make a million if the story was true Uncle!" Danny laughed.

Not for the first time, and not for the last time, the family plunged into a familiar but not unfriendly debate about whether the story was true or not. Eddie and Grace took advantage of the distraction to sneak off to the study to play halo.  
Christmas dinner was finished roasting not long after they vanished to play video games, but the games ended when Clara called Eric to come and set up the camera. Danny groaned inwardly. Steve ducked across the room to his side.

"Camera?"

"Family portrait with the dinner."

 _"With_ the dinner?" Steve raised an eyebrow.

"It's tradition!" Vito declared firmly.

"I thought no one cared about tradition, uh? Why's this one matter more than oranges?" Danny challenged.

"Because it does," Vito stated.

He very clearly thought that ended the argument all together. Danny scoffed. Clara cut in between the two of them to cup Danny's cheek. She ran her thumb over the cover of his mouth like she did when he was little and he was burning to say something that would get him into more trouble. Like he was eight again, Danny looked down at his shoes and bit his tongue. 

"Let's not start another argument, huh?" She said. "Come on, help me set the table."

Clara led Danny by the hand over to the cabinet where they kept their good cutlery. Thanksgiving and Christmas was practically the only time it ever saw the light of day. Danny obediently picked up a stack of plates and carried them over to the dining table. Steve was already there waiting for orders.

"You take that side, I'll do this one," Danny said.

Steve silently obeyed. He started laying plates along the table as Danny nodded approvingly. Then he tried to lay out the cutlery. 

"Not like that you Neanderthal! Knives go on this side!" Danny huffed.

He leaned across Steve to swap the knife and the fork that he had just laid on each side of the plate.

"What does it matter where knives go as long as they’re on the table?" Steve asked, sharply. 

Danny rolled his eyes, "just copy mine please, okay? Can you do that- it's very simple."

Steve stood to attention, stamped his foot, and saluted, just to raise another eye roll from his partner. The cocky grin as he said, "sir, yes sir!" Made it obvious he knew how much Danny hated it.

And yet, deep down, Danny really didn’t. Sure, it was annoying that his partner was still devoted to the military after everything it had put him through, but this was Steve being a goof, and he loved goofy Steve more than any other. 

Except maybe when he got pissed off and took control of a situation and started barking out orders. Steve was good at taking control. Every time he clenched his jaw like that, it made Danny question things. Although that usually led to Steve going all super SEAL and putting himself in danger which Danny hated more than the salutes.

To be fair to the goofball, he continued setting out the cutlery exactly the way that Danny had asked him to from that moment on. There were so many more plates to lay out here. Back home it was usually three, maybe four plates if Steve didn't have plans yet again. Here the table was a fight for elbow room, especially when the mounds of food came parading out of the kitchen.

Steve's eyes widened at just how much there was to eat. His stomach rumbled in anticipation, so loudly that Charlie heard it and burst into laughter.   
His kids laughter was definitely Danny’s favourite sound in the world. Especially now that Grace was getting older and less prone to fits of laughter. To hear his boy so happy filled him with joy. It only grew when he looked over and saw the light in Steve’s eyes as he joked with Charlie. The two of them looked at one another as if each had hung the moon. The utter admiration that they shared was truly adorable.

As the others took their seats the table became even more crowded, until there was only one empty seat, which would go unmentioned. They still set a place at the table without question. He was still there in spirit. One less voice didn’t make it much less noisy though. Clara was fussing over everyone, smoothing hair and clothes as she passed by. Eric waited at the end of the table with a camera on a tripod, yelling at everyone to hurry up and be ready already.

Danny looked around at his family crowded together around the table and piles of food that would inevitably be sent home with them all as left overs to keep them fed until new years.

This, this is a Newark Christmas.

All of this, the fully dressed fir in the corner, the snow that wasn’t fake and dusty, his mom baking cookies for everyone they ever met - _This_ was Christmas. This is what he’s been missing every year. Not a pineapple in sight.

Although... for some reason, his mind kept wandering back to the tree they had decorated back home. Steve had kept a box of old decorations in the attic, ones Danny were sure were home made, and some that were just old and delicate. It was one of the only signs of a normal childhood Danny had found in the house. And there was something about this one ornament that had just struck him somehow.  
It was of Santa. It was very clearly Santa, with his big belly and his big white beard. But he was in bright red swimming trunks that matched his hat, and he was surfing on a matching surf board. His beard was thrown back with his hair like the wind was coming in fast, and he had sunglasses perched on his button nose. Danny had felt compelled to hang it high on the tree, in full view.

Why it caught his attention, he couldn't tell you. Right now though, he missed it. It felt strangely like home.

"Alright kids, everyone gather in close!" Clara called.

Each of them obediently shuffled closer together. Clara and Eddie stood at the end of the table by the turkey and those closer to them leaned into frame as Eric set up the self timer. Steve lingered, standing just out of shot. He wasn’t entirely sure if he was supposed to be a part of the traditions or not, especially since he was the only one there not a blood relative. 

"C’mon Stevie, you get in too! After all, you’re family now!" Clara beamed. She held out an arm and ushered him closer as she did.

Steve’s heart skipped a beat. "I’m family?"

"No, yeah, sure you are! You're our - oh what’s that word, I always forget... Eric?" Clara clicked at him as she tried to remember it.

Eric absent mindedly picked up one of the string beans. He held it in his mouth as he said, "Ohana."

Instantly Vito smacked him round the back of his head. "Spit that out! We haven’t even said grace get!"

"What?" Grace piped up from the other end of the table.

"Not you Grace," Eddie winked.

"Funny every year," Vito chuckled.

"It's been a lot of em," Grace chuckled. 

Danny's eyes widened as a hush fell across the table. He could feel all of his relatives turn to stare at him accusingly. His daughter had just announced to his catholic Irish Italian family that they were neglecting to praise the lord before eating. That was not something that passed by unnoticed. 

"Oh really?" Clara challenged darkly.

Danny stared into the air, racking his brain for any kind of excuse that he thought might actually get him out of the hole his daughter had dropped him in.

Unfortunately Grace shifted awkwardly, and continued, "Oh, I um, I just mean, its been a long time since I made the joke. Obviously we always say grace-"

"Why do we say grace? What's she done?" Charlie asked innocently. 

Danny sank lower into his chair and raised a hand to his brow as if that would hide him. Steve watched in fascination. Not a question had been asked by the interrogators and yet they had their suspect singing like a canary. Eddie took a seat. By the look in his wife’s eye he could tell this tension could last a while and he didn't want to stand the whole time.

Her eyes didn’t leave Danny, and her tone was sickeningly sweet as she explained to Charlie, "Grace, my dear, is when we sit down before eating to thank God for the food that we're receiving."

"Oh." Charlie frowned. "But Grandma and Grandpa made the food. What'd God do?"

Steve licked his lips and folded his arms across his stomach. As much as he desperately wanted to back up his partner and help drag him out of the hole being dug around him, he couldn't pretend it wasn’t utterly amusing to see him squirm.

"When was the last time you thanked God for your food Charlie?" Vito grinned.

Danny raised his eyes to the ceiling and silently begged God to get him out of this now. If he could do that Danny would thank him for every meal - even when Kamekona used too much spam.

"Let's just get this photo done, please!" Eric begged.

"Yes," Eddie declared, "let's get this photo done and say Grace before the food gets cold."

"Yes," Clara said sharply. She finally dragged her eyes away from Danny and smiled at Eric, "let's do just that."

Between them they managed to gain control of the table for long enough to smile through the aching tension for a photo. Almost as soon as the camera flashed and they could move on, Eddie quietly asked Steve to swap seats with him. Doing so would move him from opposite Danny to right beside him. He quietly took the seat.

They all bowed their heads and closed their eyes as Clara lead the grace. All except Charlie, who opened one eye curiously, just in case something interesting was happening while no one was looking. It took him by surprise when they chorused "amen" and made a dash for the food. Everyone was grabbing whatever was closest - you snooze you lose in the Williams household. Unfortunately for Charlie, while he was reaching for the pigs in blankets, Steve was dumping carrots on his plate. Charlie looked up, disgusted in protest. Steve didn’t look at him though, because he was busy dumping mash onto Grace's plate while she tried to grab the stage and onion stuffing. Grace frowned at the sudden influx of mash, and her gaze flicked onto her father. He was focusing more on getting any food onto his plate and avoiding his mothers eye than on what she was eating. She raised an eyebrow at Steve.

"I don't like mash," she hissed.

Steve turned to face her, plainly. "Be grateful these ones are actually potato. In the navy we only had instant powder." 

Eddie groaned loudly in disgust, "dont remind me! Instant mash!"

The laughter brewed up between them and it rippled along the table. Eating didn't dampen the families ability to talk any. In fact, all the food gave them more to talk about. They sang their praises between the jabs, just like a million other families across America.

 _"Awesome_ carrots Grandma-"

"Grandma you make the best mash every year!"

"Cranberry sauce is a little dry-"

"That’s not even possible, shut up!"

"The turkey is _so_ good-"

"Is there any more stuffing?"

"If only you were as free with the scotch as you were with the lemon in this gravy-"

While the rest were chattering on, Steve noticed how quiet Danny was being. He nudged him playfully so Danny finally looked up at him. Steve flashed him a cocky smirk.

In a sing song voice he teased, "You're in troub-ble!"

Danny glared at him. "I know."

"Why don't you just say grace?" Steve laughed, "It's nothing, it takes like two seconds."

Danny dropped his arm making his watch hit the table as he hissed at Steve, "The way I see it, I'm always thanking God for the big things, for Grace and Charlie and when the Jets win a game, and when Eddie wakes up in the morning so I don't have to have an awkward conversation, and especially when I'm around you! I have to thank him for keeping me alive every time I get shot or stabbed or driven around a corner on two wheels or-"

"What are you two hens clucking about?" Eddie interrupted. 

"Yeah, share with the group!" Clara said.

"Nothing Ma," Danny muttered.

He shrunk back in on himself. His ears had flushed with the blood rushing through his cheeks. He was just sorrowful enough to tug at Steve’s heart strings.   
Steve cleared his throat and looked up at Clara.

"I was just telling Danny how different Christmas is here in Jersey. Back home there's less, uh, green... plant... uh, circles..."

It was Danny’s turn for the soft amusement to grow into a fond smile as he watched Steve frown hard. He was looking directly at one that had been hung around a clock on the wall, but the words weren't quite coming to him. He didn’t like floundering over words. Still, in Danny’s opinion that little pout he got when he was frustrated was just so cute that he didn't want to help.

Eric licked his lips and offered, "Wreaths?"

Steve thumped the table triumphantly and pointed the bed roll he was eating at Eric. "Yes! Wreaths! Right! Less wreaths, more hula."

Danny's soft smile stayed firm, but he was a little disappointed to lose Steve's pout.

"Oh are there traditional Christmas hulas? Like the nutcracker is a Christmas ballet? Do you know any? will you perform some for us, oh please say yes!" Clara asked eagerly.

Steve choked on his bread. Danny's smile widened.  
"Oh my God, please do," he begged.

"Well..." Steve gulped down the bread nervously. "Actually Mary did start a hula class when she was young, and I helped out a little... I’m not so sure I remember any-"

"I learned some hula at school Uncle Steve," Grace interrupted. 

"Me too!" Charlie bounced excitedly in his seat.

"We could try and dance too!" Grace offered. 

Clara clutched a hand to her chest. "Oh that would be so lovely!"

Steve's jaw hung open and the colour had all just drained from his face. "Uh, I'm not sure-"

"Oh don't be modest Steve! We've seen you dancing through the palace, haven't we guys?" Danny beamed.

Charlie and Grace cried out in agreement and Eric did his best not to gag on the mouthful of peas he was eating at the time.

"You're real pretty in your grass skirt. Makes a change from the cargo pants," Danny sneered.

Steve leaned closer to Danny, turning his head towards his head so no one could see what he was saying, and whispered, "What are you doing?"

Danny pulled back to give him the most innocent of smiles, "Enjoying my Christmas."

"Maybe wait until after -" Steve began.

"Dinner and a show, just like in all the fake-y tourist-y luaus back home - wait until you see his fire breathing trick!" Danny winked.

"I don't think we're insured for that," Clara warned.

Eddie cleared his throat. He laid a hand on his wife’s arm and warned gently, "I don't think Steve wants to dance honey, and it's his Christmas too. He doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to, right?"

"Thank you Unc- uh, Sir, I appreciate that," Steve nodded.

Sometimes it was hard to swap between the words of cultural respect. He had called everyone sir in the navy, but Uncle seemed to calm things down faster. It felt more genuine. Here in Jersey though, he figured it might not to down so well.   
Clara pouted. She had the exact same overly childish pout as Grace, which left Steve wondering if they had actually inherited anything from Rachel in the end.

"Oh Fine. But I really would like to see some hula dancing soon if you’re up for that," Clara pleaded.

Charlie glanced between Clara and Steve. He didn't like how disappointed she looked, especially when she had been nothing but nice to all of them since the moment they walked in.

Hesitantly, Charlie suggested, "Maybe we could work on a routine tonight and perform it tomorrow, huh Uncle Steve?"

"That’s-" Steve glanced helplessly at Danny, who offered no help, "that's a good idea Charlie. Maybe we can..."

"And you'll help, right Danno?" Charlie asked.

Steve bit back a grin as Danny’s eyebrows shot up. "Me? Oh, sorry buddy, I dont know anything about hula me. I'm just a haole."

Vito looked over to Eric and mouthed the word at him for translation. Eric translated for him by mouthing back. Steve rolled his eyes but laughed affectionately. It never failed to fill him with delight to hear Danny dabble in any form of Hawaiian culture. He hadn’t expected Eddie of all people to scoff at him.

"Then you should learn."

Danny blinked. "Excuse me? What now?"

"If you've been on that island for ten years now, you aught to know more about its culture. Dancing is the easy part, have you even tried to learn the language?" Eddie asked.

Steve laid his chin on his hand and waited eagerly for Danny to come up with an answer.

"Well Danny? Have you?" He purred. 

Danny glared at him. Steve's batted his long eyelashes patiently as he grinned. Danny licked his bottom lip as he did.

Quietly, he lied, "I hate you."

Another hush fell over the table as they waited for Danny to try and rake his brain for any answer that sounded sincere but not condescending. He had no more plans to dance a hula than he did to make a toast to Eric. Pie crust promises were all his family ever gave each other. He didn't expact them to cash in.

And then Eric cleared his throat. "See the thing is Grandpa, while Hawaiian is the native language of the island, it was actually banned from being used in public spaces like schools for years, until very recently. Because of that and because of the mix of cultures on the island, the language most used by native Hawaiians is actually pidgin. That’s a lot harder to adapt to because of how many languages its made up of and things like that. Its also pretty personal to the culture and I know some people who dont appreciate people appropriating it. Uncle D is actually pretty professional to stick to English since that doesn't bias him. Right uncle D?"

Danny blinked in surprise before managing to choke out, "No- no, yeah, he’s right..."

"How interesting," Clara said, sincerely. 

"You think that's interesting?! Let me tell you about a time I met a little known guy called Kamekona-" Vito began.

Steve dropped his voice back to a whisper but there was no masking his joyous tone. "I can't believe Eric just saved your ass!"

"Neither can I, would ya please let me eat the humiliation away?" Danny hissed.

He heard Steve continue chuckling even as he went back to eating. Danny wondered if he should make a toast tto Eric after all, just to say thank you for saving him. Vito continued spinning a yarn about some ill advised tale of adventure and deception that ended with Vito and Kamekona quietly scamming a councillor. Back home Steve would have had to threaten to arrest him, but he let it go for now. It was Christmas and it was out of his jurisdiction. 

"Why's your uncle Vito such good friends with Kamekona? They only met, what, twice? There’s something fishy going on there," Steve said quietly.

"There’s nothing fishy, Vito's just a consultant for the menu," Danny shrugged.

"What?!" Steve frowned. 

"And that’s why I get paid to eat meatballs! Something I'd do for free anyway!" Vito bellowed with laughter.

Steve blinked in surprise. He had missed a lot in his tine away. Dinner filled their bellies beyond capacity. By the end they were stuffed and exhausted. Once everyone was done, Clara stood up and started collecting in the empty plates.

"Would you help me with the dishes Danny dear?"

Never had such a simple question struck such fear into his chest. If Clara wanted to get him alone, there was a reason for it. Probably something to do with saying grace. Danny raised his head, his mouth still full as he did, and blinked. Steve snorted. He couldn’t leave him to suffer alone.

"C’mon, I'll help. You wash, I'll dry, just like home," Steve said.

"Oh Steve, no, you’re a guest-"

"It's my pleasure. My father always said to show your appreciation by mucking in," Steve lied.

Truth be told there wasn’t much that John had told him that wasn’t in some way related to his work. Whatever little life lessons he picked up along the way, he just claimed as his father's wisdom. Steve waited for Clara to try and argue again before cutting her off with:

"Besides, you said I was family right?"

There was no arguing that. Danny was incredibly relieved. He shot Steve a grateful look and Steve winked back. Clara, Danny and Steve gathered the cutlery up and headed toward the kitchen with them. Clara filled the sink with the dirty plates and stepped back out to collect the left overs and pack them away for later.

"So, I wash, you dry?" Steve asked.

"Can I dry? I just really wanna sit down, I feel like I'm gonna explode," Danny said. 

"Course buddy, it's your house," Steve smiled.

Danny cleared a space beside the drying rack and pushed himself up onto the counter. He kicked his legs as he did without realising. The youthful innocence of the action was endearing to Steve. Danny was so at ease here. He enjoyed seeing him like this. It didn’t take long for Steve and Danny go fall into a natural rhythm. It felt just as cosy and intimate to sit here together as it did back home in their kitchen.

"You gonna remember to control the bubbles this time?" Danny asked.

"It was one time Danny," Steve said quietly.

"No, you do it every time. You deliberately make it as bubbly as possible so you can throw foam at me, but remember how it ended last time?" Danny said, keeping his voice in the same level calm Steve had.

"I forgot there was a knife," Steve said.

"You forgot there was a knife, and why did you forget there was a knife? Because it was underneath the bubbles that's why," Danny said, pointedly. 

Steve pulled away from the sink to lean against it with one hand on his hip. He gave Danny an expectant look.

"What? What are you staring for, is there something on my face? What?!" Danny asked. 

His hand moved to his chin to try and wipe away any stains that might have found themselves a place on his face. Steve tried not to smile as Danny dabbed at his face, but his eyes gave him away. 

"You done?"

"Are you?"

"No, I've got loads left to wash."

"Then how can I be done, there’s still loads left to dry. When you’re done, I'm done, that’s the deal remember?"

"I remember."

Clara watched the two of them in their bubble of quiet domestication. It seemed so obvious to everyone else in the world that they were meant to be together, and yet they didn’t seem to see it. The best detectives in the world and they couldn’t see what was literally staring them in the face.  
Clara cleared her throat and swaggered over towards them. The peaceful air between them engulfed her in instead of letting her disturb it.

"Y'know Steve, when Danny was little, he used to sit right here," Clara tapped Danny's knee and smiled at him so he smiled back softly, "and tell me about all of those little school crushes he had-"

Danny rolled his eyes. "Ma," he warned. 

"And his little cheeks would turn pink, just like they are now-" 

_"Ma!"_

"So cute!" She cooed.

Steve's megawatt smile broke free of its restrains as he glanced up at Danny's pink cheeks.

"So cute!" He teased.

"Ma, what you gotta tell this idiot that for huh? I was a little kid, it was a long time ago," Danny groaned.

"Oh you’re still a little boy to me honey. You’re my baby," Clara cooed.

As she spoke Clara got closer to Danny. Instinctively Danny edged towards her from his waist to reach into her touch. Clara cupped her hands against his cheeks, and pursed her lips as she cooed affectionately. As full of love as her gaze was there was a tinge of wistful sorrow that Danny had never understood until Grace's high school graduation. It was a quiet, impossible was of pleading for him to just stop being a grown up and be her happy little toddler again. 

"Ma," Danny murmured quietly.

He didn’t have the words, but he didn’t need them. His tone brimmed with messages, like if he could grant her wish he could, but he couldn’t, so please don't ask it because Steve’s right there and this is embarrassing. It was a lot for a tone to say, but she was his mother, and she understood him. Clara smiled and patted his cheek.

"I know honey. I know." 

Danny reached out to hug her close. Clara chuckled warmly as she stroked his back. Once upon a time he could fit in one of her arms, now he towered over her. At least it felt like it.  
Steve averted his gaze, but his smile never faded. It was strange to hear a mother talk about the way she loved her child so endlessly, without saying the words. Clara voice held such depth of love that she didn’t need to say it. Steve could hear it. The truth behind it.

If he had listened to Clara talking about Danny before Doris came back, and heard how hollow her voice had sounded in comparison now, he wondered if he would have still fallen for her lies.  
Of course he would have. Whatever else she had done, whatever lies she told, she was still his mother. Part of him, no matter how small, was always going to crave the affection from her that Danny got from Clara. That he gave to his kids...  
Fortunately though, Steve was soon pulled free from those thoughts because he finally got the witness the joyful honour of a mother gleefully embarrassing her child, which he would never get to experience for himself.

She nudged Steve playfully as she said, "All of the little girls he liked Steve, they all had brown hair and blue eyes. It was the damndest thing! From four years old he was always chattering on about Victoria who lived three doors down - do you remember her Danny? Oh you were inseparable!"

Danny was still staring hard at the mug in his hand as he dried it, so hard his eyes bulged. He had been drying it for five minutes now. If he was lucky, and he would never be that lucky, Steve wouldn't link the description of Danny's childhood crush back to him.

"No I uh, I don't remember her ma. I don't think I know any Victoria’s. I remember Suzie. Little blonde Suzie. Are you sure that was me?" He asked firmly. 

"Oh I'm sure!" Clara insisted, making Danny groan and Steve chuckle, "She had these big blue eyes and always wore this blue ribbon in her hair, she was adorable. Sweetest kid. You cried for days after her family left."

Steve's smile fell as he groaned in disappointment, "Aww, she left? Why’d she go? Did you annoy her?"

"I dont know, I was four, I don't remember her," Danny said, firmly.

He kept his voice stubbornly low and level to try and hold back the annoyed embarrassment growing in his chest.

"So it was you!" Steve grinned.

"No-" Danny began.

"If it wasn't, how'd you know what age you were?" Steve challenged.

Danny gulped as he felt his ears blazing once again. The blood was rushing through him again, making him a little light headed too. Steve's wicked grin only grew.

"Oh, and when he was ten-" Clara began eagerly.

"Ma seriously, please stop-" Danny groaned.

"No, no, go on, I wanna know more about Danny!" Steve insisted. 

"Alisha," Clara said.

"Ooooh, Alisha!" Steve cooed. He grinned at Danny and nudged him playfully, "You were a real Casanova back then huh Danny? I bet you had your first kiss at like nine right? Come on, you can tell me."

Danny heaved a heavy sigh, but he knew what Steve was like when be wanted more information. Like a dog with a bone. It was easier to keep as much control as he could, to spare his blushes. Whatever was left of them anyway.

"Uh, no, not nine, _f_ _ourteen._ Jessica Mayes. She was my first crush that I can actually remember. I'd been in love with her since the first day of Junior high, and I almost fainted when I asked her to the dance. Before you ask, no she wasn't brunette, she had black hair and her eyes were brown. I remember because she and her friends laughed at the poem I wrote for her. I spent ages trying to rhyme brown."

It still hurt to think about it. The vulnerability he had shown her had been mocked and it cut deep. Especially at such a young age. That was probably why Danny was so protective of Grace when she showed any signs of interest in that boy at the pool. He couldn't even remember the kids name, but he definitely wouldn't let him hurt Gracie like Jessica hurt him.

"Poems?!" Steve gasped in delight. "Aww, you used to be so in touch with your emotions! What happened to you?" 

Danny raised his head towards him, but still refused to meet his eye, and argued, "Firstly, I'm still in touch with my emotions I just don't feel the need to constantly voice them, secondly, I joined the police academy. When you carry a gun you need to keep your emotions in check."

"Oh I remember you in the Academy too!" Clara cried.

If it was possible, Steve's smile only grew. His cheeks were aching at the strain of it.

"You're killing me Ma," Danny groaned.

"He was always going on about this other trainee he was friends with - P something... Patel? Palant? Paris? What was it, help me out Danny? Oooh, its on the tip of my tongue! He was another Italian kid, must have eaten a dozen of my lasagnas! The two of them looked like little plastic policeman toys in their new uniforms, they were so handsome. Oh _what was his name?!"_

Danny couldn't hold it back anymore, he felt his chest was going to explode, "Peralta. His name was Sam Peralta. Ma let it go, please!"

"That's it! Oh he was a lovely boy. Shame you two stopped hanging around so much, why was that again?" Clara asked 

She knew the answer. It had been years since the family found out. Honestly, looking back, it was a hilarious moment when it all spilled forth.

Eric had found out first when he got himself arrested by Peralta himself and found the photos on his desk. Vito had found out later when hanging out at a cop bar and over heard someone explaining to another offer that Vito was "the uncle of Officer Williams. You know his boyfriend, Peralta." Eddie formed suspicions while a guest of honour at an officers ball. The tension between this boy and his son were oddly familiar but Danny wouldn't talk about it. He asked Clara, who told him she'd caught them kissing goodbye when Peralta dropped him home once and it didn’t need mentioning. Bridget also saw the photos, but it was years later, when she found herself in Peralta's room while on a date with his roommate.

But it was when Stella found out from Sal, who owned a diner down the road where Peralta and Danny had been on several dates, that she started asking among the family if anyone else had noticed anything and it all came spilling out. Arguments sparkes up about who found out first and why they didn't speak up earlier.  
Not that Danny knew _any_ of this. And he didn’t want to out himself like this either. His heart hurt now. 

"Ma..." Danny groaned helplessly. He finally looked over at her, showing just how scarlet his cheeks had flushed. "Why does it matter?"

Clara immediately pulled herself back, "Oh I don't mean to embarrass you chickadee! I’m just so proud of what you’ve grown into! So handsome and smart and talented. I just wish you had someone who saw that too."

She didn't think she was being subtle, but both Steve and Danny thought she meant someone else. Possibly Rachel. Neither dared to imagine she could be pushing the two of them together. Eddie rolled his eyes. He had been lingering by the kitchen door and now could practically feel the humiliation radiating from his son. He couldn’t allow that. 

"Clara dear? Do you want to help us choose a film to watch?" Eddie asked.

"I-" Clara began.

She swung around to look at her husband. There was a sternness to his expression that could send fear down the spine of a firefighter, and often had. Everything he had to say, he could say with this eyes. Clara curled in her lips and nodded.

"I'll be right there. Excuse me boys."

Neither Steve or Danny made any protest to her leaving. Eddie held the door open for her and they left together. The tension from the room breathed out as she went. Danny's heart was still thumping and his hands were sweaty so they slipped on the mugs he was drying. His focus was on regaining control of his heart, so he almost missed the smirk Steve sent his way. His heart started thumping all over again.

"What are you smirking about?" Danny asked.

"You’re such a mamas boy," Steve smirked 

"Alright, yknow what? Shut up," Danny warned hard.

Steve chuckled to himself. Danny tried to give him that usual curmudgeonly glare, but there was a new sparkle to it that took away half of its depth. Between the two of them they could forgive the embarrassment with a smile.  
But something was still sitting on Steve's shoulders. He wasn’t sure how to broach it, so he kept his gaze on his hands in the washing up bowl. It made his stomach queasy, but he couldn't let it go unsaid.

"That Peralta..." he said slowly. He could sense the tension edging in again and cleared his throat. "He the guy in the photos?"

Danny's blush returned harder than ever. His eyes narrowed on the new plate he was drying as he set it down on the drying rack beside him. 

"Yup."

"Ah..."

An awkward silence hung between them. A conversation was still to be had. They could both sense it. Just neither were sure who was going to start it. When the awkwardness reached breaking point, Danny found the words escaping him.

"That it?"

Steve glanced in his direction. He tried to mask the way his jaw clenched but Danny knew him too well. Instead, he looked back down at the washing up. They were running out fast. 

"I was just asking a question. We don't have to talk about it if you don't wanna," Steve assured him. 

The silence stayed but the awkwardness eased slightly. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but it wasn't the same as it had been moments before. It felt easier to open up now that he wasn’t being forced to. It was still slow though.

"His name was Sam... I called him Sammy."

For a moment Steve wondered if that was all he was going to get from Danny. That being said, Sam Peralta was a full name. It was all he needed for a background check, let alone whatever else he could find. Plus he knew what police academy he graduated from, and which precinct he worked in. Anything he wanted to uncover, he could find from his name. Just as he began thinking about what he could find out and plotting who to ask without tipping off Danny, his heard him clear his throat awkwardly.

"We got pinned together back at the academy when someone introduced us as Sammy and Danny. It was silly but... He was one of the smartest guys there, he could find clues I missed in seconds of just looking at the case file. He was funny too. There wasn’t a day that went past that he didn’t have me crying with laughter... We said we were going to clean up the city together, never want new partners, become those old cops who retire together because they can't trust anyone else to be their partner yknow?"

All of the tension had eased away as he spoke. To prevent little ears overhearing he was keeping his voice low, so Steve stayed close to make sure he heard it all. He kept his mouth shut, hoping that would encourage Danny to keep talking. Danny was going to anyway though. He hadn’t told anyone about this in years, and to be so open about it and feel so safe doing so meant he just couldn't stop himself.

"We were kids. Starry eyed and stupid. At some point I started seeing him in a different light... like Grace yknow? At least he let me drive my car. And then we graduated. We were drunk. We were celebrating... but you know what it's like to work closely with someone you love."

"You loved him?"

Steve's chest tightened till he almost couldn't breath. You could see the lust from the photos, but that didn't always mean love. But Danny said love. He could love someone the same gender as him. He could love his partner.

Danny felt a throb of sorrow when he thought of the day they finally called it a day. Their captain was furious with them. A couple in the feild, one that argued like those two had been arguing, that was dangerous. A civilian almost got hurt because it.

"We couldn't make it work, and then we couldn’t work together. It sucked, but I learned a valuable lesson. Never date your partner."

Once again Steve felt a stab of something he didn’t quite understand. Danny chuckled to himself. The nostalgia comforted him. He had buried his feelings for the man for so long he had almost forgotten how strong they had been. Looking back... Danny settled in now and waited for Steve's questions. It was written all over his face that had them.

"Until Grace came along and you fell for her just like you fell for him, huh?" Steve said.

Danny tilted his head at him suspiciously. "Are you really going to pretend you’ve got more questions about me not dating people I work with than me dating a man?"

"I was in the Navy Danny. Don't ask, don't tell," Steve snorted.

At that, Danny's face changed. He raised his eyebrow to silently challenge Steve. If he understood what he was insinuating, there was a lot more to Steve that he didn’t know, and the way Steve opened his mouth, then closed it and clenched his jaw meant he had answers to those questions too. That didn't mean he wanted to tapk about them.

"Steve are you saying-"

"Don't ask, don't tell," he repeated, firmly.

"You can neither confirm nor deny huh?" Danny smirked. 

"All I can tell you is that in that kind of environment emotions run high and it doesn't matter who you're with as long as they're there," Steve said, pointedly. 

Danny pouted. He nodded as his entire view of his partner shifted. Of course he had caught Steve looking at other men. Sometimes when the naval officers came in there was an unspoken bond between them that Danny had always assumed was from battles. Although there was the way he drank beer from the bottle tongue first. Danny licked his lips thoughtfully.

"Yeah well... I haven't really thought about another man like that since. Well not until... but we worked together so, no dice."

Danny had just been thinking out loud, he hadn't really registered that he was doing it. Not until Steve's head snapped up, a little too urgently.

"Who?!"

Danny opened his mouth, then pursed them as he tried to decide if it was worth telling the truth. Sometimes he had to admit he found Steve far more attractive than a platonic friend should. It wasn’t something he had ever lingered on long enough for anything to click though. And he definitely wasn’t about to bring it up to Steve. 

"I thought you said don't ask don't tell," he said.

That was the worst possible thing to say to a detective. Steve was a sniffer dog for the truth, he wasn’t going to stop until he had uncovered it.

"I know I said don't ask dont tell Danny, but this is cruel and unusual torture! Spill!" He huffed.

An idea sparked in his mind. It was risky, but it could reap high rewards...

"Isn’t it obvious? I thought you knew since you kept sending us off together. Maybe you just didn’t want to watch us flirt."

Steve's face crumbled like he was having an aneurysm. Danny could see him running back through everyone they'd ever worked with to try and whittle down just who that could be. He flicked through them mentally like a game of Guess who. Danny hadn’t even thought of an answer yet, but he appreciated how intensely Steve was thinking about it. Finally he snapped out of his thoughts.

 _"Who_ Danny?! _who?!"_ He demanded desperately. 

Danny grinned. "You sound like an owl-"

"I swear to- I swear to God Danny, you have to tell me who or I will text every single man we've ever worked with and ask them if they have any ideas!"

It should have worried Danny that Steve had threatened to out him like that, but Danny snorted at the idea of that group chat. What would you even call it? Who would be in it?

Steve, Lou, Chin, Max, Jerry, Adam, maybe even Kamekona! Every else they bumped into along the way were at risk. He could imagine them all discussing who Danny could love. And he knew what they were like, a competition would definitely break out between them. They'd spend ages bigging themselves up and comparing each others good and bad points. It would turn into deers locking horns during the mating season.  
And what if after all that Danny said it was Hirsch?! Or better yet, _Sang Min_! Oh even the idea of Steve's face hearing that made Danny laugh.

"Don't laugh at me, come on! Please tell me who! I won't tell, I promise! I’m great at classified information, you know that!"

For a moment longer Danny toyed with the idea of naming anyone at random. Chin would have gone along with the joke if Danny had time to let him know. Adam would joke through it, but let it die quickly. As funny as the idea of Steve finding out it was Junior sounded, he didn't want to risk it.  
Ultimately it just felt kinder to end the joke before it went further.

"I'm just busting your balls you goof! There’s no man!"

Steve’s face twisted between shocked, thrilled and disappointed. He reached out to hit him playfully. 

_"Danny!_ I was so ready to help you wing man then, and you ruined it!"

"Wing man?" Danny laughed, but he looked flattered, "You’d wing man me?"

"Course I would. I mean I wouldn't go clubbing or anything-"

"Oof, at our age? No thanks."

"But if there was someone you knew you liked, someone who made you happy, someone who could make the kids happy, of course I'd do anything I could to help you get them..."

Did he mean that? He wanted to mean it. He thought he meant it. But there was a dark feeling of sludge in his stomach at the idea of Danny with another man... but he had friends who were openly gay, he'd been to their weddings, it had never bothered him... People being gay he was fine with, but maybe it was just _Danny_ being gay that didn’t quite click.

Steve licked his lips and pushed the feeling as deep down as he could get it. Danny hadn’t changed in anyway, he was still Danny, and Steve still loved him, so no. It wouldn't matter. He wouldn’t let it.  
In his stubbornness to force himself to support his friend, Steve moved his hand a little too hard through the air and sent a small tsunami towards Danny. Danny yelped in alarm.

"Hey!"

Steve bit back a laugh, "Sorry, I didn’t mean to."

Danny’s eyes narrowed on his half hidden smirk, "You think that’s funny huh? I'll show you funny!"

Danny stuck his hand through the layer of foam Steve had built up to splash him with the soapy water underneath. 

"Real mature Danny," Steve scoffed. 

Danny grinned smugly as he tried his hands on the tea towel. In one swift move, Steve snatched the towel from his hands, and whipped at his knees with it. When Danny cried out in complaint, Steve struck again, going higher this time.

"Whoa - hey - watch the hair!" Danny fussed.

He ducked out of the way of the towel, using one arm to protect his hairdo as he did. Steve laughed brightly at him, staggering back a step as he did, and held the tea towel out for him to take.

"You’re too easy man. too easy," he snorted.

Clara smiled affectionately at the boys. If they couldn’t see each other by now, it was probably hopeless. They were both just too blind. It ached in her chest to know that Danny could have all that he was looking for if he would just open his eyes... But at least he was happy. Danny had been serving the family the firm but fake smile ever since things started headed south in his marriage. It had been so long they had started to forget what his real smile looked like.  
But it looked like this.   
Like sunshine could radiate from a person. Danny was undeniably happy, and that was all that mattered in the end.

Unfortunately undeniably happiness is fleeting. 

When they wandered back into the sitting room, Danny watched Grace as she sat on the floor playing texas hold em with the grown ups. Her eyes sparkled mischievously as she tapped the cards playfully. He smiled to himself. After everything she had done for him in the last few months, he felt like it was time she needed a break. An extra Christmas present. 

"Hey. Come to the kitchen with me, I wanna talk to you about something."

Grace glanced at Steve, questioning him in a look. Steve shrugged, and ushered her after him. When she moved, he stole her place at the table, and her cards with it to join the game. Reluctantly, Grace stood up and followed her father into the kitchen. Here they had some privacy. 

"Hey, so, look, I know I promised I'd spend more time with you this holiday, and I know everything got a bit out of hand, but-"

Grace groaned inwardly as she figured out where this was inevitably heading. At least, she thought she did.

"Danno, listen-"

Danny continued with a smile, unaware of where her mind had gone, "No, no, listen, it's okay. I'm really proud of how grown up you've been recently, and I'm sorry, I'm really sorry that we haven't had the chance to talk, so I've got you a little extra Christmas present. Exciting huh?"

Grace forced a smile. A little extra Christmas present. That's more or less how Rachel sold moving to Hawaii to her. A brand new, huge bedroom, all of her own. And Stan got her a rabbit to for show and tell to make up for working a lot. And Danny got her a dog that ate several cushions. People were always trying to give her things and materials in order to show how sorry they were for not spending time with her. Truth is she didn't want them anymore. They just felt like bribes.

"Family isn't for mmaterial gain danno," she warned.

"Oh - okay but, uh, this uh, isn't material, so it doesn't count," he countered.

Grace tried not to look as reluctant as she felt. She wanted to like whatever he had gotten her. she really wanted to. But they had been here before, and she was tired of it. Her smile faltered. 

"I know you know I don't much like the water but we're probably not going to have so much time together after you leave, and I want you to have one last great Hawaiian experience to remember when you go, so I've brought us an experience swimming with dolphins! Isn't that cool?!"

Danny's grin held so much hope in it. He had tried. Really tried. It was just going to be him and Grace, together alone - with a professional - and dolphins. Just like it used to be. Grace tried to look excited, but she couldn't. She tilted her head at him.

"Did uncle Steve put you up to this?"

His face fell at the tired accusation. "St- No. No, this was all me. Why? What'd Steve do?"

"Danno, I'm not ten anymore. I don't want to have to go to a father-daughter dance in order to spend time with you," she sighed.

Danny gulped at the memory. That dance was branded on his heart. It weighed heavily on him that all the time he was spending here, now, with his family, with Grace, was borrowed. But _Charlie..._ He shouldn't even have existed. Danny shouldn't have been around to conceive him, and the boy had almost died without Danny knowing he was his son. Maybe that made him a little over protective. But in his defence, he spent all of Grace's life fighting for her affection, and he had missed his son's baby hood. 

Danny was making up for lost time like he was trying to hold sand. 

"I told uncle Steve, I don't want something big and expensive that I know you can't afford. I love him but i dont think he heard me," she sighed.

Danny frowned. Steve really hadn't told him anything. This was all him. "But Grace, I-"

"All I asked was to talk to you about... it's fine. It's over now. Thanks for the dolphin experience Danno. We don't have to do it if you don't want to though," she said.

Danny's shoulders sagged. "What can I do Gracie? You're not ten anymore, but I don't know how to deal with that," he said, quietly.

"It was enough to throw snowballs with you Danno," she shrugged.

"Gracie, I mean it. What can I do?" He asked quietly.

"It's fine. I don't need any more presents, I'm fine," She insisted. 

"You're still annoyed," he said. "When you were little I could just buy you a teddy bear and youd cheer up. Now you can see through that. All this time I lost, now I can be there for you, but my baby's all grown up and doesn't need me anymore and-"

"Doesn't-" she reared back in offence, "doesn't need you anymore? _Doesn't need you anymore_?!" 

Something inside Grace's chest finally snapped. It definitely swept Danny back. He hadn't heard her this angry in - well, ever.

"Dad do you ever listen to me?! All I wanted was to talk to you about colleges! Talk about them with _you_ \- that was _all_ I wanted! Everyone says to give you a break because you're doing an important job, a very important thing, and I know that. I accept that. But I gave up looking at colleges so you could come home and do your job. To look after Charlie. You made me miss time with Mom when she went to be with Stan in Vegas because the court wouldn't let me go with her-"

Danny's heart ached hard at the way his daughter snarled at him. He had never seen her so angry at him. In fact, he had never seen her angry at him. She had always put on a brave face when he let her down, and said it was okay. That she was used to it. That made this burn harder in his chest.

"Did you want to go to Vegas?" He asked, quietly. 

She glared at him. "You should have asked me that seven years ago."

"I'm asking now," he said.

She raised her voice in frustration, "No! I didn't! I don't! I really, _really_ don't. But I also didn't want to spend weekends hustling illegal poker games with Flippa! I didn't want to wait out a tsunami warning with no idea where you were or if you'd come home! I didn't want to be a target of kidnapping, or always wonder who was going to pick me up from school because you couldn't for some reason, and I don't want that for Charlie!"

All the arguments Danny had been forming to use against Steve had left him utterly blinded to the anger growing in his daughter. She had been distant, of course he had noticed that, but he thought... he didn't know what he thought. This was out of nowhere.

"Grace, I-"

"Don't. I know."

She heaved a hard sigh. Her breath was hard as the ball in her throat felt like it would choke her. She was so used to the frustration that she couldn't hold onto it anymore. It ran down her back like water off a duck as she swallowed the ball back.

But it was too late to get the lid back on the jar. Danny felt like he had walked into a glass door. He should have seen how tightly wound his daughter was, and now she was unfurling it struck him hard. The blinding guilt that swallowed him made his body numb. He couldn't move his arms, even though he wanted to. They weighed too much. He wanted to pull her into a hug and sheild her from everything. Everything he had caused. His voice choked when he tried to use it.

"I-"

He couldn't manage anymore than that, because Grace still had her voice, and she wasn't afraid to use it. Calm and steady as it was, it was heavy.

"You had no idea because I never told you. Or mom. I didn't want you to worry and I didn't want her to use it against you and move me back here or after Stan or whatever. My life is in Hawaii now. This place..."

She gulped back tears as she thought back to the ice cream shop. Now everything was coming out it was taking her by surprise too. Grace had no idea how much she had been holding in. Back then, in that booth, that absolute pride she held in her heart for her father, it felt so tarnished now. New Jersey felt tarnished now. She didn't want her mom and Danno and an ice cream shop in Jersey anymore. She wanted mom and Danno and Steveo and Charlie, and Kamekona's shave ice after a day surfing with her friends. It was so far away now she couldn't even imagine it. Just one day with everyone she loved together. Why was that so hard?

Her voice was almost inaudible as she whispered, "I just wanted to talk about colleges..."

Danny's heart broke. No kid should ever have to be more grown up than they are. A ten year old shouldn't have to be suspicious of the uniformed officer picking her up from tennis practice because her dad got hurt. He had said it at crime scenes a million times. None of that was fair to a kid. He had never, ever, thought he was putting Grace in that situation. He didn't even know he was doing it. He never even thought of how it affected her over Charlie either. How she defended him too.

Grace was always his little girl.

But she was far too young to look this old.

"Grace..."

His mouth made the words even as the rest of him choked on the realisations. His world had changed without anything changing again. Her deep brown eyes were tinted red as she fought off the tears. Still the emotion didn't enter her voice. Hiding her emotion like that took practice. She had done this before. 

"What?"

"I... I am so, _so_ sorry."

Grace had never once thought to blame her father. Of course he was protecting her, of course he wasn't around, he was an officer of the law. She was so proud of him for that. She hadn't expected an apology. She didn't think there was anything to apologise for. But he meant it, so purely, so earnestly, that it broke her heart. Grace forgave him instantly and darted into his arms.

"I'm sorry..."

"I'm not mad Danno. I understand, it's okay, I'm not mad..."

Danny had never, not once, hugged her as tightly as he did now. Even when she was in immediate danger, even when he had almost died, it had never been this tight. Because if he had lost her over this - if she had chosen to leave and not want to come back - if she could live without him - that would have hurt worse than dying. And he was endlessly sorry about everything his job had lead to. It just took hearing it to know it. Once he did, the floodgates opened.

"I'm so sorry Gracie," he sniffed hard against her head.

"It's okay Danno. I forgive you. It's okay," she assured him softly.

Her voice was muffled by his chest, but he could understand her anyway. She felt his tears dripping onto her hair. The guilt wracking him flooded into her, but she could take it. This would lead to better things. Pain now would lead to happiness later. Like leaving everything they had ever known to go to Hawaii. That's what Rachel had said. Grace still needed to believe it.

"I'm so sorry..."

"I forgive you. I love you Danno..."

Grace buried herself against his chest and screwed her eyes shut tightly so she could pretend, just for a moment, that it was just them. Just them, on the beach, back home. Like she was a kid again. So they could fix things. Of course there was still work to do, things to make up for, but that didn't matter. Not right now. Forget dolphins. Forget college. Forget Steve. This was what she wanted for Christmas.

Just her and her Danno.

This was her favourite Christmas present. 

...

Having things out in the open once again was incredibly freeing experience. Once Danny could breath again, he and Grace had set up a plan for the two of them to start patching things up. Allowances would have to be made to it later, but right now it felt like a solid foundation to build from. A good start to changing their problems and making things better. When they rejoined the others, they felt closer than they had in years.

It also made it a lot easier for Danny to forgive Steve. After all when they walked into the sitting room they found Steve in a santa hat, on all fours giving Charlie a pony ride on his back and it hit Danny that he was out numbered without Steve. If he hadn't been here to keep Charlie busy, he might not have had the time to sit down with Grace and actually talk. Danny was feeling forgiving, so it was kind of difficult to stay mad at him. Both of them felt like they had missed whatever lead them here, but at this point it was easier to snap a photo and move on by claming his seat. Danny ended up on the floor with Steve.

“What was that all about?” Steve asked Danny quietly.

“Nothing," Danny shrugged.

"I heard yelling," Steve said.

He also heard crying. Not Grace's crying either. He knew Danny would never admit it, but when he was staying with Steve, he had been crying at night. Not often, only when it got overwhelming. A late night of relaxing together always followed, because Steve wasn't sure how to broach the subject, but he didn't want Danny to feel alone. It now meant that Steve knew Danny's cry. Fortunately for Danny, he really wasn't alone now.

"Every year someone has a blazing row that gets heated or turns into a fight on the lawn. We call it the big Christmas fight. It's nothing to worry about,” Clara explained breezily. 

Steve frowned. “Are you serious? There’s a fight every year?”

They could he attempted an explination involving high spirits, running tensions, alcohol and the general hot headedness of the family, crowded into this small house for days and bugging each other which always inevitably caused issues, but over the years they had developed a more succinct explanation. 

Danny gave him a wry smile and shrugged, “Christmas tradition babe.”

"But the good news is whatever argument happens at Christmas, never happens again," Eddie said.

"Really?" Steve asked in bafflement. 

"Yep. For the last fifty three years at least," Vito nodded.

Steve blinked in surprise, but he felt like he had just opened a door into what was going on in Jersey that turned his beloved partner into the grumpy old man he was back when he moved to Hawaii. You had to be tough here, and if there was one thing Danny Williams was, it was tough. And that’s what Steve loved about him. 

"Well. Each to their own I guess," he shrugged finally. 

The rest of the day drained away in front of the telly. Grace had fallen asleep on one armchair, beside Eric who was playing on his phone on the other. Clara was knitting quietly on the couch, with Danny sitting beside her, struggling keep his eyes open. Steve was sat on the floor by Danny's feet, legs strawn out in front of him, with Charlie in the crook of his arm, quietly reading a comic book. Outside, Vito and Eddie shared a bottle of brandy and a cigar, and mused about the day behind them.

A new flurry of snow drifted slowly above them, so already little flakes fluttered down around the house.   
Inside, with the fire going, they were too toasty to care. Steve's hand drew little lines across Charlie’s arm as the two of them relaxed in the drowsy air of the room. Steve struggled to keep his eyes open. He was stuffed full of food and love and family and he was incredibly content. And as much as he adored his home town, he had to give Jersey its dues.

They sure knew how to throw a merry Christmas.


	13. Chapter 13

It was always going to be a short trip. That was the plan. A promise to Grace that Danny fully intended to keep. He would keep it. He had to. But the next couple of days were spent lazily with his family, being constantly filled with food so his stomach didn’t know how to grumble anymore, and actually getting the chance to sleep. It was beginning to feel comfortable again. Steve had practically taped himself to Danny's side, occasionally breaking away to help Clara in the kitchen, or play card games with Vito, Eric and Eddie. Eric was terrible. He didn't know how to bluff.

Grace took pity on him and attempted to teach him some tricks on how to keep his cool. Danny, having taught her, helped. They decided Charlie was old enough to learn proper poker skills as well, so there was a good few hours of the four of them cluttered around the table together. Danny's smile was sly and plotting but ever so proud to be gambling with his children. And Eric. Although really Eric felt like a kind of foster kid to him these days too. He seemed to bring out a side to Grace Danny felt he didn't see enough anymore. 

He didn't know the half of it.

However, since the ruckus of their yearly argument, the tension in the house had really died off. Even Vito had stopped poking at people. No one was bickering. It all seemed to just breeze over. Vito and Eddie had sat together at the dining table as they buttered their toast, chatting away as if they'd never said a bad word to one another. Eric had sat with Charlie in his lap, watching Love Actually with Clara, and he hadn't complained once. Grace and Danny were spending more time together and she barely even looked at her phone while they did. 

It left Steve baffled about where Danny's infamous grudge holding came from. Everyone else around here seemed perfectly able to let their arguments go, at least for the holidays. It felt like there was a bubble around the house, keeping them all in a sleepy daze. Steve even skipped half of his exercise routine to bask in it the morning before Danny was due to leave.

Which is how he found himself alone in the kitchen with Clara for even longer than before. 

"I hope I didn’t embarrass you when I was talking to Danny dear. I meant to embarrass him and I forgot you were there," Clara said.

Steve waved a hand in the air and shook his head as he gulped down a mouthful of porridge. 

"Oh no, no, it's really okay. Honestly I kinda like it. It's nice to see Danny surrounded by everyone he loves."

Clara smiled as she took a seat opposite him. "Oh I know. It's been a long time since I've seen him as happy as he is in Hawaii. With you."

It tugged on his heartstrings to hear her say it, but Steve's smile was still etched with confusion. 

"Me? I don't do anything. If I did he'd say all I did was make trouble."

Clara laughed knowingly. "Don't you worry, he says that too. I'll admit, when he told me he'd gotten a new partner who got him shot and blasted through a window on his first day-"

"That’s exaggerating my involvement. Besides, he punched me! He never mentions that!"

"No, no, he did. He said it hurt his knuckles, but it was worth it."

Steve fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Of course he did."

Clara chuckled quietly at him. There was no surprise for Danny’s antics anymore. He knew his partner too well. Almost too well. He was too close to see the full picture. Clara rolled her coffee mug between her hands to warm her fingers.

"I'll admit, I really wasn’t thrilled to hear my sons new partner was such a danger magnet-" she began. 

"I'm not a-" he sighed and gave up.

"All our phone calls were so full of him complaining about you yknow. Steve's gotten me shot, Steve's idiot plan was to jump off of a tunnel, I've never met a Neanderthal so stubborn in my life- I can't think of a single call that didn't somehow link back to you in some way. Honestly those first few months I was convinced you were going to either drive him from the force or kill him."

He felt a bubble of guilt and interrupted with, "I would never have let that happen. If I'd known-"

"I’m not done."

Clara stated her words firmly but without any malice. It was nothing more than an order to shut up. Catherine had a similar tone with him sometimes. Firm but gentle. Steve always fell back into ranks when he heard it. That allowed Clara to continue freely.

"Somewhere along the way, you kept coming up in the calls, but it changed with time. Danny wasn’t so angry when he brought you up. It was little things, yknow, things he didn't mind admitting at first. Steve made me laugh today, we would never have been able to solve this without him, for an idiot he’s one of the bravest men I know, that sort of thing."

The pride in Steve's smile was genuine. Clara could see how much he lit up to know that his partner had revered him from the start, even if it was unwillingly. 

"But it wasn’t until he told me "I'm worried about Steve", that I knew. You wormed your way into my sons affections and you’ve been there ever since."

There was a hesitance in her pause. Steve felt the need to put down his spoon and look her in the eyes. Something was coming, and he needed to hear what.

"I knew that no matter what happened, or how dangerous things got, Danny wasn't going to let you go alone. That’s what put him in danger Steven. You two are crazy for all the things you’ve done- oh you raise my blood pressure more than old Eddie over there ever did! You brought my son into the most dangerous of situations and you made sure he survived them. That's what you did. Now he's never been happier. Even if he'll never admit it. Thank you for that Steve. My boy deserves his happiness."

She laid her hand softly on top of his. Steve nodded quietly. He couldn’t always explain the burden of responsibility he felt towards his team. It was more than just being in command and it always had been. He was there to protect these people, to keep them alive and unharmed. It was beyond duty to him. It was a primal urge to ensure they all came home safe. The best way he could explain was, as he always had, to call it family. So to hear Danny's actual family take the time to appreciate that, really hit home for him. 

"For what its worth..." Steve said slowly as he tried to work out the best way to verbalize himself, "he's saved my life more times than I can even remember. Danny... he’s all I got. He’s ohana. I wouldn't ever let anything happen to him."

Clara smiled softly and nodded. "I know that honey. I just said it. But you should know that you deserve that happiness too. You don't have to be in danger to be happy."

Again Steve felt her words slam into his chest. It was like she could see straight through him and he couldn’t understand why. Clara was just brash. She told him exactly what she could see when no one else would. That was all it was. But Steve was so used to murky waters and smoke and mirrors and never knowing who he could trust beyond Danny, that it never occurred to him that someone would just say what they meant.

"Anyway, I'm gonna worry about him when he goes. He looked terrible when he got here, didn’t he? I know why he's got to leave, but I wish I had more time with him. I hope he makes the most of this time to sleep. He needs to relax more," she said.

Steve snorted, thinking back to the times he used to complain about that Danny refused to agree. "Danno's not the best at relaxing."

"No, he gets that from Eddie," Clara said solemnly. "He can never relax because he knows too many dangers. So do I. It always worries you, especially when you can't see them. When you have to let them go and you know you can't be there to protect them anymore, oooh that hurts. Hurts every time."

"I know..." Steve's mind trailed back to his last moments in his house. As happy as they had all been for him, each goodbye hurt in a different way. 

As if she could read his mind Clara gave him a wink and said, "But it only hurts because we know it's important right? I suppose that pain is the price we pay for love..."

Clara watched the way Steve’s chin sank slightly. The man had so much in his mind and so much weight on his shoulders that she could see the way it tired him. However many goodbyes he had said were written on his face.   
Eddie got that look sometimes, usually around the anniversary of 9/11. She could always see him silently turning over the names in his head, the faces he had seen, the people he couldn’t save. But he always came back to her afterwards. He had to come back to himself for his family. She wondered who Steve would come back for. 

Clara stood up, pulling his attention back to her, and declared, "I'm going to have a bath. All those new bath salts I have, it would be a shame not to use them! knock if you need anything dear."

Steve picked up his spoon again. By now the porridge was a soggy mess, but Steve had eaten worse and lived. 

"Will do Clara."

"Please. You're ohana. Call me mom."

Clara's hand met his jawline so she could tilt his head up. She pressed a small kiss against his forehead, which took his breath away. Steve couldn’t remember the last time anyone had kissed his forehead like that. So easily. So effortlessly. Nothing behind it, no manipulation, no expectance, nothing. Clara breezed away towards the door leaving Steve feeling like some deep, long forgotten crack in his heart had suddenly been stitched back together. He felt his eyes well up. It took him a moment to swivel his head towards the door after she passed. 

"Y-yeah, will do... mom..."

His voice cracked as he spoke. His mind didn’t leave the kiss for the rest of the morning. That was an underrated form of affection.

The rest of the day went by painfully fast. Steve felt like he had blinked and missed it all. Most of if had been spent watching Grace and Danny play snap. She relished in the chance to slam his fingers into the table. Now he found himself hunting through the house with Charlie searching for any bag big enough to carry all these presents back as hand luggage. Steve held up a large, beaten old canvas bag with "I Heart NJ" plastered across the front.

"What'd we think of this?" He declared.

Charlie had been sitting on the edge of his air mattress, quietly watching Steve digging through the drawers against the wall. Now his attention was required, Steve could see the way he was pouting. His family faded to see it.

"Hey Charlie, what’s wrong?" Steve asked.

Charlie shifted his head instead of answering. He knelt down in front of him, but even with the airbed giving him extra height Steve was still much taller than him.

"Talk to me. What's up?" He asked.

"I dont want to go," Charlie sniffed.

"You don't want to go?" Steve repeated, "What are you going to do instead? Live here with grandma and grandpa? Turn into Eric?"

Despite the basement being sound proof, sound still carried when the door was open. Eric happened to be passing when he heard his name. He hadn’t heard the rest of the conversation but given how often insults flew more than compliments in this house, he took a punt.

"Hey!"

"Sorry Eric!"

Steve pulled a face at Charlie when he heard Eric shout, but Charlie was determined not to giggle. To stop himself, he buried his head against his uncle's chest. 

"I want to stay with you Uncle Steveo," he whined.

Steve's heart tugged for the boy. He scooped him up effortlessly, and took his place on the airbed so Charlie had to sit on his knee.

"Oh buddy. I would love to have you travel with me, really I would, but I can't," Steve explained. 

"Why not?" Charlie whined.

"Because that’s selfish of me. You're so important to Danno and he would be so sad if you came with me," Steve explained. 

"Dannos already sad, he can't be sadder!" Charlie whined.

As much as that stung, Steve still had to say, "He can if you’re not there."

Charlie pouted hard and tried his best big puppy dog eyes to convince Steve. It had no effect on him. Well, not visibly. Inside it tore at his heart, but he knew he couldn't really take Charlie travelling with him.

Could him?

No. No, between Rachel and Danny being furious at him and constantly travelling on red eyes, he couldn’t be sure Charlie would get any sleep let alone school. He didn't want to turn Charlie into an army brat without the army. Besides, with Grace at college and Charlie with Steve, who would look after Danny?

"Anyway you have to go home, you’ve got big responsibilities there," Steve insisted. 

Charlie frowned. "I do?"

"Of course! You’ve gotta take care of Eddie right?! I bet you walk him more than Danno right?" Steve grinned.

Charlie's faced changed. He clearly thought he walked Eddie more than Danny did even if it wasn’t true. He kept his mouth shut though because he didn't want to admit he'd been cornered.

"Yeah see? I can't ask you to leave _E_ _ddie,_ and honestly? I think Rachel would be scary if I did. Really scary!" Steve stressed.

Charlie bit back the grin that made his eyes shine. When his mom was mad, she could be scary. Something about an angry mother protecting her child really stuck fear into Steve every time.

Steve bounced Charlie gently on his knee. "So will you look after my dog for me?"

Charlie rolled his whole weight back as he made a product of rolling his eyes, dropping his head and sighing dramatically. 

_"Fi-i-ine!"_ He said. Then he softened as the sadness seeped through and he muttered, "Okay Steveo..."

Steve's heartstrings tugged again. He reached up to stoke the back of Charlie's neck. "Chin up little buddy, I'll be back before you know it."

"You will come home then?" Charlie asked quietly.

Steve swallowed. Grace wanted him to come home. She had guilted him into agreeing to help her move into college. After that, he had no idea if he could stay. That was up to Danny. But Charlie wouldn't understand that. 

"I'll be home soon," he promised. "Until I do, you can look after this for me."

Steve reached into his pocket to find the woollen hat Clara had pulled over his head when they went to play. He pulled it onto Charlie's in turn, adjusting it so he could see. Even when he smiled, Charlie didn't smile back. Charlie climbed up to Steve’s chest and wrapped his arms around his uncles neck like a baby chimp clinging to his mother.

"Love you," he grumbled into Steve's chest.

Steve tightened the hug. His hand landed on the back of Charlie's head as he did. Now it was Steve who really didn’t want to let go.

"I love you more," he muttered.

Meanwhile upstairs in the spare room, Clara helped Danny pack. She had done the laundry and now she was folding it for Danny to pack into his back.

"It's nice to have company at Christmas. I’ve really missed you kids," Clara said.

"It's great to be home ma. Christmas in Hawaii is great but you just can't beat home," Danny smiled.

"You're always welcome back honey, whenever you want," Clara promised.

"I know Ma. But like it or not Hawaii is home now, for both my kids. I gotta be there to protect it," Danny said.

Clara nodded. "You're an excellent father Danny."

Clara folded the next shirt that she had picked up, and handed it to Danny. Danny paused as he took it. He couldn’t place his finger on what, but something felt off.

"What?" He asked.

Clara blinked innocently. "What?"

"Ma, I’ve been a detective my whole career, I know when someone’s withholding information. What’s wrong?" Danny asked. 

Clara gave another innocent shrug so Danny put his hand on hers to stop her being able to continue what she was doing. She had to open up to him instead. 

"I just wonder if the kids are the only thing keeping you on that island," She admitted.

"They're the main thing. Wherever my kids go, I'm gonna follow," Danny nodded.

"Sure, but I don't think that's it. I think you like it there. I think its wormed its way into your affection and you and I both know how hard it is for you to give something like that up," Clara said.

Danny felt a pang of guilt. He was too proud to admit it to Steve, but he had really grown to love the island. The sun and the warmth had gotten to him, and he was growing to enjoy the sea too. Both of them meant that a lot of very attractive people were wandering around with very little on. He still didn't like pineapples though.

"It helps that I love the people there," Danny admitted. Just thinking about them and how they'd teamed up to fill his stocking this year warmed his heart. "My team would do anything for me and I wanna be there for them when they need me."

Clara licked her lips hesitantly. She had to be careful with her words here. "Like how Steve came all this way so you could actually relax with your family?"

Danny's hand froze mid-packing. He adjusted slightly before continuing to pack. 

"What?" He asked nonchalantly. 

"Oh you know what you're like Danny. It doesn’t matter who's around here to look out for you, you know the dangers in this city far too well to relax here. But when Steve came along, you relaxed," Clara said.

"Yeah because he took the kids away. He took my responsibilities for himself and it's hard to relax when you've got to keep them safe," Danny countered.

"Believe me, I know," Clara said firmly.

Danny wrinkled his nose. He remembered the late nights when he was young. The breakfasts that were rushed because his mother had been awake all night waiting for his father who hadn’t yet come home. He knew that anxiety only amplified when he joined the police. He couldn’t help the guilt that came from that, even if they had moved on.

"Steven keeps you safe. Something in you trusts him to look after your kids even when you can't. That’s why you relaxed, right?" Clara asked.

"I don't think-" Danny began. Clara put a hand on her hip and gave him a firm look which forced Danny to think about his argument. "Alright, say you're right, say it's easier for me to relax when Steve's around, what does it matter? He's going back to LA and I'm going back to O'ahu. Why make a fuss?" 

Danny practically slammed his pants into the suitcase. The frustration that came with these arguments always got to him. The bitterness of having to leave Steve behind with the rest of his family made his chest heave. Clara wasn’t about to let it go, but she eased off slightly. 

"Between you, me and the wall though Danny, I think you’re far more important to Steve than you think," she said.

"I seriously doubt that," Danny scoffed.

And he did doubt that. He _knew_ how important he was to Steve. It was why he never doubted he would be saved from Daiyu Mei. Nothing on earth was going to stop him speeding manically across the island to Danny, and he had never let his hand go until the nurses forced him to. But what he was less certain of, and was becoming rapidly aware of, was how important Steve was to him. He had buried it for so long that now it was breaking through it hurt.

"Oh come on!" Clara argued, "Why else would Steve come all this way to spend Christmas with you and your family if it wasn't important to him? It's not every day that someone is willing to spend that kind of money on air travel at the last minute on the holidays let alone fly it."

Danny groaned, "Ma-"

"I'm just saying that if one of the things that makes you happy in Hawaii is Steve, you should tell him. I have no doubt he'd drop all his travelling plans to come home with you if you wanted him to."

"I don't either. That’s why I can't say anything."

It was Clara’s turn to readjust. She paused as she, so Danny waited for her to catch up.

"What?" She said when she finally had.

Danny turned to sit on the bed Steve had been sleeping in recently. His was too full of packing and suitcase to sit on. Clara sat beside him.

Quietly, Danny explained, "Ma, Steve has been travelling the world since he was sixteen. He's never settled in anywhere, everyone he ever loved betrayed him or died or both. He's spent his whole life trying to find somewhere he can feel whole and welcome and loved and I can't ask him to give up that search to come and spend the rest of his days with me."

Clara ran a finger across Danny's forehead, brushing some stray hairs out of his eyes as she listened to him. 

"Why not? If you're so sure he'd be willing to drop it all for you, why not ask?" She asked.

"Steve is pig headed ma. Whatever he wants to do, he'll do. If that means one day he comes home, good, but if he’s forced to do it, he'll never stop wondering if there’s something more he could have. He'll always be half here, half somewhere else. _He_ has to choose," Danny said firmly. 

Clara snorted. "Daniel, he flew all this way. He left his sister at Christmas to come here for _you._ He put up with Vito’s digs about the restaurant just so he could surprise you. The kids love him. He loves them. I think he's made his choice. I think you need to make yours. He's a keeper, Danny!"

Danny felt his cheeks flush so he scoffed. "You’re an embarrassment."

Clara laughed and ran her thumb along his cheek gently. When he was younger Danny had bucked against his mom showing him any kind of physical affection. Now, he craved it. All the little kisses and random hugs that dotted his childhood - the ones Grace wouldn’t let him give her anymore and Charlie was starting to shy away from - they held more meaning now. They mattered more. 

"This packing isn’t going to do itself," Danny said.  
He tried to stand up but Clara held onto his hand so he couldn’t get away.

"Just promise me that when he comes back, you'll tell him the truth. If you matter to each other as much as we see you do, you should tell him."

Danny sighed. "There's nothing to tell ma."

"Are you scared you'll lose him like you lost Peralta?" She asked.

Danny’s heart stopped. His eyes snapped onto her in a mix of fear and wonder. She waited, expectantly for an answer.

"You know about that?" He breathed finally.

She nodded. "We all do. Have for years. You’re not as sly as you think you are Danny."

Danny gulped. In a whisper barely more than a breath, he asked, "Does pop know?"

Again she gave a gentle nod. "He does."

Danny's heart felt like it had gone bungee jumping without him. The rush of adrenaline coursing through him made his hair stand on end and told him to run, yet he was glued to the bed. They were a good Catholic family. He never thought they could understand, yet alone accept that part of him.

Hell he never had.

But here it was. they _all_ knew. And none of them had even mentioned it. Not even as a jab or an insult which was how they usually communicated. They just carried on like nothing had changed, and nothing had.

Except Danny's entire view of his family. 

"H-h-how-" he stammered. 

"You were not as subtle as you think you were," She smiled.

"You don't mind?"

"Mind? Why would I mind Danny? It's a part of who you are. Besides, you looked so happy. Just like you did with Rachel. Just like you do with Steve."

Danny's heart throbbed. "Ma, Steve doesn't think like that."

"He doesn't?" She snorted.

Danny frowned. He wasn't sure what she meant. Steve had been his friend for years and the only person he ever showed any real love towards was Catherine. Well, Catherine and him.

"Danny, I mean it," Clara implored him, squeezing his hand as she did. "Steve’s a keeper. Please don't let your fears get in the way."

Danny's heart was still thundering so he had no idea what she was begging him to do. He had already been out-ed to his partner, to his family, and no one seemed to have any questions but him. It was dazing.

"There's nothing to get in the way of Ma. I promise," Danny said.

Clara sighed. She could see in his eyes he meant it, but in his heart he had no idea what he was saying. He was a love sick idiot with no idea he was in love.  
No wonder people kept shooting at them.

"You pack honey. I’m going to go and make you some sandwiches for the flight. I’m not letting my grandchildren fly home hungry," she said.

She stood up and planted a kiss on his hairline. Danny automatically moved to fix his hair afterwards.

"Thanks ma," he muttered.

She smiled one last time before she left him sitting dazed on his partners bed. Danny picked up the strand of photos laying at the bottom of his case. It had felt so real back then. Like he could be totally honest with Peralta. And he knew he could be just as honest with Steve. But losing Steve had driven him mad a dozen times. Every time he wasn't right there beside him he was endlessly worrying about whether or not he was okay. Just like his mom had. Just like he was sure Rachel had.

It didn’t seem fair to fall in love with someone who was always putting themselves in danger, especially when he was in danger too. Someone had to be the responsible one! Someone had to look after the kids and not just run away to find themselves or some criminal or a terrorist or whatever Steve went hunting when he left. Someone had to be home for his kids, for the kids they worked with, for the dog-

How could Steve have built himself such a strong family and then gone hunting for one?

It was typical, Danny scoffed to himself, of all the beautiful and intelligent women he'd ever cared for, the wonderful, funny, charming, caring women who had loved him too, it was the idiot SEAL who'd stolen his heart.  
Danny’s eyes widened at the realisation of what had just popped into his head. 

"Oh... oh no..."

...

When they booked an early flight, they meant early. Danny and the kids would have been better off not bothering to sleep at all than waking up at this time. Still, the rest of the family came down to say their last goodbyes. All except Vito. Vito had gone to each of them while they were in bed and said goodnight there so he wouldn't have to get up. Eric would have done the same, but he had agreed (or been forced depending on how you looked at it) to drive them to the airport.

Grace stood with the suitcases double checking everything one last time. Charlie was sitting on top of one, yawning hard and rubbing his eyes. He was barely awake. She knelt down to zip up his coat for him, and he reached up to hug her like she was about to carry him to bed. He waved a sleepy goodbye to everyone as Eric carried him out to the car.

"Everything good here?" Steve asked.

He tried to keep his smile warmer than it felt. Last time he had seen her looking like this, with a bag full of luggage swung over her shoulder and more beside her, she, Danny and Rachel were leaving the island for good and he was getting arrested. It wasn’t exactly a happy memory. 

Grace flashed him the warmest smile she could muster and nodded. "Yup. All good. Everything important is in the hand luggage because-"

"You can't trust baggage handlers with anything, they juggle the bags like monkeys at the zoo," Steve finished. He laughed as her smile grew brighter and added, "I’ve travelled with Danny before."

Grace nodded. She was very aware of how often Steve would vanish from her life, followed quickly by her father vanishing, only for both of them to return at the same time, usually much worse for wear. They always made sure the other came home. Until now anyway. Grace shifted the heavy carry-on on her shoulder and heaved a sigh.

"Listen uncle Steve... I’m sorry," she said.

Steve tilted his head, his smile fading. He hated that word. Especially when he wasn't expecting to hear it. It always lead to confessions, and they were rarely helpful.

"For what?" He asked tentatively.

"I get it now. These presents-" Her hand patted the carry-on and Steve suddenly understood why it was quite so bulging. "I get it. You didn’t say goodbye, because you didn’t really leave us. We're in your head aren’t we uncle Steve? You keep buying us things because you keep thinking about us all the time. It's pretty hard to say goodbye if you don't think you’re leaving for good, huh?"

Her eyes twinkled at the idea that he was always thinking of them. That they were in his head whether he liked it or not. Steve’s chest heaved with relief. An apology for being annoyed with him was rare and it was something to be eternally grateful for. Especially since almost every other apology he ever got was because someone had betrayed him in some way or another.

"It's pretty hard to just say goodbye. You know that though, don't you? Because you’re already afraid," He said.

Grace shrugged, "I’m not saying goodbye. I’m going to The university of Hawaii."

Steve's eyes widened and he found himself smirking, "On the west of the island? Driving distance from home?"

Grace smiled back because she knew it sounded ridiculous to stay so close to home and she had made a fuss about not wanting to stay there anymore. It didn't seem to matter so much now.

"I know, but I've already left everything I know once. I don't want to give it all up again, yknow? I'm not ready to leave home just yet," she explained.

Steve’s heart warmed with affection for the little girl he had known and loved for years. He laid a hand on each of her shoulders and said, genuinely, "Grace, you're a brilliant young woman, with a beautiful heart, and I'm going to be so worried about you so I’m gonna need you to phone me like, once a week when you go okay?"

She laughed gently and nodded. She glanced over at Danny, and licked her lips nervously. She tilted her head at Steve, who kept his smile warm despite how blue he felt.

"You could come with us..." she said.

Steve's smile faded slightly as his chest panged. He didn't want to disappoint her, but he wasn't sure what else he could do. He glanced over at Danny. Danny quickly looked away as if he hadn't been stealing looks while he still could.

"Is that what you want? Is that what Danno wants?" He asked, quietly.

 _Obviously,_ she thought, but she couldn't speak for her father, so she shrugged. "It's what I want. And you're always welcome when you do come home. Always."

Steve swallowed like that would dislodge the ache in his chest somehow. He definitely wanted to go home now. Now that he remembered what he had left, he wanted it back. 

"I'll come to help you move. That much I promise," he said, firmly.

Steve's hand pressed against his chest to honour his promise. Grace hopped onto her tip toes and crossed his heart with her fingers. Steve's smile grew again. With a hint of embarrassment in her tone, Grace laughed again. There was a hint of relief to it too that only brightened Steve’s own smile in return. 

"Can we make that phone call a text though? So we dont keep missing each other like you and Danno?" She asked. 

"Yes, yes we can," he beamed, "See what I mean? Brilliant!"

Steve pulled her in by her shoulders and wrapped her into a hug. She fit against his body just perfect enough that he could rest his chin on her head. Steve's megawatt smile was never brighter than when he could give a full body hug to someone he loved. Grace hugged back just as tightly. For a moment, it was as if they would never let go. Then she peeled back from him and cleared her throat.

"Bye Uncle Steveo," she said.

He smiled back. "Aloha Gracie."

She hid her misty eyes as she hurried over to her grandmother who stretched her arms out wide to take in the granddaughter who was off to college. Lord knew when they'd see each other again, so it was a lingering hug.

Eddie cleared his throat to get his sons attention. Danny looked up from his check list at the sound. He and his father had never been open about their emotions, and Danny had been avoiding him since he found out he knew, so this stuck fear in his chest.

"You remembered everything? No precious teddies being left behind this time?"

Danny smiled. When Grace was about three she had left her flospy bunny in their house. They didn’t realise until the tantrum at bedtime. Grace screamed so much she made herself horse for two days. It wasn’t something they had ever wanted to repeat.

"No, not this time," he smiled.

"Good. Good..." Eddie said.

Eddie stuffed his hands deep into his pockets as he shifted awkwardly. Danny folded his own arms across his stomach as he waited for his father to tell him whatever was on the edge of his tongue right now. It usually took a stiff drink for his father to open up, but this time, he felt the need to be stone cold sober for it.

"Daniel, I know I haven't said this as much as I probably should have, but you never say things you should enough do you?" He said, slowly, to the floor.

Danny licked his lip as he tried to figure out what he was on about. "Right?"

Eddie looked Danny straight in the eye and squared his shoulders back seriously. 

"I'm proud of you son."

Danny felt a pang across his chest as his jaw dropped. He had never doubted his father was proud of him, but he'd never actually heard the words before. He wasn't really sure how to react. 

"Oh... wow..."

"I just felt like I needed to say it. I wasn’t at my best the other day and you handled it far better than you should ever have had to. I'm very proud of you," Eddie explained.

Danny did his best to stop his lip from quivering. "Thanks pop..."

The two of them wallowed in this awkward affection for a moment, before Eddie cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck.

"I don't suppose we could convince you to take Eric back to Hawaii with you can we? Surely there’s a volcano you can throw him into or something?" He joked with an airy laugh.

Usually Danny would have laughed through Eddie's jokes, if just to ease the mood. He'd lived through enough of his uncles and their friends teasing him to toughen up to it, so it didn’t bother him when they teased Eric. He was a tough enough kid to take it. But that didn’t mean he should have to. Danny felt a tug of sympathy for him that tugged at his sense of duty. After all, he still owed him a toast.

"Pop, Eric is a smart kid. He hides it really, _really_ well, but he's a good one. I've seen how well he's grown since he left here. He's responsible. He's loyal. That's his real fault. He's loyal to Vito. Vito should be the one you pick on, not Eric. Cut him some slack huh?" Danny said.

Eddie looked surprised but he nodded. "He has grown up a lot recently. Maybe you’re right. It's hard though. I never really thought of you kids being grown up, but now your kids are growing up too, and I missed a lot for work and I just... I'm getting old boy."

"I know the feeling," Danny smirked.

Eddie reached out to pull him into a half hug and patted his back.

"Travel safe kid," he said.

"Love you too pop," Danny said.

Eddie picked up one of the suit cases with one hand and wrapped his arm around Grace to walk them both out to the car. Clara followed them out. She wrapped her cardigan closer around her as she went. It was still snowy out, but she was stubborn enough to go out and wave her family goodbye.

That left Steve and Danny alone.

Both of them felt a little queasy. Neither were really sure what to say. Danny's heart was in his throat, while Steve couldn’t find his anywhere. The realisation that he was in love made his head spin. Just looking at Steve now he wondered how he hadn't seen it before. Loving him was effortless. Blameless. It took more effort to stop loving him. More to dare to say it. The air between them hung with unspoken urges. Neither dared risk speaking them.

Finally, all Danny could find to say was, "I told you you'd like Jersey." 

It wasn't what he wanted to hear. He felt as though the crushing weight of the world in his chest eased with the little laugh he could muster. With Danny’s permission, Steve found the life breathing back into him. All he could offer back was a breezy shrug.

"Well you’re wrong about nine thousand things a day, chances are you'd get one right eventually."

Danny snorted. "Unlike you who can never bare to be wrong, much less admit it."

"Name one time-" Steve began.

Danny tilted his head forward and rolled his tongue over the back of his teeth to stop him from saying something he could regret. 

"Are you serious?" He asked darkly.

Steve pursed his lips. His chest ached with the thump of his heart at the idea of arguing with Danny before he left again. He didnt want that. Hell he didn't want Danny to go.

Now he knew how Charlie felt.

"Let's not turn this into an argument," Steve pleaded quietly.

"I didn’t know you knew how to do that," Danny said.

Steve folded his arms across his torso and puffed out his chest to warn him not to push it. Danny mirrored his pose, not one to be intimidated. They stood, head to head, feeling the tension soaking in around them...

Until Steve's heart kicked back into action and swelled with affection at Danny's stubborn look. His smile broke through despite his best efforts. That smile lit up his eyes and gave him a goofy glow that just melted Danny's heart. Danny felt sick. A horrible puddle of love sickness swilled in his stomach. Part of him wanted to reach out and pull him into a kiss right here right now. Everything just felt easier with Steve around.

Everything except telling him how he felt.

Steve raised his arms out for a hug. Danny had to restrain himself from leaping against his chest like Charlie had. He clung to the taller man anyway, desperate to breath in his smell one last time before headed home. His heart ached as he did. He hadn't noticed it until he was here, against his partner. The house smelt of Steve. Or maybe Steve smelt of the house.  
Maybe Steve just smelt of home. 

_Just come home you idiot!_ His head screamed repeatedly as he held Steve's gaze. 

With Danny against his chest, in his arms, it was all Steve could do to stop himself from crying. He buried his face against Danny's neck to try and regain his control. He was hesitant to let Danny go, but he couldn't risk letting his emotions known. When he peeled back, his hand lingered on Danny's arm. Danny was keenly aware of it. He tried to stay still, to encourage him to keep it there, so Steve would have no idea just how much it made his stomach flip.

Steve took a deep breath. "I'm gonna miss you Danno."

"Then keep me in the loop better this time. Get a satellite phone or whatever, just... just call me more. Alright?" Danny insisted.

Steve's eyes crinkled as he smiled. It made Danny's knees weak. Not quite as weak as his words though.

"Promise. I love you."

"I love you too you Neanderthal..."

It ached to say it. He had said it a hundred times before, but this time, this time he meant it. The words escaped his lips without a thought, but his stomach was in his knees as he did. All he wanted to do was grab Steve. He wanted to chuck him in the car and haul him home to Hawaii with the rest of their things. It felt wrong to leave without him.

Steve's hand slipped away as he playfully slapped his arm. Steve wanted to claw at him. To dig his nails in. The words were hollow to him. They had been tossed around a thousand times and they never meant the same thing, no matter how much he wanted them to. It was all he could do to stop himself from latching on and following him into the car. If he just went with them and made them deal with it, would Danny really be that mad? He'd get used to it eventually wouldn't he?

 _Tell me it's okay to come home. Please. I want to come home!_ He begged silently. But his smile did not portray that. They didn't want to sit beneath this cloud anymore, so he cleared his throat. 

"Y'know all of Christmas day I was waiting for you to say merry Christmas ya filthy animal to me-" he began.

Danny lit up, leaping eagerly onto the new conversation just to have something to talk about. 

"I was going to, but I wasn’t sure Sargent Super SEAL -" Danny interrupted.

 _"Commander_ Super SEAL-"

"Had ever watched it and I couldn’t risk it."

"Of course I've watched Home Alone Danny, it was my favourite Christmas movie as a kid!"

"Yeah I bet it was, I bet you set up the same traps to stop Doris getting in the house like a mini psychopath!"

"I was a boy scout Danny. I used the traps to hunt boar with them."

"Of course you did, how am I not surprised?! You grew up in Lord Of The Flies didn't you?"

Steve opened his mouth to continue the conversation. Both of them were practically sparkling as they let their conversation get away from them. The ease with which their bickering and counter bickering flowed should have made other things easier. Both had been so swept up in each other that they hadn't noticed Eric taking the last of the bags to the car. He came back to clear his throat and interrupt them.

"As much as I hate to interrupt such heartfelt goodbyes, you got plane to catch," he pointed out.

Once again their hearts hit the floor. Each of them had gotten used to feeling the other eyeing them the other when they weren't looking. It was making sure they didn’t get caught doing it that mattered.

"C’mon, I'll uh... I'll walk you to the car," Steve said.

Danny took a deep breath and nodded. They walked in silence, falling in step as they did. The two of them were naturally in synch, and yet they couldn't see it. When they got to the car, Steve even opened the door for him. He gave him a goofy grin and bowed.

"Your highness," he decreed.

Danny wanted to look annoyed but the smirk crawled through. "Typical, you always assume I'm in the passenger seat."

"I'm not assuming Danny, you and I both know you never drive," Steve snorted.

"Never drive, never allowed to drive, it's all relative," Danny shrugged.

Steve chuckled. His hand lingered on the door as he tried to make the most of the last few seconds with them. Danny climbed into the front seat. He looked over at Steve and wondered if he could claw him into the car with him. He could sit on his lap if that's what it took. Everything in him was begging Steve to climb into the driving seat like he always did and just take over. To stay beside him all the way back to Piikoi Street and ask no questions.

But he didn’t.

Neither of them voice their desperation. Instead he reached in one last time, for one last, lingering hug, and stepped back from the car.

"Happy new year Danno," he winked.

Danny's smile had frozen in place, even as the rest of him crumbled. Eric slammed the drivers seat beside him, and Steve shut Danny’s door.

"Get home safe," he called through the window.

As the engine revved, Grace crawled up on her knees to look out of the back door. Danny's eyes were transfixed on the wing mirror. On the doorstep his parents waved their goodbyes, and Grace waved back. Steve raised a hand to try and wave, but his stomach felt sick. He should have been in there with them... 

As they rounded the corner of the empty streer and disappeared from view, Danny's heart was in his throat. Steve was rooted to the lawn, staring at the space they had once occupied. He didn't even try to stop them. Danny felt a ball form in the base of his throat.

Steve made his choice. He wasn’t it. So now he had to move on..

Grace sighed as she slid down the seat and sat down properly beside Charlie. He was already snoring again. He had pulled the woollen hat down over his eyes to block out the light so he could nap better. She glanced up at the rearview mirror to flash a smirk at Danny. He wasn't looking her way though. His eyes were firmly on the wing mirror.

"You okay Danno?" Grace asked quietly from the back seat.

Danny glanced at her in surprise. He hadn’t realised that red rings had formed around his eyes as he swallowed back the lump. Her heart hit the floor to see them. All the joy that had found in the last few days were lost before they even reached the airport...

"Yeah monkey," he lied quietly and forced a smile, "I'm with you aren't I?"

Grace forced a weak smile back. This Christmas was supposed to have been a break. Time to relax and be happy as a family for a change. It wasn't supposed to feel so dark on the other side. He turned back to the window to watch the dark shapes of buildings passing by the window. It was closer than ever inside that car. When Eric turned the radio on and Mamma Mia came blasting out, Grace sat up a little. She thought it would brighten the mood. That was the first time she had ever listened to the lyrics of the song her mother loved so much.

_Yes, I've been brokenhearted! Blue since the day we parted! Why, why did I ever let you go? Mamma mia! even if I say, Bye bye, leave me now or never!_

Eric slammed the button to shut the radio off. He glanced in the mirror at Grace. She met his look, and the edges of her eyes glistened as she held in tears. Silently, Eric offered her a sympathetic look. It would have been funny if it didnt hurt. Danny didn't even hear it. His mind was too noisy to take in the music.

They drove to the airport in relative silence after that. Once they got there, Danny carried a drowsy Charlie in one arm and a suitcase in the other while Grace hugged Eric goodbye. 

"Hey, G-force, promise me that you won't go crazy in college until you turn 21, okay?" He asked.

"You're being responsible. That's not like you. What's wrong?" She joked.

"I was the first one of us to get into college. Everyone was really proud of me. Until I got kicked out. Then when I finally graduated, Sophia didn't even get in. The family needs someone to be proud of. All you need to do is not get arrested. No pressure, but we're kind of relying on you," Eric warned.

"No pressure huh?" Grace sighed.

"No pressure. None. Just don't go crazy until legally you can. That's it. That's the bar. I've dragged it down, just for you. Don't let me down," he said.

Just like that, Grace felt the ease of childhood slip away from her again. He pulled her into another hug and sent her off after her father. Grace glanced back at Eric as he climbed back into his truck. He had lowered the bar. Now the expectations for her were lower than they ever were for him, and she was grateful for that, but she wondered if he knew how proud the family already were of him.

And even if they weren't, she was.

But there was a pit in her stomach. The future was laid out before her now, and it was a foggy trail she could hardly see let alone predict. Just like last time she left Jersey. She couldn't help feeling nervous. Charlie was beginning to wake up as they checked in, and he glanced up at Grace as she picked anxiously at her nails. He reached out and took her hand, like she always too his. Grace glanced down at him. He smiled at her. She smiled back.

At least she wasn't alone this time.

Danny ushered them through security and they settled in the first seats they could find to watch the board for their gate number. Danny adjusted his position to keep an eye on the entrance too. A small part of him that he definitely did not want to voice, was still hopeful. The rest was wondering why they bothered leaving Hawaii in the first place.

Steve drew in a long and shaky breath as the truck rolled down the street and vanished around the corner. He found himself frozen to the lawn. Even as the snow froze his skin, his insides were burning. The longer he stared, the more the twinkling Christmas lights that lined the street blurred into distant plane lights. He couldn't even bring himself to wave as he watched them leave without him. His little ohana were leaving him behind, and it felt totally wrong. He should have just asked if he could come home. Now it was too late.

Even after the truck had long since vanished, Steve found himself rooted to the ground, staring at the last place he had seen it. His mind was a million miles away, on a plane, with his family. That is until he heard Eddie clear his throat behind him. Steve sniffed hard and tried to pretend he wasn't about to cry. Eddie laid a hand on Steve's shoulder as he approached. 

"Son," he said seriously.

Steve's heart twanged at the title. All the people who had ever called him that ended up betraying him. Eddie came round to his side and moved his arm across Steve's shoulder's. He glanced back at the doorstep where Clara waved a hand to encourage him into talking. Eddie rolled his eyes. He looked out over the street with a heavy sigh.

"Steven... there’s very little in life that actually matters. Most of the things we think matter... where you live, the job you do, the car you drive, none of that stuff really leaves a mark. But your family? Even if it's not your blood, the family you build around yourself is the core thing that keeps you grounded. It's all that matters. D'you understand me?"

Eddie had a way of making things sound profound. Maybe it was the velvety tone of his voice, or the way he paused like he was waiting for information to sink in before be moved to the next sentence. In the end, the only thing he was doing was talking from the heart. It wasn't always as profound as it sounded, it just needed to be heard.

"Yes sir," Steve nodded solemnly. 

Eddie tilted his head and let his hand slip away from Steve's shoulders.

"Do you? Because you’re still here," Eddie said.

Steve hung his head and his heart thumped hard again. His jaw clenched carefully as he tried to hide the way he wanted to gulp.

"Danny, uh... Danny doesn't want me taking over his family sir. He couldn’t allow his kids to think of me as their father, and I would never ask him to. He would never ask me to come home, so I uh... I guess... I guess I won't..." Steve said slowly.

It broke his heart to admit it. Despite all the love that had been spilt between them over the last few days, Steve still wouldn't allow himself to place himself within the family without Danny’s permission. It didn’t matter who else offered it, he wanted Danny's. It just never came. Eddie nodded slowly as he considered this.

"With the upmost respect son, that is a crock of horse shit," he declared.

Steve frowned at him. "Sir?"

"Don't call me that, I'm retired," Eddie said, "did you ask if you could come home?"

"I - I didn't want to impose-"

"You asked to come to Christmas here but not to go home? Wisen up son, if you don't ask, you don't get!"

"But-"

"Look, It doesn't matter if Danny wants those kids to look at you like a father or not, what matters is that they already do. Like it or not, that responsibility is yours to bare. It's your decision to let them down by walking away just because you're too chicken to ask if you can go home!" 

Eddie snorted at the very idea of it. Home was home. Nobody could stop him going, he just had to be prepared for the consequences. He would have left it there for Steve to mull over in his own time but the snow was soaking into his slippers and that plane was heading for the runway. Eddie raised a hand to Steve's shoulder again and squeezed it.

"Listen son, I can't pretend to understand what you and my boy feel for each other, but I'll tell you one thing for sure. There's only one thing a man has to do to prove himself, and it's be there. You're no good to anyone if you're not."

Steve blinked repeatedly as the decisions weighed themselves in his head. He looked up at Eddie. He was an old man in nothing but paisley pyjamas, a bathrobe and slippers standing in his front yard in the snow, and yet he made more sense than anyone Steve had ever had to listen to before. His eyes flicked towards the spare room where all of his things were waiting for him, and then back to Eddie. 

The decision was instant.

"I gotta get to the airport!"

The ice could not stop Steve as he made a dash for the door. Clara leapt out of his way, and cheered him as he passed. Eddie threw back his head and laughed triumphantly to watch him go.

"I'll drive!” he declared.

Clara threw her arms around Steve's neck as he passed over the doorstep again. Steve paused for the breifest of moments to kiss her cheek.

"Thank you for having me, thank you for everything!" He said, breathlessly.

Clara laughed and clutched her heart as he had already slipped out of her arms.

"You're welcome honey, now go! Go stop thay plane!" she cried.

Her heart was full of delight and expectation that shone through her smile. If she thought for even a second that they could catch up with Danny before he got onto the plane, she would have been riding shotgun already. Instead she threw the keys to Eddie from the doorstep and cried good luck to them.

"Eddie, Eddie, gimme the keys, I'm gonna drive," Steve ordered.

"Dyou think that's a good idea?" Eddie frowned.

"We're racing a plane set for take off Eddie, I'm trained for this! Gimme the keys!" Steve repeated firmly.

Eddie questioned Steve's training, but time was running out and there was a manic determination in his eyes that could not be fought. Eddie handed over the keys and leapt into he passanger seat. Clara was bouncing on the balls of her feet like Grace in the snow as she waved them off.

It was a mad dash to the airport to say the least. Even this early in the morning, with no one around to see them Steve's driving was dangerous. They skidded on black ice twice, and Steve narrowly avoided a tailspin the second time. Eddie's knuckles were bone white as he gripped onto anything he could to try and keep himself inside the vehicle. He made a mental note to take some of Vito's heart medicine when - if - he got home, because he was only partly sure it was still in his body and not somewhere beside the snow plough they almost collided with. It left a scrape down their paintwork. Their insurance could take the hit, but Eddie was beginning to wonder if his health could.

"There's no point trying to get to the airport if we can't make it there in one piece!" He cried.

Steve hauled the truck around a corner over the side walk taking out a mailbox as he did. 

"Don't worry, I do this all the time!" He assured him.

His assurances were not reassuring. He was definitely going to expect speeding tickets in the post. Before Eddie could even wonder how foolish Danny was to continue letting Steve drive him everywhere, they screeched into the airport at speeds that definitely alerted security. Eddie braced himself for the emergency stop.Steve hit the breaks and Eddie slammed forward. He had never been so grateful for a seatbelt and he had seen a lot of car crashes.

"We're here!" Steve declared, as if that wasn't obvious.

Eddie took a moment to let his lungs return to their natural position so he could breath again.

"I thought Danny was exaggerating," he murmured to himself. 

He got the feeling that if Steve was just ten years younger he would have dove out the car window instead of fumbling with the handle like he did now. Eddie had barely made it out the door by the time Steve had hauled his bag out of the back seat.   
Eric's truck was no where to be seen. Of course it could have been in any other area of the airport, Steve wasn’t entirely sure what terminal they were heading for. He only had a vague memory of the flight details, but what he had he clinged to.   
Steve threw an arm around Eddie to body slam him into a hug for a fraction of a second before making a dash for the door. 

"Mahalo!" He cried over his shoulder as he made a dash for the enterence.

"Good luck son!" Eddie called after him.

Steve's focus was on getting to Danny. He had no idea how much time they had before the plane took off, but he had to get there before it. Eddie chuckled to himself as he watched Steve run. The military was stuck in him. All the training was still clearly visible when he needed it. That kid had one thing on his mind and he was not about to let anything get in his way.

As for Eddie himself, once he regained the ability to breath - staring death in the face at the hands of a love struck SEAL can really knock the breath outta you - he got back into the driving seat this time.

"Oh I'm too old for this shit," he groaned.

His slippers agreed with him. Eddie had to take them off to drive home. He drove away from the airport as if he had written the high way code personally.

When the doors opened onto the chaos of a busy airport at the height of the holidays, Steve took a step back. The rushing crowds and loud, crackled announcements, were not exactly what he was used to. Everyone was slamming past each other like it was vitally important they were somewhere else in seconds. It probably was.

It threw him for a second.

The moment he regained focus, Steve hauled his bags body strap across his chest like a sash so he could free his hands as he went dashing through the airport.

Despite a thousand stories declaring this the peak declaration of love, it was decidedly unromantic. Even with his training in crowd control and manoeuvring, it was a lot easier to actually do when you have a gun people want to avoid. When you're fighting a tide of people marching through in Christmas crowds, each one wheeling bags the same size as their children, it was so much harder. They were tired and grumpy from travelling and none of them cared about Steve's intentions. 

Steve focused his mind on getting to the ticket desk. He needed a ticket to get on that flight. He needed a ticket to even get to the gate, or all of this was for nothing.

His eyes narrowed on the sign that pointed to it. His face automatically fell back into his dont-fuck-with-me look as he ducked through crowds. Squaring his shoulders he marched with all the determination he had back in Afghanistan. Head down, shoulders back, eyes hooded, he was a force to be reckoned with. This time people were leaping out of the way. That certainly caught security's attention. 

The sounds of a small crowd formed towards the security check in. Danny's attention was drawn to it. Alarm bells went off in the back if his mind. People didn’t crowd for nothing.A bunch of people crowding together in an airport was never good.

An endless line of people clogged up the ticket desk. Steve groaned at the sight of it. He glanced up at the clock. He wasn't entirely certian, but his best guess was that he had half an hour before Danny had to be at the gate. This line could easily take that long. He hesitated for a split second before drawing out the ace in his sleeve. Steve didn’t like pulling the Five-O card anymore - not that he had done it that often since leaving - but this was important.

Something was drawing people in. The crowd was moving like a wave, craning to try and see what was going on. They kept stepping forward like they were trying to see what was going on, and then suddenly shuffling back as they were jumping out of the way of something. Whatever it was, it was moving through the middle of the crowd. It either adored or was indifferent to the attention. Danny worried his lip between his teeth as he watched the crowd move. If this caused an issue in take off, he would be pissed. 

People protested, which Steve expected and ignored, as he cut his way straight to the front of the line. At the front had been rather tired looking family and slammed his police badge on the desk.

"Hey!" The father protested. 

Steve swung an arm at them that told them to stay back and wait there. He didn't bother to offer them an explanation though. He leaned on the desk.

"My name is Lieutenant Commander Steven McGarrett-"

"I don't care who you are buddy, we were in life first!" The father argued.

"Sir this will only take a minute!" Steve barked sharply.

The father scowled, "then wait in line for it, like the rest of us!"

Steve ignored him, "I need a ticket for a flight to -"

"Hey, i said-" 

The father's fatal mistake was in grabbing Steve by the shoulder. The moment that he was physically touched he could defend himself physically and he was in too much of a hurry to talk it out. In the blink of an eye he had the man's arm was halfway up his back and his knees were on the floor. The witnesses in line cried out in alarm and the security gaurds made a beeline for them.

As the attention of the crowd grew it gathered more people. The curiosity appeal acted like a magnet. But when someone cried out, Danny tensed up. He felt Grace's hand suddenly slam into his arm. He looked down in surprise. 

"You're not in control here Danno. That man with the rifle is," she said.

She gestured to a man in full kevlar who was carrying an assault rifle in his arm as he walked around the perimeter of the crowd. Whatever was going on over there was under control. That did not ease Danny's alarm bells though.

Steve held up a hand to hold back the security gaurds that had hurried over at the first sense of trouble. He reached for his badge on the desk and held it up to them.

"It's fine guys, I'm just having a word with this gentlemen about why he feels its okay to assult a police officer," Steve said, pointedly.

"I didn't know you were a cop man, I'm sorry," the man grumbled.

"Good because I'm doing something reallt important and i dont have time to book you, so I'm gonna let you go, and youre going to stand there and be quiet until I'm done, got it?!" Steve warned.

"Alright, alright! God!" The man groaned.

Steve dropped him both from his grip and from his mind without a second thought. He also ignored the bitter mutterings about an authoritative state that rippled around the airport. Instead he returned to the desk, where the woman behind the desk barely reacted to what she had just witnessed.

"I need a ticket to Honolulu airport immediately its Incredibly important that I get on that plane," he declared urgently.

Again he slammed down his badge, just to highlight his point. The girl behind the counter blinked in surprise at the badge, but she had worked there for a long time. She had dealt with many, many people, many of whom were unnecessarily rude, and incredibly loud. By this point she was no longer fazed by how urgent his tone was. Everyone thought their flight was the only important one, and she had long since stopped caring about any, so she could keep her tone level and calm despite the badge.

"I'm sorry sir but there's no direct flight to Honolulu scheduled-"

That was not what Steve had been expecting to hear, and he didn't like it.

"There's gotta be an indirect one then! A stopover somewhere, I dont know, but I have to be on it!" Steve interrupted. 

"No, sir, you don't understand-" she began.

"No _you_ don't understand, my partner is on that flight alright - my partner and his kids are on it, and if that plane leaves the run way and I’m not on it?! There will be hell to pay, so please!" The urgency in his voice dropped to desperation, "Tell me you've _something!"_

The girl had been there a long time. Customer service had really hardened her heart to any form of guilt tripping. Her tone didn't change.

"Sir, I can't-" she began.

Steve couldn't take no for an answer. There was too much riding on this.

"There has to be something! I'll pay extra to bump someone if it gets me on that plane-"

"You’re not listening to me-" she huffed, controlling her impatience better than he ever could.

"I have to get on that plane!" Steve yelled.

Another loud interaction caught the attention of the security team around the growing crowd. As they reached for their weapons, Danny felt his back tense. His hand moved from the back of her chair to around Grace's shoulders just in case something were to kick off. She sensed his alarm, and tightened her grip on her bag. Airports were not the kind of place to ignore security intuition, and his police senses were tingling...

Despite his outburst, the only reaction he had gained from the girl was when she straightened up and blinked to readjust herself. Just as calmly as before she took a deep breath. 

"Sir." Her voice was tight and serious but incredibly polite. It even took Steve by surprise that someone so young could sound so authoritative. "I simply cannot get you on a flight to anywhere in Hawaii from here today. It isn't possible."

Now that he had been forced to stop and listen he could feel the seconds peeling away. Each one took Danny a step further away from him. The desperation was getting to him as he shifted his weight from one leg to the other.

"Why? Why not? What’s happened?" 

"There are no planes flying from this airport to Hawaii until the new year. Not even connection flights. I'm sorry but its just not possible," She repeated, calmly.

Steve's chest heaved. His eyes were wide with alarm and devastation. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. 

"But there must be! My partner is on one!"

"He can't be flying from this airport if he is," she shrugged.

"Danny's not flying from here? That’s impossible, he always flies from here. He complains if he doesn’t, he has to fly from here!" He insisted. 

She shook her head calmly. Steve would have been impressed at how easily she carried the conversation if he was able to concentrate on anything but the clock above her shoulder ticking down the time till Danny was no longer in the city at all.

"If he’s heading to Hawaii then I'm sorry but no. He can't possibly be flying from here. There are no Hawaii bound flights out of Newark airport today."

The crowd was shifting with renewed urgency as the gaurds did their best to break it up. Danny tracked the movement of the most alert areas. Suddenly the reason it existed at all became visible. Some celebrity Danny vaguely recognized from some magazine cover was sauntering through the duty free without a care in the world, and an entourage of bodyguards. It became apparent that this crowd was paparazzi when the camera started flashing. At this distance, with the moving crowd, flashing cameras, and huge sunglasses hiding her face, Danny couldn't place who she might have been.

But hey, celebrities passed through JFK all the time right? He could read about it in the next magazine Rachel left at his place. 

He breathed a sigh of relief and let the tension ease from his muscles as the danger passed. Grace rolled her eyes and released the grip on her bag. Her heart was beating a samba. There was something about spending time with Steve that set Danny on edge. Still, it was that edge that kept him safe.

Steve was unapologetic about shoving him way back out of the crowd. He was never going to catch up to Danny's plane now, it wasn't possible. Unless you're Steve McGarrett that is. He had scraps of a plan b already forming as he elbowed his way towards the exit, but he was going to need help. His phone already at his ear as he went. It barely clicked before he started talking.

"Junior! You’re picking up Danny from the airport today right?" Steve accused.

"Aloha to you too boss," Junior's smirk was audible.

"Plenty of time for pleasantries later, listen to me, I need to know exactly what Danny's flight plan is," Steve ordered urgently.

Junior's voice changed as he realised how sharp Steve's tone was. The way he barked orders sent Junior back into his solider routine. 

"He's flying out from JFK at 0700. Why?"

Steve flagged down the nearest cab. Some guy had been heading for it when Steve flashed his badge again, before throwing his bag in the taxi and claiming it as his own. Danny would have been proud to see him behaving like a local.

"Where's he going, what’s the flight plan? I need to know, it's really important," Steve urged.

Junior stood up from the couch and hurried over to his coffee table. He'd made a note of details he had to remember so he could take them into work with hin. Danny wasn’t supposed to arrive until after his shift ended so he didn’t need to know them off the top of his head yet.

"Uh, he's got a stop over in San Diego I think, I'll have to check where. The first flight number is DL 628," he said.

Despite the furious man now left at the side of the road, the taxi was driving away at the top speeds he was legally able to, at Steve's request. 

"Can you track the flights?" He asked.

"Sure, but, sir what's going on? Is Detective Williams okay?" Junior asked, concerned.

"Yeah, yeah, he’s fine, I'm the one in trouble," Steve said.

"Anything I can do to help?" Junior asked, his concern now deeper.

"You are helping!" Steve assured him.

Now that he was in a taxi he had lost what little control he had previously had and his leg was bouncing again with some urgency. 

"Is there anything more I can do?" Junior offered.

"Uh, yeah - yeah!" Steve's eyes brightened as a new idea pinged into his mind. He'd need help for that too. "Yeah there is but I gotta make a call first, I'll be right back hang tight!"

Junior blinked at his phone in surprise as Steve hung up on him. There was a growing bubble of urgency in his gut that made him want to leap into action. Being unable to made him antsy. He glanced over at Eddie. As though sensing the mans concern, the dog let out a low whine.

"Me too buddy," Junior assured him, "me too."

As much as Danny tried to keep Steve out of his mind, part of him couldn't help hoping that he'd see him come running through the security checks searching for him. He could just imagine that megawatt puppy dog grin of his utterly lighting up his face as he came running over. Danny could yank him into his arms and tell him everything, knowing that Steve had chosen them.

His family.

That he was coming home... 

Perhaps that's why he kept one hopeful eye on the door as they waited for their gate to be declared. Even when it finally appeared on the board Danny dragged his feet. It was a desperate finally act for the man who was always keen on punctuality. Grace noticed the gate had appeared on the board, and pulled off a headphone as she turned to tell her father. When she saw the way he was staring at the security check, silently willing something to happen, Grace recognised the look.

Years ago, back before Charlie was even alive, Rachel had whisked Grace off to the airport in the middle of the night without telling Stan. She knew that look of desperate hope. Her mother had been wearing it when Danny failed to show up and come back to Jersey with them.

Grace's heart softened. She hated seeing her parents like this. She always did. But they couldn't wait. They needed to get this flight or they'd run the risk of missing their connection back to home.

"Flight DL 628 to San Diego now boarding at Gate 6." 

Danny’s heart dropped when he heard the announcement. The thought of just refusing to go flashed in his mind. It was quelched by the feeling of Grace's hand on his arm. Even though he hated it, she was being the responsible one again.

"Come on Danno. They won't wait for us," she warned gently.

Danny gulped. He worried his lip again, but he knew in his heart she was right. The plane wouldn’t wait for them. Nor would the other. They had to get home tonight. Danny wouldn't break his promise. Reluctantly he stood up and gathered the bags. He had to tap Charlie's shoulder to get him to look up. His lip quivered as he did.

"But... uncle Steve isn’t here yet..."

If Danny’s heart could have crashed any further it would have broken the floor as it went. 

"Uncle Steve’s not coming buddy," he said quietly.

Charlies's wide eyes brimmed with tears. "But... but he said he'd come back soon..."

Danny swallowed back the tears stinging at the corner of his eyes. "Soon. Not today. C’mon buddy, let's go home."

The idea that Steve was going to make an ass out of himself by dashing through one of the busiest airports in the world, shooting through security to do so, and track down the William's family before they got on the plane, was becoming less and less plausible with each passing moment. Danny hated how much he wanted to believe it was possible when it so clearly wasn't. Charlie was already in tears and Grace didn’t want either of them to know how close she felt to crying too.

None of them had expected Steve in the first place, and now all of them were secretly hoping to see him one last time. It seemed foolish. They felt foolish. But it was just the right kind of foolish that the goofball would manage to pull off if he wanted to.

 _If he wanted to_.

Even though they had deliberately placed them self at the end of the queue to give Steve the longest possible opportunity, he still hadn’t arrived by the time they reached the door. With a heavy heart, Grace handed over her boarding pass, as well as Charlie's while Danny took one last look behind them.

He scanned the entire airport for any clue of anything that looked remotely out of place. Any tiny indication that Steve was even trying to find them...

Nothing...

Not even a text...

Wherever Danny’s heart had gotten to, it was no longer in his chest. He tightened his grip on his boarding pass as he lingered for just another second. 

"Danno. He's not coming..." 

As firm as calm as Grace's voice was, it passed through Danny's ears. He vaguely heard them, but he didn’t want to listen. He didn’t want her to be right. Grace's heart sank as she remembered how her mother had looked exactly the same when waiting for him.

This was a love story that wasn’t going to happen. She had seen it all before. She had seen _Danny_ do it before. As much as it hurt, she slipped her hand into his, just as she had done to her mother, and squeezed. 

"You’ve still got us," she said.

Danny looked down at Grace. She had Danny in one hand and Charlie in the other. For a split second both Charlie and Danny had the same look of heartbreak on their faces. Then Danny returned to his usual mask of a small smile. It didn’t hide the pain in his eyes at all.

"How could I want anything more huh?" He said. 

He ran his hand though her hair gently, and allowed her to pull him towards the plane. The staff nodded at the boarding pass and smiled a friendly smile to each of them as the family passed through.

The door behind them shut.

The air hostesses showed them the safety routine.

The plane went racing down the runway.

They took off up into the sky...

Charlie buried his head in his sisters shoulder. She had finally claimed the window seat, but it didn’t seem to matter anymore. Not one of them said a word for the whole flight. All three of them were wallowing in the same pool of disappointment that Steve had not come home with them.

It was different than it had been five days ago when they arrived in New Jersey. It was, in fact, worse than five days ago. Because despite both times being about how desperately they missed Steve, this time they were plainly and painfully aware of something that hadn’t entered their mind before.

Despite how much they missed Uncle Steve, Uncle Steve did not miss them enough to choose them.


	14. Chapter 14

If there was one thing that could make matters worse today, it was a delayed flight.

The flight out of San Diego was delayed by two hours on top of the lay over time, and they had no explanation for it. Grace half-heartedly tried to make things cheerier by sharing out the sandwiches that Clara had thrust upon her before she left. Clara had sent Vito to the nearest deli to bring in a fresh new loaf, and saved the last of the home-made stuffing just for these subs. All three of them were packed full to bursting. Charlie needed two hands just to hold his. They provided a needed distraction from the sadness though, so they savoured them as fully as they could. Since they were well packed, Charlie didn’t even make a fuss about not having sweets to snack on along the way. Their conversations never strayed far from food for the entire delay. It was the only quiet thing they could connect over that didn't cause reactions. 

"I like the way Grandma always uses mayo in her subs. It makes it, uh... it makes it... bring out the flavours I guess," Grace said quietly. 

It was a stilted conversation. It was hard to drag it on with them, but Grace couldn't bare to sit in silence anymore.

"This bread is nice," Charlie muttered.

"It is isn't it?" Grace forced a smile. 

She just appreciated having someone to back her up. As much as Grace had wanted to break something a few days ago, she now wanted to cry. She was holding herself together for Danny and Charlie, but she was one more set back from tears. All that anger towards Steve that she had been storing had emptied away, and the hole was still there.

Now she just wanted to cry.

"What do you think Grandma is doing right now Charlie?" Grace asked. 

Charlie shrugged miserably. He wasn't really aware of the elephant in the room situation. He wanted to talk about Steve. He didn't understand why the others wouldn't. 

"Probably making subs for Grandpa and Eric and Vito and Steve."

Grace winced. Charlie frowned. Charlie was a mess of emotions because he had no idea which one to feel strongest. They all seemed to flit through him like a flip book. The anger, the disappointment, the desperate heart ache from missing his uncle, they all paled to his confusion. He had no idea why Steve hadn’t come with them, he had no idea why Danno had let him stay behind, why it made Danno so sad even though he hadn't even tried to get Steve to come with them, why Gracie was being so quietly cheerful instead of complaining like usual- Charlie had no answers but the questions were endless. 

Grace glanced over at Danny. There was no use trying to pull a conversation from him right now. Sure, he'd muster up a smile for them, maybe suggest a way for them to entertain themselves, but he wasn't up for talking yet. Danny kept checking his phone. His thumb had taken him back through endless text messages back to the last one he sent Steve before his plane took off. 

_Miss you already_. 

He had met it too. Danny had missed Steve the moment he left the beach. The team that had gathered when he was leaving stayed close to reminisce together, and it had felt more like a wake than a party. Danny wanted Steve to walk back in, laugh like it was all a joke, and lighten the mood. But he wouldn't. So Danny sent this text...

He read it and reread it in the airport. Three little words that held such meaning to him. Of course, the following thousand texts were dotted with the phrase, but they were losing their meaning now. If Steve had ever meant them in the first place, he would have been in this hard, uncomfortable metal chair beside Danny in San Diego right now. He would definitely be complaining about the way they'd chosen to come home too. Danny could practically hear him. 

"I mean c'mon Danny, I know you wanna save money but all this for a crappy two hundred dollars? We're not even gonna fly first class when the plane arrives! You gotta loosen up, this is not how life is meant to be lived."

Somehow that only made things worse. The lingering sense of betrayal was not something that he could let go of. He loved Steve. Gave his organs to Steve. Opened his family to Steve.

How could Steve not love him enough to come home?

The longer Danny soured over the question, the darker the cloud hanging over them got. Eventually Grace stopped trying to lighten the mood by talking. Instead she built a little nest out of their bags and settled Charlie on her knee to watch She-ra on her phone. They had one headphone each to do so, but Grace wasn't listening. Her head was already in the clouds. She-ra's family felt as complicated as Charlie's did, and for the first time, it didn't feel so reassuring. 

It was easy to say that this was the longest and worse trip that the three of them ever took together.  
Danny glanced up at the board to check their flight details. It still declared a delay but refused to suggest a time frame for it. He sighed impatiently. 

"How long does it take to fix a damn plane?"

...

"Say what you like about Ian and Aaron Wright-" Jerry began.

"I have a lot to say about him, the guy deserves to rot in jail for what he did, and hell after that," Tani interrupted bitterly.

"I agree, but you gotta admit, this technology is awesome," Junior said.

Tani wrinkled her nose in disagreement. Even as an army brat it didn't sit right with her to know that technology like this could control vast swathes of people who just wanted to live their lives. She didn't think that a small group of people gathered in Iolani Palace so be able to have any real effect on a family in San Diego. 

"You should know that if ya'll ever do this to me when I'm flying, I'm suing," Lou warned.

The technology he was talking about was the same tool that Jerry had used to take control of Aaron's plane just after take-off. The technology turned it into little more than a sophisticated remote-control toy, completely under his control.  
The plane they were currently using as a toy was much further away than Aaron's had been though. To get the signal across to it they had to bounce the it off of a satellite, which weakened it somewhat. That didn't overly matter though because they were only trying to keep the plane grounded. The signal they had was strong enough to scramble the systems enough to make nothing on board work, even though it was functioning perfectly. This baffled the engineers at the airport.

Jerry groaned inwardly as he typed a code to help hide the signal being beamed to the satellite and avoid them being detected. What they were doing wasn't exactly legal and despite having full immunity, they didn't want to have to explain to the governor just exactly what they were up to. Let alone Danny.

"We really shouldn't use that for something like this," Jerry groaned.

"I agree, which is why I want it known I had nothing to do with this. When Danny comes in here all ready to complain and works out what really happened, I don't intend to be in the building," Lou said seriously. 

Lou had made the wise decision to be a silent addition to this mission, but he was stubbornly and verbally not _involved_ in it. If anybody asked, he wasn’t even in today. Lincoln had taken that extra step of actually being on a boogie board on the ocean at the time, so no heat would fall on him. No one was entirely certain where Quinn was though. 

"It's only for a little while longer, they'll never know we had anything to do with this," Junior said.

"Well none of us are ever going to tell Danny about any of this. Are we?" Tani said, firmly.

She gave each of them a warning look that ensured they all knew it was less of a question and more of a threat.

"I'm not looking to get shot, I'll keep my mouth shut," Lou sneered.

Jerry shook his head again. He had no intention of telling anybody anything about his involvement today. Not that it mattered. He had seen Danny pull confessions out of people like a thread from a shirt. If he caught even a whiff of suspicious behaviour from any of them, he would unravel it. Jerry shuddered as he swapped the take-off issues from being with the altimeter to being in the wing flap.

"We shouldn't even have this technology. We should have destroyed it when we had the chance so no one could use it again," he muttered.

"Well if we had done that now, we never would have got that slime ball Aaron Wright arrested in the first place, would we?" Lou pointed out.

"It still isn't right to use this. It shouldn't exist," Jerry said seriously. 

"Ain't no body forcing you Jerr, if you wanna stop, stop," Lou said.

"But if you do, you'll ruin the surprise," Tani said. 

"And McGarrett's counting on us to make it work, so we're counting on you," Junior said.

"But it's your choice," Tani added, pointedly.

She shifted her weight onto one leg and tilted her head at him. Junior turned to look at him, and folded his arms across his chest, which caused his biceps to bulge. Lou pursed his lips at the new tension in the room. Memories of his brother peer pressuring him into things went whizzing through his mind. That usually ended the same way. He glanced at Jerry, expectantly.

Jerry held out for longer than any of them had expected him to. His gaze flicked between each of theirs, and the 3D blueprint of the plane displayed over them. For a moment Tani almost thought he was going to back out and run the risk of ruining their plan. Then Jerry sighed and hung his head, admitting defeat. She let go of the breath she was holding while Junior clapped a hand on his back approvingly. 

"Think of it this way buddy - you’re the only person in this room who knows how to use this. And we're the only people outside of a prison cell who knows it exists! This technology, it starts and ends with you, man," Junior said. 

He added another clap on Jerry's shoulder as he did. Jerry couldn't decide if that knowledge made this burden heavier or not. While he still firmly believed no one should have this much power, at least only he did. If he only used it to control the escape routes of people who murdered his friends, or terrorists from now on, maybe he could find satisfaction in that.

Lord knows grounding Danny to keep him out of the air until McGarrett could catch up, didn't have that same satisfaction. 

The sound of a text alert sent all of them to attention. Steve was going to text the moment he was close enough that they could let go of the plane. By their calculations, the moment the grounds crew realised the plane was okay, they'd check it over again for at least an hour and a half before agreeing it was airworthy. Jerry in particular was eager for that text.

But Steve was texing Junior, and it was Tani's phone that went off. Tani pulled her phone out of her pocket to check their next order. Her shoulders sank. 

"What? What's going on?" Junior asked, concerned. 

"It’s err, it's not him," Tani said, still frowning at her phone.

The others shared a concerned look for the way she was frowning. They weren't entirely sure whether or not to pry. But Lou wanted to know more than he didn't want to pry.

"Well then what’s with the face? C’mon, sharing is caring, out with it!" Lou urged.

"Um... Quinn can't make it," Tani said.

That wasn't helpful. Since Junior was needes elsewhere at the predicted time that Danny would arrive, they wanted Quinn to pick him up from the airport instead. If she couldn't drive, she couldn't pick him up, and they needed to arrange something else at short notice.

"Is she alright?" Jerry asked.

"She will be, but she can't currently drive," Tani said.

Her smile melted away into a smirk as she started to laugh at some of the messages still pinging their way through. 

"Out with it Tani, or I'll pull up your phone on here so we can all see!" Lou warned.

Tani raised her head and flashed them a dazzling smile. "Um, she got carried away with party games at Robin Masters estate and broke her arm. We need someone else to go to the airport later."

"Is she okay?" Jerry asked again.

He tried to sound concerned, which he was, but he was a little distracted. He figured that if he started to let go of all the little glitches pinning the plane down and setting up unimportant issues that didn't affect navigational systems, he would confuse the engineers even more. 

"Yeah, she says she’s fine," Tani snorted. "She says she won drink or dare."

As Junior and Tani share a knowing snicker, Lou raised his eyes to the ceiling and tried not to roll them.

"Youth," he muttered, exasperated.

Another alert pinged through, this time from Junior's phone, and Jerry's attention was caught with it. He laid a hand on Jerry's shoulder.

"Alright, you can drop the signal now," he said.

Jerry heaved a sigh of relief as he virtually handed back controls to the ground crew at an airport thousands of miles away. A ripple of excitement ran through them. Junior rubbed his hands together eagerly, ready for the next stage of their plan.

"Okay so now that everything is reading as cleared again, they're going to have to check it over a couple times and then book another time slot for take off. We've brought roughly about another two hours. Tani, you get the wrapping paper, I'm gonna grab Eddie, Lou, if you wanted to go home-"

"I ain't going anywhere. I love my brother more than life itself but if I spend ten more minutes at home with him, I'm gonna bust his ass and ruin Christmas for everybody," Lou stated.

"Alright," Junior nodded. He turned to head for the exit, but paused to grin at Jerry, "Hey, you did good man."

"Better than good, you did great. We couldn't have done it without you," Tani grinned.

She squeezed his shoulder as she passed. Jerry smirked to himself. He couldn’t help feeling a little proud of his part, even if no one could ever know what had happened here. 

"Those secrets are the easiest ones to keep," Lou said, as if he had read Jerry's mind, "because if you open your mouth to anyone about it, no body gonna believe you anyway."

He chuckled wryly as he made his way to the coffee machine, leaving Jerry to pack away his equipment. It had been a long time since Jerry had been back here for any kind of work like this, but it still felt like home to him.

...

Travelling makes you tired, hungry, and ratty. The only part of that that didn’t apply to the three Williams standing in Honolulu airport was hungry. When Clara fed them, she filled them. One heavy sub in an airport on the other side of the ocean was enough to get them here. Still, they had been stuffed together in a flying tube, which Charlie was still terrified of, for hours. They had been travelling for nearly eighteen hours, including four in an airport that they hadn't planned for. By the time they stepped into the gentle warmth of Hawaiian winter, jet lag had caught up with them. International time zones had played their part in screwing up their day, and now all they wanted was sleep.

"Who's picking us up Danno?" Grace yawned.

Danny had texted Junior from the plane to let him know there had been a delay, but his phone was in plane mode and he wasn't certain that it had gone through. Phones were goofy and planes were against him. They were now just waiting at arrivals for someone, anyone, to come and get them.

"Junior's supposed to. Let me call him," Danny said.

Charlie found his familiar perch on top of their suitcases and did his best to keep his eyes open. It was a real struggle. Now he was back on solid land the absolute ice terror that had filled every cavity of his body had drained out of him. The rush of adrenaline had worn off, and now he felt like a marionette unable to hold himself up. When Junior didn’t answer, Danny phoned Tani.

"Aloha boss, you're getting in late aren’t you?" Tani asked cheerfully.

"Yeah, I know, there was a layover and I- I just - do you know where Junior is?" Danny held the yawn out of his voice as much as possible.

"Oh, right he didn't tell you," Tani said.

Danny’s chest tightened. "Tell me what?"

"Junior got called up for a special duty. He's not gonna be able to pick you up. I'm covering for him here, but don't worry we sent someone to pick you up, they should be there any minute," Tani promised.

Somehow Danny failed to find that overly reassuring. His chest tightened with concern for the man he had grown to think of as his work son. Junior had always taken after Steve, which is probably why the pair were so inseparable, and they both felt the need to serve their country to honour their heritage. The navy had formed both of them into who they were and they were always willing to do their duty when called upon, and Danny _hated_ it every time.   
After everything they had all been through was it too much for the Navy to stop asking them for favours? 

"Any idea what he’s doing? Is he safe?" Danny asked, concerned.

"Yeah of course. It was something about a high-profile individual landing at the army air strip, I wasn’t really listening," Tani shrugged.

Danny rolled his eyes. He loved Tani, he really did, but sometimes she could be so frustrating. Of course, that had its own benefits. Hell, that frustrating stubborn determination of hers was what had allowed her and Quinn to avoid the CIA long enough to rescue Junior in the first place. But at times like this, when he just wanted to know that the kid was safe, she wasn't the only reassuring person to talk to.

"Alright, if you hear from him let him know I'm-"

"Worrying about him? Aww, that's so sweet of you to worry about a highly trained Naval SEAL," Tani teased.

Danny’s chest eased finally, although it allowed in the heartache again. "I've had a lot of practice."

Tani's smile dampened at the other end of the phone. She didn't like the depth of his tone. Something was up. It was about then that Danny caught a glimpse of a bright blue beaten up open top vehicle he really wished he didn’t recognised. Although everyone on Oahu recognised it really. Kamekona's face printed on each door and the hood made it fairly recognisable. 

"Thanks, Tani," he muttered.

The conversation had clearly ended before she could ask if he was alright, but she forced a smile anyway. "Welcome home Boss!"

The line died and Tani pursed her lips. A bubble of guilt formed in her. She had been so swept up in one side of their plan she had forgotten about the real time affects it would have on Danny. But it wouldn't be long before his spirits were lifted. He wouldn't be in the dark much longer. She had to console herself with that.

Danny hung up and nudged Charlie awake. Charlie blinked slowly to adjust to the light. It took him a moment or two to recognize the large man in the loud shirt walking straight towards them. The moment it clicked in his mind, Charlie lit up.

There was a lot of rumours about Kamekona floating around the island. He was a big man with a big name made bigger by his businesses. Any of his business partners - and he had _l_ _oads_ of them - could vouch for the fact he had a head for business, but he knew his priorities. Yes, two days after Christmas was a good day for the restaurant in particular - the Christmas left overs are starting to run out or go bad and ultimately people just want something different - but his ohana needed him. He could give up a couple of hours to help them out. Especially since it was Danny's fault the restaurant existed in the first place.

"Hauʻoli nā keiki Kalikimaka, hoʻokipa home! Howzzit?!" Kamekona beamed. 

The kids lit up to see a friendly and familiar face. He had stopped somewhere along the way to the airport to find them some leis. Pretty, purple leis too. They were hanging on his outstretched arm as he approached. Grace and Charlie leapt to their feet to get their hugs from him in turn. After each hug he set a lei over their shoulders to welcome them home.

As he took in the sight of Danny, Kamekona's face crumpled. "Not for nothing brother, but you look like hell. Dyou get any sleep at all this week?"

"I slept find back home, it’s the planes that did this to me," Danny sighed. 

"Sure. I guess aviation doesn’t lend itself to relaxation," Kamekona shrugged.

He set the last lei over Danny's shoulders. Danny was too tired to fight against it. Plus, over time he had grown to appreciate small parts of the island culture, like leis. Flowers had never been his thing, but they were starting to remind him of home.

"Thanks for doing this Kamekona, I know you’re busy, I appreciate it," Danny said as he picked up his case.

Kamekona moved to pick up the other, when he noticed the cloud that hung over them. He frowned hard.

"Whoa, whats with all the sad faces? I know the mainland is bad but usually people come back smiling. C’mon, tell Uncle Kammy everything," he insisted. 

"Thanks, but no thanks," Grace said.

Charlie buried his face against her. If he could sleep standing up, he would have been a lot happier right now. Kamekona glanced between the kids and then back to Danny. Something seemed off here. Something beyond jetlag.

"Fine. What’d you bring me from your travels?" He joked.

Danny smirked as an idea hit him. He reached into his carry on and pulled out his edition of Jerrys book to hold out to him.

"Here buddy, just for you," he smirked.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I’ve got three hundred of em, they're selling slow but they’re selling," Kamekona said.

He waited for one of them to show any signs of questioning that statement. Before they left, he hadn't mentioned his attempt at branching into book selling yet, so he had expected some kind of reaction. None came. 

"Seriously, no follow up questions? Are you losing your edge brother?" Kamekona asked.

"Listen Kamekona, I do appreciate the ride, but if it’s all the same, I don't wanna talk. I just wanna go home, and collapse on my big empty bed and pass out for a few days," Danny sighed.

"Enough said, you guys catch some Zee's. I'll fill the ride with my own sparkling conversation," Kamekona beamed. 

Danny groaned inwardly. Kamekona was true to his word. He helped them to carry their luggage to the car, and drove out of the airport, filling the lull with his own commentary. Even as they drove down into town with the kids dozing off in the back, Kamekona gave them a cheerfully guided tour and said he was offering them alongside the helicopter tours now. Danny didn’t bother to take any of it in though.

Looking around at the openness of the island made Danny's mind wander to his first day here. He had hated every inch of greenery with his entire being. All he wanted was to see the cold concrete he had grown up around but it wasn't to be seen. There was luster in the air. What wasn't green was painted in the brightest of colours, and lights scattered across the ocean no matter what time of day. Soft warmth hung lazily around them, and the breeze carried tropical scents unlike any you'd find back home. All of this was safer now than it had been the day he arrived. Because he had stepped up, stepped in, and personally stopped a dozen terror attacks, dozens of secret intelligence schemes, hundreds of armed robberies, about a million murders... 

Looking around, everyone he could see was smiling or laughing. All of them were safe and protected even if they didn't know it. Because Danny had put his life on hold to protect them.

His eyes moved across the land, taking in the sights before it settled on the rainbow running down the Hilton. Forgetting the murders was easy when the other memories of the place came flowing to him. He and Grace had gone swimming so many times while he was staying there. Charlie had learned to swim there too. The ball for the governor had almost won him tickets to some amazing games (which Steve somehow ended up with and wouldn't tell him how, although Lori had something to do with it and he knew that). That's what he saw when he looked at these places.

The good times.

That's what Hawaii was. Good times. Even if some of them had to be sacrificed to save people, this was where his family had been happiest together. Danny was proud of the work he had done here. Both at work, and in his home life. The work he had put into building a home for his family was something he was also proud of. Proud enough that it eased the guilt of the past that lead him here. It just took going back to Jersey to see it.

There was just one thing missing.

Danny's mind was drifting away with him as the warmth of the air and the hum of the engine carried it off. His mind wafted back to New Jersey, watching the Steve and the kids playing in the snow. The snowballs flying... that goosebump giving smile of Steve's... the joyful laughter... making Danny's own smile so wide it hurt his cheeks... 

"And this is the famous 27 Piikoi street! Childhood home of Lieutenant Commandant Steven McGarrett and the beautiful Mary-Ann McGarrett, current childhood home of -"

When the engine was cut off, Danny's attention returned to the world. Lazy as he felt now, he couldn't listen to Kamekona anymore. He was practically shouting now, as if he was trying to alert everyone on the street that they were back. His great voice boomed loudly which echoed off of the buildings around them as he did.

"We're home, we get it," Danny cut him off.

The two of them climbed out of the car and Danny moved towards the back to get his bags. His gaze moved back to the house and Danny caught a glimpse of movement from inside the house.

He froze. His eyes narrowed on the window...

There it was again! 

It was a tiny flap of movement, like someone was peeping through the windows. It made the curtains waft lightly, giving them away. As small as it was, it kicked him into defensive mode as a rush of adrenaline rushed across him. 

"Kamekona, I need a gun," Danny muttered.

"You’re the only one with a gun here brother. I ain't risking my track record on concealed weaponry," Kamekona shrugged.

"You gave Steve a gun," Danny argued.

"Steve was on my property," Kamekona shrugged.

Danny huffed. He had a gun on his property too. It just so happened to be way in there, where the potential danger was. 

"You think you're gonna need back up?" Kamekona asked, hopefully.

One glance at his eager eyebrow bounce let Danny know that his idea of back up didn't come with a police badge. 

"Just stay here, keep the kids asleep, I'll be right back," he ordered. 

Kamekona frowned, but nodded. He leaned against his car, watching as Danny kept low and snuck up towards his own house. Grace and Charlie dozed on, unaware of where they were or the danger they were in. 

A little military technique that Joe White had taught Danny was how to keep his breath under control so that it didn’t become loud enough to drown out his hearing. He resented needing to know it, but it had come in handy more than a few times. His heart was pounding against his chest, reminding him with every thump that he didn’t have Kevlar to protect him. 

Danny crept up towards the window, staying low and out of sight as he did. When he was close enough he crouched beneath the window pane. He leaned up cautiously, to peer through the edge of the window to scout the place out. The lights were dim but he could make out details he knew well.  
The tree was still standing. The TV was still on its stand too. From what he could see, nothing was out of place.

Nothing except what looked like a big box in the middle of the room.

Danny frowned hard. Nothing had been touched except this box and the decorations. Someone had gone in to turn on the fairylights. A faint scent of fresh coffee wafted through the air towards him. If someone was inside, they hadn’t triggered the alarm, but they had made coffee. He frowned. Who were these people?

The security system in this house was second to none. The only way anyone could sneak in was if they entered while someone was already home. That had led to several altercations in their time, mostly violent. Usually though, Danny had a weapon to defend himself with. Today he didn't. 

He knew exactly where the gun safe was though. And he knew a dozen places where Steve had stashed weapons just in case he needed them (although he had removed the majority of the easily accessible ones before Charlie ever stepped foot in this house) none of them were downstairs though. Not in the rooms Danny had time to check anyway.

But the gun safe was close to the door. It was just by the booksheld. If he could just sneak in and make it across the room to his weapon without being discovered, he knew he could stand a chance against whatever he was facing.

Danny glanced back at Kamekona's car. He was standing like a bodyguard over Danny's kids. That was actually incredibly reassuring. No one would mess with Kamekona. He had fingers in too many pies. But Danny couldn't risk them entering a potentially dangerous situation like this. 

Christmas had already been tainted by the cloud of leaving Steve behind, Danny would not allow a break in to add to that. He dared to go in.

His fingers twitched as he reached for the door handle. As silently as possible, he opened it. He slipped through the living room towards the safe hidden by the bookcase. He kept close to the furniture in case he was spotted. It was always good to have cover. He kept listening out for any kind of noise or sound that could alert him to where the intruder was.

It was hauntingly quiet.

He made it to the safe uninterrupted and immediately felt safer with his gun in his hand. Someone had been here. Whether they still were or not, Danny couldn’t be sure yet, but they had been here. In this house. In this room.

They had left this box...

Danny edged cautiously towards it. His mind raced with ideas of what could possibly be inside. Plenty of unsavory people had passed through his life, and plenty more through Steve's. He couldn't even be certain this was about him and not a case of mistaken identity. 

Then he heard a click.

Danny's stomach dropped. The hair on the back of his neck curled upright. He reached into the safe for his gun as quietly as he could. His heart beat quickened as he heard the back-door creak open. Danny darted to the wall to stay out of sight as he snuck up on the intruder.

But a clatter of dog tags made him pause.

There was a scuffle of paws on the tiles, and familiar sniffing as an old friend caught a familiar scent.  
Eddie hauled himself across the kitchen, barking wildly as he did. His tail beat up a hurricane as he dashed into the empty sitting room. He sniffed the air again, his tail endlessly wagging. Danny didn’t have time to react to the sight of the big yellow dog before Eddie barked happily and leapt on him. 

Most of the tension rushed out of him as he fell to his knees to gather the excited dog into his arms. 

"Hey, hey, hey Buddy! Hey! I missed you too!" Danny laughed.

All the fear and tension leftover eased in his chest as Junior strolled into the room after the dog. The relief that flooded him almost hurt. He couldn't let the kids think their home was unsafe. That just wasn't fair to them. Danny gestured at Junior with his gun.

"I thought you were off on an important mission! I almost shot you!" Danny accused.

Junior cracked a grin, "Aloha to you too."

In Junior's defense, he was dressed in his camos. Sure, he had taken off his jacket so now he was wandering around in a tank top but he had his tags on. Honestly the fact that Hawaii was still warm enough to go without a jacket after the snow in Jersey struck Danny more than he expected. This place was definitely not where he'd imagined growing old as a kid. Now he couldn't imagine leaving.

"You’re lucky you're not saying aloha to the coroner!" Danny huffed.

It was hard to take him seriously when a large fluffy dog was trying to clamber onto his lap and roll onto his belly to get all the attention possible. Junior held out an arm to help Danny back to his feet. Danny pulled him into a hug as he did. Even though he'd scared him, Danny was glad to know Junior was safe.

"I'm sorry I couldn't pick you up from the airport. I figured it'd be easier if I dropped Eddie off now so you could sleep in the morning. Also if he stayed with us much longer, Tani might not give him back."

Usually Danny would have found a wisecrack to make at that, but he couldn’t bring himself to even try. As silly as it made him feel, dogs really were a weakness for Danny. He'd always loved being around them ever since he was a kid. This one though, this one was even more special. This one even got Grover on his side. Everyone loved Eddie. Besides he couldn't betray Steve by giving him away like that.  
Not to mention Charlie.

 _"EDDIE!"_

Charlie discarded all of his luggage instantly at the door and dove across the room straight for the dog. Eddie leapt to his paws just long enough to dash over to the boy and collapse obediently at his feet. Charlie dropped to his knees and threw his arms around the dog’s neck. Eddie's tail beat like a whip as he wriggled out of the boy’s arms to lick his face eagerly. Any residual tension in the room melted away as the boy's delighted giggles replaced them.

"I thought I told you to wait outside," Danny said to Kamekona as he and Grace appeared in the doorway.

"We saw Junior's car. Figured it was safe," Grace shrugged.

She dumped her own bags at the foot of the stairs like she always had when staying with Danny. Living out of a bag was so second nature to her now that she didn’t feel the need to unpack at all. Danny huffed. Between this and her walking straight into an argument in New Jersey, Danny was wondering if he had taught her enough about self defense to let her go into the world alone. Grace's head tilted at the elephant in the room no one else had mentioned. 

"Uh, what’s that?" 

Attention returned to the box. It was a large cube covered in different scraps of shiny wrapping paper. It looked as though someone had gathered the last of the wrapping paper they had around them just to cover it. The mismatched papers felt oddly familiar. It was not very neat or very pretty, but it was eye catching. Danny eyed it cautiously. He glanced at Junior.

"Did you have something to do with this?" He asked. 

"No sir, I just signed for it," Junior grinned.

Danny’s brow furrowed. "What is it?"

"There was a message from your father. He said you left this behind and he didn’t want to imagine the tantrum that would cause, so he sent it on for you," Junior smiled.

Danny's frown deepened. "I didn’t leave anything behind."

"Guess you'll have to open it and see," Junior shrugged. 

He couldn't stop himself from grinning eagerly. It was all he could do to stop himself rolling back and forth on the balls of his feet. He was dying to get them clawing at the paper and if they didn’t soon, he would. Grace and Charlie wandered closer to it, and looked up at Danny to wait for his permission to open it. 

"Are you sure it’s from my parents Junior? Doesn’t it seem suspicious to you?" Danny asked tentatively. 

"If I thought it was suspicious I would never have brought it in," Junior promised.

Danny hummed dubiously. While he had no doubt that Junior wasn’t about to put anyone in any danger, he also knew more than he was letting on. Danny licked his lips slowly as he eyed the box. Grace and Charlie watched him, glancing towards the box as they waited for permission to attack it. 

"Well open it up! Let’s see what's inside! I call first dibs!" Kamekona urged from his seat on the couch. 

Eddie had bounced between the people in the room from one to another, sniffing eagerly but now his ears pricked up. He could have sworn he heard the box snicker. The dog crawled towards the box to investigate. 

Grace scoffed, "No way! It's our present, we get first dibs, right Charlie?"

Charlie was watching Eddie. Now he was sniffing the box curiously, but his tail still wagged like he recognised the smell. He barked brightly. Junior swore inwardly as the dog pressed his nose against the box. Danny sent an accusing look at Junior again and folded his arms.

"The highly trained sniffer dog seems to think there is something, uh, incredibly interesting in that box, Junior. You sure you don't know what that is?" Danny asked.

Junior's smile fades as he sucked in his lips. It was all he could do to keep from ripping the box open himself. They hadn't even made an airhole, and now that was beginning to feel like a mistake. Kamekona was feeling just as antsy and he wasn't certain about the contents.

"What's the hold up? Let’s open her up!" Kamekona urged.

Danny swung around to shoot a warning glare at him. Just moments ago, he had been stalking down a potential criminal, and now a mysterious box had made an appearance in his house that no one could account for. Maybe it was paranoia, or maybe Clara had been right when she said he could only relax when he knew he was safely defended by Steve, but it unsettled Danny.

"I don't think-" he began slowly.

"Come on Danno, we've all been miserable all day, let us have a little fun before we have to sleep," Grace whined.

"Yeah, come on Dan-" Junior began. Danny cut him off with a raise of his brow. Junior shut his mouth and gave a sheepish chuckle, "Come on Danny."

Eddie had not yet left the box alone, and if Danny waited much longer the dog was going to rip it apart whether they liked it or not. Besides, Charlie was already tugging at the unsecured parts of the wrapping paper. With Grace begging too, Danny had to give in. He wasn't going to win.

"Alright, alright, just... just be careful," He sighed hesitantly. 

As if exhaustion had never existed in their bodies, both kids dove on the box. They shredded the paper - with a little help from Eddie - while eagerly questioning what could be inside.

"Could be bikes! Grandpa would have sent them here so we didn’t have to take them on the plane," Grace said, logically.

"Maybe it’s the life size robot I asked for!" Charlie piled on.

"It’s not is it?" Danny asked Kamekona quietly.

He hoped not. There was barely enough room in the house for the three of them and the dog sometimes. A giant robot was not their main requirement. 

"No idea, but I hope so. A life size robot could be great publicity. Would you consider letting me give it my face?" He asked. 

Danny just rolled his eyes. He wrapped an arm across his stomach to try and pin down some of the butterflies, while his other hand pinched his bottom lip nervously. He had no idea why he felt so endangered by the unknown package. Danny's gaze was so intensely fixed on it as he shifted his grip on his gun that he didn't notice Junior recording the scene.

When they'd finally torn off the wrapping all that left was brown cardboard.

"What is it Gracie?" Charlie asked, in slightly bewildered awe.

Grace frowned and shook her head, "I - I dont know there’s no label. I guess we have to-"

Grace reached for the flap at the top of the box cautiously. Junior was almost bouncing with excitement, which was undoubtedly shaking the video footage. None of them had noticed him start recording, and none of them noticed it now. Their eyes were transfixed on the box. Danny tightened his grip on his gun.

Grace tugged at the top flap, and much to everyone’s surprise and Danny’s horror, a hand shoved its way up to help her. 

_"Grace!"_

Danny yelped urgently as he darted forward to grab her and yank her back. No matter how big she got Danny was still able to wrap his arms around her middle and sweep her off her feet from behind. She howled in protest as he did. The noise set off Eddie who barked wildly at the new wave of action.

Unfortunately for Danny, Charlie was too quick for him to grab. Charlie's eyes had clapped onto the rest of the man attached to the arm and he screamed in delight. He threw himself head first into the box to reach him before he could fully stand up.

Grace thrashed hard against Danny to escape his hold, which he hadn’t expected. She slipped free of him as her heel slammed into his thigh causing him to double over. Grace too clambered over the box to meet the man inside it. Now he had risen to his full height, Junior laughed brightly as Kamekona leapt to his feet too, shouting in delight.

"Well if it isn’t the big kahuna himself! Long time no see old man, we thought you'd forgotten about our little island," he laughed.

"Kamekona!" A familiar voice laughed warmly, "Me? Forget O'ahu? Never!"

Danny's mind had once more gone into overdrive. He had so many reactions he couldn’t settle on a single one so he just froze. He stood upright, with his hands hanging down by his sides, and the gun in his hand, and just stared at Steve.

Where he was standing.

In their house.

Under their tree.

In a box.

In the exact same clothes as he had been wearing the last time, he saw him.

Charlie had climbed into the box in order to clamber into Steve's arms, and was now sitting on his hip, clinging to him. Grace was outside the box, pulling at it, just as eagerly as Charlie had. Eddie was leaping fully off the ground, barking and trying to lick Steve's face clean of. With his free hand Steve tried to anticipate where the dog would leap next, but it was almost impossible to. Plus, he was trying to balance Charlie to keep him away from the dogs claws. All while trapped in a box.

Steve's voice was full of laughter as he cried, "Hey Eddie! Hi Buddy! Hey! Wow, you've put on weight boy. What’s this like four pounds?! Down- Get down man! Someone control this dog! Down Eddie!”

That was Junior's cue. He stopped recording and whistled to get Eddie's attention. Eddie dashed over to him obediently, which gave Grace the space to throw her arms around Steve from outside the box. He naturally returned the favour but his eyes didn't leave Eddie.

“Why's my dog so fat Grace?” Steve accused.

“He's an old man enjoying his retirement Uncle Steveo! He's allowed to put on weight,” she grinned.

“Amen to that,” Kamekona agreed.

Kamekona leaned over the edge of it so that he could take Steve’s hand, pull it to his chest as he went for a half hug, and clap him on the back as he did. Steve beamed all the way through the interaction. 

"Ua nele mākou, welcome home," Kamekona said.

"I missed you too big guy. What’s going on, going soft on me? Huh? I thought you’d never miss a haole," Steve teased.

"I can miss a brother though, and you’re ohana, brother," Kamekona said.

Steve’s expression softened as he pressed a hand against his chest, "Aw Kammy!"

"But only if you brought me presents though. You can’t travel the world and come back empty handed, yknow, its not polite," Kamekona added.

Steve threw his head back and laughed loudly at Kamekona. Kamekona grinned back, but he tried to keep his serious expression as he repeated himself.

"What? It’s not polite!"

Now _this_ was the reaction he had been expecting the first time round. Oh it felt good to be home.

Junior and the kids laughed along with the elder men, but Danny did not. He found himself on the edge of a bubble staring at them and he didn’t know how to break in. The first thing he had to do was put down the gun. He barely registered his own movements as he slipped it back into his holster. 

"How long are you back for?" Kamekona asked. 

"I'm back for good this time man!" Steve grinned.

Charlie gasped in delight. "You mean it?!"

"That calls for a celebration," Kamekona declared.

"I'll tell you what, I'll give you your presents at my welcome home party, which I will start planning today, alright? Let me get out of this box first," Steve said.

"Alright! Party! Drop me a message with the details though, cause I've got a business to get back to," Kamekona said.

Once again, he reached into the box to hug Steve again. He threw up a shaka to Danny, which suddenly kicked him back into action. 

"Mahalo for the lift Kamekona," his voice croaked from lack of use.

"No worries. Don't make it a regular thing though, I got priorities," Kamekona smiled.

He chuckled to himself as he left the house. This ohana was full of surprises. They would always be a priority for that alone! Junior jogged over to the box, closing the gap that Kamekona had just opened, and trapping Steve in again. Steve held in a groan.

The box smelt faintly of old milk and he'd already been stuck in it more than he ever expected. Now with his friends crowding him he didn’t have the space to climb out of it. At least in Jersey he had managed to escape. Sure it bruised him, but he had gotten out.

"I gotta go too, Tani will kill me if I'm much longer. She’s already annoyed she can't be here too but someone's gotta work right? Welcome home sir," Junior beamed.

Steve held out his arm. Junior latched his own back so their hands were at each other’s elbows. It wasn’t so much a hand shake as clinging onto one anothers arms.

"Mahalo for the help Jun. I mean it. I couldn’t have done it without you," Steve grinned.

"It was a pleasure sir," Junior beamed, honestly.

Junior practically skipped out of the house, giddy with delight at what he had just witnessed. It always felt great to help a friend, and this time he helped two.

As Junior left, Steve’s attention moved away from him down onto Grace, who hadn’t left his side any more than Charlie had. She beamed at him. The utterly giddy childish delight on that beam shone right through her. Even after everything she had been through recently, all the pain that flight, it was as if it never happened. As if she was eight years old and trying to push him into the sea again.

This was the reaction Steve had expected in Jersey. He lit up to see it now. Finally, she looked like she still loved him. Grace threw herself over the cardboard to grab at him. She landed flat against his chest, so pulled at his shirt until he edged closer into her hug.

"I knew you'd come back! I knew it! I knew you wouldn’t leave us twice!" She beamed as she buried her head against his chest.

An hour ago she would never have been able to sound so certain. Steve laid a hand on the back of her head, and tried to lean down to kiss the top of her head. That was trickier than he expected, since Charlie was still latched to his neck like a sloth. It was nice though. To have his boy buried against his neck, and his girl against his chest. Being buried underneath them with Eddie rushing around trying to get into the hug too - this was it. This was what he had been searching for.

Except one thing was missing.

Danny couldn't deny the delight in his chest. There was a glow in him that felt the end of a hallmark movie. But, typical Danny, he could never see the sun without the shadow. There was something here that couldn't be trusted. He couldn’t bring himself to believe this was permanent.

Steve set Charlie back down on his feet and peeled Grace back away from him. They stepped back to watch him try to climb out of the box. As a younger man, Steve would have just leapt out of the box with relative ease. Now though, he tried to climb out of the top, which made the side top heavy. It lurched hard to the side and there was no grip to support himself with. It swept straight over with the weight, sending Steve straight down with it.

Steve swore to himself. It was in that moment that he decided he was far too old to be playing around in boxes anymore. Two had defeated him. He couldn't ever let it become three.

Charlie howled with laughter. Grace hid her mouth behind her hands to try and stop them knowing she was giggling too. Even if her sparkling eyes hadn't sold her out, her laughter was like a bell and it was their favourite sound in the world. They knew it well. She couldn't hide it. As Eddie came sniffing at him, Steve didn't have it in him to push him away, so when he licked Steve's face Grace gently guided him to one side.

She leaned over him, still smiling, which made her hair cloak around her face and brush against his. He winced as it got close to his eyes, but he didn’t complain. Perhaps because he was winded. 

"You okay Steveo?" She giggled. 

Charlie bounced over to them to look over him from the other side. If Steve had tried to look annoyed, he failed. From where he laid flat on his back, looking up at the kids, he gave them the best pout his could muster. 

"Don't you two have some unpacking to do or something?" He grumbled.

"You'd be a lot scarier if you weren't smiling," Grace smiled.

"I'm not smiling," Steve lied.

"Aren’t you?" Grace asked with a plotting smirk.

"No way," Steve lied.

"Hear that Charlie? Think we should make him smile?"

Grace raised an eyebrow at Charlie. Like all siblings, they could have a conversation in just a look. A look that made Charlie tilt his head hopefully.

"Tickle fight?" He asked quietly.

Steve's eyes widened fearfully as the knowing smirk spread from Grace to Charlie. He already started squirming before either of them had dropped to the floor beside him.

"W-w-wait! No! Danny! Da-Danny!"

Both kids threw themselves at their uncle as he writhed to get away. Doing so made his dog tags fall free from his shirt and jingle when he moved. Charlie pinned him down by sitting on his legs to stop him escaping. Grace went for the edges of his shirt to try and get at some flesh. Danny rolled his eyes. Having watched Steve use his children as exercise equipment, he was certain they couldn’t hold him down. And tickling him like that? Steve had survived physical torture and volunteered for sensory torture. Plus the last time he was tickled like this, it was while pinned down in the snow.

Those kids had nothing on Steve.

That being said, it was nice to hear Steve cry out his name desperately between gulps of laughter instead of between painful gasps like he usually did. Danny watched Steve army crawl across the carpet, exposing his mid riff as he went. Instantly Eddie snuffled at the exposed flesh. His whiskers actually did tickle him more though, which made him laugh louder.

"Dan _-ny_!" Steve whined through his laughter. 

Danny rolled his eyes but he took pity on his helpless partner. He clapped his hands to interrupt them. 

"Alright, alright, alright, kids! Stop it! Come on, get up. Both of you, up," he said. "C’mon, we've all been travelling for hours, we're all tired, let’s give uncle Steve a break."

Charlie and Grace groaned reluctantly as they pulled themselves off of the ground, leaving Steve on the floor gasping for air. They were a little disappointed that he hadn't joined in this time. The brighter mood for them didn't seem to affect their father. Danny ushered the kids upstairs to unpack, knowing that neither would be able to resist the siren call of their beds. Eddie went dashing after Charlie, as he always did. Danny appreciated how protective the dog was of his son. That was one less thing to worry about.

Once they were alone Danny leaned against the wall to watch Steve lying flat to catch his breath. 

"You alright?" He asked. 

Steve lifted his head to look over him, and then dropped his head with a sigh. "Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'm alright."

Danny said nothing more, but watched the way his exposed stomach rose and fell as he caught his breath again. When he pushed himself back up into a sitting position, his hair had been all mussed up and he looked like a teddy bear. Steve looked up at Danny, who quietly looked away from him again. He couldn't bare to meet Steve's eye. 

Sure, he was back here again, but at what cost? Where was he when they were in the layover from hell?

"Are _you_ alright Danny? It’s not like you to be quiet," Steve said.

Without the kids to lighten the mood the air between them was hanging heavy. Danny ran a hand across his hair to scratch the back of his neck.

"So you’re uh... you're back huh?" He challenged quietly. 

Steve gulped. He didn't look happy. This could have been a huge mistake. Steve nodded slowly. He pushed himself to his feet and wandered over towards where Danny was leaning. 

"Yeah. Yeah I am... is that alright with you?" He asked.

It sounded rhetorical, but it wasn’t. He wanted to- no, he _needed_ to know it was okay. That he hadn’t over stepped his mark, and Danny did want him there.  
Danny folded his arms over his stomach and licked his lips. They were burning with the rest of him. Heat he tried to keep away from his cheeks. 

"How long for?" He asked the ground. 

Steve frowned. "Huh?"

"How long before you leave again?" Danny asked.

His tone was level and calm but there was a bite to it that Steve felt sharply. 

"Danny.... I'm back. For good. I promise. I’m not going anywhere," he insisted gently.

"You're back?" Danny repeated. 

Steve nodded again hesitantly. "Yeah, but hey, don't err, don't feel pressured to offer me a place to stay, this is your place down, I'm not trying to take it back. I checked into the Hilton for a while, so I'm good."

Danny frowned, and finally met Steve's gaze. "The Hilton? You're gonna stay at the Hilton?"

Steve nodded. He did his best to find any kind of goofy grin that might have helped to cheer Danny up. They were hard to find when his heart was beating like a drum.

"Well see I had a friend who stayed there once and now he's got this pretty awesome house, but when he was there-"

"But you're home for good?"

Danny held his gaze, unblinking. Steve's arm fell loose to his side. No kind of goof was going to be able to fight that tone. His heart sank to hear it.

"I... I am. Is that okay?"

Danny rolled his eyes and snapped, "If you wanted to come home so badly why didn’t you just come with us? Why make us go through all this, through feeling unwanted, why make us suffer like this?! For the chance to show off? For attention?! Why didn’t you just come to the airport with us like a normal person would?!"

The snap took Steve by surprise. He took a step back as he sheepishly insisted, "I tried! I tried, okay, I did-" 

"You obviously didn’t try that hard, what'd you do, look at our plane tickets and decide you didn't want to stop over in San Diego with us when you could come straight here to make a big show and dance-" Danny interrupted.

"No, no, hey no! Listen to me! I tried to get on your plane, I really did! Just ask your father- he doesn't like me driving either now by the way, but he-"

"My - _my_ _father_ let _you_ drive?"

The surprise written across Danny’s face made Steve ease off. The way his eyes widened made his feelings known. Danny felt like he was trapped in a hurricane and had no idea how to find the ground. Steve nodded, a little sheepishly again.

"Yeah. He knew how important it was that I get to the airport fast," he explained. 

"But you didn't come to the airport. We waited, you didn’t come," Danny accused. 

Steve tilted his head again and Danny had to look away. He hated it when Steve's eyes shone like that. Like he was surprised something cared about him. Surprised that Danny cared. Of course Danny cared. He should know that by now.

"You waited for me?" 

The wonder in his tone was like a bullet in Danny's arm. It ached to hear the way Steve still didn't think he was important to him. He was the only thing important to him, beyond his children. 

" _Of course I waited for you!_ But you didn’t come," Danny huffed.

"I..."

Danny's gaze was so accusing and hurt and brimmed with tears that made his eyes shine. That ache in Steve's chest grew heavier. He couldn't believe he had hurt Danny again. He felt like an idiot. 

"I went to the wrong airport..."

Steve bowed his head at the confession. It was a stupid and embarrassing mistake, and he hated how easily he could have avoided it. Danny raised his head in surprise at the same time. Steve wrinkled his nose as he waited for his partner to snicker at him. Danny blinked in surprise. The usual wisecracks that were to be expected, but they didn’t come.

"What?" Danny asked in wonder.

"I went..." Steve repeated, half way through a sigh. Danny could almost swear there was a hint of red growing in his cheeks as the embarrassment filled his voice, "to the wrong airport. I went to Newark, because you always say how much you hate JFK, especially around the holidays, so I just assumed you’d fly out from Newark. You didn't tell me you weren't so I thought, well... it wasn't Newark."

As suprised as he looked, there was delight in his eyes. Delight, and wonder. A small smile grew across Danny's face.

"You listen to me that much huh? Enough to know my preferences? So much you went to the wrong airport?"

Steve winced at the way he said it. The joy in it. Mistakes were only human, but mistakes like that could get people hurt in the Navy. He hated making them.

"I always listen to you Danny, it’s just that you've got so much to say, it's hard to keep up," Steve shrugged.

"If you were at the wrong airport how did you even get here? There aren't any flights back from Newark until the new year, that's why we flew from JFK. What'd you do Steve?" Danny accused. 

"I uh..." his hand moved to his exposed dogtags. "I pulled some strings to borrow a space on a military jet that just happened to be passing over Hawaii anyway. I landed like an hour before you did."

"An hour before- so if we didn't have that layover we would have been here before you?"

Steve's eyes flicked away from Danny's at the mention of the layover. The less Danny knew about that the better. For everyone. His hand trailed towards Danny's hand, but he stopped himself from daring to touch it. 

"I'm sorry I wasn't in San Diego, but I'm here now. I'm here, and I’m not going anywhere," Steve insisted. 

As he spoke he edged closer to Danny. Danny allowed him to run a hand down from his shoulder to his upper arm. Steve dared to edge in closer still, trying hard not to be caught as he kept glancing down at Danny's lips.

"Promise?" Danny muttered quietly.

He had to look up at Steve since he was shorter than him, but it did give him a short of hopeful innocence to do so. It was times like this that Steve reveled in their height difference. Steve nodded. 

"Promise."

Steve closed the gap between them by closing his eyes and knocking his forehead against Danny’s. He had been going for a hongi, but the way their noses brushed gave Danny a different idea. His heart was going wild at the risks, but dammit he had to try. Hesitantly Danny raised his chin up to edge his lips closer to Steve's...

It was a soft, shy brush at first. A tiny question, asking permission. It took Steve by surprise and his stomach hit the floor. The soft gasp that escaped from him made Danny tense up. He felt his cheeks flush and the blood rushing though his chest set off the flight part of his fight or flight response. Danny pulled back, already half mumbling apologies, but Steve stopped him. 

A desperate but gentle hand on Danny's cheek stopped him from escaping, let alone mumbling half-hearted escuses. Steve's hand was rougher than Danny had expected - weathered and calloused from rigorous use and hard work - but his touch was soft. His fingers traced their way down from his hairline, to his jaw, and led him back in closer to Steve's own jaw.

Danny closed his eyes as Steve laid a testing kiss against Danny's lips, using them to pull his apart as he did. It was just as hesitant as Danny's had been. A quiet, soft permission. An agreement that he also wanted this...

All at once Danny pressed up against him harder. He slung and arm around the back of Steve's neck and yanked him down to Danny's level. The desperation in his touch was loud. He kissed Steve like he was drowning and Steve was air.

Like he'd been fighting all his life to get here.

Steve's smile was inescapable, even when kissing. Danny could feel the light radiating from it against his skin, which only made him smile back. The butterflies in his stomach were swarming now, and his heart felt like it was going to burst through his chest. His hands slithered down Danny's chest till they found a place to rest at his hips. 

Suddenly all the ghosts lingering in this house dimmed back to the shadows. There was a new memory here that outshone all of them, good and bad.

Steve peeled back for a moment, leaving Danny hanging close. Steve rested his forehead back against Danny's and opened his eyes to take in the beautiful blissed out look on his partners face.   
It was the first time in forever that he had seen the loud blonde speechlessly happy. He moved his arms around his waist to pull him close.

"If I'd known what was waiting for me, I would have come back the day after I left," Steve muttered.

"Then you've got a lot of time to make up for," Danny warned softly, but the smile stole away the threat.

"And plenty to make the most of," Steve grinned.

Steve stole another kiss while Danny was still too stunned by them to object. Another soft linger pulled from his lips. That was what pulled him back into reality. Danny rested his hands against Steve's chest to stop him for a minute. Steve took a step back. This was going faster than he'd ever dared dream, and he did not want to do anything to screw it up, so Danny lead the way.

"Steve, listen, you know I love you, but-" he began gently.

Steve lit up. "I didn't, but I do now!"

Danny frowned, "What are you talking about, I've told you I love you a hundred times!"

"Yeah, but that was friendship," Steve shrugged, grinning, "This is - well it’s not friendship."

A mischievous light flickered in Danny’s eyes as he cocked his head at Steve, "You’re telling me your friends don't kiss you like this?"

Danny lunged for Steve. Steve chuckled against him, allowing the rumble to move through his jaw into Danny’s. Danny’s hand trailed up the back of his neck and into his hair. The way his fingers tangled against Steve's hair sent a tingle down his spine. He tightened his hold around Danny's waist till their hips knocked. Danny broke away before he could go any further. Steve swallowed back a disappointed groan as he did.

Danny held onto his cocky grin, waiting for Steve’s answer. Steve's eyes sparkled as he pursed his lips thoughtfully and hummed.

"Not all of them, just a few I really like," he lied.

Danny’s mouth opened to retort, but the arrogance of his partners statement took him by surprise. It shouldn’t have. Danny’s grin deepened as his mind already plotted his next step. 

"Oh really? What about like this?"

Danny threw himself against Steve’s entirety. His arm latched around his neck, the other tangling deeper into his hair. The sudden thrust of his weight against Steve caused him to stagger backwards. Danny's mouth gulped him in, sucking at anything he could reach. Anything he could taste. Steve's hand moved from Danny's waist to the back of his head to pull him closer, and counter his shifting weight. Steve pulled at Danny’s shirt, trying to get even closer if that was even possible. Danny's heart fluttered as he heard a moan escape Steve’s lips.   
Danny pulled away and he could have sworn he heard Steve whimper. 

"Any of them kiss you like that?" Danny challenged. 

"I dunno, do it again so I can check," Steve grinned. 

Danny chuckled. He allowed Steve to scoop him up and drop him onto the couch. Steve crawled over the top of him and laid another kiss on his jaw. Danny let him, but he didn't kiss back this time. His mind was already flicking away onto what came next. This was exactly what he had wanted. This was it. This was everything.

At least it was for Danny.

Sensing his hesitation, Steve paused. He pulled back. His heart beat hard against his ribs, fearful that maybe he had changed his mind. That he had suddenly decided this wouldn’t be enough for him. That Steve wouldn't be enough. 

"Are you okay? Do you not wanna do this?" He asked, cautiously. 

"It’s not that, it's just..." 

Steve was still on top of Danny, pinning him to the couch. Danny absently flicked at the dog tags Steve was wearing. Steve had had to dig them out of his bag before the commanding officers would allow him onto the flight. He'd just forgotten to take them off afterwards. Little things like those tags reminded Danny of how much loyalty was in Steve. Sure, he was loyal to Danny, he'd do anything for the kids, but he'd do everything for anyone. For his whole country. He'd give up _everything,_ put himself in mortal danger, at the drop of a hat. This was a step that, once taken, put a lot more at risk.

He could see Dannys hesistance so Steve sat up, freeing him. Dannys eyes never left the dog tags. Steve tucked his tags back beneath his shirt when he noticed.

"What were you going to say Danny? I know you love me, but? But what?" 

Danny didn't respond.

"Talk to me. I don't wanna do anything that you don't, so you gotta talk to me," Steve urged.

Danny sighed hard and dropped his head back against the couch cushions. It was a horribly unfair question that he couldn't get out of his head. One he didnt really want to ask, but it wouldn't go away if he didn't.

He couldn't bring himself to look Steve in the eye as he asked, quietly, "You're not going to disappear again, right?"

The question was the only thing about the entire situation that actually made Steve's heas spin. He peeled himself back from Danny entirely to sit by his feet. Danny sat up and shuffled closer to him. After all they'd been through together, if his doubt was what kept them apart, he'd never forgive himself. 

"All I mean is you're used to being on the move. You said it yourself, you're not used to living alone. What if you decide you still can't stay here? I can't follow you Steve. As much as I want to, I can’t," Danny explained. 

Steve nodded slowly in agreement. "You’re right. I can’t promise that there won't always be some form of wanderlust in me, but that doesn't matter. I'll take vacations or go visit people, or go on a survival camping trip to see if I've still got the skills - but I'll always come back home. And I'll always call. And that I can promise."

Danny didn’t seem convinced. "Can you?"

"Of course," Steve nodded.

"But you couldn't even keep in contact when you were wandering around the world Steve. How are you gonna call me from a campsite in the wilderness?"

"I dunno, cell? Satellite phone? Walkie-talkie? Hell, I'll climb a really tall tree and use a torch to blink morse code messages to pilots so they can relay messages to you if thays what it takes!"

Danny rolled his eyes and tried to pretend that the idea of Steve doing something that dramatic just to stay in contact with him didn't flatter him.

"You're being ridiculous," he said.

"Maybe," Steve entwined his fingers with Danny's. It felt a lot easier to be honest when he knew what it would lead to. "But I wanna stay here Danno. I want to come home. To be with you. I want my last kiss to yours."

Danny tilted his head and frowned. He pulled back slightly as he did. "Uh... what?" 

"I mean when we're old!" Steve insisted, "when we grow old together, I want the last person I ever kiss to be you Danny. Here. Together. In this house, on this island... There’s nowhere else I'd rather be."

"Nowhere?" Danny repeated suspiciously. 

"This is it for me. _You_ are it for me."

Steve paused after his words. The grip he had on Danny’s hand eased hesitantly as his heart thumped against his ribcage. 

"If you wanna be that is..."

Danny's chest tightened as he reaffirmed his grip on Steve's hand. Almost too eagerly he declared, "I do. I really, really do. I wanted to tell you in Jersey, but I - I dunno, it didn't feel right, but I love you Steve."

Steve blinked slowly, but grinned. "Why - why didn’t you? I would have been on the flight if I had known-"

"I needed to know you wanted this too. All of it. Me, the kids- you had to want it all, not just me."

"You’re all I ever wanted," Steve laughed.

"But you left us once..."

It hurt to say it, and it hurt to hear it, but it would have hurt so much more if it had gone unsaid. Danny couldn't live his life with a lingering fear that Steve might leave at any moment. The man had lived with a go bag in his bedroom cupboard and another under his desk at work the entire time Danny knew him. If he ever wanted to leave, Danny might not even have time to stop him. 

Steve reached a hand out to stroke Danny's cheek. Danny naturally rolled his head to fit against his palm. It eased the pain a little to see how easily they fit together.

"When I left... Oh I just shouldn't have left. I made things so messy didn't I? That's on me. But I promise you, I don't want to leave again. Everyone I love is here. This is home. I'll stay in the Hilton, give you some space until we can work it all out, but I'm staying Danny. Even if, for whatever reason, we can't make it work, I'm staying."

There was a long pause as Danny thought over his answer. He thought about Adam and Kono having Christmas together again. They had been able to work it out, and their problems were bigger than his and Steve's... all they needed was a little time and some space... All Steve and Danny needed was honesty.

 _"Everyone_ you love?" Danny repeated, pointedly. 

"All except Joan and Mary," Steve nodded. 

"Who's everyone?" Danny asked.

Steve caught on early, but he couldn't resist the chance to tease him a little, "Well there's Charlie and Gracie obviously. And Kamekona is here too, and Junior."

"Uh huh, who else?" Danny asked stubbornly. 

Steve pursed his lips and rolled his head back against the couch, once against pretending to think.   
"Tani. Quinn. Adam. I hear Kono is back too-"

Danny smacked him across his arm, "Say it you jerk! I said it, you should say it. Unless you don't mean it?"

Steve sat up defensively at the accusations. "Unless I don't- Daniel, I have travelled from LA to New Jersey to O'ahu in the space of like a week, following you. Don't actions speak louder than words?"

"Sure, but I'd still like to hear it," Danny shrugged. 

Steve made a point of rolling his eyes like it was the most ridiculous thing that he had ever heard Danny say, but that dumb smile of his lit up his eyes.

"I love you, Detective Danny Williams. Is that good? I love you, you idiot, okay? I love you! Happy now? I love you."

Danny beamed. He practically climbed into Steve’s lap to cup his cheek and pull him forward into another kiss. When he pulled back, Steve's eyes were glazed over with blissful affection that melted the worry out of Danny’s heart for a change.

"Good enough," Danny muttered.

"Good," Steve said as his arm slithered back around Danny. "Because as much as I love you, I haven’t slept since I went rushing off to Newark airport-"

"I can’t belive you went to the wrong airport!" Danny snorted. 

Steve grinned his megawatt grin and shook his head. "I'm exhausted Danno," he continued, as if he had never been interrupted. "Any chance we can just put a pin in this conversation and have a nap for a while?" 

Danny's eyes rolled back in his head as if this was the single greatest thing he had ever heard and grinned back at him. 

"You read my mind!"

Steve laughed warmly and pulled Danny closer to kiss his neck to kiss him again before he had to leave and check in at the Hilton. Danny chuckled as he felt Steve's mouth shuffle a line of kisses up from his collar towards his ear.

"I'll come back," he said, between kisses, "as soon as I wake up, I'll come back. Then we can decide what to tell the kids."

"We knew before you did!" Grace yelled from upstairs. 

Both of the men looked up in horror and pulled apart as if that would stop her from having seen them embraced. She hadn't actually seen them though. She was still in her room, so she couldn't see how tangled the two of them had gotten so quickly. When they realised that, they relaxed slightly.

"Old house..." Steve whispered, thoughtfully, "thin walls..."

Danny's gaze moved slowly from the stairs back to Steve. The fear and relief mixed in his stomach and he wasn't entirely sure how to react. Then Steve clenched his jaw to try and hold in a laugh, and Danny couldn't help it. He broke into joyful laughter that only got louder when Steve joined in.

Grace was laying on her own bed, in a house she had been visiting since she was eight years old. One her brother had been visiting since he was born. Recently it had felt haunted by someone who wasn't even there. Now though, she could hear the joy in her father's voice. She could hear the way their laughter echoed across the house. How Eddie in the room next door beat his tail against the mattress in solidarity. Now that happiness had finally returned to their house, it felt like a home again. It was solid again. Somewhere she could safely return to. 

So it finally felt safe to think about leaving. 

"I guess that's one conversation down," Steve laughed.

Danny groaned, mid laugh. That wasn't exactly the way he would have planned to tell his daughter that - actually he wouldn't plan to tell his daughter anything this way. But it was hard to remember to stay quiet when the glee in your heart is clattering across all of your bones and the blood is rushing past your ears into your head.

Danny reached across to Steve and pushed him down against the couch to pin him against the cushions. Steve allowed him to control their movements. For a moment, Danny just rested his head against Steve's shoulder, nuzzled safety against his neck. That was enough to make Steve's heart fly. But then he started laying a trail of kissed across his neck, and his heart beat hard enough to hear it.

"Y'know, you could stay here..." Danny's voice was muffled against Steve's neck as he reached his ear. "Stay here and nap with me."

Steve's voice was flat as he asked, "on the couch?"

The kisses stopped. He hadn't even thought about the bed. Steve groaned. He knew that Danny would willingly nap on the couch but the bed was so much more comfortable, and he didn't want to push his luck. He was an old man now, discomfort could physically hurt him. At least at the Hilton he had a bed.

Danny's eyes moved towards the stairs. There were so many steps. It was so much effort to climb them. On top of that, his bed was so far from the stairs. He'd have to drag himself all the way to his room and all the way to his bed. Of course, if he stayed here, he could relax with Steve, who was already doodling sleepy circles on his arm.

"You should stay anyway. You're too tired to drive, it's not safe. And you promised to plan a party, you'll get distracted in a hotel," Danny said.

Steve leaned back against the the couch and sighed. Danny was still tangled against him. Hawaii was warm and the air was lazy, and Steve was finding it hard not to let it drag him into sleep. Likewise, Danny was struggling to hold his eyes open against Steve's neck. The weight of his arms around him was like a warm duvet. They'd been awake for just too long. Besides, the exhilaration of finding out you're in love with someone who's in love with you, really took it out of them.

"I will. I will. Later," Steve muttered.

"I won't do it for you," Danny warned.

"I won’t ask you," Steve promised.

"But I'll help if you stay," Danny yawned.

Steve yawned back instead of replying. Danny didn't grumble, but he adjusted his position against Steve for comfort. Steve's workouts made him an oddly cosy surface to lie on, so Danny felt incredibly comfortable laying his head across his chest and listening to his steadying heart beat. Danny's shorter stature meant he fit snugly in Steve's arms, like a large and warm teddy bear to cuddle with. All the weight of the world lifted from each of them as they settled into one another’s hold. That included the party planning.

As they quietly drifted off together, Steve pressed a kiss against Danny's blonde hair. Danny shifted at the touch, murmuring what sounded like it was supposed to be, "dont touch the hair" but his tiredness made it nonsensical. Steve smiled affectionately. They still had a long way to go, but they were at the starting line together, which was something he could only have dreamed of before today. He still couldn't believe this was happening. That his family had come together like this. That this was finally _r_ _eal._

His ohana wanted him. 

His partner loved him. 

It made his heart skip a beat.

"Steveo?"

Steve groaned hard but the chuckle afterwards gave him away. The name was going to stick, and there was nothing that he was could to do stop it. Not that he'd try. Danny spoke quietly into Steve's chest, and he felt the rumble of his soft chuckle before it reached his sleepy smile.

"Yeah Danno?"

"You're not allowed to leave O'ahu ever again, okay?"

Steve laughed. He couldn't keep his eyes open to look at Danny, but Danny's eyes were on him. The blissfully peaceful look that softed the hard lines of his expression was beautiful. Once again Danny felt himself sink effortlessly in love with his partner. 

"Okay." He promised. He nuzzled whatever part of Danny was closest and muttered, "I love you Danno."

Danny's heart grew two sizes and felt weightless as he murmured back, "I love you too Steveo."

The uproar of the house from just moments ago faded as the jet lagged family recharged in the safety of their own home. For the first time in a long time, peace settled over them. Their whole ohana was finally, happily, under one roof. Together. 

Just in time for the new year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the whole box scene was partly inspired by Patterns of Warmth, 6 - Heartstrings by IreneClaire for Calacious which is super cute and you can read it here:
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/17171747/chapters/40374446


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